LIVING WITH REGRETS......

LIVING WITH REGRETS........

tis few daes veri busi.. yester work till 1.30.. cos co co nv cum work.. summore got drawings need 2 draw.. i jus do my veri best 2 draw it out.. till hav 2 pick up calls 4 e admin oso.. mutli-taskin.. haiz.. then hav 2 rush 2 tampines kaikan 4 e youth peace lecture on e topic "e triumph of mentor-disciple spirit".. e speaker is soka(india)'s president.. dun realli seems 2 catch him well.. cos of his essen.. plus.. i'm jus tired.. after which.. went 2 eat sakae sushi wif anna, yvonne n another fren whom i 4got e name.. oh gosh.. lolx.. saw ah mui there oso.. she seems happi workin there.. i'm happi 4 her too.. then went hm.. slept quite early.. abt 10 plus i'm alread in bed..

2dae.. woke up quite early too.. cos goin down 2 telok blangah 2 chant.. every sun we hav mornin daimoku/gongyo session from 8am to 9am.. n i was late.. cos of e stupid bus.. but late is alwaz beta than nv turn up.. i jus hardly c any youngsters goin.. 2 mani of them.. sundae is 2 slp as late as they can.. n wake up wif a fresh mind 4 shoppin.. lolx(=.=!!).. after which.. went 2 out book store n bought a book entitled " a piece of mirror".. gonna finish it in 4 daes time no matter wat happened.. cos tis cumin thurs is my 2nd ywd plannin meetin 4 our june's ywd discussion meetin on e 24th.. yvonne treat mi 2 eat dim sum at raffles place tat side.. quite nice.. realli veri long nv eat dim sum liao le.. mayb bcos i'm cantonese ba.. so i love dim sum a lot.. heez(>.<)..

after which.. yvonne went 4 gym.. haiz.. she got free 1 mth membership wanna give mi.. but i'm under 21.. so cannot go.. oh.. so sad(x.x).. i almost fall aslp at e gym there waitin 4 her.. after which.. went 2 her office wif her.. she wanna grab sum stuff done.. then took mrt 2 tampines kaikan 4 2dae's women's peace lecture on e topic " e future lies wif women ".. learnt quite a no of stuff thru e 2 talks.. though is still e same speaker.. lolx(^.^).. after which went 2 eat genki sushi wif them.. it's realli bad.. worse than sakae de.. yvonne realli regret.. n she looks so upset.. haiz.. wat a pity.. nv take pic wif them though i hav camera wif mi.. sobx sobx (T.T)..

took 969 from tampines back hm.. on e bus.. i realli tink a lot.. yvonne kept askin mi 2 go back 2 studies again.. she sae i musnt give up my education bcos of my work.. haiz.. it isnt i dun wan 2 study.. i love 2.. i wish 2.. i wan 2.. i wan 2 go back 2 sch jus like others.. but i cant.. finiancially no.. i cant affect 2 go back 2 sch n give up my job.. i cant even hav e ability 2 study n work at e same time.. time is too consumin 4 my life.. thru out tis 17 over yrs i'm been livin.. i jus realised i got lotsa regrets.. regrets in studies.. regrets in my work.. regrets in my personal love life..

i regret not puttin enough efforts in my studies.. if i do well, i mite not hav 2 work.. i mite hav 2 give up my ambition, my dream.. i mite hav 2 suffer so much.. i mite not hav b force 2 do thingys i hate.. i mite not hav 2 work a longer path than others.. i mite hav 2 give up on e one i love.. now tat i hav switch department.. i hav 2 learn 2 adapt 2 e new enviroment again.. tat's wat i hate.. i dun love 2 learn all over again.. i dun like 2 learn crawling again.. pple r flyin, so y mus i crawl?? quite sum time ago, i feel like movin out.. but i noe i cant survive..

2 mani pple ard mi mite hav e impression tat i'm courageous, daring, confident, determined n independent ger.. especiall those soka frenz of mine.. hahaz.. sorrie 2 sae.. i'm not wat u tink.. i seems courageous from my actions.. i seems daring from my style of workin.. i seems confident from my tone of words.. i seems determined from my thinking.. n.. i seems independent .. but it's all illusion.. cos i not.. i'm oso weak.. weak at times..

cumin 2 relation.. haiz.. well.. i'm quite gd in handlin frenship.. but cums 2 love.. oh no.. wat a mess!! my 1st stead.. he like mi 1st.. so i choose e one who love mi.. 2nd stead.. he oso like mi 1st.. again.. i choose e one who love mi.. my 3rd stead.. oso e same.. i choose e one who love mi.. my 4th stead.. oso like mi 1st.. again.. i choose e one who love mi more than i love him.. e 5th one.. oso.. e same.. y mus i choose e one who love mi?? y cant i choose e one i love??

u neglected mi.. u broke ur promise.. u abandoned mi.. u sae.. u sae if i need ur help.. u give ur fullest support.. but u nv.. u r alwaz MIA.. missing in action.. u r alwaz busi.. i wanna tell u my probz.. i wanna share wif u my happiness.. my sorrows.. liar.. big liar.. mayb i'm wrong.. wrong 2 keep u in my heart.. wrong 2 tink of u.. wrong 2 spare a though 4 u.. wrong 2 noe u.. i'm tired..