i'm accepting wat i supposed & expected to accept..

*i'm accepting wat i supposed n expected 2 accept *

i jus realised tat i'm alread startin 2 accept wat i supposed n expected 2 accept.. it's been 6days since i noe e "truth".. i can sae tat it has been a big blow 2 mi at 1st.. it's nv been easy 4 mi 2 give up.. but after knowing the truth.. it's making mi feel worse.. it was a double blow 2 mi.. sae truely.. i cried myself 2 slp tat nitez.. i noe it's realli silly n foolish 2 do tat.. but i jus cant help being so silly n foolish.. by hearing sum1 telling mi tis.. it's realli so impossible tat tis has been e case.. but seeing it myself.. it's realli heartbrokening.. i hav nv imagine tat would be case.. i hav nv come across such a situation.. mayb tat's e reason i need more time than anybody 2 accept it.. or bcos i'm jus steorotype.. anyway.. i mus thk tat person who told mi tis.. it has nv contribute 2 helpin mi let go.. but.. at least i understand y things didnt work out.. i hav nv blame u (e person who told mi) nor him.. dun worry.. i'll be okie.. it's jus TIME tat i need.. no matter wat, i still treat him as a fren.. seriously..

for watever reason it can be.. i have to ACCEPT.. jus accept.. i cant talk to anyone abt tis.. all i can is 2 type my feelings out here.. n without reviewing wat i'm refering to as well.. it's a promise.. somethingy tat i mus bring along wif mi in2 my coffin.. it sound like someone has committed a crime n i mus help 2 hide yupz?? anyway.. is jus someone's privacy.. i reall hav no rights n say in anythingy.. be it whether can i accept it or not, whether i'm sad or crying over it.. it's jus my personal opinion n point of view.. yupz.. it's my blog.. so i tink it's alright 2 voice wat i wanna sae here yupz? hmmm... okie.. JESSICA LOH, STOP DWELLING IN THIS INCIDENT!!! WAKE UP!!!!

hmmm.. on thurs.. was feeling itchy all over my body..yester.. i didnt go work.. was developin some feng mo.. patches n patches of red spots all over my body.. i couldnt even on e fan when i slp!!!! oh man!! went back 2 clementi 2 c my family doc.. hmmm.. i simply cant trust doc at yishun.. lolx.. mayb jus not used 2 it ba.. went 4 medical check up yester as well.. 2 save e trouble of taking leave as well.. i took a chest x-ray, urine test n 2 blood tests.. so 2 tubes of blood are taken away.. my blood vessels are jus too difficult 2 be located.. they are too small 2 be seen.. so it's kind of painful 4 mi when taking blood..

hmm.. guess it's gonna be part of my job.. i'm jus getting used 2 it.. oh ya.. for those whom i didnt mentioned 2 personally.. i shall break e news here.. hopin u will c it?? lolx.. i goin back 2 sch in APRIL!!! yupz.. 16th april!!! HOORAY!!! getting in2 NURSING course.. my life-long career.. in either nyp or simei ite.. cos my maths.. many shld noe i'm weak in tis subject.. got a d7 during my o's.. ite alread accepted my application.. i'm glad.. though many thinks tat it isnt e place i shld be in.. but i feel it's alread 2 study in ite.. it's still a school wif teachers.. a place leading mi 2 my dream.. i read thru a book n came across tis paragraph of words ...

" Once u're accepted by a school - even if it is nt ur 1st choice n regardless of how society judges it - it's impt 4 u 2 decide tat e school u're goin 2 is e perfect place 4 u to learn all u want to learn. This attitude is far more constructive in e long run. And dont allow ur confidence to be undermined by e opinions of others. "

yupz.. i gonna bring tis paragraph wif mi all e time..

hmm.. er jie's grandma passed away.. attended e wake twice.. once on thurs n another yester.. went wif a bunch of NP peeps actuall on thurs.. n saw my MIA jie, Steph (goh).. guess she's doin pretty well in uni now.. tat's gd.. as 4 my jie fu, Jiafeng.. he graduated frm NP le.. now waiting 2 be enlisted.. Xueyun da jie didnt did tat well in her exams.. seeing her lookin tired realli makes mi feel heartbroken ne!! as 4 Jaymie.. i'm glad tat she's doin fine nw.. had a great talk wif her when we are on our way home.. yupz.. i hopin wat i sae can touches her heart.. as 4 Shanice.. yupz.. she's havin her holi too.. so gd ne!! jus feel like laughing when she's so reactive when i mentioned something.. cant sae it out here.. wahahaz.. yupz.. didnt expect she noe oso..

hmmm.. went wif Benny 2 e wake yester nitez.. actuall supposed 2 be wif him n teck kun de.. but teck kun got ymd mtg.. so went Benny instead.. he was late.. but at least he inform mi.. onli 15mins late.. not as terrible as Cat, Steph, Rachel or Xianyun.. this 4 frenz of mine.. they each break many records in my life.. can wait 2hrs 4 them de.. back 2 subject.. tat sotong Benny took mrt from somerset.. he's supposed 2 drop at cityhall or raffles place 2 change 2 east-west line.. but instead.. he took e mrt 2 marina bay.. n when he too back 2 cityhall/raffles place, e mrt door closed in front of him.. tat blur king.. alamak!~ hmm.. anw.. at least he inform mi.. okie.. 4given.. reall crack lots of jokes at e wake.. when we are nt supposed 2 be.. n get 2 noe a NP senior, "da" Weiliang.. yupz.. he reall can talk.. i tink William's ears hurts.. lolx.. he talks non-stop e whole nitez..

end up, mi, er jie n Benny kept whisperin 2 one another in front of him.. feel kinda of bad actuall.. mayb bcos he didnt c William 4 very long le.. so there's a lot he wanna find out ba.. let's hav a embracing heart 2 everyone ard us.. yupz.. simply cant stand Benny, er jie n William.. they are jus scary creatures on earth.. i alwaz gana shoot.. but alwaz nv fight back de.. mayb i'm jus wat Benny sae when William/er jie ask mi talk back.. i'm nt tat type who fight back.. lolx.. it reall mus depend on e situation.. mayb bcos i took medi yester.. so was kind of blur too... i feel tat i kind of emo yester.. kind of tired after takin medi n 2 tubes of blood.. i feel e weakness in mi..

had a talk wif Benny yester b4 we reach e place.. hmmm.. he didnt reall do tat well in poly.. n was kind of impossible 4 him 2 get in2 uni.. u can do it de!! dun limit urself!! jiayou!! so he's nw waiting 2 be enlisted.. hmmm... another NS man.. again.. he's a trainer in NDP again.. n he's afraid he will be enlisted b4 e NDP ends.. chant harder ba.. i'll send u daimoku too.. jus realised he's in gym core actuall.. n he's Kevin's senior in NP.. lolx.. i hope u can encourage him yupz.. he's realli kind of blur in e goal n direction he wants 2 b in.. n kind of immature.. i went hm alone.. but er jie n Benny sent mi 2 mrt station.. they are startin their manjong session.. n they actuall played till 7am tis morning.. pro.. i wanted 2 stay.. didnt reall wanna go hm since i'm nt workin 2dae.. but i cant.. mom will jus chop mi off.. but i oso dunoe how 2 play manjong.. so i stay oso cannot do anythingy much..

i'm havin a bad headache 2dae.. like i sae.. i'm emo-ing yester nitez.. i cried again.. i dunoe y oso.. mayb there's too many probz i'm facing now ba.. worrying.. worryin 4 my medical report.. want feeling well.. so didnt attend e wake 2dae.. so sorrie er jie..

jenny came 2 visit mi at hm 2dae.. yupz.. i'm fine.. i'm okie.. dun worry..