[ can a guy and a girl be purely friends? ]

can a guy and a girl be purely friends?

it's been quite some time since my last post.. well, work is just BUSY and only BUSY.. nothing much to elaborate on as you all know, my work is highly private.. everything cannot be discussed out of the 4 walls in the ward..

well, this few days, have been thinking really hard on this topic.. i dont know why.. but just feel that some thoughts should be given to this topic.. "Can a guy and a girl be purely friends?"... my answer was YES many years back.. in fact all along, my answer was this until recently.. i dont know what's bothering me but i just see too many of my friends going beyond the line they should cross despite being in a relationship..

this turns my all along answer - a YES.. to a MAYBE NO.. We are humans, we are made of flesh and tissue.. we do have feelings unlike the animals.. and they are rules that we must abide to.. be it whether it is a law-recognised ones or a self-acknowledged ones.. sometimes we humans just cant stop nor control what our minds are thinking.. therefore it's even harder to control your feelings (heart).. just like Blood Pressure and Heart Rate, something you cant control manually..

One can simply say: " we are just friends..." this is from the mouth.. we can choose to believe, but we can choose not to.. cause it's hard to determine whether those words comes sincerely from the heart or just words to get away what you have to face... I do not know how many agrees that a guy can be friends with their ex-gfs/ female friends or a girl can be friends with their ex-bfs/ male friends..

i maybe able to accept my boyfriend having close female friends.. that word is "Maybe"... but.. to a certain extent, i cant accept my boyfriend being close friends or even keeping in contact with his ex-gfs.. yes, the word is "CANT"... cause i believe feelings cannot be control manually, like what chinese always say - 感情这种事是不可以控制的... i believe feelings has a possibility to REKINDLE.. if not, how "REKINDLE" this word comes about? like a chinese saying - 旧情复燃.. this phrase comes about because it do happens...

if you think the same way i do and your other partner is currently being good friends with the exs of his/her.. i guess to open up truthfully is the solution.. if you think you cant and yet your partner thinks "purely friends" this relationship do exist, to make it a WIN-WIN situation.. i guess letting your partner knows about it is the importance issue to avoid any misunderstandings/agruments in future..

this applies to me of cause.. if my boyfriend thinks he still hopes to be friends with his ex gfs, to be truthful and let me know is what he should do.. tell me if they sms/call one another or meeting up to catch up.. if he has close female friends, introduce them to me.. i guess this avoided unneccessary misunderstandings and ease my mind from running haywire and thinking non-stop... well, this links to the word: TRUTHFUL.. to have trust is one thing.. to achieve trust, you first of all, needs to be truthful to gain truth and gives security to your counterpart..

cause i believe in "ONCE BITTEN, TWICE SHY"... once you have experienced this before, no matter how hard you try, you will have fear in facing the thing again.. if you lie once, you will lie twice, thrice and it goes on.. if you have been caught lying and the other person loses trust in you, to gain it back.. it probably needs to take 1 year, 10years or probably not being able to gain it back anymore..

even if you fear to tell after you lied, my advice would be... before you are being caught red-handed, turn in yourself (自首) ba.. the price you have to pay might be lesser than being caught red-handed.. how the other party reacts is their wish.. but, do your part by turning in.. i'm sure the person will forgive you.. it will takes time for the trust to come back again, long or short depends on your luck then.. the trust level might not be the same before, but it will return to as perfect as it can be i guess.. if you dont wish to face it or dare not face it, never ever try doing thing behind your party's back..

i dont know how you (those reading this entry now) may feel.. but i definitely would not wish to catch my other partner red-handed, doing things beyond his limit.. i will be ANGRY, but i guess the SADDNESS level would be higher.. my heart will bleed but i still hope to hear the truth no matter how hard it can be to be accepted.. how i react is my choice, but bein truthful is your responsibility..

and to those who are still close friends with your exs or have opposite sex close friends, if you are a clever person.. when your ex is contacting you behind his/her partner's back, as a person with a red heart (not black heart), you should tell him/her off that he/she shouldnt be doing so behind his/her partner's back... it isnt far to the other party.. same applies to those having close opposite sex friends... before things get out of hand, give a peace of mind to that person doing things behind his/her partner's back..

that's what i want to share today.. hahaz! dont know what's wrong with me.. maybe i just seen too much of this kind of things that i fear it happens on me? ha! i hope not ba.. do share your thoughts, be it whether you agree or not on my taggy board:) take care people!!!=]