[ maybe i am just being selfish.. ]

maybe i am just being selfish..

woke up today at 10am.. think my body's clock has been fixed to sleep at 12am and wake up at 10am.. cant sleep any further when the clock reaches 10am.. as usual.. was awaken by many friends's sms.. then i went to showered, prayed and cook my breakfast again.. then didi told me that Peiyi dropping by to meet him for school.. kind of feel so ENVY.. they are so SWEET! and it reminds me of ***.. i know i shouldnt be thinking about ***.. cause i know many people will feel like scolding me if they know about it..


well, i just cant help it either.. we used to have sweet moments too.. though he really make me cry like crazy and i curse him like mad.. but i cant simply forget those moments.. unless i lost my memory.. but what i can say is.. i dont wish to be in a relationship at the moment now.. cause, it has made me really TIRED and EXHAUSTED.. i want to rest and dont wish to have any commitment.. and at the same time, i can be selfish to hope that my close friends can stay single as well.. cause whenever they are attached or when they have someone in mind, they TOTALLY FORGETTEN about me.. this thing DONT happen one time.. but REPEATEDLY! last time was Stephanie(goh), then Catherine.. then Rachel.. then now comes to Gakkai close friends.. some are attached, some have someone they like.. and i have TOTALLY been FORGETTEN.. and even BESTIE also like that.. hais!

and when you guys pick a quarrel with your girlfriend/ boyfriend, i was REMEMBERED SUDDENLY.. do you guys know this makes me feel so MISERABLE? this is what chinese saying always says: "无事不登三宝殿".. and i guess it shows clearly ba.. i am HAPPY that i was the one you turned to when you are down.. BUT, why must i be forgetten when you are HAPPY? see the reason why i say i am selfish? i cant help it myself either.. if my friends dont do this to me, i wont be that selfish ba.. BUT, what to do? i still have to live with it.. i guess what Seeleng jie and Yonghwee are correct.. FRIENDS are MORE IMPORTANT than your so called girlfriends and boyfriends now... and i always say this..

hais.. i was just being random.. my MOOD is in a MESS now after talking to someone just now.. i dont wish to mention who is it and what is the content.. i was just being JEALOUS.. hais..

the above post in red was actually posted at about 12pm before i go out.. went to meet Xueyun at CCK Lot1.. then sat down with her and her friend at Long John.. chit-chat before heading back to Xueyun's house to let her get herself change.. chill at her place for awhile before heading to JP for dinner.. was supposed to meet Liyan after she finish work but end up she said she's meeting Simon.. so me and Xueyun heading to Mos Burger to have our dinner.. then we took MRT all the way to Tampines.. was just now ON TIME for the gongyo before the meeting starts..

today is a SIGNIFICANT day for SGI.. as it's the Mentor-and-disciple day.. after the gongyo was some sharings and updating of the upcoming activities.. then was the performance by the FD milkrun.. i'm so TOUCHED when i see so many of our chingay kids performing up there.. like what i told Stella and Xueyun.. be PROUD that Chingay'07 has arise the potential and passion in dance of the chingay kids.. see them dancing almost got my tears flowing.. then was the milkrun STOMP item by SD.. felt equally proud too! cause Jia Hao is the chief trainer!! kekez=] jiayou for the Milkrun performance on this coming sunday!! =]

headed home after the meeting.. very TIRED and had a MIXTURE of FEELINGS today! my MOOD is just BAD today!! although i tried putting on a smile.. got to know that one of my close friend is attached recently.. i should be feeling happy.. BUT, so coincidental.. i just talk about my friends being attached and neglected me..


to close friend: i hope that you keep to what you said.. and hope you wont turn out to be another one who will neglect me.. 我真心希望你会幸福！anything, can always come to me.. i'll be the MOST WILLING to lend a listening ear to you! ♥


TOMORROW: meeting up with CHINGAY PEEPS!! =]