[ 思念 ]

思念

Today is the first day you are away.. 真得很不舍得，可是我又能怎样呢？Really hope that i can fly over to take care of you while you're there having your attachment.. Hahaz! BUT.... comes to think about it, if i go, you will probably be more troubled! Cause instead of me taking care of you, I think it would be you taking care of me..

I guess you can be better off over there ba.. Dont need to fetch me from work and send me home.. Dont need to talk with me till wee hours. Dont need to stay up late to study after talking to me.. Dont need to see my sickly face. Dont need to be bother by me.

BUT... i know you would rather do these than going there at this period.. Like what you said, 7 weeks will pass very fast de!!! I also thought it would be this way, but since yesterday, for dont know what reason, i felt that i am really EMO! when i think about you going there, my tears will just flow!! Just like now while i am typing this entry.. The WORST thing is - i CANT cry out loud, i CANT cry for long. Cause Mom's around at home.. Hais.. This is the WORST feeling i ever had. To withhold my tears..

Really WORRIED about about how you are over there. But after hearing what you said just now, seems like everything seems okie over at your side. After all, it's almost like your hometown.. You should be able to adapt fast since you're always alone in Singapore studying. Hais. I cant even concentrate on my work today! Looking at my hp every now and then, hoping to receive your call or even just a simple sms. And when i managed to get through you, you are either still busy or that you cant talk for long because of the costly bill..

Hais.. It really seems like HELL to me when it's just the FIRST day! Thank god my friend is with me when i go to work or return home, if not, i'll probably think even more and cry even more.. Never thought that the "Jessica" you know will be this EMO? hais. ya, i myself also never thought that i'll be like that. Cause it's WORSE than NS manz.. Plus, i'm really not well today.. Though the kids who usually will make my day cant even brighten my smile.. Hais! Like i said, i'm WEAK and really WEAK when it talks about BGR..

i dont know how the 6weeks and 6days going to be like.. BUT.... i know i cant be like that for the rest of the days.. 放心吧！我会好好照顾自己！别担心！我还有爸妈在我身边。你自己要珍重！i know you gonna scold me if you see this entry. Cause i am not well, yet i am sitting in front of the computer typing this entry. BUT, i really cant help. I need to write, need to let out. If not, i will keep crying. I just hate the feeling of falling sick and missing you so badly now... And i dont wish to cry till i fall asleep. Cause i know i will have a even more terrible headache the next day i wake up..

Work was quite okie today.. Except that learning opportunities has been shared due to the available of NYP students in our ward.. Hmmm, i just dont like it.. First day at KKH, still need some time to adapt.. Hopes everything turn out better tomorrow..

好吧, enough liao. I am going to sleep. Tomorrow, will be on afternoon shift. Hopes my EMO-ing and headache goes away tomorrow.. Will be sending prayers to you too! *Loves*