[ i broke another heart.... ]

yesterday updated too early.. so, there's many more exciting things that took place in the evening..

Calvan smsed me yesterday.. Thank god he didnt call me.. he asked if it's possible for me and him to be together.. then he ask if i like him.. well, i didnt really reject him lahz.. just tell him the truth that i only treat him as a friend.. we just know each other for less than 2 weeks, what LOVE do you think we'll have? anyway, i did lied to him.. in order to make his heart DIE, i told him i cant forget my ex boyfriend that's why i have no intention to start a new relationship..

well, that's not really true lahz.. who will bother to remember that ***! LOLX! i just used him as an EXCUSE to make my rejection more VALID! lolx! *so evil* like i said before, i dont like to be forced.. and i guess Calvan know it clearly.. i said before, " if you force me to do things i dont like, you will just make me dislike you more and will DEFINITELY be further away from me.." just like Mr "F".. he made me learnt my lesson.. like what Ben Ben told me before... even if you cherish the friendship with him, it's up to him to choose if he cherish you as a friend.. dont hestitate to lose this friend.. well, that was what i thought when i told Calvan that i only treat him as a friend..

after all, i have all along been there for him as a friend.. i even try to make things clear so as not to give him any false hope.. you have chosen this path, Calvan.. of losing a friend.. he even told me STUPID things like he wont fall for any girl anymore and will leave singapore for good.. why have you have to make things turn out this way? is it WORTHY? i guess NOT ba.. anyway, that's his decision.. i cant force him too.. but, i hope i didnt hurt him too deeper by speaking the truth! i'm looking for a LASTING relationship.. NOT one that has been built based on first sight love.. i guess understanding me deeper as a friend will helps if we were to progress further.. and what's that to hurry if you really like me? not say we'll going to die tomorrow.. hais!

well, it's DEFINITELY NOT a compliment that he's the THIRD heart i have broken this year.. first was De wei, then was Viknesh, then now Calvan.. they just make me feel that they are so desperate to have a girlfriend! Viknesh still not as bad as the other two.. at least he didnt force after trying once.. BUT.. will not having a girlfriend/ boyfriend sent the person to HELL? or will that affect your VALUE OF LIVING? i guess it WONT ba.. ultimately, they are just someone whom might brighten your days.. but i guess even without a gf / bf, friends can do the same too! just like Stella who made my day!:D

went to meet Stella yesterday at Northpoint mac.. or should say she came all the way to meet me.. and i had Chocolate Sundae to cheer up my DOWN day.. i just feel BAD despite not doing any wrong thing by speaking the truth.. we had a great time chatting and talking! seriously, not staying at home makes me feel much much better.. if not, i'll just be either watching tv, chanting, on the com or sleep! shared a lot with her and i guess we had FUN! :D

home today.. slept till almost 12 today.. had a chat with Ben Ben last night.. well, this guy.. despite being busy, he will never FAIL to suan me when he talk to me lahz.. i seriously think he forgets about this friend of his liao.. please lahz.. take some initiative to look for me can? only know how to ask me treat u makan and watch movie! hahaz! but he did cheer me up lahz although it's through suaning me.. thanks!:D i'm seriously losing my voice.. and seriously need to go to the doctor.. lolx.. lunch was with didi and mom.. well, i really hope to go out and take a breathe!

didi's out to celebrate Peiyi's birthday.. and i'm home alone with Mom.. it just awaken my guilty conscience when i'm alone at home with her.. hais! shall not think about the bad things.. Stella is out in SIM to talk about the exhibition.. hopes everything turns out good for her! jiayou le lala sister! :D make it HAPPEN okie! =]

seeing so many close friends being attached makes me so JEALOUS! how come they can have so much good fortunate to meet with the right guy? and what should i be doing? well, let's put this subject and pray about it ba.. will be back in TTSH next monday at a new ward 7B.. got to readapt again and build rapport with the staff! i just hate it! :(


P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEIYI!!! :D