[ random me..... ]

random me

i dont know what i should blog.. or maybe how i should i get my blog going.. maybe it's because there's too many things happening.. i dont know what should i say and what i should not say.. when you do something, people will comment.. when you dont do something, people will still comment.. when you did something you feel it's right, people will comment.. when you did something wrong, people will also comment.. then can you tell me, should i do or should not i do?

doesnt i have the basic human rights of doing things i love without your comments? why must people be so CONCERN about my problems?? and give comments not to me personally but to others? cant i have the choice to do things i like? cant i make friends and be close to them cause i'm just feel comfortable with them? why must i bother how people feel when they bother about how i feel? do you know how HURTING it can be when people gives comments about you behind your back? i'm being nice therefore i say give comments.. if you put it in a bad way, that's gossiping.. so what if you have a sense of concern inside? i dont give a damn!....

hais! complain complain complain.... i jus realised i kept complaining recently.. and receive complains from people too.. why cant all these SHIT come to an end? i just feel like breaking down already! and who can i turn to? i dare not turn to YOU.. you should know who you are if you're reading my entry...

i dont want you to feel that i'm a burden to you.. but when i dont pour out, i just feel that i'm feeling really very 痛苦 inside.. sorry if i have taken up lots of your time and make you really busy because of this extra committment.. i know you really have no time of your own.. and really tired cause you have to work, to study, still got school activites, your family, your friends and me.. this must have tired you a lot.. i'm SORRY.. maybe you're right! i should learn to be more INDEPENDENT.. and not to depend on you solemnly.. i always have the thinking that.. with you around, i can have lesser troubles, lesser problems.. and a chance not to be always be acting so strong and courageous in front of everyone.. 我也有软弱的一面.. why must people always have the perception that i'm a strong girl? can i dont be one?

wo heng lei... i dont know how should i carry on? can i stop crying myself to sleep?

i just need a break.. and hopes deeply that i'm a mute, deaf and blind now.. so that i can be isolated away from this world...

i'm just being random.. dont bother to bother.. i just need to vent out this STRESS! hais!