[ I HATE THE FEELING OF BEING ACCUSED! ]

I HATE THE FEELING OF BEING ACCUSED!

morning shift.. meet Ninie at 6am to take mrt instead of taking bus.. early morning and i was feeling SO GIDDY!! and mom says i have really DARK eye-rings! my goodness! think too stress liao.. and early morning.. i'm having CHEST PAIN! and it really HURTS!!

early morning.. i didnt know what i did wrongly.. "A" REFUSED to talk to me.. i also dont know what did i do wrongly.. hais! work was MISERABLE with my friend pulling a long face.. but i still did what i supposed to do.. i try talking to her.. and at the same time not forgetting that my patients are my PRIORTIY! "D" came to ask me suddenly.. and asked if i did tell teacher that some of them badmouth about him.. i got a SHOCK of my life..

i have never know that people whom i treat as friends will DOUBT me.. and when the afternoon shift people come to work.. "F" asked to gather all students.. and they talked things out.. asking me about whether i did tell teacher anything.. and i found out "K" was the one who told "A" that i did mention her name in front of teacher.. my GOODNESS! i just dont wish to use the B**** word on you.. being more senior than us, i'm sure you would know how to differeniate BLACK and WHITE, RIGHT and WRONG am i right? if i want to bad mouth about anyone in my group, do you think i will GAIN any BENEFITS? do you think i will mention "A"'s name with your presence? i'm not very experienced in anything.. BUT, i am DEFINITELY not NUTS!

if i want to bad mouth, i will of cause get teacher to speak to me in private.. i am NOT STUPID okie! and please! i DONT gain any benefits in doing this.. maybe you will gain something if you were to spoil my relation with them.. you gain friends, and people will respect you in terms of your age! ARGH! i CRIED.. CRIED that i am stupid to treat them as friends and i was AGAIN and AGAIN DOUBT by you people.. i dont know what i should say to DEFENCE myself.. BUT, i just feel BAD.. and HATES the feeling of being ACCUSED!

although things has been settled, i still feel MISERABLE!! and my chest pain got WORSE because of that.. anyone can tell me what i should do? what's wrong in treating people NICE? what's wrong in sparing a thought for others? i am WRONG.. cause all these i did, did not gain any respect and friendship.. BUT, MISUNDERSTANDINGS, and increase the CHANCE of people CLIMBING over my head and my chance of being ACCUSED!

from today, i will STOP being NICE.......