[ do you know how much i love you? ]

do you know how much I LOVE YOU?

things are becoming more complicated.. you know it well how much hurt i got from my previous relationship.. if you did this to me because of what i did it to you on 1st jan.. would it be unfair for me? you know it well what you have did to me but i have never say it out.. cause i dont want to lose you.. i just keep telling myself that you hide from me cause you know i am sensitive and you dont want to start a fight..

i have been trying my best to be more understanding and more patient.. but you arent giving me any chance.. i saw you remove our picture from your wallet...and you say your finger become smaller and afraid the ring will drop out, so you're wearing it at your index finger.. you dont have to spell out.. i know it clearly.. the moment you start eyeing on rings to buy.. i know you're going all out to remove this ring..

do you know how devastated my heart is at that moment? if not because you wants me to take part in a competition for you and i need to check your FIN no.. i wont know that you have removed all the photos from the wallet... i didnt meant to check on you BUT i think God is too kind and also cruel to me.. let me know all these so that i wont have fat hope... but cruel to me because this truth is very devastating... because you know i am trusting you more doesnt mean you can do all these to me..

do you know at that moment i just feel like jumping down? i didnt do it not because i dare not.. but because i am afraid i wont die so easily.. i am depressed.. really depressed...