[ illusion filled my life!! ]
sunday again.. a bit sianz of the routinue of monday to sunday.. then sunday to another monday.. yupz.. seriously sick.. sick of the routine type of life.. cant it be a bit more flexible?? yupz.. starting from tomorrow.. it's revision week.. Jessica Loh, endure through the one more pathetic week and you will get to REST!!
just had my breakfast.. i know it's quite late huh.. but that's normal on sundays.. i usually sleep till at least 10plus.. my eyes need to rest real a lot nowadays.. during weekdays.. i'll sleep as early as 9pm.. ya.. i cry a lot.. and that's why last time people used to call me crybaby.. and that's why my eyes are tired.. plus all the lectures and stuff.. it's exhausting!! tomorrow onwards, no more PIE class, no more SW as well.. so......... it's all on nursing studies and bioscience.. i will go crazy i think.. continue mugging..
couldnt finish my breakfast.. my favourite fishball gui tiao.. i only managed to finish half a bowl of it.. ya.. my appetite is getting from bad to worse.. i can dont eat yet i go to the toilet.. as like i can dont drink yet i still can urinate.. Jessica Loh's immune system is just so different from the rest.. something is wrong.. ya.. just dont feel like eating.. not that i'm wont get hungry.. sometimes i'll get really hungry that my stomach makes noise.. but when i bought the food, after one mouth or two of it, i just feel like puking naturally.. i also dont know what went wrong.. is it because i got the mindset in my sub conscious mind that i want to loss weight??
i have no idea.. no idea of what's happening around me.. blockage somehow... tomorrow and tuesday.. got meeting to attend somemore.. haiz.. i'll be real tired.. cause school only ends at 5pm.. i have no chance to go back and take a shower and change my uniform out.. just have to go straight from school.. and it's in the west area somemore.. sure die.. predicting i'll be only home after 11pm.. oh man!! how to do revision like that?? as for wednesday and thursday, i'll end school at 5pm as well..
it's no longer like secondary school.. i skipped 3 weeks of school just to study for my o'level.. end up.. the results still sucks like dont know what.. it's because of relationship.. mom is right.. i should have listen to you.. relationship turns my life upside down.. and filled my life with illusion.. stop DAY-DREAMING le Jessica Loh.. you have enough of all these shit!! what you want is ETERNAL HAPPINESS.. NOT SHORT-TERM HAPPINESS.. dont get satisfied so easily over all the SHORT-TERM HAPPINESS.. it will makes you go HAY-WIRED...
ya.. when you fall, learn the pain and stand on your feets again.. I WILL MAKE YOU REGRET.. REGRET for your ENTIRE LIFE.. and i'm going to leave my hands off your life.. it's got nothing to do with me.. PEACE.. is all i asked for.. just so simple.. i'm just a SIMPLE girl who's asking for a SIMPLE LIFE!! no more WEEPING.. no more TEARING.. no more CRYING.. soon.. my blood will clot.. and no more BLEEDING... "HEAL the world, make it a better day, for you and for me and the entire human race..." just a sudden.. thought of this song by MICHAEL JACKSON..
yupz.. i'm going for a shower now.. and start my mugging!!!! *mugging*
just finished watching "wei xiao pasta".. i cried.. so touching!! yupz.. true love is forever not smooth sailing.. it will haunt your entire life.. making you really exhausted and tired.. STOP all the unneccsary nonsense!! i want to CONCENTRATEeeeeeeeeeeee.........
[ GIVING UP doesnt mean you're WEAK. it only means that you're STRONG enough to LET GO!! ]
just wanna do some copyright stuff.. saw this from a friend's blog.. he feels how i am feeling now.......
Why have you changed so much?
Where is the "you" that i've first knew ?
Who are you now?
When will you really be at your happiest?
What can i do now?
How will our future be?
perhaps for me, i could only look back.
always thinking of the things we did together.
why we cried together
why we laugh together.
it is very disheartening to know that the one you loved,
has somehow perished?
i could still feel ur touch,
remember the words u said.
But how much are u for me?
maybe thanks for ur cold shoulder all these while?
the saddest feeling is that u know even if u are dead today,
she wont even know or bother to know.
because no matter what u have done for her,
they are all taken for granted and forgotten.
saddening right?? i admire his courage.. he dared to write out how he feel.. this is how i am feeling now......
harbour happy thoughts than to think of how to be happy.
Being happy and Being contented is two different Thing.
Many of us are happy yet uncontented.
and when ure uncontented, ur happiness is not fully manifested.
when ure contented, happiness comes flowing like water.
we often look and search too far and neglect about the ones around us.
"when you love someone too deeply theres bound to be agony. "
these are all written by the same friend of mine..... really true right?
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Saturday, June 09, 2007
[ let e BRAIN do e THINKING, NOT e HEART ANYMORE!! ]
[ let e BRAIN do e THINKING, NOT e HEART ANYMORE!! ]~*
saturday... yupz.. weekends has come.. which means the next weekdays will come soon.. *sobx* wakey quite early today.. i set my alarm to 9am.. but woke up many times.. first was because mom woke up at 5.15 for work.. second round was because dad woke up for work.. then comes the third time.. didi woke up at 8am for his soccer training.. yupz.. after all, i'm just trying to say it's NOISE POLLUTION that wakes me up.. was already fully awake at 8.30am.. though i just feel like lying down till 9am..
then... i brushed my teeth as usual.. rationale people?? it's to make sure my mouth and teeth stay clean and fresh.. hahaz.. sound like nursing studies test question.. heez.. my mood is quite good actually AT FIRST.. but i just love making myself sadden by things i'm not supposed to hear.. and not supposed to see.. yupz.. sadden because i'm just want to find out what happened to what he said yesterday.. sound chim.. but it's okie.. it's for me to know NOT for you to find out.. it's her.. i knew it.. i just dont want my instinct to make the conclusion for me.. but.. true enough.. my instinct is RIGHT..
i cried.. cried really badly in front of the computer... and luckily.. no one is at home.. if not, i'll end up undergoing investigation by my parents and brother.. i sms Nad immediately.. i told her.. i just feel like killing myself.. for being such a fool.. for comforting and encouraging him when he actually worries and got affected so much about the incident that happens.. end up, the person is her.. you made her angry by doing something wrong.. and worried so much how she's feeling.. yupz.. true.. you must be concern for your friends whom you cherish.. the EXTRAs... just let it be transparent then...
Jessica Loh, why must you make youself sound so PITIFUL?? why must you make yourself sound so STUPID?? where's the IGNORANCE you should have?? Nad, you're right!! i should have listen to you... and stop all the things i'm doing for him.. and stop all the unneccessary concern for him.. cause.. it's not worthwhile.. it's not being appreciated..
hmmm... after which.. i left house with that saddening feeling to meet ramlan and fara for the project work.. supposed to meet at 11am at Jurong East mrt control.. and i'm like 20mins early.. ramlan reached 10mins later than me.. and fara.. she's late.. for more than 30mins.. end up.. ramlan and me went JE Entertainment Centre's Mac to eat.. i want to eat big breakfast so badly.. but.. too bad.. ramlan got the last share.. so.. i ate Mcspicy meal instead.. like so long never eat it liao.. always eat Mcnuggets meal..
at 11.30am.. our dear fara finally appear.. so the 3 of us went to JE library instead.. cause Nad, Farhan, Hazwan, Rahmah, Izzah and Siti small is there.. went to catch some fun.. and that cute fara.. she smuggled coke into library.. wahahaz.. end up, we cant do anything.. cause fara's laptop cant read my cd.. i stored all the information in Microsoft Word Processor.. and it's like not all laptop has that program.. haiz.. what a waste of the trip..
they went to have long john.. and again.. as usual.. Nad and Farhan have to listen to my grumbles.. getting sick of it huh.. ears bleeding everyday.. i also very sianz.. *tired* ... went to queue up with Farhan to buy food for Nad and himself..Farhan asked me a question.. "have you thought of asking him if he really likes you?" well. i thought of actually.. but i dont think it's neccessary now already.. he's the one who let me go.. so be it ba!! and Nad... quarrelled with her boyfriend again.. what the hell!! got such a good girlfriend still dont know how to cherish.. are you sure you own a brain??
haiz.. i'm really sadden to see Nad emo.. i guess Farhan feel the same as well?? we took 51 to Ayer Rajah CC for the interact club's CIP.. yupz.. i just tagged along for fun.. we are late.. cause waited for Izzah and small Siti to buy things.. while waiting patiently for the bus to come.. Vin called Hazwan.. and that stupid Hazwan told Vin that our bus broke down.. wahahaz.. think Vin only born yesterday.. will believe his words.. STUPID.. it just takes us not more than 10mins to reach our destination.. and we are late..
yupz.. Izzah and Fara tagged along too.. just for the fun of it.. our first job - to give out flyers to neighbouring estate.. Farhan, Nad and Hazwan were given the honour.. but i just tagged along.. kpo kpo a bit.. luckily i went with them.. mostly the eldery people are chinese spoken.. so i saved them!! hahaz.. after which i also dont know how i managed to spend the 4hours time in that cc.. just do some carrying of chairs at the end of the eye screening session, and attended talks.. and gossip a bit here and there.. and crazy us (Farhan, Nad, Hazwan and me) start taking pictures here and there..
i kind of dislike the treasury of the Interact club.. she sound bossy.. yupz.. but quite friendly actually.. luckily i'm out there with my classmates.. if i'm alone at home, i also dont know what will i do to hurt myself.. and that will another STUPID thing... after the CIP session was over, me, Nad and Farhan went to beach road.. Farhan wants to get a pair of new shoes for school.. and my naggy mom called again.. horning me again as usual.. well.. Nad and me got the same thinking.. we arent young anymore moms.... at least be glad that we dont crave for drugs, we dont smoke and we dont got clubbing.. just a bunch of cute sweet girls who love some shopping and sharing of secrets.. hahaz.. be grateful for that moms!!!
after that.. we walked to bugis.. in the midst of walking.. we chatted our way through.. i told Nad and Han.. i want to SLIM DOWN.. i've been saying that for so long.. it's time for REAL ACTION.. yupz.. i want to make those heartless idiots regret.. regret for all the things you have done to turn me into the me today.. reassure.. you will regret for your entire life!! *evil laugh*
i want to take a bus home from there.. and thanks Farhan and Nad.. it's so sweet of u guys to wait for the bus with me!!LOVE YOU GUYS the MOST!! yupz.. so much unnecessary events happened today.. and we end up not getting any time and chance to study.. and.. i'll be locked at home during weekends.. yee!! it's GROUND at home.. tomorrow.. i'll stay home to study.. *guai guai* a bit..
yupz.. want to get online just now to send Fara the information for the project.. and my hands get itchy.. went to look at his msn nick.. ya.. it got me sadden AGAIN.. i'm just easily AFFECTED.. "iloveyoursmile".. that was his msn nick.. he used to say this to me.. i want to bluff myself that it's refering to me.. but somehow.. I CANT do it!! my instinct tells me.. it's HER again.. ya.. my love rival.. thanks for taking him away from me.. maybe what xueyun da jie say is right.. gohonzon just gave you a hint before you guys even progress to another stage.. he's not your MR RIGHT.. that's what da jie says.. yupz.. i should listen to her.. let my brain do the thinking and not my heart anymore..
from tonight onwards.. i'm going to work towards my goal.. study well.. and SLIM DOWN.. my short term goal.. I'm COMING!!! off the sleep.. my eyes are tired...........
saturday... yupz.. weekends has come.. which means the next weekdays will come soon.. *sobx* wakey quite early today.. i set my alarm to 9am.. but woke up many times.. first was because mom woke up at 5.15 for work.. second round was because dad woke up for work.. then comes the third time.. didi woke up at 8am for his soccer training.. yupz.. after all, i'm just trying to say it's NOISE POLLUTION that wakes me up.. was already fully awake at 8.30am.. though i just feel like lying down till 9am..
then... i brushed my teeth as usual.. rationale people?? it's to make sure my mouth and teeth stay clean and fresh.. hahaz.. sound like nursing studies test question.. heez.. my mood is quite good actually AT FIRST.. but i just love making myself sadden by things i'm not supposed to hear.. and not supposed to see.. yupz.. sadden because i'm just want to find out what happened to what he said yesterday.. sound chim.. but it's okie.. it's for me to know NOT for you to find out.. it's her.. i knew it.. i just dont want my instinct to make the conclusion for me.. but.. true enough.. my instinct is RIGHT..
i cried.. cried really badly in front of the computer... and luckily.. no one is at home.. if not, i'll end up undergoing investigation by my parents and brother.. i sms Nad immediately.. i told her.. i just feel like killing myself.. for being such a fool.. for comforting and encouraging him when he actually worries and got affected so much about the incident that happens.. end up, the person is her.. you made her angry by doing something wrong.. and worried so much how she's feeling.. yupz.. true.. you must be concern for your friends whom you cherish.. the EXTRAs... just let it be transparent then...
Jessica Loh, why must you make youself sound so PITIFUL?? why must you make yourself sound so STUPID?? where's the IGNORANCE you should have?? Nad, you're right!! i should have listen to you... and stop all the things i'm doing for him.. and stop all the unneccessary concern for him.. cause.. it's not worthwhile.. it's not being appreciated..
hmmm... after which.. i left house with that saddening feeling to meet ramlan and fara for the project work.. supposed to meet at 11am at Jurong East mrt control.. and i'm like 20mins early.. ramlan reached 10mins later than me.. and fara.. she's late.. for more than 30mins.. end up.. ramlan and me went JE Entertainment Centre's Mac to eat.. i want to eat big breakfast so badly.. but.. too bad.. ramlan got the last share.. so.. i ate Mcspicy meal instead.. like so long never eat it liao.. always eat Mcnuggets meal..
at 11.30am.. our dear fara finally appear.. so the 3 of us went to JE library instead.. cause Nad, Farhan, Hazwan, Rahmah, Izzah and Siti small is there.. went to catch some fun.. and that cute fara.. she smuggled coke into library.. wahahaz.. end up, we cant do anything.. cause fara's laptop cant read my cd.. i stored all the information in Microsoft Word Processor.. and it's like not all laptop has that program.. haiz.. what a waste of the trip..
they went to have long john.. and again.. as usual.. Nad and Farhan have to listen to my grumbles.. getting sick of it huh.. ears bleeding everyday.. i also very sianz.. *tired* ... went to queue up with Farhan to buy food for Nad and himself..Farhan asked me a question.. "have you thought of asking him if he really likes you?" well. i thought of actually.. but i dont think it's neccessary now already.. he's the one who let me go.. so be it ba!! and Nad... quarrelled with her boyfriend again.. what the hell!! got such a good girlfriend still dont know how to cherish.. are you sure you own a brain??
haiz.. i'm really sadden to see Nad emo.. i guess Farhan feel the same as well?? we took 51 to Ayer Rajah CC for the interact club's CIP.. yupz.. i just tagged along for fun.. we are late.. cause waited for Izzah and small Siti to buy things.. while waiting patiently for the bus to come.. Vin called Hazwan.. and that stupid Hazwan told Vin that our bus broke down.. wahahaz.. think Vin only born yesterday.. will believe his words.. STUPID.. it just takes us not more than 10mins to reach our destination.. and we are late..
yupz.. Izzah and Fara tagged along too.. just for the fun of it.. our first job - to give out flyers to neighbouring estate.. Farhan, Nad and Hazwan were given the honour.. but i just tagged along.. kpo kpo a bit.. luckily i went with them.. mostly the eldery people are chinese spoken.. so i saved them!! hahaz.. after which i also dont know how i managed to spend the 4hours time in that cc.. just do some carrying of chairs at the end of the eye screening session, and attended talks.. and gossip a bit here and there.. and crazy us (Farhan, Nad, Hazwan and me) start taking pictures here and there..
i kind of dislike the treasury of the Interact club.. she sound bossy.. yupz.. but quite friendly actually.. luckily i'm out there with my classmates.. if i'm alone at home, i also dont know what will i do to hurt myself.. and that will another STUPID thing... after the CIP session was over, me, Nad and Farhan went to beach road.. Farhan wants to get a pair of new shoes for school.. and my naggy mom called again.. horning me again as usual.. well.. Nad and me got the same thinking.. we arent young anymore moms.... at least be glad that we dont crave for drugs, we dont smoke and we dont got clubbing.. just a bunch of cute sweet girls who love some shopping and sharing of secrets.. hahaz.. be grateful for that moms!!!
after that.. we walked to bugis.. in the midst of walking.. we chatted our way through.. i told Nad and Han.. i want to SLIM DOWN.. i've been saying that for so long.. it's time for REAL ACTION.. yupz.. i want to make those heartless idiots regret.. regret for all the things you have done to turn me into the me today.. reassure.. you will regret for your entire life!! *evil laugh*
i want to take a bus home from there.. and thanks Farhan and Nad.. it's so sweet of u guys to wait for the bus with me!!LOVE YOU GUYS the MOST!! yupz.. so much unnecessary events happened today.. and we end up not getting any time and chance to study.. and.. i'll be locked at home during weekends.. yee!! it's GROUND at home.. tomorrow.. i'll stay home to study.. *guai guai* a bit..
yupz.. want to get online just now to send Fara the information for the project.. and my hands get itchy.. went to look at his msn nick.. ya.. it got me sadden AGAIN.. i'm just easily AFFECTED.. "iloveyoursmile".. that was his msn nick.. he used to say this to me.. i want to bluff myself that it's refering to me.. but somehow.. I CANT do it!! my instinct tells me.. it's HER again.. ya.. my love rival.. thanks for taking him away from me.. maybe what xueyun da jie say is right.. gohonzon just gave you a hint before you guys even progress to another stage.. he's not your MR RIGHT.. that's what da jie says.. yupz.. i should listen to her.. let my brain do the thinking and not my heart anymore..
from tonight onwards.. i'm going to work towards my goal.. study well.. and SLIM DOWN.. my short term goal.. I'm COMING!!! off the sleep.. my eyes are tired...........
Friday, June 08, 2007
[ Maria ave Maria!! ]
[ Maria ave Maria!! ]
it's friday.. counting down.. 9 more days to final exams.. oh no!! Jessica Loh, you're running of time!! ya.. i slept at 11plus yesterday.. and today morning.. i'm just like a zombie.. i'm so TIRED.. physically and psychiologically... had our nursing studies at lab 29 today.. and got to know our nursing studies combined results for phase test 1, class test 1 and phase test 2... i got 76.. it's an B... just 4marks away from A.. so.. i just need to put in MORE efforts in my final year to attain an A.. can de!! u can do it, Jess!!
influenced by 200 pounds beauty.. practically everyone in my class are now crazy over the song : "Maria"... everywhere you go.. you will hear people singing : "Maria ave Maria....." *addicted*... hohoho.. thanks to me.. bluetooth here bluetooth there.. my mood is spoilt today.. and almost everyday without fail.. what the hell??!?? and this time round.. by a close friend.. i dont want to mention names.. it's not nice.. a bunch of us were late for lesson after the 10mins break given by Mdm Qian.. and that asshole say : "cher, punish them lahz".. and i shouted across the class: " keep your comments to yourself..." for the first time, i have such reaction.. Mdm Qian actually stared at me with that shocking look..
really disappointed.. that phrase of words come out from someone i'm quite close to.. what's wrong with your brain?? yupz.. sometimes, the way you speaks tells others how mature you are.. bloody shit!!!!! well.. i'm in a bad mood.. pms-ing.... ARGH!~ my nerves just tighten so easily nowadays.. i cant control my temper, my emotions.. my world is upside down now!!!!
after which.. it's bioscience lesson.. Ms Tan went through the test paper with us.. ya.. at that very moment, i'm still telling myself.. how did i got an A?? so ridiculous!!! my hands are itchy.. really feel like sms-ing him.. but.. i held back... just trying not to be so soft-hearted.. but i cant help.. to worry.. and to think of his well-being.. went back together with hazel today.. finally got someone go to tampines with me.. this whole week.. i go back everyday alone sia.. cause.. Nad and Farhan got their interact club things on.. well.. had a great talk with Hazel.. she's really nice.. well.. our subject just cant be lack of that "problem".. as usual lahz huh..
went home quite early today.. mom bought me sushi.. *yum yum*... after which.. i got my hair dried and went to sleep.. *oink* just tired.. lack of sleep.. *yawn* .. wakey.. and saw him online.. didnt want to talk to him actually.. but saw his msn nick.. was pretty worried.. and TALKED to him.. yupz.. just want him to live happily.. something about archery happened again.. ya.. he will just get worked up over archery stuff only.. and he made his close friend angry.. might be her.. who knows?!?
you're worried and hope that friend of yours wont be angry anymore.. when you do this to me, when you hurted me, have you spare a thought for me?? do you even remembered what you said and what you promised?? "i wont want to hurt you... if you're sad, i'll be the first to cry..etc".. this is all bull shit now.. it's just a blank cheque that will never meet.. i'm crying.. tears flow not only from my eyes.. but from my heart.. do you know it??
well.. i'm just too SOFT-HEARTED.. i know it clearly.. that can be a strength as well as a weakness.. that's why i easily bullied.. even pinwen also say that.. so does him.. but.. somehow, human beings are just too forgetful.. and tends to give lots of empty promises.. well.. i'm in my lala land.. with all the empty promises surrounded..
how come i forgive people so easily?? even when they stabbed me deep into my heart.. the person who got my heart melted was the one who make it bleed profusely now.. i want to pick myself up once again.. but along this way.. i tripped and fall badly.. especially this time round.. i never want my life to be disturbed.. want to concentrate fully.. but.. you came into my simple life.. and get my frozen heart melted.. and thanks to you.. i do enjoy short term happiness..but now.. my life is no longer peaceful.. many distraction and disturbance... till i think it's getting out of my hands, out of my control.. thanks huh..
holidays... please come faster.. after which.. i wont see you.. till 3months later.. and i'll miss my classmates i guess.. cause.. my best buds wont be in e same hospital attachment as me i guess... haiz.. well.. BREAK is all i need!!! let me SCREAM and SHOUT!!!~
it's friday.. counting down.. 9 more days to final exams.. oh no!! Jessica Loh, you're running of time!! ya.. i slept at 11plus yesterday.. and today morning.. i'm just like a zombie.. i'm so TIRED.. physically and psychiologically... had our nursing studies at lab 29 today.. and got to know our nursing studies combined results for phase test 1, class test 1 and phase test 2... i got 76.. it's an B... just 4marks away from A.. so.. i just need to put in MORE efforts in my final year to attain an A.. can de!! u can do it, Jess!!
influenced by 200 pounds beauty.. practically everyone in my class are now crazy over the song : "Maria"... everywhere you go.. you will hear people singing : "Maria ave Maria....." *addicted*... hohoho.. thanks to me.. bluetooth here bluetooth there.. my mood is spoilt today.. and almost everyday without fail.. what the hell??!?? and this time round.. by a close friend.. i dont want to mention names.. it's not nice.. a bunch of us were late for lesson after the 10mins break given by Mdm Qian.. and that asshole say : "cher, punish them lahz".. and i shouted across the class: " keep your comments to yourself..." for the first time, i have such reaction.. Mdm Qian actually stared at me with that shocking look..
really disappointed.. that phrase of words come out from someone i'm quite close to.. what's wrong with your brain?? yupz.. sometimes, the way you speaks tells others how mature you are.. bloody shit!!!!! well.. i'm in a bad mood.. pms-ing.... ARGH!~ my nerves just tighten so easily nowadays.. i cant control my temper, my emotions.. my world is upside down now!!!!
after which.. it's bioscience lesson.. Ms Tan went through the test paper with us.. ya.. at that very moment, i'm still telling myself.. how did i got an A?? so ridiculous!!! my hands are itchy.. really feel like sms-ing him.. but.. i held back... just trying not to be so soft-hearted.. but i cant help.. to worry.. and to think of his well-being.. went back together with hazel today.. finally got someone go to tampines with me.. this whole week.. i go back everyday alone sia.. cause.. Nad and Farhan got their interact club things on.. well.. had a great talk with Hazel.. she's really nice.. well.. our subject just cant be lack of that "problem".. as usual lahz huh..
went home quite early today.. mom bought me sushi.. *yum yum*... after which.. i got my hair dried and went to sleep.. *oink* just tired.. lack of sleep.. *yawn* .. wakey.. and saw him online.. didnt want to talk to him actually.. but saw his msn nick.. was pretty worried.. and TALKED to him.. yupz.. just want him to live happily.. something about archery happened again.. ya.. he will just get worked up over archery stuff only.. and he made his close friend angry.. might be her.. who knows?!?
you're worried and hope that friend of yours wont be angry anymore.. when you do this to me, when you hurted me, have you spare a thought for me?? do you even remembered what you said and what you promised?? "i wont want to hurt you... if you're sad, i'll be the first to cry..etc".. this is all bull shit now.. it's just a blank cheque that will never meet.. i'm crying.. tears flow not only from my eyes.. but from my heart.. do you know it??
well.. i'm just too SOFT-HEARTED.. i know it clearly.. that can be a strength as well as a weakness.. that's why i easily bullied.. even pinwen also say that.. so does him.. but.. somehow, human beings are just too forgetful.. and tends to give lots of empty promises.. well.. i'm in my lala land.. with all the empty promises surrounded..
how come i forgive people so easily?? even when they stabbed me deep into my heart.. the person who got my heart melted was the one who make it bleed profusely now.. i want to pick myself up once again.. but along this way.. i tripped and fall badly.. especially this time round.. i never want my life to be disturbed.. want to concentrate fully.. but.. you came into my simple life.. and get my frozen heart melted.. and thanks to you.. i do enjoy short term happiness..but now.. my life is no longer peaceful.. many distraction and disturbance... till i think it's getting out of my hands, out of my control.. thanks huh..
holidays... please come faster.. after which.. i wont see you.. till 3months later.. and i'll miss my classmates i guess.. cause.. my best buds wont be in e same hospital attachment as me i guess... haiz.. well.. BREAK is all i need!!! let me SCREAM and SHOUT!!!~
Thursday, June 07, 2007
[ hakuna matata!!! ]
[ hakuna matata!!! ]
it's thursday.. yupz.. so fast.. 1 week coming to an end le.. and.. countdowning to my exams..
early morning waking up.. saw Hazel's sms.. ya.. she told me she saw yuan yesterday near her house.. this sick guy was absent from school but he went for archery shoot.. somemore till 10plus still outside.. i really asked Hazel lots of questions about him.. till Hazel gets curious and feel weird how come i dont know anything about him and what's happening to him.. ya.. i told Hazel that both of us arent really on talking term now.. just even worse than hi-and-bye friends.. things are getting out of hands.. haiz..
Hazel really gets very worked up towards the way he treats me.. everyone around me keep saying that he's heartless.. and say that i did so much things for him yet what i get in return it's this kind of treatment.. well.. it's okie.. i dont ask for any return when i help anyone.. sound so noble right?? but painful de is myself.. it's okie.. i still think that his well-being is the most important.. more important than anything.. he happy think i'll live happier too..
early morning.. something just turn my mood upside down... yupz.. imagine you have put in your heart and soul to help someone copy notes when the person is absent.. it's okie not to say thank you.. but please.. dont say anything that hurts someone's feelings.. yupz.. that was what i faced.. thanks huh.. make myself sound as though i'm the biggest FOOL on earth..
hmmm.. today.. we simply flood ourselves with bioscience.. Ms Tan continued her lessons on microbiology.. yupz.. i just cannot concentrate after the early morning incident.. was talking to Farhan in the midst of Ms Tan's lesson when Ms Tan was explaining the "card game" to the class.. i weeped all of a sudden... and so unluckily.. Ms Tan saw it.. she came to me and asked if i'm okie.. i told her i'm alright.. that's the only limit i can say.. i am definitely not okie..
after bioscience lesson.. we have our very last PIE lesson with Ms Hazel Tay.. and........ we watched 200pounds beauty!!!! ya.. it's a korean movie with english subtitles.. pretty funny.. it really cheers up my mood at first.. but as it goes by.. it become more saddening.. and i cried.. cried really badly.. ya.. close friends of mine should know that i'm the super emotional type.. i cried not just because the movie is touching lahz.. but because it really sound like me..
the main actor really makes the main actress so upset.. she really did lots of things because of him.. he was her point of living.. without him, her life will just be like plain water.. tasteless and meaningless.. because of him, she MIA for a year just for the plastic surgery.. touching huh!! havent watch it?? better go rent the disc.. you will have NO REGRETS!!! "Hakuna Matata" was the quote inside Lion King.. and it's the main actress Kang Hanna's favourite in the movie also.. It means no worries for the rest of the days.. cute right??
my eyes are really red.. and i think i shocked the whole class with my emotional side of me.. ya.. i'm still adapting to the problem... before i left the class, Ms Tay came up to me.. and asked if i'm okie.. ya.. all i can say is that i'm okie.. and she gave me a hug.. thanks for that Ms Tay.. you're really a nice teacher.. had thousand island chicken rice today.. as usual.. cannot finish the food.. and i simply dont taste anything while eating it.. yupz.. i just cant control my emotions.. i cant help.. i do feel pressurized too..
last friday.. when the incident takes place.. i almost feel like looking for Mdm Qian and tell her i want to atreat from the course.. so stupid of me to think this way right?? those friends who see this, i know you guys feel like killing me.. but i cant help by thinking negatively!!!
3-5pm.. we had another bioscience lesson again.. ya.. thursday is all bioscience lesson.. Ms Tan told us our bioscience test 2 results.. she asked us one by one to go take a look at the marks.. yupz.. this time round i did slightly better than the first test.. first test was 38.5/50.. it's a B.. now is 40/50.. an A.. hahaz.. say truthfully.. for those have saw my previous entries of my blog.. you guys should know i cannot concentrate that day when i was studying for the bioscience test 2.. lolx.. this is call heng.. i can pass and get A somemore.. actually when i first saw the test script.. i got no confidence at all.. just blind my way through based on memory.. and praying very hard that i can pass.. YES!!! I MADE IT!!
tired.. really tired.. didnt see him around during ITE Care session.. think he's out for competition or something ba.. he wont be in school tomorrow also.. having his outpatient appointment after the collapse incident in school.. well.. just praying hard that he will be okie.. am talking to Xueyun now.. she knew what happened to me and him liao.. and she's cursing and scolding like dont know what.. sorry da jie.. because of me, you create kou ye.. bad karma huh... er jie also know part of it liao.. well.. what to do?? bad news spread faster than good ones..
i think i really got lots of people to thank.. xueyun da jie, yvonne er jie, eunice jie jie, carys, willie, pinwen, siyi..... and from school side.. Nad, Farhan, Vin, Hazel.. thanks guys.. thanks for comforting me when i really need to.. thanks a lot.. because of you guys, i'll work harder!!! JIAYOU!~
it's thursday.. yupz.. so fast.. 1 week coming to an end le.. and.. countdowning to my exams..
early morning waking up.. saw Hazel's sms.. ya.. she told me she saw yuan yesterday near her house.. this sick guy was absent from school but he went for archery shoot.. somemore till 10plus still outside.. i really asked Hazel lots of questions about him.. till Hazel gets curious and feel weird how come i dont know anything about him and what's happening to him.. ya.. i told Hazel that both of us arent really on talking term now.. just even worse than hi-and-bye friends.. things are getting out of hands.. haiz..
Hazel really gets very worked up towards the way he treats me.. everyone around me keep saying that he's heartless.. and say that i did so much things for him yet what i get in return it's this kind of treatment.. well.. it's okie.. i dont ask for any return when i help anyone.. sound so noble right?? but painful de is myself.. it's okie.. i still think that his well-being is the most important.. more important than anything.. he happy think i'll live happier too..
early morning.. something just turn my mood upside down... yupz.. imagine you have put in your heart and soul to help someone copy notes when the person is absent.. it's okie not to say thank you.. but please.. dont say anything that hurts someone's feelings.. yupz.. that was what i faced.. thanks huh.. make myself sound as though i'm the biggest FOOL on earth..
hmmm.. today.. we simply flood ourselves with bioscience.. Ms Tan continued her lessons on microbiology.. yupz.. i just cannot concentrate after the early morning incident.. was talking to Farhan in the midst of Ms Tan's lesson when Ms Tan was explaining the "card game" to the class.. i weeped all of a sudden... and so unluckily.. Ms Tan saw it.. she came to me and asked if i'm okie.. i told her i'm alright.. that's the only limit i can say.. i am definitely not okie..
after bioscience lesson.. we have our very last PIE lesson with Ms Hazel Tay.. and........ we watched 200pounds beauty!!!! ya.. it's a korean movie with english subtitles.. pretty funny.. it really cheers up my mood at first.. but as it goes by.. it become more saddening.. and i cried.. cried really badly.. ya.. close friends of mine should know that i'm the super emotional type.. i cried not just because the movie is touching lahz.. but because it really sound like me..
the main actor really makes the main actress so upset.. she really did lots of things because of him.. he was her point of living.. without him, her life will just be like plain water.. tasteless and meaningless.. because of him, she MIA for a year just for the plastic surgery.. touching huh!! havent watch it?? better go rent the disc.. you will have NO REGRETS!!! "Hakuna Matata" was the quote inside Lion King.. and it's the main actress Kang Hanna's favourite in the movie also.. It means no worries for the rest of the days.. cute right??
my eyes are really red.. and i think i shocked the whole class with my emotional side of me.. ya.. i'm still adapting to the problem... before i left the class, Ms Tay came up to me.. and asked if i'm okie.. ya.. all i can say is that i'm okie.. and she gave me a hug.. thanks for that Ms Tay.. you're really a nice teacher.. had thousand island chicken rice today.. as usual.. cannot finish the food.. and i simply dont taste anything while eating it.. yupz.. i just cant control my emotions.. i cant help.. i do feel pressurized too..
last friday.. when the incident takes place.. i almost feel like looking for Mdm Qian and tell her i want to atreat from the course.. so stupid of me to think this way right?? those friends who see this, i know you guys feel like killing me.. but i cant help by thinking negatively!!!
3-5pm.. we had another bioscience lesson again.. ya.. thursday is all bioscience lesson.. Ms Tan told us our bioscience test 2 results.. she asked us one by one to go take a look at the marks.. yupz.. this time round i did slightly better than the first test.. first test was 38.5/50.. it's a B.. now is 40/50.. an A.. hahaz.. say truthfully.. for those have saw my previous entries of my blog.. you guys should know i cannot concentrate that day when i was studying for the bioscience test 2.. lolx.. this is call heng.. i can pass and get A somemore.. actually when i first saw the test script.. i got no confidence at all.. just blind my way through based on memory.. and praying very hard that i can pass.. YES!!! I MADE IT!!
tired.. really tired.. didnt see him around during ITE Care session.. think he's out for competition or something ba.. he wont be in school tomorrow also.. having his outpatient appointment after the collapse incident in school.. well.. just praying hard that he will be okie.. am talking to Xueyun now.. she knew what happened to me and him liao.. and she's cursing and scolding like dont know what.. sorry da jie.. because of me, you create kou ye.. bad karma huh... er jie also know part of it liao.. well.. what to do?? bad news spread faster than good ones..
i think i really got lots of people to thank.. xueyun da jie, yvonne er jie, eunice jie jie, carys, willie, pinwen, siyi..... and from school side.. Nad, Farhan, Vin, Hazel.. thanks guys.. thanks for comforting me when i really need to.. thanks a lot.. because of you guys, i'll work harder!!! JIAYOU!~
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
[ black and white ]
black and white
well.. it's wednesday.. so fast.. about 8weeks has passed.. yupz.. and i'm gonna be having my revision week next week to prepare myself for my exams.. yupz.. it's this sickening big word that turn my life upside down.. EXAMS... well.. i know it's time i do something to my studies.. i'm been doing quite well in my theory test paper.. but arent really do that well in my practical.. especially during my second phase test which took place last tuesday.. yeah.. i was sick.. and quite sick till my class advisor also chasing me home..
but what's e point of crying over spilled milk?? it's meaningless, Jessica Loh.. i was having a terrible backache after the hyper-pyrexia.. and was having cold sweat.. and all these come just to "right" time.. in the midst of my test.. well.. let's not talk about it.. now is time to have some rescue work.. yupz... rescue work.. need to do my VERY VERY BEST in my exam so that i can pull up my GPA.. YES.. I WANT AN "A" PLEASE.............. will it just drop from sky?? dont day-dream le, Ms Loh.. it's not gonna happen...
as usual.. all lesson today was on nursing studies.. 8am - 10am, we had SIM training.. ya.. bad mouth of me and Nad.. we were saying that we havent been chosen to be the nurse before.. so.. so LUCKY of us.. both of us got our WISH granted!!!! haiz.. but it wasnt a good turn out.. i practically screw everything.. Nad oso.. the teacher even shouted at her.. she was just so upset and angry over it!! but what to do?? luckily, she cheered up after a while.. if not, me and Farhan sure become EMO kids..
after which.. from 10am to 12pm.. it was nursing studies theory.. poor Mdm Qian waited for the class to set in SLOWLY as we were dismissed 10minutes late from class and waited for them to cat walk in SLOWLY.. then.. here comes her scolding.. well.. i tink somehow we need that to be waken up with our purpose of coming into this course.. yesterday.. 7students were absented from class.. and 1 return home after attending 2hrs lesson.. cos she vomited.. among 7students who are absent.. many were good friends.. and i think many of them had menstruction and had menstrual cramps.. so they didnt go for doctor consultation.. just have panadol and stay home to rest..
somehow.. this is the most ridiculous excuse you can ever heard of.. menstrual cramp.. what so big deal about it?? girls have it every month.. i agreed to the fullest to what Mdm Qian had said.. she said: "Everytime you have your period and develop menstrual cramp, you must take MC to rest.. Are you going to do that when you go for attachment?? Are you going to do that when you become an enrolled nurse?? then who's gonna take care my patients??" i think she really sound rationale and reasonable huh.. it's not a big deal.. just learn how to prevent it.. or at least reduce the pain.. drink less cold drinks.. take less spicy or sour food.. eat panadol maybe before your period gonna come.. or simply apply hot pain to your abdominal areas to reduce the pain..
well.. well.. well.. BWG!! after our break.. we had combined lecture for nursing studies at the MLT.. didnt see yuan around.. and found out later that he was sick.. hmm.. what's e least i can do?? help him copy notes lohz.. his classmates are just so inconsiderate bunch of people.. they dont care how people who absent can cope with lessons they missed.. all they care is whether they themselves can promote to a higher level, whether they can do well in their studies or not.. yes.. i know it's not my problem.. he isnt my classmate.. just a normal friend.. but he's my peer study friend.. so, i wont allow myself to dump my friend when i myself can cope with my studies.. i want to help.. help as much as i can.. and that's me!!
after which.. was PE lesson.. oh.. should say SW (sports and wellness).. sound more high-class... wahahaz(o^.^o).. i'm supposed to retake my NAFA test today de.. but.. seeing my condition now.. i dont really want to worsen it.. my injuried leg is still swollen!! after 3weeks.... and my turn lohz.. having stomach cramp.. and backache.. i didnt bring the appropriate shoe wear also.. so... the teacher didnt let me take the 2.4km run!!! YES YES YES!!! luckily dont need to run..
Nad accompany me to go buy water.. and i drank cold milo.. feel like dying faster.. got stomach cramp still taking cold drinks.. really deserve to die faster.. but who cares!?! the weather is hot.. and i'm WARM!! hahaz.. and was having some causal talk with Nad.. somehow our topic always revolve around that "problem".. and Nad actually commented that it's really heartless.. haiz.. wat to do??!?? i just have to face it and gradually accept it.. meanwhile.. let me be the emo kid!!!!!
well.. some things just cannot be forced.. we just have to understand this simple logic.. i think i'm still surviving and coping on it.. yupz.. i'm still ALIVE.. that's what my friends should be happy about.. the bubbly jessica never die.. just having a hard time.. my life is now black and white!! someone!!! please get it COLOURED!!!!
went home straight after the SW lesson ended.. yupz.. mom's home today.. i had a cold shower today.. not really because the weather is hot.. i just want to waken my brain cells with the cold feeling.. yes!! please dont be dead!! all my brain cells seems to be dying after the cells in my heart died last week.. die die die.. soon.. i'll be a dead person huh.. CANNOT!! i know very clearly i mustnt let this happen.. AWAKEN ME PLEASE!!~
" What's the point of going to sleep when there's no point in waking up??"
well.. it's wednesday.. so fast.. about 8weeks has passed.. yupz.. and i'm gonna be having my revision week next week to prepare myself for my exams.. yupz.. it's this sickening big word that turn my life upside down.. EXAMS... well.. i know it's time i do something to my studies.. i'm been doing quite well in my theory test paper.. but arent really do that well in my practical.. especially during my second phase test which took place last tuesday.. yeah.. i was sick.. and quite sick till my class advisor also chasing me home..
but what's e point of crying over spilled milk?? it's meaningless, Jessica Loh.. i was having a terrible backache after the hyper-pyrexia.. and was having cold sweat.. and all these come just to "right" time.. in the midst of my test.. well.. let's not talk about it.. now is time to have some rescue work.. yupz... rescue work.. need to do my VERY VERY BEST in my exam so that i can pull up my GPA.. YES.. I WANT AN "A" PLEASE.............. will it just drop from sky?? dont day-dream le, Ms Loh.. it's not gonna happen...
as usual.. all lesson today was on nursing studies.. 8am - 10am, we had SIM training.. ya.. bad mouth of me and Nad.. we were saying that we havent been chosen to be the nurse before.. so.. so LUCKY of us.. both of us got our WISH granted!!!! haiz.. but it wasnt a good turn out.. i practically screw everything.. Nad oso.. the teacher even shouted at her.. she was just so upset and angry over it!! but what to do?? luckily, she cheered up after a while.. if not, me and Farhan sure become EMO kids..
after which.. from 10am to 12pm.. it was nursing studies theory.. poor Mdm Qian waited for the class to set in SLOWLY as we were dismissed 10minutes late from class and waited for them to cat walk in SLOWLY.. then.. here comes her scolding.. well.. i tink somehow we need that to be waken up with our purpose of coming into this course.. yesterday.. 7students were absented from class.. and 1 return home after attending 2hrs lesson.. cos she vomited.. among 7students who are absent.. many were good friends.. and i think many of them had menstruction and had menstrual cramps.. so they didnt go for doctor consultation.. just have panadol and stay home to rest..
somehow.. this is the most ridiculous excuse you can ever heard of.. menstrual cramp.. what so big deal about it?? girls have it every month.. i agreed to the fullest to what Mdm Qian had said.. she said: "Everytime you have your period and develop menstrual cramp, you must take MC to rest.. Are you going to do that when you go for attachment?? Are you going to do that when you become an enrolled nurse?? then who's gonna take care my patients??" i think she really sound rationale and reasonable huh.. it's not a big deal.. just learn how to prevent it.. or at least reduce the pain.. drink less cold drinks.. take less spicy or sour food.. eat panadol maybe before your period gonna come.. or simply apply hot pain to your abdominal areas to reduce the pain..
well.. well.. well.. BWG!! after our break.. we had combined lecture for nursing studies at the MLT.. didnt see yuan around.. and found out later that he was sick.. hmm.. what's e least i can do?? help him copy notes lohz.. his classmates are just so inconsiderate bunch of people.. they dont care how people who absent can cope with lessons they missed.. all they care is whether they themselves can promote to a higher level, whether they can do well in their studies or not.. yes.. i know it's not my problem.. he isnt my classmate.. just a normal friend.. but he's my peer study friend.. so, i wont allow myself to dump my friend when i myself can cope with my studies.. i want to help.. help as much as i can.. and that's me!!
after which.. was PE lesson.. oh.. should say SW (sports and wellness).. sound more high-class... wahahaz(o^.^o).. i'm supposed to retake my NAFA test today de.. but.. seeing my condition now.. i dont really want to worsen it.. my injuried leg is still swollen!! after 3weeks.... and my turn lohz.. having stomach cramp.. and backache.. i didnt bring the appropriate shoe wear also.. so... the teacher didnt let me take the 2.4km run!!! YES YES YES!!! luckily dont need to run..
Nad accompany me to go buy water.. and i drank cold milo.. feel like dying faster.. got stomach cramp still taking cold drinks.. really deserve to die faster.. but who cares!?! the weather is hot.. and i'm WARM!! hahaz.. and was having some causal talk with Nad.. somehow our topic always revolve around that "problem".. and Nad actually commented that it's really heartless.. haiz.. wat to do??!?? i just have to face it and gradually accept it.. meanwhile.. let me be the emo kid!!!!!
well.. some things just cannot be forced.. we just have to understand this simple logic.. i think i'm still surviving and coping on it.. yupz.. i'm still ALIVE.. that's what my friends should be happy about.. the bubbly jessica never die.. just having a hard time.. my life is now black and white!! someone!!! please get it COLOURED!!!!
went home straight after the SW lesson ended.. yupz.. mom's home today.. i had a cold shower today.. not really because the weather is hot.. i just want to waken my brain cells with the cold feeling.. yes!! please dont be dead!! all my brain cells seems to be dying after the cells in my heart died last week.. die die die.. soon.. i'll be a dead person huh.. CANNOT!! i know very clearly i mustnt let this happen.. AWAKEN ME PLEASE!!~
" What's the point of going to sleep when there's no point in waking up??"
Monday, June 04, 2007
[ ignorance !! ]
[ ignorance!! ]
today morning.. I SIMPLY just dont feel like getting out of bed.. all I can say is.. I FORCED myself to CLIMB out of my bed sia.. I dont know how I managed to do it.. but I SUCCEEDED!! well.. as usual lohz.. same old routine.. bath liao then pray.. then tidy my precious hair and out i go for school... the moment i step out of the house, i told myself.. "jessica loh, you must be different today.. everything is gonna be alright!!"
I want to have a short nap in the bus.. but i cant.. i also dont know why.. Jessica Loh.. you sound weird today.. well.. it's okie.. nobody will cares if you are or you are not.. as usual.. reach school around 7 like that.. and waited patiently for Farhan, Nad and Shiffa to come.. had a cup of COLD milo and a bread.. FREEZE to death.. so cold after drinking the milo.. then.. we made our way to MLT... our BIOSCIENCE paper.. i'm COMING!! saw him actually.. and saw him looking my way.. Jessica loh, you just too good in pretending.. i pretended.. pretended not to see him..
oh man!!! the paper is pretty easy.. but say truthfully.. i got no confidence at all.. oh man!! DIE.. just so scared that I will fail my test.. if test fail, exams really will die.. after which.. is PIE lesson lohz.. we are given a special task.. to write positive comments to our classmates.. it seems like last day of school... how i wish this day can come faster.. *day-dreaming* well well well.. it's good to day dream once in a while huh... lolx.. we really had a great time doing it.. really have lots of great comments.. thanks guys!~
after lunch break.. was nursing studies theory... *yawn* the whole class is dozing off... after all the midnight oil yesterday.. i'm so tired.. after theory.. it's practical.. tired!!!!! saw him actually.. got detention.. last tuesday late for class.. so bad of me again.. i pretended not to see him again and pretend to be really concentrated with what the teachers are saying... oh man!!
Jessica Loh.. how can you do this?? i dont bear to.. but i cant help it.. that's e only resolute i have.. he walked past my class so many times.. and everytime.. i PRETENDED.. how long can i PRETEND?? 2 years of my life in ite?? am i going to do that?? is this gonna work?? is this gonna lessen the pain?? i really hate myself.. i really hate to pretend.. but i just cant help it!!!
went back with farhan today.. we walked to bus 10 bus stop.. so long never go back with him alone le.. always got nad tagging.. and i always throw them aside and go back with yuan.. really talk a lot with him today.. he said he saw him looking at me.. but i just pretended not to see him.. very ke wu right?? very chan ren right?? i know i am.. but i want to lessen my pain.. want to reduce the chance of getting hurt.. well.. if he really cares, i wont be in such a state now...
went see see walk walk shop shop with farhan at tampines.. and i ate mac's sundae hot fudge.. ice-cream helps me forget my worries for the moment.. it helps me reduce stress!! but how effective can this method be this time round?? it dont seems to take effect.. and has upset my stomach instead!! soon.. my taste bud will be lost.. i know it for sure.. well well well.. It's e HEALING process.........................
let my ignorance rawks on!!!!!
today morning.. I SIMPLY just dont feel like getting out of bed.. all I can say is.. I FORCED myself to CLIMB out of my bed sia.. I dont know how I managed to do it.. but I SUCCEEDED!! well.. as usual lohz.. same old routine.. bath liao then pray.. then tidy my precious hair and out i go for school... the moment i step out of the house, i told myself.. "jessica loh, you must be different today.. everything is gonna be alright!!"
I want to have a short nap in the bus.. but i cant.. i also dont know why.. Jessica Loh.. you sound weird today.. well.. it's okie.. nobody will cares if you are or you are not.. as usual.. reach school around 7 like that.. and waited patiently for Farhan, Nad and Shiffa to come.. had a cup of COLD milo and a bread.. FREEZE to death.. so cold after drinking the milo.. then.. we made our way to MLT... our BIOSCIENCE paper.. i'm COMING!! saw him actually.. and saw him looking my way.. Jessica loh, you just too good in pretending.. i pretended.. pretended not to see him..
oh man!!! the paper is pretty easy.. but say truthfully.. i got no confidence at all.. oh man!! DIE.. just so scared that I will fail my test.. if test fail, exams really will die.. after which.. is PIE lesson lohz.. we are given a special task.. to write positive comments to our classmates.. it seems like last day of school... how i wish this day can come faster.. *day-dreaming* well well well.. it's good to day dream once in a while huh... lolx.. we really had a great time doing it.. really have lots of great comments.. thanks guys!~
after lunch break.. was nursing studies theory... *yawn* the whole class is dozing off... after all the midnight oil yesterday.. i'm so tired.. after theory.. it's practical.. tired!!!!! saw him actually.. got detention.. last tuesday late for class.. so bad of me again.. i pretended not to see him again and pretend to be really concentrated with what the teachers are saying... oh man!!
Jessica Loh.. how can you do this?? i dont bear to.. but i cant help it.. that's e only resolute i have.. he walked past my class so many times.. and everytime.. i PRETENDED.. how long can i PRETEND?? 2 years of my life in ite?? am i going to do that?? is this gonna work?? is this gonna lessen the pain?? i really hate myself.. i really hate to pretend.. but i just cant help it!!!
went back with farhan today.. we walked to bus 10 bus stop.. so long never go back with him alone le.. always got nad tagging.. and i always throw them aside and go back with yuan.. really talk a lot with him today.. he said he saw him looking at me.. but i just pretended not to see him.. very ke wu right?? very chan ren right?? i know i am.. but i want to lessen my pain.. want to reduce the chance of getting hurt.. well.. if he really cares, i wont be in such a state now...
went see see walk walk shop shop with farhan at tampines.. and i ate mac's sundae hot fudge.. ice-cream helps me forget my worries for the moment.. it helps me reduce stress!! but how effective can this method be this time round?? it dont seems to take effect.. and has upset my stomach instead!! soon.. my taste bud will be lost.. i know it for sure.. well well well.. It's e HEALING process.........................
let my ignorance rawks on!!!!!
Sunday, June 03, 2007
[ blockage!! ]
[ blockage!! ]
I had a quarrel with mom today morning.. well.. I dont mean it anyway.. I got the last and most important test right before I have my exams.. and that's my BIOSCIENCE test 2.. haiz.. she just need my help to do some housework for her.. and that's to sweep and mop the floor.. but I told her to ask my brother to do it instead.. He isnt studying and is lazying at home.. guess he should be of the greatest help right?? yupz.. Mom is seriously angry with me now.. but who cares!!!!?? now my studies is important.. I dont want anything to obstruct me now.. I dont want to get distracted.. that's so simple.. Just a small request of mine..
SOOOOooooo.. She said seriously to me that she will lock me at home during the weekend.. She will STOP me from going to study with my friends.. She will BLOCK all my financial needs during the weekend.. IT'S OKIE!!! Jessica Loh can survive without FOOD!!! Nothing is gonna STOP my feet from stepping out of the house.. I just cant concentrate with the 4 walls in my room.. And with the noise pollution ( my dearest DAD and my CUTE-est YOUNGER BROTHER ) at home.. especially on sundays.. haiz..
SOMEONE please SAVE me!! I'm just another pitiful girl!! A person whom doesnt weigh anything in anybody's heart!!!
After praying and after mom left home for work.. I finally can get some peace.. yupz.. I was caught red-handed opening the handphone bill yesterday night and hide it under my mom's piles of bills.. my bill was 70plus last month.. and she actually nagged me the whole night.. well.. my mom sings real great opera yeah!! luckily dad save me!! but he nagged at me with another topic.. one topic that he nagged for one week already.. and that's to be more active in my religion activities.. haiz.. i'm jus plain lazy!! LAZYGER ROCKS!!
I simply cant concentrate.. after all the quarrels and noise pollution irritating my mind.. my opera-singing mom isnt home.. but my naggy dad and gay-ish brother are home!! thanks huh!! after my breakfast.. i watched "wei xiao pasta" while studying.. at 3pm.. i start to get myself locked in the room.. yupz.. HOPING that i can concentrate.. but dont seems to.. went downstairs to buy my favourite wafer!! yupz.. i'm not really hungry actually.. just want to take a breathe downstairs and as usual, my mouth itchy.. feel like munching on something.. I have a craving for ICE-CREAM.. just too lazy to walk.. cause the mama shop opposite my block is closed.. and i dont really want to walk that long..
hmmm.. i have developed a bad habit this 2weeks.. everytime i buy food.. i'll feel like eating it a lot.. but when i bought it.. i'll feel like puking when i even have the first bite only.. haiz.. i guess it's nothing good huh.. Mom finished work.. and called home to ask what we want for dinner.. i told didi to tell her i dont feel like eating.. she thinks i'm angry with her being unreasonable.. yupz!!! mom is really unreasonable.. but i'm not really angry with her.. at the moment is she shout at me, i'm really angry.. but after 10minutes, my angry xiao liao.. i just dont feel like eating..
but.. stubborn daughter got a stubborn mom.. she bought me lao shu fen.. with veggies and chicken wing.. as usual.. the first thing i'll do is to pick out the beansprouts.. hahaz... and i ate mouth by mouth.. with UNWILLINGNESS!!! dad saw me eating.. he know i'm forced to eat.. how i wish my stomach is a zip.. can open and close to throw my food in.. then i dont have to chew and swallow liao.. so easy huh.. convenience.. i managed to squeeze in half the packet of it.. hmmm.. miracle do happen!! hahaz..
after which.. continue to mug on my bioscience.. "you drive me crazy!!" aiyoz.. BLOCKAGE!! i just cannot concentrate.. nad!!! save me!! you should be the one who know the reason behind it!! why?? why does this happen at this moment?? please.. please dont affect my exams!!!!!
I had a quarrel with mom today morning.. well.. I dont mean it anyway.. I got the last and most important test right before I have my exams.. and that's my BIOSCIENCE test 2.. haiz.. she just need my help to do some housework for her.. and that's to sweep and mop the floor.. but I told her to ask my brother to do it instead.. He isnt studying and is lazying at home.. guess he should be of the greatest help right?? yupz.. Mom is seriously angry with me now.. but who cares!!!!?? now my studies is important.. I dont want anything to obstruct me now.. I dont want to get distracted.. that's so simple.. Just a small request of mine..
SOOOOooooo.. She said seriously to me that she will lock me at home during the weekend.. She will STOP me from going to study with my friends.. She will BLOCK all my financial needs during the weekend.. IT'S OKIE!!! Jessica Loh can survive without FOOD!!! Nothing is gonna STOP my feet from stepping out of the house.. I just cant concentrate with the 4 walls in my room.. And with the noise pollution ( my dearest DAD and my CUTE-est YOUNGER BROTHER ) at home.. especially on sundays.. haiz..
SOMEONE please SAVE me!! I'm just another pitiful girl!! A person whom doesnt weigh anything in anybody's heart!!!
After praying and after mom left home for work.. I finally can get some peace.. yupz.. I was caught red-handed opening the handphone bill yesterday night and hide it under my mom's piles of bills.. my bill was 70plus last month.. and she actually nagged me the whole night.. well.. my mom sings real great opera yeah!! luckily dad save me!! but he nagged at me with another topic.. one topic that he nagged for one week already.. and that's to be more active in my religion activities.. haiz.. i'm jus plain lazy!! LAZYGER ROCKS!!
I simply cant concentrate.. after all the quarrels and noise pollution irritating my mind.. my opera-singing mom isnt home.. but my naggy dad and gay-ish brother are home!! thanks huh!! after my breakfast.. i watched "wei xiao pasta" while studying.. at 3pm.. i start to get myself locked in the room.. yupz.. HOPING that i can concentrate.. but dont seems to.. went downstairs to buy my favourite wafer!! yupz.. i'm not really hungry actually.. just want to take a breathe downstairs and as usual, my mouth itchy.. feel like munching on something.. I have a craving for ICE-CREAM.. just too lazy to walk.. cause the mama shop opposite my block is closed.. and i dont really want to walk that long..
hmmm.. i have developed a bad habit this 2weeks.. everytime i buy food.. i'll feel like eating it a lot.. but when i bought it.. i'll feel like puking when i even have the first bite only.. haiz.. i guess it's nothing good huh.. Mom finished work.. and called home to ask what we want for dinner.. i told didi to tell her i dont feel like eating.. she thinks i'm angry with her being unreasonable.. yupz!!! mom is really unreasonable.. but i'm not really angry with her.. at the moment is she shout at me, i'm really angry.. but after 10minutes, my angry xiao liao.. i just dont feel like eating..
but.. stubborn daughter got a stubborn mom.. she bought me lao shu fen.. with veggies and chicken wing.. as usual.. the first thing i'll do is to pick out the beansprouts.. hahaz... and i ate mouth by mouth.. with UNWILLINGNESS!!! dad saw me eating.. he know i'm forced to eat.. how i wish my stomach is a zip.. can open and close to throw my food in.. then i dont have to chew and swallow liao.. so easy huh.. convenience.. i managed to squeeze in half the packet of it.. hmmm.. miracle do happen!! hahaz..
after which.. continue to mug on my bioscience.. "you drive me crazy!!" aiyoz.. BLOCKAGE!! i just cannot concentrate.. nad!!! save me!! you should be the one who know the reason behind it!! why?? why does this happen at this moment?? please.. please dont affect my exams!!!!!
Saturday, June 02, 2007
[ emo kid ]~*
[ emo kid ]~*
emo kid... i'm just being a emotional freak recently.. i dont know what went wrong with me actually.. i know i cant carry on like that.. but i just cant help myself up.. i just cant stop being like that.. where has the happy-go-lucky jessica gone to?? where has the cheerful jessica gone to?? where?? somebody please call her back can?? why??
was chanting in front of the gohonzon just now.. was praying hard that i can stop thinking of what has happened.. but i just cant.. i cant stuck my ears with music.. my tears will start flowing out.. i cried.. cried in front of the gohonzon.. how?? how am i going to accept this?? why has things turn out to be like that?? it isnt the way i want it to be!! how come things just cant go the way i want it to be???
i thought my life in ite will just be gone in 2 years time peacefully and quietly.. i want to keep a low profile.. but somehow.. i didnt make it through.. thank you.. thank you for coming into my life.. but somehow.. my life is upside down now.. i have lost the energy to stand on my feets once again.. people.. leave me alone for the moment.. i want the peaceful side of me now.. please dont force me to smile.. please dont force me to laugh.. please dont think of cheering me up... it wont helps.. i just want to stay quiet.. and think through thoroughly..
PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!
emo kid... i'm just being a emotional freak recently.. i dont know what went wrong with me actually.. i know i cant carry on like that.. but i just cant help myself up.. i just cant stop being like that.. where has the happy-go-lucky jessica gone to?? where has the cheerful jessica gone to?? where?? somebody please call her back can?? why??
was chanting in front of the gohonzon just now.. was praying hard that i can stop thinking of what has happened.. but i just cant.. i cant stuck my ears with music.. my tears will start flowing out.. i cried.. cried in front of the gohonzon.. how?? how am i going to accept this?? why has things turn out to be like that?? it isnt the way i want it to be!! how come things just cant go the way i want it to be???
i thought my life in ite will just be gone in 2 years time peacefully and quietly.. i want to keep a low profile.. but somehow.. i didnt make it through.. thank you.. thank you for coming into my life.. but somehow.. my life is upside down now.. i have lost the energy to stand on my feets once again.. people.. leave me alone for the moment.. i want the peaceful side of me now.. please dont force me to smile.. please dont force me to laugh.. please dont think of cheering me up... it wont helps.. i just want to stay quiet.. and think through thoroughly..
PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!
Friday, June 01, 2007
(( e dae has finally came ))
(( e dae has finally came ))
I got back my results for my nursing studies test...yupz.. was quite a gd news actually.. i got 42.5/50.. it's a A.. hahaz.. I got a B tat time 4 my bioscience.. and now a A for my nursing studies.. hmmm.. It's like 2 years since I have the chance to study and mugging really hard into books for my test and exams le.. It feel so good all a sudden.. Though it can be quite stress at times.. BUT.. I know I'm enjoying the process of it.. hahaz... That's all about good news..
I just feel WEIRD this whole week.... My LIFE has been in a MESS.. I dont know what wrong with me too!! (=.=!?) It's just not the normal "Jessica Loh" everyone used to know.. well.. Monday blues.. BUT.. i think i "BLUES" throughout the whole week.... what kind of shit is this?? let's start off the entry on MONDAY ba.. well..
MONDAY - the day started off quite moody.. it's MONDAY blues.. yuan simply ignored me sia.. ARGH!~ It's driving me really crazy!!! first lesson was bioscience combined lecture.. early morning at MLT.. we didnt really talk actually... I also dont know why.. I simply cant get it figured out.. I had lessons till 5pm.. as for him, it's till 3pm actually.. but he got extra training for phase test from 5pm to 6pm like that.. so i waited for him to finish.. he finally voiced out what had happened to him.. he's mood swinging.. due to archery..
yupz.. as usual lahz.. It's archery.. that's e cause of everything.. sometimes I also dont know what I should do.. I dont know anything about archery.. It really makes me difficult to encourage him.. I have to be double careful with my words as well.. sound TEDIOUS huh.. what to do?? that's my fate lahz.. after he dismissed.. we walked to simei east point.. he has to get his PIE project done on tuesday.. so accompany him go NTUC to get the necessary stuffs.. yupz.. he's making cheese cake.. *yum yum* sound nice huh!?!? hahaz(>o<)..
after which.. we went to munch house for our dinner.. poor him.. I'm sick that's why he need to make things go my way.. can only eat things i can eat.. cause i cant eat fast food.. *sobx* on our way there.. we saw a group of nursing students.. hmm.. i caught them RED-HANDED.. yupz.. RED-HANDED!!! they SMOKE in UNIFORM.. BUT.. i have chosen to pretend not to see... i know it's not right to protect them like this.. but i just dont want to get myself in trouble.. they SAW me.. if they didnt.. the second day, they sure die a hard life..
after our dinner.. yuan sent me to the bus-stop.. this time round.. i really very obedient.. never miss any bus then i board liao.. cause i'm late.. it's already 7plus 8 already.. die.. if i gets home later than mom.. then die liao.. i just hope after that, yuan's feelings will get better.. just hoping.. *praying* oh shit!! so unlucky of me.. mom got home just 2 steps before me.. when i was already in the lift to my flat, she called.. ARGH~ she's really ANGRY with my behaviour.. cause i'm sick.. YET... i never guai guai come home earlier... haiz!
TUESDAY - the day where all the frustration starts to rise.. do you think waiting for your loved ones is a WASTE of TIME?? ya.. someone DID.. i cant imagine you will think this way.. well.. after all.. it's just my ILLUSION.. hmmm.. sorry for those who dont understand what i'm trying to write.. i'm just trying to VOICE out without people knowing the exact meaning behind it.. it's really HEART BREAKING for the person who hears that huh?? i PITY that person's ears.. OUCH!~ it SIMPLY HURTS!! i can understand how that person feel.. i think i will want to get my heart FREEZE then.. NUMB it!! lessons supposed to end at 3pm.. but got bioscience extra lesson till 5pm..
i'm super tired.. and having the terrible backache almost have taken my life away.. i turned pale during the phase test... i simply cannot CONCENTRATE.. Mdm Lam should be really really disappointed with my performance.. yupz.. I KNOW.. I know i SCREWED my phase test 2.. Mdm Qian saw my face turning hot and red.. yupz.. I'm running a FEVER.. after all the BUILD IN FRUSTRATION and SADNESS.. my temperature rise like rocket.. she wants me to go home and rest well.. but i insisted that i dont want to.. just dont want to miss lessons.. exams is round the corner!!
WEDNESDAY - it was just another TERRIBLE day.. but with early dismissal... early morning.. Mdm Qian saw me at cafe 1 and she came towards me.. she requested to see my mindmap on bioscience.. well.. she seems to hear people praising my mindmap.. lolx(>o<).. what a joke.. i dont think it's that great actually.. hahaz! but i didnt bring.. no bioscience lesson on wednesday actually.. during nursing studies the combined lecture at MLT.. a girl from class D asked if i'm jessica.. lolx.. she commented that i'm well-known.. WELL-KNOWN??!?? (=.=!?) question mark huh.. after which.. we had our SW class.. lolx.. half the class didnt bring PE attire.. and those who brought didnt bother to get change.. we begged.. begged for teacher for early dismissal.. well.. my terrible day just ended like that.. with all my sms-es all ignored.. thanks huh!!
THURSDAY - this is the only day of the week i dont have to feel so stress.. ya.. cause it's a holiday.. i dont have to go school.. and dont have to crack my little head to cheer him up... that's really tiring.. i'm not a mom.. went to study with farhan and nad.. and it rains!!! somehow.. the sky is pitying this little girl.. with her heart and soul all wound out.. i ate ice-cream with a packet of milo after that.. ice-cream helps to cheer my day.. as for milo.. i just hope i'll get diarrhoea and get to skip school tomorrow.. but somehow.. my stomach works normally then.. we went to support hafiz in his jamming performance at the west coast bowl. it's like so long i never step foot there.. *memories back-flow*
BUT.. so embarrassing of me.. i didnt get to stay till he perform.. what a miss!! i have to go for a hair cut.. actually.. it was meant to be cutting of my liu hai only.. but mom insist that i should trim my hair as well.. okie.. let things go your way this time round mom.. i have cut my 3000 fan nan si!!! ya.. it's pretty short i can say... 3inches of my hair gone.. just imagine dear friends!!!! hahaz.. kind of REGRET actually.. not the hair not nice.. but i think i look WEIRD.. my hair hasnt been that short ever since i start working.. i always have long hairs.. tat's my TRADEMARK since kindergarten.. hahaz.. SO PROUD of me.. *wink*
FRIDAY - the healing process.. everything has come to an end.. FINALLY... nad and farhan.. ur ears will stop bleeding because of my grumble!! FINALLY huh.. BUT my heart really aches.. my face changed colour.. just like chameleon.. i cant really smile.. ya.. Jessica Loh's TRADEMARK SMILE is GONE!!!! it's gonna be LOST forever this time round.. It melted many people's heart.. but i will choose not to smile.. this way will helps to LESSEN my PAIN.. ICE-CREAM.. i ate ice-cream again.. BUT.. it seems like i'm TOO MUCH IN PAIN.. i dont feel that the ICE-CREAM is WORKING on me.. i dont feel HAPPY after eating. I DONT!! why?!? why will the thing you feared the most comes faster than expected?? how long a WOUND takes to HEAL?? guys.. stop pinching salt onto my WOUND!!
I got back my results for my nursing studies test...yupz.. was quite a gd news actually.. i got 42.5/50.. it's a A.. hahaz.. I got a B tat time 4 my bioscience.. and now a A for my nursing studies.. hmmm.. It's like 2 years since I have the chance to study and mugging really hard into books for my test and exams le.. It feel so good all a sudden.. Though it can be quite stress at times.. BUT.. I know I'm enjoying the process of it.. hahaz... That's all about good news..
I just feel WEIRD this whole week.... My LIFE has been in a MESS.. I dont know what wrong with me too!! (=.=!?) It's just not the normal "Jessica Loh" everyone used to know.. well.. Monday blues.. BUT.. i think i "BLUES" throughout the whole week.... what kind of shit is this?? let's start off the entry on MONDAY ba.. well..
MONDAY - the day started off quite moody.. it's MONDAY blues.. yuan simply ignored me sia.. ARGH!~ It's driving me really crazy!!! first lesson was bioscience combined lecture.. early morning at MLT.. we didnt really talk actually... I also dont know why.. I simply cant get it figured out.. I had lessons till 5pm.. as for him, it's till 3pm actually.. but he got extra training for phase test from 5pm to 6pm like that.. so i waited for him to finish.. he finally voiced out what had happened to him.. he's mood swinging.. due to archery..
yupz.. as usual lahz.. It's archery.. that's e cause of everything.. sometimes I also dont know what I should do.. I dont know anything about archery.. It really makes me difficult to encourage him.. I have to be double careful with my words as well.. sound TEDIOUS huh.. what to do?? that's my fate lahz.. after he dismissed.. we walked to simei east point.. he has to get his PIE project done on tuesday.. so accompany him go NTUC to get the necessary stuffs.. yupz.. he's making cheese cake.. *yum yum* sound nice huh!?!? hahaz(>o<)..
after which.. we went to munch house for our dinner.. poor him.. I'm sick that's why he need to make things go my way.. can only eat things i can eat.. cause i cant eat fast food.. *sobx* on our way there.. we saw a group of nursing students.. hmm.. i caught them RED-HANDED.. yupz.. RED-HANDED!!! they SMOKE in UNIFORM.. BUT.. i have chosen to pretend not to see... i know it's not right to protect them like this.. but i just dont want to get myself in trouble.. they SAW me.. if they didnt.. the second day, they sure die a hard life..
after our dinner.. yuan sent me to the bus-stop.. this time round.. i really very obedient.. never miss any bus then i board liao.. cause i'm late.. it's already 7plus 8 already.. die.. if i gets home later than mom.. then die liao.. i just hope after that, yuan's feelings will get better.. just hoping.. *praying* oh shit!! so unlucky of me.. mom got home just 2 steps before me.. when i was already in the lift to my flat, she called.. ARGH~ she's really ANGRY with my behaviour.. cause i'm sick.. YET... i never guai guai come home earlier... haiz!
TUESDAY - the day where all the frustration starts to rise.. do you think waiting for your loved ones is a WASTE of TIME?? ya.. someone DID.. i cant imagine you will think this way.. well.. after all.. it's just my ILLUSION.. hmmm.. sorry for those who dont understand what i'm trying to write.. i'm just trying to VOICE out without people knowing the exact meaning behind it.. it's really HEART BREAKING for the person who hears that huh?? i PITY that person's ears.. OUCH!~ it SIMPLY HURTS!! i can understand how that person feel.. i think i will want to get my heart FREEZE then.. NUMB it!! lessons supposed to end at 3pm.. but got bioscience extra lesson till 5pm..
i'm super tired.. and having the terrible backache almost have taken my life away.. i turned pale during the phase test... i simply cannot CONCENTRATE.. Mdm Lam should be really really disappointed with my performance.. yupz.. I KNOW.. I know i SCREWED my phase test 2.. Mdm Qian saw my face turning hot and red.. yupz.. I'm running a FEVER.. after all the BUILD IN FRUSTRATION and SADNESS.. my temperature rise like rocket.. she wants me to go home and rest well.. but i insisted that i dont want to.. just dont want to miss lessons.. exams is round the corner!!
WEDNESDAY - it was just another TERRIBLE day.. but with early dismissal... early morning.. Mdm Qian saw me at cafe 1 and she came towards me.. she requested to see my mindmap on bioscience.. well.. she seems to hear people praising my mindmap.. lolx(>o<).. what a joke.. i dont think it's that great actually.. hahaz! but i didnt bring.. no bioscience lesson on wednesday actually.. during nursing studies the combined lecture at MLT.. a girl from class D asked if i'm jessica.. lolx.. she commented that i'm well-known.. WELL-KNOWN??!?? (=.=!?) question mark huh.. after which.. we had our SW class.. lolx.. half the class didnt bring PE attire.. and those who brought didnt bother to get change.. we begged.. begged for teacher for early dismissal.. well.. my terrible day just ended like that.. with all my sms-es all ignored.. thanks huh!!
THURSDAY - this is the only day of the week i dont have to feel so stress.. ya.. cause it's a holiday.. i dont have to go school.. and dont have to crack my little head to cheer him up... that's really tiring.. i'm not a mom.. went to study with farhan and nad.. and it rains!!! somehow.. the sky is pitying this little girl.. with her heart and soul all wound out.. i ate ice-cream with a packet of milo after that.. ice-cream helps to cheer my day.. as for milo.. i just hope i'll get diarrhoea and get to skip school tomorrow.. but somehow.. my stomach works normally then.. we went to support hafiz in his jamming performance at the west coast bowl. it's like so long i never step foot there.. *memories back-flow*
BUT.. so embarrassing of me.. i didnt get to stay till he perform.. what a miss!! i have to go for a hair cut.. actually.. it was meant to be cutting of my liu hai only.. but mom insist that i should trim my hair as well.. okie.. let things go your way this time round mom.. i have cut my 3000 fan nan si!!! ya.. it's pretty short i can say... 3inches of my hair gone.. just imagine dear friends!!!! hahaz.. kind of REGRET actually.. not the hair not nice.. but i think i look WEIRD.. my hair hasnt been that short ever since i start working.. i always have long hairs.. tat's my TRADEMARK since kindergarten.. hahaz.. SO PROUD of me.. *wink*
FRIDAY - the healing process.. everything has come to an end.. FINALLY... nad and farhan.. ur ears will stop bleeding because of my grumble!! FINALLY huh.. BUT my heart really aches.. my face changed colour.. just like chameleon.. i cant really smile.. ya.. Jessica Loh's TRADEMARK SMILE is GONE!!!! it's gonna be LOST forever this time round.. It melted many people's heart.. but i will choose not to smile.. this way will helps to LESSEN my PAIN.. ICE-CREAM.. i ate ice-cream again.. BUT.. it seems like i'm TOO MUCH IN PAIN.. i dont feel that the ICE-CREAM is WORKING on me.. i dont feel HAPPY after eating. I DONT!! why?!? why will the thing you feared the most comes faster than expected?? how long a WOUND takes to HEAL?? guys.. stop pinching salt onto my WOUND!!
Sunday, May 27, 2007
[ it's been tough on you... and tough on me.. ]
[ it's been tough on you... and tough on me.. ]
it's been tough on you for the past few weeks.. from fever/flu to stomach flu to over exertation to virus infection.. i know it's tough on you.. really tough on you.. 5days of school.. yuan wasnt in school from monday to thursday.. he was down from fever.. got virus infection.. he simply physically and mentally weak now.. i guess he really feel pressurized.. i just dont understand why that guys usually wont feel comfortable talking to their loved ones their problems.. is it because they are afraid to lose face?? isnt it better to talk someone who understand you the best your problems?? why is it so important whether you will lose face or not??
recently.. he seems to very cold to me.. very cold at times.. that yuan i know dont seems to be one i know at first.. his sms is short and dont really want to talk to me at times.. is it because you think you're a burden to me?? or everything i can think of is only my wild guessing?? wo ye heng tong ku!! do you know that??
i was down from fever yesterday.. i'm supposed to go school for the meet-e-parents session.. end up.. i didnt go.. my fever rise from 38.3deg C to almost 40deg C.. i almost feel tat i'm dying le.. mayb i jus over exert myself too much recently ba.. plus inadquate amount of rest.. well.. i'm jus tired..
- will there be a day i will lose my smile ?? -
it's been tough on you for the past few weeks.. from fever/flu to stomach flu to over exertation to virus infection.. i know it's tough on you.. really tough on you.. 5days of school.. yuan wasnt in school from monday to thursday.. he was down from fever.. got virus infection.. he simply physically and mentally weak now.. i guess he really feel pressurized.. i just dont understand why that guys usually wont feel comfortable talking to their loved ones their problems.. is it because they are afraid to lose face?? isnt it better to talk someone who understand you the best your problems?? why is it so important whether you will lose face or not??
recently.. he seems to very cold to me.. very cold at times.. that yuan i know dont seems to be one i know at first.. his sms is short and dont really want to talk to me at times.. is it because you think you're a burden to me?? or everything i can think of is only my wild guessing?? wo ye heng tong ku!! do you know that??
i was down from fever yesterday.. i'm supposed to go school for the meet-e-parents session.. end up.. i didnt go.. my fever rise from 38.3deg C to almost 40deg C.. i almost feel tat i'm dying le.. mayb i jus over exert myself too much recently ba.. plus inadquate amount of rest.. well.. i'm jus tired..
- will there be a day i will lose my smile ?? -
Sunday, May 20, 2007
[ i lost e "bet" !!! ]
[ i lost e "bet" !!! ]
ahhhh.... a week have just passed... test after test.. i'm getting a bit tired.. *exhausted* well.. bear with it!!!!! i tolerant!!!!! *TOLERANCE*... let's have a progress report on e past 1 week.. it's really happening....
MONDAY - hmmm.. early morning.. we had our very 1st bioscience test in e MLT... can u imagine that i dreamt of the questions?? lolx.. i just dreamt a little.. dreamt that i must study on my functions of skeletal system.. i dreamt about the examples of long bones..and e questions really came out.. oh man!!! i got a shocked of my entire life.. well.. this paper is considered quite an easy paper.. if i never do well, oh man!!! i'll go knock the wall... Junyuan ended school at 3pm.. so he went home before me.. i had my lessons till 5pm.. well.. he wants to come meet me for dinner.. but he had a terrible headache.. so he stayed at home instead... and then.... i had a terrible incident.. as usual.. bus31 is forever packed.. so i'll always spend some time to walk to another bus stop nearby to take bus10..
well.. monday blues huh.. monday is the start of the day.. yet a terrible day for me.. because.. all my buddies have interact club lohz.. Nad, Farhan, Shiffa and Ramlan... somemore that Mr.Tan end school so early.. end up... I will have to go back alone lohz.. no choice!!!! *sobx* oh man!!! i was happily sitting alone in the upper deck of the bus.. and happily giving way to those who wants to get down first.. and sadly.. "hao ren mei hao bao" ((good people never have good outcome))..... i templed down two steps.. oh man!! so embarrassing.. luckily never fall down.. just aching and my leg into an elephant leg in spilt seconds!!! luckily Junyuan not around.. if not, it will be more EMBARRASSING sia.. it's very embarrassing to fall in front of a guy or in front of someone you like.. GIRLS out there!!! AGREED?!?
i just dare not rub.. i scare it will get worse.. so all i did was to limp all the way home.. and told him what happened.. thanks for volunteering to rub for me.. but i think i'll cry sia.. wahahaz...
TUESDAY - well.. my leg was pretty swollen and red.. but.. i limped all the way to school.. it took me 15mins to walk to the bus-stop instead of the usual 5mins.. big different huh.. no choice.. and i know clearly tat Junyuan will feel like killing me.. cause I have already promised him that if my leg still swell, i'll go see a doctor and stay home to rest.. yup.. i know clearly that i will get a scolding.. so the clever me actually think through how to fight back.. hahaz.. my reason will be "i hurted my leg, but my brain"... kekez.. how stupid it can be.. no choice lahz.. i dont want to miss any of the lessons if possible.. cause it will never be easy to get replacement lessons.. Mdm Qian was shocked to see me limping all the way to her office early morning when she called upon requesting to see me.. the first thing she said was to ask me go home rest.. but insisted on staying in school..
i have wasted so much energy to limp all the way to school.. it will not be worthwhile if i'm going to limp all the way home again right?? luckily he will be only school at 9am.. and i'll only see him only during lunch hours at 12pm.. lolx.. it will delay the time i gonna get scolding from him.. i msg him and told him i limped all e way in school.. clever move.. let him voice out his anger through sms before getting scolding face to face.. lolx.. i know clearly you wont bear to scold me de.. hahaz(0^.^o).. yupz.. he actually asked me how much it cost to take cab from school to my place.. i know clearly in my heart that he's planning to give me money to take cab home cause he cant send me home because his lessons ends at 6pm..
true enough... when he saw me during lunch hours, the first thing he did was to stuff money into my hand.. i didnt take.. the money was passed here and there and i struggled more than 10mins just to make him keep his money.. i said before.. i'm not a materialised girl... i dont need you to spend money on me de.. thanks for being so SWEET.. yupz.. so he became my walking stick during lunch.. so that Nad can rest.. tired you guys le.. *muackz* he got back his bioscience results also.. he got a A.. *fainted* ... die.. we got a bet between us.. if he do better than i did, he will have to punish.. same for me.. vice versa.. and the person who do badly will have to accept any punishment given by the person who do well.. just pray hard i can do well...
Jenny came to my house today.. cause Dad bought some health products from her.. had a talk with her.. and actually explain to her to stages of pressure ulcer when she show me some pictures of her cilents.. well.. Jenny is my collengue cum soulmate in my office... she knows lots of my stories.. after Dad came back.. i went back into my room... was on the phone with Junyuan.. we actually talked till 11plus like that.. he was simply too happy that he got an A for his bioscience.. and happily waiting to punish me.. *sobx* bad boy right?? somemore can tell me "nan ren bu huai nu ren bu ai" ((men dont be bad women dont love))... what logic sia!?! (=.=!?)
WEDNESDAY - well.. we had nafa today.. early morning.. i just saw someone i wouldnt want to see.. spoilt my mood..... they had a 2.4km run.. and something shocking happened... he had muscle cramp on both side of his legs.. and immediately.. he sat down causing his metabolism to drop.. the PE teacher actually instruct me to go buy 100Plus for him.. but then... when i returned.. he was already unconscious.. he cant bear the pain and he fainted.. *SHOCKED* i really got a shocked of my entire life.. goaty rang Mdm Quek.. and she came down with Mdm Qian.. while Mdm Quek try to call his mother, the ambulance and get to BP set...
Mdm Qian held his acupunture point under his nose.. wheread i'm holding on to the acupunture point at his hand.. i'm so scared.. he simply does not have any hand grip and his hands are freezing cold.. his eye balls involuntaryly rolling up.. can u imagine how scary it can be?? i held my back my tears.. i'm afraid that if he wakes up and see me cry, he will be worried.. Farhan and Nad were the ones supporting me.. asking me to be strong.. everything will be fine.. Do you still remember the horrifying question last saturday?? I'm so scared.. so scared that the question you ask will come true.. luckily... before the ambulance even arrive, Junyuan was awake already...
after he left.. my tears just involuntarily flowed out.. i cried.. telling Nad that if any thing really happened to him, i guess i will not have the courage to stay on his nursing anymore.. luckily.. he still know that i will worried and ring me immediately when he reaches the hospital.. thank you gohonzon.. while holding his hand, i prayed.. i chanted in my heart.. luckily nothing happened to you.. if not, what will happened to me ar? in the evening.. he slipped out of the house.. he insist on accompanying me to the doctor.. he knows clearly that if he dont go with me, i'll never go to the doctor.. thanks a lot.. when i see him, i just feel like hugging and telling him, "you really scare me..." but.. i cant.. cause i'm in the uniform.. representing the nurses.. so must be jian dian a bit... hahaz... yupz.. was quite painful going down the stairs.. see him so exhausted liao still must pei this gong zhu go see doctor.. i really feel so ashamed of myself.. heart aches as well.. no matter what.. please promise me to be there.. never leave me alone ar!!!!
THURDAY - oh well.. he didnt come school today.. his mom insist that he should rest at home for another day.. oh well.. it's thursday again.. for the past 3 weeks.. he has been missing his lessons on thursday.. thursday is e longest day of the whole week.. and so coincidentally.. he misses lessons every thursday.. i also dont know how i managed to survive without him in school.. especially when it's a long day... well.. we only got a period of bioscience in the morning followed by PIE.. after which.. at 3pm.. we have the "meet-the-principal" session.. so we have to miss our bioscience lesson..
after which.. from 5pm to 6pm.. it's ITE Cares.. oh well... it's a session that many will think that it's a waste of time... hahaz.. what ever it is.. it's part of our school time.. no choice.. we have no other alternatives to choose from.. heez.. well.. we almost had a quarrel.. he feels that everyone around him is worried for him.. giving him lots of pressure..asking him not to do this.. not to do that.. i know you dont meant to be so fustrated.. it's okie to pour out your frustration to me.. i guess you will feel better this way.. well.. i guess sometimes crying is a good way of releasing stress.. at least that's what i will do.. when i'm angry n really angry, i'll cry.. when i'm upset, i cry too.. and... i'll force myself to finish a tub of ice-cream.. ya.. i know it's fattening.. but it's a good way.. sometimes.. if i'm at home.. i do housework like mopping the floor.. those things that needs to exert lots of energy.. it's a way to release anger too..
FRIDAY - yupz.. today.. was a crucial day for me and many of those in our class.. we got back our bioscience results.. i got 38.5/50.. yupz.. it's a B.. i wanna aim for an A actually.. jus few more marks needed to achieve an A.. well.. it's my careless mistake.. shiffa, nad and farhan did quite well too.. but ramlan didnt make it.. well.. junyuan got even better results than me.. he got an A actually.. so.. i actually lost the "bet".. now.. he should be thinking of how to punish me i guess.. that's the bet between us actually... well well well... ren ming for this time.. kekez... *hugz*
ahhhh.... a week have just passed... test after test.. i'm getting a bit tired.. *exhausted* well.. bear with it!!!!! i tolerant!!!!! *TOLERANCE*... let's have a progress report on e past 1 week.. it's really happening....
MONDAY - hmmm.. early morning.. we had our very 1st bioscience test in e MLT... can u imagine that i dreamt of the questions?? lolx.. i just dreamt a little.. dreamt that i must study on my functions of skeletal system.. i dreamt about the examples of long bones..and e questions really came out.. oh man!!! i got a shocked of my entire life.. well.. this paper is considered quite an easy paper.. if i never do well, oh man!!! i'll go knock the wall... Junyuan ended school at 3pm.. so he went home before me.. i had my lessons till 5pm.. well.. he wants to come meet me for dinner.. but he had a terrible headache.. so he stayed at home instead... and then.... i had a terrible incident.. as usual.. bus31 is forever packed.. so i'll always spend some time to walk to another bus stop nearby to take bus10..
well.. monday blues huh.. monday is the start of the day.. yet a terrible day for me.. because.. all my buddies have interact club lohz.. Nad, Farhan, Shiffa and Ramlan... somemore that Mr.Tan end school so early.. end up... I will have to go back alone lohz.. no choice!!!! *sobx* oh man!!! i was happily sitting alone in the upper deck of the bus.. and happily giving way to those who wants to get down first.. and sadly.. "hao ren mei hao bao" ((good people never have good outcome))..... i templed down two steps.. oh man!! so embarrassing.. luckily never fall down.. just aching and my leg into an elephant leg in spilt seconds!!! luckily Junyuan not around.. if not, it will be more EMBARRASSING sia.. it's very embarrassing to fall in front of a guy or in front of someone you like.. GIRLS out there!!! AGREED?!?
i just dare not rub.. i scare it will get worse.. so all i did was to limp all the way home.. and told him what happened.. thanks for volunteering to rub for me.. but i think i'll cry sia.. wahahaz...
TUESDAY - well.. my leg was pretty swollen and red.. but.. i limped all the way to school.. it took me 15mins to walk to the bus-stop instead of the usual 5mins.. big different huh.. no choice.. and i know clearly tat Junyuan will feel like killing me.. cause I have already promised him that if my leg still swell, i'll go see a doctor and stay home to rest.. yup.. i know clearly that i will get a scolding.. so the clever me actually think through how to fight back.. hahaz.. my reason will be "i hurted my leg, but my brain"... kekez.. how stupid it can be.. no choice lahz.. i dont want to miss any of the lessons if possible.. cause it will never be easy to get replacement lessons.. Mdm Qian was shocked to see me limping all the way to her office early morning when she called upon requesting to see me.. the first thing she said was to ask me go home rest.. but insisted on staying in school..
i have wasted so much energy to limp all the way to school.. it will not be worthwhile if i'm going to limp all the way home again right?? luckily he will be only school at 9am.. and i'll only see him only during lunch hours at 12pm.. lolx.. it will delay the time i gonna get scolding from him.. i msg him and told him i limped all e way in school.. clever move.. let him voice out his anger through sms before getting scolding face to face.. lolx.. i know clearly you wont bear to scold me de.. hahaz(0^.^o).. yupz.. he actually asked me how much it cost to take cab from school to my place.. i know clearly in my heart that he's planning to give me money to take cab home cause he cant send me home because his lessons ends at 6pm..
true enough... when he saw me during lunch hours, the first thing he did was to stuff money into my hand.. i didnt take.. the money was passed here and there and i struggled more than 10mins just to make him keep his money.. i said before.. i'm not a materialised girl... i dont need you to spend money on me de.. thanks for being so SWEET.. yupz.. so he became my walking stick during lunch.. so that Nad can rest.. tired you guys le.. *muackz* he got back his bioscience results also.. he got a A.. *fainted* ... die.. we got a bet between us.. if he do better than i did, he will have to punish.. same for me.. vice versa.. and the person who do badly will have to accept any punishment given by the person who do well.. just pray hard i can do well...
Jenny came to my house today.. cause Dad bought some health products from her.. had a talk with her.. and actually explain to her to stages of pressure ulcer when she show me some pictures of her cilents.. well.. Jenny is my collengue cum soulmate in my office... she knows lots of my stories.. after Dad came back.. i went back into my room... was on the phone with Junyuan.. we actually talked till 11plus like that.. he was simply too happy that he got an A for his bioscience.. and happily waiting to punish me.. *sobx* bad boy right?? somemore can tell me "nan ren bu huai nu ren bu ai" ((men dont be bad women dont love))... what logic sia!?! (=.=!?)
WEDNESDAY - well.. we had nafa today.. early morning.. i just saw someone i wouldnt want to see.. spoilt my mood..... they had a 2.4km run.. and something shocking happened... he had muscle cramp on both side of his legs.. and immediately.. he sat down causing his metabolism to drop.. the PE teacher actually instruct me to go buy 100Plus for him.. but then... when i returned.. he was already unconscious.. he cant bear the pain and he fainted.. *SHOCKED* i really got a shocked of my entire life.. goaty rang Mdm Quek.. and she came down with Mdm Qian.. while Mdm Quek try to call his mother, the ambulance and get to BP set...
Mdm Qian held his acupunture point under his nose.. wheread i'm holding on to the acupunture point at his hand.. i'm so scared.. he simply does not have any hand grip and his hands are freezing cold.. his eye balls involuntaryly rolling up.. can u imagine how scary it can be?? i held my back my tears.. i'm afraid that if he wakes up and see me cry, he will be worried.. Farhan and Nad were the ones supporting me.. asking me to be strong.. everything will be fine.. Do you still remember the horrifying question last saturday?? I'm so scared.. so scared that the question you ask will come true.. luckily... before the ambulance even arrive, Junyuan was awake already...
after he left.. my tears just involuntarily flowed out.. i cried.. telling Nad that if any thing really happened to him, i guess i will not have the courage to stay on his nursing anymore.. luckily.. he still know that i will worried and ring me immediately when he reaches the hospital.. thank you gohonzon.. while holding his hand, i prayed.. i chanted in my heart.. luckily nothing happened to you.. if not, what will happened to me ar? in the evening.. he slipped out of the house.. he insist on accompanying me to the doctor.. he knows clearly that if he dont go with me, i'll never go to the doctor.. thanks a lot.. when i see him, i just feel like hugging and telling him, "you really scare me..." but.. i cant.. cause i'm in the uniform.. representing the nurses.. so must be jian dian a bit... hahaz... yupz.. was quite painful going down the stairs.. see him so exhausted liao still must pei this gong zhu go see doctor.. i really feel so ashamed of myself.. heart aches as well.. no matter what.. please promise me to be there.. never leave me alone ar!!!!
THURDAY - oh well.. he didnt come school today.. his mom insist that he should rest at home for another day.. oh well.. it's thursday again.. for the past 3 weeks.. he has been missing his lessons on thursday.. thursday is e longest day of the whole week.. and so coincidentally.. he misses lessons every thursday.. i also dont know how i managed to survive without him in school.. especially when it's a long day... well.. we only got a period of bioscience in the morning followed by PIE.. after which.. at 3pm.. we have the "meet-the-principal" session.. so we have to miss our bioscience lesson..
after which.. from 5pm to 6pm.. it's ITE Cares.. oh well... it's a session that many will think that it's a waste of time... hahaz.. what ever it is.. it's part of our school time.. no choice.. we have no other alternatives to choose from.. heez.. well.. we almost had a quarrel.. he feels that everyone around him is worried for him.. giving him lots of pressure..asking him not to do this.. not to do that.. i know you dont meant to be so fustrated.. it's okie to pour out your frustration to me.. i guess you will feel better this way.. well.. i guess sometimes crying is a good way of releasing stress.. at least that's what i will do.. when i'm angry n really angry, i'll cry.. when i'm upset, i cry too.. and... i'll force myself to finish a tub of ice-cream.. ya.. i know it's fattening.. but it's a good way.. sometimes.. if i'm at home.. i do housework like mopping the floor.. those things that needs to exert lots of energy.. it's a way to release anger too..
FRIDAY - yupz.. today.. was a crucial day for me and many of those in our class.. we got back our bioscience results.. i got 38.5/50.. yupz.. it's a B.. i wanna aim for an A actually.. jus few more marks needed to achieve an A.. well.. it's my careless mistake.. shiffa, nad and farhan did quite well too.. but ramlan didnt make it.. well.. junyuan got even better results than me.. he got an A actually.. so.. i actually lost the "bet".. now.. he should be thinking of how to punish me i guess.. that's the bet between us actually... well well well... ren ming for this time.. kekez... *hugz*
Sunday, May 13, 2007
[ i feel so contented!! ]
[ i feel so contented!!]
well.. 4weeks of school has passed.. many things happened.. from small things to BIG things.. from sad things to SWEET things.. ITE life is really filled with lots of excitement.. sometimes i'll get hypotension n sometimes HYPERTENSION.. well.. I just dont know how to put them in words.. well.. all i can say is.. I'm in a GREAT class.. JN0704C, I LOVE YOU!!
we got a change in class leader actually.. Aini has stepped down her post.. and now, Vin is our new class leader.. the rest of the committee members still remains.. I hope with a new class leader, things will get better.. I hope so!!!! well.. I jus gone through my very first phase test on tuesday.. well... good news to share i guess.. I PASSED!!! kekez.. the top student in my class is a GUY.. oh man! kind of disgrace lahz.. cant imagine we girls cant do better.. well.. He's Hadi actually.. Mdm Qian feel so proud of him.. cause he actually joined us another 1week later.. yet, he can do so well!! I'm proud of you too!! hahaz...
well.. tomorrow is our very first Bioscience test.. hmmm.. why am i still online?? i should be mugging on my bioscience huh... i'm having a bad flu actually.. well.. i did studied.. but it's yesterday.. lolx.. i went to study with Junyuan yesterday.. Nad, Shiffa, Farhan and Ramlan are all in school for their Interact club camp.. so left with me and Junyuan to study lohz...
feel quite weird at first.. a bit paiseh also.. hahaz.. but it has been a great experience studying with him.. both of us just feel like dozing off at Mac.. but luckily still managed to study from 3plus to 7pm like that.. he's kind of sad actually.. cos he cant get into the archery competition.. i also dont know how to comfort him.. feel so useless.. haiz.. but luckily he didnt emo through out.. if not, i wont know how to handle the situation.. dont worry Junyuan.. be it what happened, remember, I'll be by your side to suppport you.. "Believe in yourself, cause i Believe in you".... JIAYOU!!!
off to study!!
well.. 4weeks of school has passed.. many things happened.. from small things to BIG things.. from sad things to SWEET things.. ITE life is really filled with lots of excitement.. sometimes i'll get hypotension n sometimes HYPERTENSION.. well.. I just dont know how to put them in words.. well.. all i can say is.. I'm in a GREAT class.. JN0704C, I LOVE YOU!!
we got a change in class leader actually.. Aini has stepped down her post.. and now, Vin is our new class leader.. the rest of the committee members still remains.. I hope with a new class leader, things will get better.. I hope so!!!! well.. I jus gone through my very first phase test on tuesday.. well... good news to share i guess.. I PASSED!!! kekez.. the top student in my class is a GUY.. oh man! kind of disgrace lahz.. cant imagine we girls cant do better.. well.. He's Hadi actually.. Mdm Qian feel so proud of him.. cause he actually joined us another 1week later.. yet, he can do so well!! I'm proud of you too!! hahaz...
well.. tomorrow is our very first Bioscience test.. hmmm.. why am i still online?? i should be mugging on my bioscience huh... i'm having a bad flu actually.. well.. i did studied.. but it's yesterday.. lolx.. i went to study with Junyuan yesterday.. Nad, Shiffa, Farhan and Ramlan are all in school for their Interact club camp.. so left with me and Junyuan to study lohz...
feel quite weird at first.. a bit paiseh also.. hahaz.. but it has been a great experience studying with him.. both of us just feel like dozing off at Mac.. but luckily still managed to study from 3plus to 7pm like that.. he's kind of sad actually.. cos he cant get into the archery competition.. i also dont know how to comfort him.. feel so useless.. haiz.. but luckily he didnt emo through out.. if not, i wont know how to handle the situation.. dont worry Junyuan.. be it what happened, remember, I'll be by your side to suppport you.. "Believe in yourself, cause i Believe in you".... JIAYOU!!!
off to study!!
Saturday, April 21, 2007
“走一步，算一步！”
“走一步，算一步！”
LIFE at school as just as I expected.. TOUGH is the really the best word I can do describe.. Dont ever think that studying in ITE is easy life.. lolx.. That will be the most stupid way to think of it.. yup.. Like I say, nursing is super stress de.. Cause it's the only uniform group course in ITE.. other students from different school like ICT(Info-Com Technology), BCT(Bio-Chemical Technology), they wear the ITE normal school uniform.. only Nursing special.. well.. All i can say is that I still ADAPTINGgggggggg... yup.. still trying to cope..
I start school everyday at 8am in the morning.. because of that, I have to wake up at 4.45am every morning.. Actually from Yishun to Tampines, I can take bus 969 to school.. but this bus, every single also packed with many passengers.. so sometimes, I cant get have the chance to board the bus.. no choice.. now, everyday since Wednesday.. I'll take mrt to AMK and take bus 24 directly to school.. It will stop near the side gate of my school.. so I have to actually walk a short distance.. though starts at 8am..... We are asked to be in class by 7.45... if u reach after 8am.. sorry to say that the classroom's door will be closed.. the teacher wants us to be early in class so that we can have the the time to mark attendance and settle down..
so.. everyday, i'll be actually be in school by 7.30am.. still have to wait for my friends.. especially Nadiah (the 1st friend i made in the class).. cause till now, she still dont know which classroom will we be at for which lesson.. after which, we will have to wait for the SUPER packed lift and get to the 6th floor.. most of our lessons are held in the 6th floor.. even our lockers are at the 6th storey.. only tutorial and combined lecture will be at MLT (multi-lecture theatre).. lockers allocation is to 1locker to 2 students..
As for me.. more different.. cause i have 1 locker to myself.. Only class leaders, student leaders have such rights.. yup.. i'm the nominated one.. now, i'm the asst.leader of my class.. CLASS C, u rocks!! actually, i know that i can do it but i didnt wanna volunteer myself.. tired already.. after being a perfect in primary school, NCO in secondary, somemore district leader in my religion.. well.. a bit sick of hearing people saying that i got leadership potential.. kekez.. but well.. end up also got nominated..
as for the leader,aini in our class... the class dont really like her actually.. she volunteered herself that's why Mdm Qian (ourt class advisor) made her the leader.. she herself actually regretted the next min after she was appointed.. cause she know clearly that the class wont listen to her...
the unhappy incident actually happened on the 1st impression is has for everyone.. she has a SUPER LOUD voice.. but i can say, if i want to be LOUD, she's jus a quarter of mine.. for those who know me.. especially my follow NCOs, cadets and teacher in charge for NPCC... they should know.. the moment i shout, the whole batch of cadets will keep super quiet till u can hear mosquito flying near your ears.. THAT's ME!! the old me i should say.. The second bad impressin happened on the second day of school.. It was during our team-building game.. we played "amazing race" actually.. Aini actually screamed and shouted at us like as though we are her cadets.. I cant really blame her though i know it's wrong to do.. She used to be in NCC (Air), a uniform group student just like me..
well.. before we even have a talk with our CA, Mdm Qian about the appointment of leaders.. I had a talk with her with Farhan, our treasurer's presence.. I pointed out what she did during the Team-building and told her my opinion and point of view on that.. I told her: "It's a really WRONG thing to treat your follow classmates like your cadets.. Since we are your classmates, we hold a same status as you be it whether u are a leader or in term of age.." I'm sure Farhan agreed to what I say.. 3rd incident.. it happened after the appointment of leaders was announced to the class.. She just want to remind the class to submit some admit stuffs.. but her tone of voice was super wrong.. even i was shocked..
the teacher actually told the class to submit the admin stuff to me.. but.. she did the reminder.. she said: " Class, remember to submit the forms to ME tomorrow"... she said submit to HER.. well.. I dont care if she did this because she's the main, i'm the co-leader.. or she did this because she want to gain credits.. I dont care about it.. but it's the tone..
many of my classmates came to speak to me about her.. No one wants to listen to her.. even her closest friends whom she hang out with.. even when she call for class committee meeting yesterday.. The treasurer, the auditor, the welfares officers dont even give a shit to it.. this is the situation now.. I also dont know what to her.. I have spoken and gave my piece of advice for twice... but it's seems that it isnt the right time, the right moment.. nothing seems to get in her head.. well.. guess.. there's nothing i can do.. “走一步，算一步吧！”
LIFE at school as just as I expected.. TOUGH is the really the best word I can do describe.. Dont ever think that studying in ITE is easy life.. lolx.. That will be the most stupid way to think of it.. yup.. Like I say, nursing is super stress de.. Cause it's the only uniform group course in ITE.. other students from different school like ICT(Info-Com Technology), BCT(Bio-Chemical Technology), they wear the ITE normal school uniform.. only Nursing special.. well.. All i can say is that I still ADAPTINGgggggggg... yup.. still trying to cope..
I start school everyday at 8am in the morning.. because of that, I have to wake up at 4.45am every morning.. Actually from Yishun to Tampines, I can take bus 969 to school.. but this bus, every single also packed with many passengers.. so sometimes, I cant get have the chance to board the bus.. no choice.. now, everyday since Wednesday.. I'll take mrt to AMK and take bus 24 directly to school.. It will stop near the side gate of my school.. so I have to actually walk a short distance.. though starts at 8am..... We are asked to be in class by 7.45... if u reach after 8am.. sorry to say that the classroom's door will be closed.. the teacher wants us to be early in class so that we can have the the time to mark attendance and settle down..
so.. everyday, i'll be actually be in school by 7.30am.. still have to wait for my friends.. especially Nadiah (the 1st friend i made in the class).. cause till now, she still dont know which classroom will we be at for which lesson.. after which, we will have to wait for the SUPER packed lift and get to the 6th floor.. most of our lessons are held in the 6th floor.. even our lockers are at the 6th storey.. only tutorial and combined lecture will be at MLT (multi-lecture theatre).. lockers allocation is to 1locker to 2 students..
As for me.. more different.. cause i have 1 locker to myself.. Only class leaders, student leaders have such rights.. yup.. i'm the nominated one.. now, i'm the asst.leader of my class.. CLASS C, u rocks!! actually, i know that i can do it but i didnt wanna volunteer myself.. tired already.. after being a perfect in primary school, NCO in secondary, somemore district leader in my religion.. well.. a bit sick of hearing people saying that i got leadership potential.. kekez.. but well.. end up also got nominated..
as for the leader,aini in our class... the class dont really like her actually.. she volunteered herself that's why Mdm Qian (ourt class advisor) made her the leader.. she herself actually regretted the next min after she was appointed.. cause she know clearly that the class wont listen to her...
the unhappy incident actually happened on the 1st impression is has for everyone.. she has a SUPER LOUD voice.. but i can say, if i want to be LOUD, she's jus a quarter of mine.. for those who know me.. especially my follow NCOs, cadets and teacher in charge for NPCC... they should know.. the moment i shout, the whole batch of cadets will keep super quiet till u can hear mosquito flying near your ears.. THAT's ME!! the old me i should say.. The second bad impressin happened on the second day of school.. It was during our team-building game.. we played "amazing race" actually.. Aini actually screamed and shouted at us like as though we are her cadets.. I cant really blame her though i know it's wrong to do.. She used to be in NCC (Air), a uniform group student just like me..
well.. before we even have a talk with our CA, Mdm Qian about the appointment of leaders.. I had a talk with her with Farhan, our treasurer's presence.. I pointed out what she did during the Team-building and told her my opinion and point of view on that.. I told her: "It's a really WRONG thing to treat your follow classmates like your cadets.. Since we are your classmates, we hold a same status as you be it whether u are a leader or in term of age.." I'm sure Farhan agreed to what I say.. 3rd incident.. it happened after the appointment of leaders was announced to the class.. She just want to remind the class to submit some admit stuffs.. but her tone of voice was super wrong.. even i was shocked..
the teacher actually told the class to submit the admin stuff to me.. but.. she did the reminder.. she said: " Class, remember to submit the forms to ME tomorrow"... she said submit to HER.. well.. I dont care if she did this because she's the main, i'm the co-leader.. or she did this because she want to gain credits.. I dont care about it.. but it's the tone..
many of my classmates came to speak to me about her.. No one wants to listen to her.. even her closest friends whom she hang out with.. even when she call for class committee meeting yesterday.. The treasurer, the auditor, the welfares officers dont even give a shit to it.. this is the situation now.. I also dont know what to her.. I have spoken and gave my piece of advice for twice... but it's seems that it isnt the right time, the right moment.. nothing seems to get in her head.. well.. guess.. there's nothing i can do.. “走一步，算一步吧！”
Saturday, April 14, 2007
我想从新认识你！从新了解你！从新体会你的处境！
[ 我想从新认识你！从新了解你！从新体会你的处境！]
Well.. well.. It's been really quite long ago since I last blog.. hmmm.. I really feel like blogging everytime I get online.. BUT.. I'll just type e entry half way through and delete them.. I just dont know why.. MAYBE.. I just feel some things are just not meant to be shared to others.. some feelings are meant to be hidden..
Today.. It's e 14th of April.. yupz.. It's 2 more days before I start school.. Got quite some stuffs done already.. like.. my new bag for school.. paid the school fees already.. hmmm.. Just have to wait till school reopens before I can get my school uniform n textbooks.. oh well.. Iit's been 2 yrs since I graduated from secondary school le.. I actually tell mom that I'm trembling in my heart... I'm quite scared actually.. to actually go back school.. well.. cant blame me also.. I never study for 2 yrs le lehz.. I REPEAT!!!! TWO YEARS!!!!!
I'm a person who takes a very long time to adapt to new environment.. those who really know me deep inside should know.. lolx.. BUT.. as what Meng Har tell me yesterday night.. she said that I must chant a lot of daimoku to have to strong life-force to face any problem when I'm studying.. I know well enough that I will have a hard time struggling.. my studies, my gakkai activities which consists of SD, Byakuren, my own district and many of the SK Alumni activities.. BUT.. I HAVE NO REGRETS AT ALL!!!! 先苦后甜嘛！！！加油了！！罗苑文，你可以的！！lolx.. must be confident.. but NOT over confident!!
yupz.. It's been 1 month plus le.. ever since I got to know that incident.. It makes me think deeper into understanding someone.. How can I make sure I'm sensitive towards how others feel but only how I feel? How can I care for someone and make sure that person will not feel uneasy about it??
SOMETIMES I'll tell myself: " Jessica Loh, You dont have to bother so much. The lesser things u know, the lesser pain u will experience. " Especially when u know many things about someone, YET... you cant do anything that will help that person.. I really question myself.. WHY?? Why let me know so much about you?? and yet.. there's nothing I can do!! I really feel very bad.. 真的感觉无助！好无奈！MAYBE.. that's my WEAKNESS ba..
Whenever someone tells me his/her problems, I'll take it as my problem.. I'll find means and ways to help.. Is it because I'm too EMOTIONAL that's why I'm always easily AFFECTED?? “ 朋友的问题就是自己的问题。” 难道这是错的想法吗？难道要见死不救才是对的吗？可能Meng Har说得对。我必须学着去冷静。在遇到朋友或是自己的问题的时候，要学着去冷静，思考，这要一来，我能帮上的忙可能会比较大，对朋友或自己造成的伤害也可能会比较少！
To change a person, it might takes a lifetime.. just like Dad.. Mom tried changing him.. BUT.. I'm sure Dad isnt happy about about it.. SO does Mom.. 妈咪也一定像我一样觉得无奈，无助吧！she's right.. Dad really needs to change in some ways.. I recalled.. when I was young, Mom will always quarrelled with Dad and cry it front of me.. SO.. from young.. I have put myself in their problems.. and think from their point of view.. MAYBE.. that's the reason why I'm more matured as compared to many whose of the same age as me ba..
I can understand wanting to change someone u love is something u will do when u love a person.. We often would want our loved ones to be the way we want them to be.. to make them perfect.. BUT... in many case, we would actually forget to listen to what our loved ones would want to say.. This is not sparing a thought for them le.. Though we might think, we want to change that person it's because this shouldnt be e way.. If we do care, we would accept the way they are now BUT definitely not forcing them to be the way we think they should be.. very EMO huh....
I have already learnt to accept the way u are now.. and hoping to know u once again!! 我想从新认识你！从新了解你！从新体会你的处境！all thanks to Meng Har.. after having a dialogue with her, she really shared a lot and makes me think through deeply.. she's right.. though I never tell her about that incident (cos i CANT).. BUT somehow.. what she said has been put to use IMMEDIATELY!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!
“在每个人的生命里，除了爱情，还有恩情和责任。”I'm very thankful to my mom actually.. Dad n Mom really lots of problems even before me and my brother are born.. guess things has got worse after me and my brother are born.. BUT.. she didnt give up.. she didnt give up on us.. because of the word : 责任！it's no longer “爱情” but “责任”.. her 责任 as a mother.. that's what i'm thankful about..
“不要害怕爱人与被爱。虽然可能会碰钉子或受伤，但每段感情总会有让你开心的时候。” this para of words was published in the i-weekly. quite meaning huh.. Yupz.. I quite touched by it.. but... all u need is e word : FATE..
朋友们，学着珍惜眼前人！！
Well.. well.. It's been really quite long ago since I last blog.. hmmm.. I really feel like blogging everytime I get online.. BUT.. I'll just type e entry half way through and delete them.. I just dont know why.. MAYBE.. I just feel some things are just not meant to be shared to others.. some feelings are meant to be hidden..
Today.. It's e 14th of April.. yupz.. It's 2 more days before I start school.. Got quite some stuffs done already.. like.. my new bag for school.. paid the school fees already.. hmmm.. Just have to wait till school reopens before I can get my school uniform n textbooks.. oh well.. Iit's been 2 yrs since I graduated from secondary school le.. I actually tell mom that I'm trembling in my heart... I'm quite scared actually.. to actually go back school.. well.. cant blame me also.. I never study for 2 yrs le lehz.. I REPEAT!!!! TWO YEARS!!!!!
I'm a person who takes a very long time to adapt to new environment.. those who really know me deep inside should know.. lolx.. BUT.. as what Meng Har tell me yesterday night.. she said that I must chant a lot of daimoku to have to strong life-force to face any problem when I'm studying.. I know well enough that I will have a hard time struggling.. my studies, my gakkai activities which consists of SD, Byakuren, my own district and many of the SK Alumni activities.. BUT.. I HAVE NO REGRETS AT ALL!!!! 先苦后甜嘛！！！加油了！！罗苑文，你可以的！！lolx.. must be confident.. but NOT over confident!!
yupz.. It's been 1 month plus le.. ever since I got to know that incident.. It makes me think deeper into understanding someone.. How can I make sure I'm sensitive towards how others feel but only how I feel? How can I care for someone and make sure that person will not feel uneasy about it??
SOMETIMES I'll tell myself: " Jessica Loh, You dont have to bother so much. The lesser things u know, the lesser pain u will experience. " Especially when u know many things about someone, YET... you cant do anything that will help that person.. I really question myself.. WHY?? Why let me know so much about you?? and yet.. there's nothing I can do!! I really feel very bad.. 真的感觉无助！好无奈！MAYBE.. that's my WEAKNESS ba..
Whenever someone tells me his/her problems, I'll take it as my problem.. I'll find means and ways to help.. Is it because I'm too EMOTIONAL that's why I'm always easily AFFECTED?? “ 朋友的问题就是自己的问题。” 难道这是错的想法吗？难道要见死不救才是对的吗？可能Meng Har说得对。我必须学着去冷静。在遇到朋友或是自己的问题的时候，要学着去冷静，思考，这要一来，我能帮上的忙可能会比较大，对朋友或自己造成的伤害也可能会比较少！
To change a person, it might takes a lifetime.. just like Dad.. Mom tried changing him.. BUT.. I'm sure Dad isnt happy about about it.. SO does Mom.. 妈咪也一定像我一样觉得无奈，无助吧！she's right.. Dad really needs to change in some ways.. I recalled.. when I was young, Mom will always quarrelled with Dad and cry it front of me.. SO.. from young.. I have put myself in their problems.. and think from their point of view.. MAYBE.. that's the reason why I'm more matured as compared to many whose of the same age as me ba..
I can understand wanting to change someone u love is something u will do when u love a person.. We often would want our loved ones to be the way we want them to be.. to make them perfect.. BUT... in many case, we would actually forget to listen to what our loved ones would want to say.. This is not sparing a thought for them le.. Though we might think, we want to change that person it's because this shouldnt be e way.. If we do care, we would accept the way they are now BUT definitely not forcing them to be the way we think they should be.. very EMO huh....
I have already learnt to accept the way u are now.. and hoping to know u once again!! 我想从新认识你！从新了解你！从新体会你的处境！all thanks to Meng Har.. after having a dialogue with her, she really shared a lot and makes me think through deeply.. she's right.. though I never tell her about that incident (cos i CANT).. BUT somehow.. what she said has been put to use IMMEDIATELY!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!
“在每个人的生命里，除了爱情，还有恩情和责任。”I'm very thankful to my mom actually.. Dad n Mom really lots of problems even before me and my brother are born.. guess things has got worse after me and my brother are born.. BUT.. she didnt give up.. she didnt give up on us.. because of the word : 责任！it's no longer “爱情” but “责任”.. her 责任 as a mother.. that's what i'm thankful about..
“不要害怕爱人与被爱。虽然可能会碰钉子或受伤，但每段感情总会有让你开心的时候。” this para of words was published in the i-weekly. quite meaning huh.. Yupz.. I quite touched by it.. but... all u need is e word : FATE..
朋友们，学着珍惜眼前人！！
Saturday, March 24, 2007
* 一個感人的愛情故事 *
* 一個感人的愛情故事 *
有一個年輕人喜歡上了在便利商店打工的女孩,
他每天都會到女孩工作的店裡面買一包香煙,
漸漸的兩人開始互相熟悉,
當女孩工作感到無聊乏味的時候,
年輕人就會出現,他會陪女孩說說話 ,
或是逗女孩開心.
女孩也知道年輕人似乎喜歡上自己了,
可是自己已經有很要好的男友.有商店夾公仔機...
女孩很喜歡裡面的娃娃,
年輕人知道以後,
當天他終於對她表白,
希望女孩能接受他,
不知如何是好的女孩,
只能殘忍的告訴年輕人,
她和他是不可能的,
因為她已經有深愛的男友了,
年輕人聽了之後默然的點點頭,
他不死心的問女孩,
自己真的沒有機會了嗎?
善良的女孩不忍心....
於是她手指著娃娃機裡面的絨毛娃娃說,
除非你夾滿100個娃娃,
而且一天只能夾一個.
原來女孩希望用時間來沖淡年輕人對自己的感情,
她心想,一天夾1個娃娃,
最快也要三個多月之後才有100個,
而且年輕人應該不會真的有耐心夾滿100個娃娃吧.
這三個月的時間,
她會盡量與男孩保持距離,
年輕人還是每天到商店來,
可是女孩開始變得冷淡,
他總是試著聊一些女孩有興趣的話題,
不過女孩依然愛理不理.
因為她知道唯有這樣做,
才不會讓年輕人越陷越深.
年輕人或許是感覺到女孩的用意,
於是他每天夾娃娃,
有時運氣好夾一兩次就中了,
有時運氣差,
零用錢花光了也夾不到,
只好跟朋友借錢繼續夾,
一直到夾中為止.
無論花多少錢花多少時間,
他每天一定會夾一個娃娃,
只是他無法與女孩分享夾到娃娃的喜悅,
因為他知道女孩有意要避開他,
為了怕引響到女孩的情緒,
他只能在櫥窗外頭微笑的對女孩點點頭.好幾次,
看到年輕人因為夾到娃娃興高采烈的樣子,
女孩都想要衝出去對他說,
我是騙你的,你不要再夾了,
就算你真的夾到100個娃娃,我跟你也是不可能的!
但是一想到年輕人希望破滅的樣子,
女孩就於心不忍,
她只能不斷猶豫.
就這樣1 天,2天,3天...
年輕人的娃娃數量不斷的累積,
而女孩刻意與年輕人保持距離的結果,
則是讓自己在工作的時後更顯孤單.
不知道是哪一天,
女孩子因為在外地工作的男友無法回來陪她過18歲的生日,
與男友吵了一架,
而那天年輕人仍一如往常的來到便利商店,
不同的是那天年輕人竟走進了店裡,
他對女孩說,
可不可以破例讓他在今天夾兩個娃娃回去,
可是因為和男友吵架而心情不佳的女孩,
很生氣的當場拒絕了他.
就這樣,
年輕人走到娃娃機旁,
默默的夾了一個娃娃回去,
在年輕人離開的時後,
他對櫥窗裡的女孩看了一眼.隔天以後,
年輕人再也沒來夾娃娃了.
剛開始女孩雖然覺得奇怪,
但是仍然慶幸自己終於放下了心中的大石頭.
可是漸漸的,
她突然覺得不習慣,
因為那個每天都會為了她來夾娃娃的熟悉背影,
好像空氣一樣就消失不見了,
這時女孩才發現到,
原來她心中的失落感遠遠超過年輕人所帶給她的負擔.
只是一切都...
女孩開始想念以前年輕人來店裡陪她聊天的點點滴滴.
哪怕他只是站在櫥窗外頭沉默不語的夾娃娃,
似乎都會帶給她莫名的安全感.
所以女孩每天上班時,
總是不斷的抬頭張望,
那個熟悉的身影來了嗎?
可惜的是,
年輕人始終沒出現,
只剩下那台沒人使用的娃娃機.
有一天,
女孩下班後,
在店門口遇到了以前常和年輕人一起來的朋友,
她焦急的問他年輕人的下落,
可是年輕人的朋友則是一臉黯然,
他帶女孩來到年輕人的家,
當他開啟年輕人的房間的門時,
映入女孩眼簾的是
一群娃娃機裡面的絨毛娃娃,
以及躺在床上動也不動的年輕人.
原來年輕人的脊椎有病,
必須要開刀才能保住生命,
可是開刀有一半的機率會失敗而導致全身癱瘓,
年輕人在開刀的前一天晚上,
也就是女孩和男友大吵一架的那天,
希望女孩給他機會夾2個娃娃,
因為他已經累積有98個了,
然而卻遭到女孩的回絕,
隔天之後年輕人手術不幸失敗變成植物人,
年輕人的母親拿了一封信給女孩,
那是年輕人在手術之前寫好的:
其實我早就知道,就算夾到了100個娃娃,
妳也不可能會喜歡我,
我之所以這麼做並不是故意要造成妳的困擾,
而是希望在我有限的時間裡,
證明我曾經很用心的去愛一個人,
這樣就足夠了,
如果妳看到了這封信,
那表示我再也無法為你夾娃娃了,
對不起,
或許我的努力還不夠吧,
沒能夾到100個娃娃親手送給你..
女孩看著床邊的99個絨毛娃娃,
那是99顆無法承受的真心,
眼眶裡的淚水早已決堤而出...
隔天女孩來到年輕人的家,
她將第100個絨毛娃娃放到年輕人的手中,
這時已經變成植物人的他,
眼睛流下了淚水...
It's very touching.. the guy felt so much that he wasnt able 2 win the girl's heart maybe bcos he didnt try hard enough.. so wat if we put our heart n soul in2 loving someone?? it takes 2 hands 2 clap.. jus like e girl.. she's so persistant tat they cant be 2gether.. be it how hard e guy tried, it gonna be e same ending.. wat is urs will be urs.. wat is not urs will nv be urs even if u try very hard.. this is fate..
有一個年輕人喜歡上了在便利商店打工的女孩,
他每天都會到女孩工作的店裡面買一包香煙,
漸漸的兩人開始互相熟悉,
當女孩工作感到無聊乏味的時候,
年輕人就會出現,他會陪女孩說說話 ,
或是逗女孩開心.
女孩也知道年輕人似乎喜歡上自己了,
可是自己已經有很要好的男友.有商店夾公仔機...
女孩很喜歡裡面的娃娃,
年輕人知道以後,
當天他終於對她表白,
希望女孩能接受他,
不知如何是好的女孩,
只能殘忍的告訴年輕人,
她和他是不可能的,
因為她已經有深愛的男友了,
年輕人聽了之後默然的點點頭,
他不死心的問女孩,
自己真的沒有機會了嗎?
善良的女孩不忍心....
於是她手指著娃娃機裡面的絨毛娃娃說,
除非你夾滿100個娃娃,
而且一天只能夾一個.
原來女孩希望用時間來沖淡年輕人對自己的感情,
她心想,一天夾1個娃娃,
最快也要三個多月之後才有100個,
而且年輕人應該不會真的有耐心夾滿100個娃娃吧.
這三個月的時間,
她會盡量與男孩保持距離,
年輕人還是每天到商店來,
可是女孩開始變得冷淡,
他總是試著聊一些女孩有興趣的話題,
不過女孩依然愛理不理.
因為她知道唯有這樣做,
才不會讓年輕人越陷越深.
年輕人或許是感覺到女孩的用意,
於是他每天夾娃娃,
有時運氣好夾一兩次就中了,
有時運氣差,
零用錢花光了也夾不到,
只好跟朋友借錢繼續夾,
一直到夾中為止.
無論花多少錢花多少時間,
他每天一定會夾一個娃娃,
只是他無法與女孩分享夾到娃娃的喜悅,
因為他知道女孩有意要避開他,
為了怕引響到女孩的情緒,
他只能在櫥窗外頭微笑的對女孩點點頭.好幾次,
看到年輕人因為夾到娃娃興高采烈的樣子,
女孩都想要衝出去對他說,
我是騙你的,你不要再夾了,
就算你真的夾到100個娃娃,我跟你也是不可能的!
但是一想到年輕人希望破滅的樣子,
女孩就於心不忍,
她只能不斷猶豫.
就這樣1 天,2天,3天...
年輕人的娃娃數量不斷的累積,
而女孩刻意與年輕人保持距離的結果,
則是讓自己在工作的時後更顯孤單.
不知道是哪一天,
女孩子因為在外地工作的男友無法回來陪她過18歲的生日,
與男友吵了一架,
而那天年輕人仍一如往常的來到便利商店,
不同的是那天年輕人竟走進了店裡,
他對女孩說,
可不可以破例讓他在今天夾兩個娃娃回去,
可是因為和男友吵架而心情不佳的女孩,
很生氣的當場拒絕了他.
就這樣,
年輕人走到娃娃機旁,
默默的夾了一個娃娃回去,
在年輕人離開的時後,
他對櫥窗裡的女孩看了一眼.隔天以後,
年輕人再也沒來夾娃娃了.
剛開始女孩雖然覺得奇怪,
但是仍然慶幸自己終於放下了心中的大石頭.
可是漸漸的,
她突然覺得不習慣,
因為那個每天都會為了她來夾娃娃的熟悉背影,
好像空氣一樣就消失不見了,
這時女孩才發現到,
原來她心中的失落感遠遠超過年輕人所帶給她的負擔.
只是一切都...
女孩開始想念以前年輕人來店裡陪她聊天的點點滴滴.
哪怕他只是站在櫥窗外頭沉默不語的夾娃娃,
似乎都會帶給她莫名的安全感.
所以女孩每天上班時,
總是不斷的抬頭張望,
那個熟悉的身影來了嗎?
可惜的是,
年輕人始終沒出現,
只剩下那台沒人使用的娃娃機.
有一天,
女孩下班後,
在店門口遇到了以前常和年輕人一起來的朋友,
她焦急的問他年輕人的下落,
可是年輕人的朋友則是一臉黯然,
他帶女孩來到年輕人的家,
當他開啟年輕人的房間的門時,
映入女孩眼簾的是
一群娃娃機裡面的絨毛娃娃,
以及躺在床上動也不動的年輕人.
原來年輕人的脊椎有病,
必須要開刀才能保住生命,
可是開刀有一半的機率會失敗而導致全身癱瘓,
年輕人在開刀的前一天晚上,
也就是女孩和男友大吵一架的那天,
希望女孩給他機會夾2個娃娃,
因為他已經累積有98個了,
然而卻遭到女孩的回絕,
隔天之後年輕人手術不幸失敗變成植物人,
年輕人的母親拿了一封信給女孩,
那是年輕人在手術之前寫好的:
其實我早就知道,就算夾到了100個娃娃,
妳也不可能會喜歡我,
我之所以這麼做並不是故意要造成妳的困擾,
而是希望在我有限的時間裡,
證明我曾經很用心的去愛一個人,
這樣就足夠了,
如果妳看到了這封信,
那表示我再也無法為你夾娃娃了,
對不起,
或許我的努力還不夠吧,
沒能夾到100個娃娃親手送給你..
女孩看著床邊的99個絨毛娃娃,
那是99顆無法承受的真心,
眼眶裡的淚水早已決堤而出...
隔天女孩來到年輕人的家,
她將第100個絨毛娃娃放到年輕人的手中,
這時已經變成植物人的他,
眼睛流下了淚水...
It's very touching.. the guy felt so much that he wasnt able 2 win the girl's heart maybe bcos he didnt try hard enough.. so wat if we put our heart n soul in2 loving someone?? it takes 2 hands 2 clap.. jus like e girl.. she's so persistant tat they cant be 2gether.. be it how hard e guy tried, it gonna be e same ending.. wat is urs will be urs.. wat is not urs will nv be urs even if u try very hard.. this is fate..
Saturday, March 17, 2007
i'm accepting wat i supposed & expected to accept..
*i'm accepting wat i supposed n expected 2 accept *
i jus realised tat i'm alread startin 2 accept wat i supposed n expected 2 accept.. it's been 6days since i noe e "truth".. i can sae tat it has been a big blow 2 mi at 1st.. it's nv been easy 4 mi 2 give up.. but after knowing the truth.. it's making mi feel worse.. it was a double blow 2 mi.. sae truely.. i cried myself 2 slp tat nitez.. i noe it's realli silly n foolish 2 do tat.. but i jus cant help being so silly n foolish.. by hearing sum1 telling mi tis.. it's realli so impossible tat tis has been e case.. but seeing it myself.. it's realli heartbrokening.. i hav nv imagine tat would be case.. i hav nv come across such a situation.. mayb tat's e reason i need more time than anybody 2 accept it.. or bcos i'm jus steorotype.. anyway.. i mus thk tat person who told mi tis.. it has nv contribute 2 helpin mi let go.. but.. at least i understand y things didnt work out.. i hav nv blame u (e person who told mi) nor him.. dun worry.. i'll be okie.. it's jus TIME tat i need.. no matter wat, i still treat him as a fren.. seriously..
for watever reason it can be.. i have to ACCEPT.. jus accept.. i cant talk to anyone abt tis.. all i can is 2 type my feelings out here.. n without reviewing wat i'm refering to as well.. it's a promise.. somethingy tat i mus bring along wif mi in2 my coffin.. it sound like someone has committed a crime n i mus help 2 hide yupz?? anyway.. is jus someone's privacy.. i reall hav no rights n say in anythingy.. be it whether can i accept it or not, whether i'm sad or crying over it.. it's jus my personal opinion n point of view.. yupz.. it's my blog.. so i tink it's alright 2 voice wat i wanna sae here yupz? hmmm... okie.. JESSICA LOH, STOP DWELLING IN THIS INCIDENT!!! WAKE UP!!!!
hmmm.. on thurs.. was feeling itchy all over my body..yester.. i didnt go work.. was developin some feng mo.. patches n patches of red spots all over my body.. i couldnt even on e fan when i slp!!!! oh man!! went back 2 clementi 2 c my family doc.. hmmm.. i simply cant trust doc at yishun.. lolx.. mayb jus not used 2 it ba.. went 4 medical check up yester as well.. 2 save e trouble of taking leave as well.. i took a chest x-ray, urine test n 2 blood tests.. so 2 tubes of blood are taken away.. my blood vessels are jus too difficult 2 be located.. they are too small 2 be seen.. so it's kind of painful 4 mi when taking blood..
hmm.. guess it's gonna be part of my job.. i'm jus getting used 2 it.. oh ya.. for those whom i didnt mentioned 2 personally.. i shall break e news here.. hopin u will c it?? lolx.. i goin back 2 sch in APRIL!!! yupz.. 16th april!!! HOORAY!!! getting in2 NURSING course.. my life-long career.. in either nyp or simei ite.. cos my maths.. many shld noe i'm weak in tis subject.. got a d7 during my o's.. ite alread accepted my application.. i'm glad.. though many thinks tat it isnt e place i shld be in.. but i feel it's alread 2 study in ite.. it's still a school wif teachers.. a place leading mi 2 my dream.. i read thru a book n came across tis paragraph of words ...
" Once u're accepted by a school - even if it is nt ur 1st choice n regardless of how society judges it - it's impt 4 u 2 decide tat e school u're goin 2 is e perfect place 4 u to learn all u want to learn. This attitude is far more constructive in e long run. And dont allow ur confidence to be undermined by e opinions of others. "
yupz.. i gonna bring tis paragraph wif mi all e time..
hmm.. er jie's grandma passed away.. attended e wake twice.. once on thurs n another yester.. went wif a bunch of NP peeps actuall on thurs.. n saw my MIA jie, Steph (goh).. guess she's doin pretty well in uni now.. tat's gd.. as 4 my jie fu, Jiafeng.. he graduated frm NP le.. now waiting 2 be enlisted.. Xueyun da jie didnt did tat well in her exams.. seeing her lookin tired realli makes mi feel heartbroken ne!! as 4 Jaymie.. i'm glad tat she's doin fine nw.. had a great talk wif her when we are on our way home.. yupz.. i hopin wat i sae can touches her heart.. as 4 Shanice.. yupz.. she's havin her holi too.. so gd ne!! jus feel like laughing when she's so reactive when i mentioned something.. cant sae it out here.. wahahaz.. yupz.. didnt expect she noe oso..
hmmm.. went wif Benny 2 e wake yester nitez.. actuall supposed 2 be wif him n teck kun de.. but teck kun got ymd mtg.. so went Benny instead.. he was late.. but at least he inform mi.. onli 15mins late.. not as terrible as Cat, Steph, Rachel or Xianyun.. this 4 frenz of mine.. they each break many records in my life.. can wait 2hrs 4 them de.. back 2 subject.. tat sotong Benny took mrt from somerset.. he's supposed 2 drop at cityhall or raffles place 2 change 2 east-west line.. but instead.. he took e mrt 2 marina bay.. n when he too back 2 cityhall/raffles place, e mrt door closed in front of him.. tat blur king.. alamak!~ hmm.. anw.. at least he inform mi.. okie.. 4given.. reall crack lots of jokes at e wake.. when we are nt supposed 2 be.. n get 2 noe a NP senior, "da" Weiliang.. yupz.. he reall can talk.. i tink William's ears hurts.. lolx.. he talks non-stop e whole nitez..
end up, mi, er jie n Benny kept whisperin 2 one another in front of him.. feel kinda of bad actuall.. mayb bcos he didnt c William 4 very long le.. so there's a lot he wanna find out ba.. let's hav a embracing heart 2 everyone ard us.. yupz.. simply cant stand Benny, er jie n William.. they are jus scary creatures on earth.. i alwaz gana shoot.. but alwaz nv fight back de.. mayb i'm jus wat Benny sae when William/er jie ask mi talk back.. i'm nt tat type who fight back.. lolx.. it reall mus depend on e situation.. mayb bcos i took medi yester.. so was kind of blur too... i feel tat i kind of emo yester.. kind of tired after takin medi n 2 tubes of blood.. i feel e weakness in mi..
had a talk wif Benny yester b4 we reach e place.. hmmm.. he didnt reall do tat well in poly.. n was kind of impossible 4 him 2 get in2 uni.. u can do it de!! dun limit urself!! jiayou!! so he's nw waiting 2 be enlisted.. hmmm... another NS man.. again.. he's a trainer in NDP again.. n he's afraid he will be enlisted b4 e NDP ends.. chant harder ba.. i'll send u daimoku too.. jus realised he's in gym core actuall.. n he's Kevin's senior in NP.. lolx.. i hope u can encourage him yupz.. he's realli kind of blur in e goal n direction he wants 2 b in.. n kind of immature.. i went hm alone.. but er jie n Benny sent mi 2 mrt station.. they are startin their manjong session.. n they actuall played till 7am tis morning.. pro.. i wanted 2 stay.. didnt reall wanna go hm since i'm nt workin 2dae.. but i cant.. mom will jus chop mi off.. but i oso dunoe how 2 play manjong.. so i stay oso cannot do anythingy much..
i'm havin a bad headache 2dae.. like i sae.. i'm emo-ing yester nitez.. i cried again.. i dunoe y oso.. mayb there's too many probz i'm facing now ba.. worrying.. worryin 4 my medical report.. want feeling well.. so didnt attend e wake 2dae.. so sorrie er jie..
jenny came 2 visit mi at hm 2dae.. yupz.. i'm fine.. i'm okie.. dun worry..
i jus realised tat i'm alread startin 2 accept wat i supposed n expected 2 accept.. it's been 6days since i noe e "truth".. i can sae tat it has been a big blow 2 mi at 1st.. it's nv been easy 4 mi 2 give up.. but after knowing the truth.. it's making mi feel worse.. it was a double blow 2 mi.. sae truely.. i cried myself 2 slp tat nitez.. i noe it's realli silly n foolish 2 do tat.. but i jus cant help being so silly n foolish.. by hearing sum1 telling mi tis.. it's realli so impossible tat tis has been e case.. but seeing it myself.. it's realli heartbrokening.. i hav nv imagine tat would be case.. i hav nv come across such a situation.. mayb tat's e reason i need more time than anybody 2 accept it.. or bcos i'm jus steorotype.. anyway.. i mus thk tat person who told mi tis.. it has nv contribute 2 helpin mi let go.. but.. at least i understand y things didnt work out.. i hav nv blame u (e person who told mi) nor him.. dun worry.. i'll be okie.. it's jus TIME tat i need.. no matter wat, i still treat him as a fren.. seriously..
for watever reason it can be.. i have to ACCEPT.. jus accept.. i cant talk to anyone abt tis.. all i can is 2 type my feelings out here.. n without reviewing wat i'm refering to as well.. it's a promise.. somethingy tat i mus bring along wif mi in2 my coffin.. it sound like someone has committed a crime n i mus help 2 hide yupz?? anyway.. is jus someone's privacy.. i reall hav no rights n say in anythingy.. be it whether can i accept it or not, whether i'm sad or crying over it.. it's jus my personal opinion n point of view.. yupz.. it's my blog.. so i tink it's alright 2 voice wat i wanna sae here yupz? hmmm... okie.. JESSICA LOH, STOP DWELLING IN THIS INCIDENT!!! WAKE UP!!!!
hmmm.. on thurs.. was feeling itchy all over my body..yester.. i didnt go work.. was developin some feng mo.. patches n patches of red spots all over my body.. i couldnt even on e fan when i slp!!!! oh man!! went back 2 clementi 2 c my family doc.. hmmm.. i simply cant trust doc at yishun.. lolx.. mayb jus not used 2 it ba.. went 4 medical check up yester as well.. 2 save e trouble of taking leave as well.. i took a chest x-ray, urine test n 2 blood tests.. so 2 tubes of blood are taken away.. my blood vessels are jus too difficult 2 be located.. they are too small 2 be seen.. so it's kind of painful 4 mi when taking blood..
hmm.. guess it's gonna be part of my job.. i'm jus getting used 2 it.. oh ya.. for those whom i didnt mentioned 2 personally.. i shall break e news here.. hopin u will c it?? lolx.. i goin back 2 sch in APRIL!!! yupz.. 16th april!!! HOORAY!!! getting in2 NURSING course.. my life-long career.. in either nyp or simei ite.. cos my maths.. many shld noe i'm weak in tis subject.. got a d7 during my o's.. ite alread accepted my application.. i'm glad.. though many thinks tat it isnt e place i shld be in.. but i feel it's alread 2 study in ite.. it's still a school wif teachers.. a place leading mi 2 my dream.. i read thru a book n came across tis paragraph of words ...
" Once u're accepted by a school - even if it is nt ur 1st choice n regardless of how society judges it - it's impt 4 u 2 decide tat e school u're goin 2 is e perfect place 4 u to learn all u want to learn. This attitude is far more constructive in e long run. And dont allow ur confidence to be undermined by e opinions of others. "
yupz.. i gonna bring tis paragraph wif mi all e time..
hmm.. er jie's grandma passed away.. attended e wake twice.. once on thurs n another yester.. went wif a bunch of NP peeps actuall on thurs.. n saw my MIA jie, Steph (goh).. guess she's doin pretty well in uni now.. tat's gd.. as 4 my jie fu, Jiafeng.. he graduated frm NP le.. now waiting 2 be enlisted.. Xueyun da jie didnt did tat well in her exams.. seeing her lookin tired realli makes mi feel heartbroken ne!! as 4 Jaymie.. i'm glad tat she's doin fine nw.. had a great talk wif her when we are on our way home.. yupz.. i hopin wat i sae can touches her heart.. as 4 Shanice.. yupz.. she's havin her holi too.. so gd ne!! jus feel like laughing when she's so reactive when i mentioned something.. cant sae it out here.. wahahaz.. yupz.. didnt expect she noe oso..
hmmm.. went wif Benny 2 e wake yester nitez.. actuall supposed 2 be wif him n teck kun de.. but teck kun got ymd mtg.. so went Benny instead.. he was late.. but at least he inform mi.. onli 15mins late.. not as terrible as Cat, Steph, Rachel or Xianyun.. this 4 frenz of mine.. they each break many records in my life.. can wait 2hrs 4 them de.. back 2 subject.. tat sotong Benny took mrt from somerset.. he's supposed 2 drop at cityhall or raffles place 2 change 2 east-west line.. but instead.. he took e mrt 2 marina bay.. n when he too back 2 cityhall/raffles place, e mrt door closed in front of him.. tat blur king.. alamak!~ hmm.. anw.. at least he inform mi.. okie.. 4given.. reall crack lots of jokes at e wake.. when we are nt supposed 2 be.. n get 2 noe a NP senior, "da" Weiliang.. yupz.. he reall can talk.. i tink William's ears hurts.. lolx.. he talks non-stop e whole nitez..
end up, mi, er jie n Benny kept whisperin 2 one another in front of him.. feel kinda of bad actuall.. mayb bcos he didnt c William 4 very long le.. so there's a lot he wanna find out ba.. let's hav a embracing heart 2 everyone ard us.. yupz.. simply cant stand Benny, er jie n William.. they are jus scary creatures on earth.. i alwaz gana shoot.. but alwaz nv fight back de.. mayb i'm jus wat Benny sae when William/er jie ask mi talk back.. i'm nt tat type who fight back.. lolx.. it reall mus depend on e situation.. mayb bcos i took medi yester.. so was kind of blur too... i feel tat i kind of emo yester.. kind of tired after takin medi n 2 tubes of blood.. i feel e weakness in mi..
had a talk wif Benny yester b4 we reach e place.. hmmm.. he didnt reall do tat well in poly.. n was kind of impossible 4 him 2 get in2 uni.. u can do it de!! dun limit urself!! jiayou!! so he's nw waiting 2 be enlisted.. hmmm... another NS man.. again.. he's a trainer in NDP again.. n he's afraid he will be enlisted b4 e NDP ends.. chant harder ba.. i'll send u daimoku too.. jus realised he's in gym core actuall.. n he's Kevin's senior in NP.. lolx.. i hope u can encourage him yupz.. he's realli kind of blur in e goal n direction he wants 2 b in.. n kind of immature.. i went hm alone.. but er jie n Benny sent mi 2 mrt station.. they are startin their manjong session.. n they actuall played till 7am tis morning.. pro.. i wanted 2 stay.. didnt reall wanna go hm since i'm nt workin 2dae.. but i cant.. mom will jus chop mi off.. but i oso dunoe how 2 play manjong.. so i stay oso cannot do anythingy much..
i'm havin a bad headache 2dae.. like i sae.. i'm emo-ing yester nitez.. i cried again.. i dunoe y oso.. mayb there's too many probz i'm facing now ba.. worrying.. worryin 4 my medical report.. want feeling well.. so didnt attend e wake 2dae.. so sorrie er jie..
jenny came 2 visit mi at hm 2dae.. yupz.. i'm fine.. i'm okie.. dun worry..
Sunday, January 14, 2007
i'm super tired last week wif lotsa of activities last week..
i'm super tired last week wif lotsa of activities last week..
tuesday - jus had our review cum post celebration for main com.. out of e 13pple (7guys,6gers), onli 11pple was present.. i'm gonna sae it ALOUD.. ALL E GERS ARE IN E MAIN COM ARE PRESENT!!! 2guys wasnt there.. they r kenji n weimin.. kenji has lessons till 7pm n weimin is working.. haiz~ wat a pity.. we had our dinner at tampines safra's sakura.. wahahaz!! it's BUFFET.. but guess our stomach arent realli tat big.. didnt realli store quite a lot then full liao.. i was jus grateful tat i didnt hav gastric pain after tryin 2 make tat meal worthwhile.. lolx~ it was oso our last dinner wif qisheng (qi ge), wei han (wei ge) n elvin (liang ge).. our QWE are enlisting on thurs n sat 2 BMT le.. sobx~ qisheng n weihan.. mi n stella gonna mizz e conference lots ne.. BUT OF COS.. we'll mizz u guys too!!
wednesday - wed's trainers' training was at gk.. we met for dinner at aljunied mrt at 6.15pm.. as usual.. there's pple who will alwaz be late.. we nv had a time where all e trainers, cheorographers n item i/cs gather 2gether 4 dinner.. reach gk promptly at 7.30pm.. saw qisheng n elvin over there.. WAO!~ super hardworking lehz.. goin 4 enlistment on thurs still so gd go gk help.. they went hm after doin a vigourous daimoku n evening gongyo wif us.. going back hm 2 eat wif their parents... we had a great time testing our costume 4 chingay.. but.. it's realli difficult 2 wear on ur own..
haiz~ jus imagine on e rehearsal, e preview n e actual dae.. 104 participants + 12 trainers.. OMG~ we even tried dancing in e costumes.. oh man!! it jus make us super tired.. we are supposed 2 take 30mins time 2 change n dance after which we will be having debrief 4 new formation n encouragement n all these.. end up.. we dragged till 10.15 then go hm.. e briefing 4 e formation was then postpone 2 thurs.. oh man! jih yang kor kor super gd.. he drove may n stella back 2 hm at toa poyah, mi n dixon at yishun n stephanie at woodlands.. then he sae he speeded hm.. aiyoz!~ so dangerous sia!! took a super quick bath n started our conference again.. mom saw mi closing my room's door n came in n scream at mi.. it was 12am plus then.. sobx!~ cant tok 2 them 4 long..
thursday - a significant dae 4 elvin n qisheng.. they book in2 ns bmt le.. sobx.. we'll mizz u guys lots de.. call qisheng during my lunch.. cos i didnt reall get 2 tok 2 him last nitez.. jus worried 4 him.. not bcos he's too young 2 take care of himself but tat he hasnt recovered frm cough n flu yet.. *worried* oh ya.. in e evening.. we had our briefing at syc.. b4 tat.. we actuall meet up at harbourfront 4 dinner.. tis was pouring every single dae.. makes everyone's mood so moody.. saw roy on e bus heading 2 syc too..was actuall telling him i going back 2 full-time studies soon.. jus feel veri excited n waiting patiently 4 e enrollment period 2 cum.. hmm.. syc.. a place filled wif lotsa wonderful memories.. it used 2 b my kindergarten.. n a place mi n xianyun go veri often 2 study.. i still rmb teaching daryl mathematics there.. we went in2 e mtg room on e 4th floor n join in e sd committee 4 gongyo.. guess who was sitting beside mi?? it was serena.. my tpjc asd ic.. lolx..
she was e one who used 2 contact mi when they tot i'm in tpjc.. anw.. thks 4 help serena.. she was e one who transfer mi frm asd 2 nrpsd too.. guess next time i'll end up in nypsd? lolx.. who so special can keep changing institution ar?? lolx.. did e briefing of our formation n learnt sum new steps as well.. learnt hw 2 do buddha hands n wave.. not kallang waves worz.. lolx.. is another type de.. quite a relaxing mtg 2dae.. each n everyone of us was given a chance 2 speak.. be it our work/studies or my participants etc.. qisheng called.. but i didnt get 2 pick up his phone call. sobx~ i off my hp 2 silent.. haiz!~ but sms him n noe he's doin fine.. gd!~ fang xin liao.. was a tiring dae actuall.. n it's raining.. so mani pple actuall fall sick.. our dearest eunice jie jie too.. gina jie jie oso hav yet 2 recovered too.. alamak!~ guys mus take great care of urself ne..
friday - it was home sweet home.. cos i hav 2 settle so billing stuff wif mom.. after which, mi n mom went 2 da bao our packed dinner.. she was too tired 2 cook plus dad wont b back 4 dinner.. was quite relaxing dae actuall... jus get 2 noe a interesting n nice guy at gk when i went there 2 help in e making of e chingay props.. he's darren.. lolx.. he's quite funny n cute actuall.. but sometimes i simply cant understand his alien language..
saturday - it's chingay training again!! as usual.. mi, willie n stephanie meet 4 lunch.. i was jus so blur tat i ask stephanie if she can make it 4 dinner when it supposed 2 b lunch.. kekez.. trainers' prep started at 2.30pm.. but at 2.30pm, onli mi, stephanie, willie, trey n dixon was there outside e studio.. oh man! where's e rest? haiz!~ was quite worried actuall.. cos i jus hate n dislike 2 face e mirror.. e weather was quite gd actuall.. we started our training at 6pm after having our dinner.. darren came 2 help at e log grp.. keep saying it's trial onli.. diaoz.. my grp screw up sat's training.. haiz!~ i'm disappointed actuall.. cos i'm alwaz screaming at e top of e my voice.. haiz~ i jus feel so bad.. i'm alwaz e bad person.. reall veri worried 4 willie.. he's alwaz so distracted by other aspects.. willie, plz come back!!! went 2 hav soyabean milk n sandwiches as supper after e training.. e coffeeshop are jus packed wif pple who are there 4 soccer matches.. alamak!~ was asking darren where he's staying.. he told mi bukit purmei.. so i ask him which block.. in mind i was tinking 106.. then he sae.. block 106.. oh man!! tat instinct.. i almost fainted.. then he sae .. cos we *xin lian xin, bei kao bei* .. *vomited* lolx..
sunday - mornin.. wakey quite early.. cos need 2 go do my hair.. lolx.. finall.. i got my hair rebonded.. actuall wanna ask xianyun pei mi go.. but guess she's busy wif her church service n out wif her frenz 4 meals.. haiz!~ i oso feel quite guilty.. cos i realli nelgected xianyun alot.. everytime got festive celebration she ask mi go countdown i alwaz nv turn up.. sorrie ne!! realli veri busy.. after which.. went 2 vivo 2 meet stella, darren n chin peng.. went shop shop at daiso.. then went e-zone 2 play.. realli sound so kiddy all a sudden.. diaoz.. after which.. we went over 2 harbourfront n makan.. i had yoshi beef bowl.. n saw my tongshi, tian ming there.. lolx.. luckily he's wif his guy fren but ger fren.. muhahahaz.. otherwise i'll sure tease him.. kekez.. after which is hm sweet hm .. chin peng took mrt.. stella went 2 her ah ma hse.. then it's left wif darren n mi taking 855 hm.. he dropped few stops after harbourfront.. as 4 mi.. i'm left alone 2 travel back 2 yishun... n guess wat i saw.. a man sitting in front of mi zai xi qiang li jiao.. oh man!! tat's illegal ne!!! tat's ILLEGAL!! it's scary tat singaporeans do tis so openly.. haiz.. wat 2 do??
after all, i'm jus tired!!!~
tuesday - jus had our review cum post celebration for main com.. out of e 13pple (7guys,6gers), onli 11pple was present.. i'm gonna sae it ALOUD.. ALL E GERS ARE IN E MAIN COM ARE PRESENT!!! 2guys wasnt there.. they r kenji n weimin.. kenji has lessons till 7pm n weimin is working.. haiz~ wat a pity.. we had our dinner at tampines safra's sakura.. wahahaz!! it's BUFFET.. but guess our stomach arent realli tat big.. didnt realli store quite a lot then full liao.. i was jus grateful tat i didnt hav gastric pain after tryin 2 make tat meal worthwhile.. lolx~ it was oso our last dinner wif qisheng (qi ge), wei han (wei ge) n elvin (liang ge).. our QWE are enlisting on thurs n sat 2 BMT le.. sobx~ qisheng n weihan.. mi n stella gonna mizz e conference lots ne.. BUT OF COS.. we'll mizz u guys too!!
wednesday - wed's trainers' training was at gk.. we met for dinner at aljunied mrt at 6.15pm.. as usual.. there's pple who will alwaz be late.. we nv had a time where all e trainers, cheorographers n item i/cs gather 2gether 4 dinner.. reach gk promptly at 7.30pm.. saw qisheng n elvin over there.. WAO!~ super hardworking lehz.. goin 4 enlistment on thurs still so gd go gk help.. they went hm after doin a vigourous daimoku n evening gongyo wif us.. going back hm 2 eat wif their parents... we had a great time testing our costume 4 chingay.. but.. it's realli difficult 2 wear on ur own..
haiz~ jus imagine on e rehearsal, e preview n e actual dae.. 104 participants + 12 trainers.. OMG~ we even tried dancing in e costumes.. oh man!! it jus make us super tired.. we are supposed 2 take 30mins time 2 change n dance after which we will be having debrief 4 new formation n encouragement n all these.. end up.. we dragged till 10.15 then go hm.. e briefing 4 e formation was then postpone 2 thurs.. oh man! jih yang kor kor super gd.. he drove may n stella back 2 hm at toa poyah, mi n dixon at yishun n stephanie at woodlands.. then he sae he speeded hm.. aiyoz!~ so dangerous sia!! took a super quick bath n started our conference again.. mom saw mi closing my room's door n came in n scream at mi.. it was 12am plus then.. sobx!~ cant tok 2 them 4 long..
thursday - a significant dae 4 elvin n qisheng.. they book in2 ns bmt le.. sobx.. we'll mizz u guys lots de.. call qisheng during my lunch.. cos i didnt reall get 2 tok 2 him last nitez.. jus worried 4 him.. not bcos he's too young 2 take care of himself but tat he hasnt recovered frm cough n flu yet.. *worried* oh ya.. in e evening.. we had our briefing at syc.. b4 tat.. we actuall meet up at harbourfront 4 dinner.. tis was pouring every single dae.. makes everyone's mood so moody.. saw roy on e bus heading 2 syc too..was actuall telling him i going back 2 full-time studies soon.. jus feel veri excited n waiting patiently 4 e enrollment period 2 cum.. hmm.. syc.. a place filled wif lotsa wonderful memories.. it used 2 b my kindergarten.. n a place mi n xianyun go veri often 2 study.. i still rmb teaching daryl mathematics there.. we went in2 e mtg room on e 4th floor n join in e sd committee 4 gongyo.. guess who was sitting beside mi?? it was serena.. my tpjc asd ic.. lolx..
she was e one who used 2 contact mi when they tot i'm in tpjc.. anw.. thks 4 help serena.. she was e one who transfer mi frm asd 2 nrpsd too.. guess next time i'll end up in nypsd? lolx.. who so special can keep changing institution ar?? lolx.. did e briefing of our formation n learnt sum new steps as well.. learnt hw 2 do buddha hands n wave.. not kallang waves worz.. lolx.. is another type de.. quite a relaxing mtg 2dae.. each n everyone of us was given a chance 2 speak.. be it our work/studies or my participants etc.. qisheng called.. but i didnt get 2 pick up his phone call. sobx~ i off my hp 2 silent.. haiz!~ but sms him n noe he's doin fine.. gd!~ fang xin liao.. was a tiring dae actuall.. n it's raining.. so mani pple actuall fall sick.. our dearest eunice jie jie too.. gina jie jie oso hav yet 2 recovered too.. alamak!~ guys mus take great care of urself ne..
friday - it was home sweet home.. cos i hav 2 settle so billing stuff wif mom.. after which, mi n mom went 2 da bao our packed dinner.. she was too tired 2 cook plus dad wont b back 4 dinner.. was quite relaxing dae actuall... jus get 2 noe a interesting n nice guy at gk when i went there 2 help in e making of e chingay props.. he's darren.. lolx.. he's quite funny n cute actuall.. but sometimes i simply cant understand his alien language..
saturday - it's chingay training again!! as usual.. mi, willie n stephanie meet 4 lunch.. i was jus so blur tat i ask stephanie if she can make it 4 dinner when it supposed 2 b lunch.. kekez.. trainers' prep started at 2.30pm.. but at 2.30pm, onli mi, stephanie, willie, trey n dixon was there outside e studio.. oh man! where's e rest? haiz!~ was quite worried actuall.. cos i jus hate n dislike 2 face e mirror.. e weather was quite gd actuall.. we started our training at 6pm after having our dinner.. darren came 2 help at e log grp.. keep saying it's trial onli.. diaoz.. my grp screw up sat's training.. haiz!~ i'm disappointed actuall.. cos i'm alwaz screaming at e top of e my voice.. haiz~ i jus feel so bad.. i'm alwaz e bad person.. reall veri worried 4 willie.. he's alwaz so distracted by other aspects.. willie, plz come back!!! went 2 hav soyabean milk n sandwiches as supper after e training.. e coffeeshop are jus packed wif pple who are there 4 soccer matches.. alamak!~ was asking darren where he's staying.. he told mi bukit purmei.. so i ask him which block.. in mind i was tinking 106.. then he sae.. block 106.. oh man!! tat instinct.. i almost fainted.. then he sae .. cos we *xin lian xin, bei kao bei* .. *vomited* lolx..
sunday - mornin.. wakey quite early.. cos need 2 go do my hair.. lolx.. finall.. i got my hair rebonded.. actuall wanna ask xianyun pei mi go.. but guess she's busy wif her church service n out wif her frenz 4 meals.. haiz!~ i oso feel quite guilty.. cos i realli nelgected xianyun alot.. everytime got festive celebration she ask mi go countdown i alwaz nv turn up.. sorrie ne!! realli veri busy.. after which.. went 2 vivo 2 meet stella, darren n chin peng.. went shop shop at daiso.. then went e-zone 2 play.. realli sound so kiddy all a sudden.. diaoz.. after which.. we went over 2 harbourfront n makan.. i had yoshi beef bowl.. n saw my tongshi, tian ming there.. lolx.. luckily he's wif his guy fren but ger fren.. muhahahaz.. otherwise i'll sure tease him.. kekez.. after which is hm sweet hm .. chin peng took mrt.. stella went 2 her ah ma hse.. then it's left wif darren n mi taking 855 hm.. he dropped few stops after harbourfront.. as 4 mi.. i'm left alone 2 travel back 2 yishun... n guess wat i saw.. a man sitting in front of mi zai xi qiang li jiao.. oh man!! tat's illegal ne!!! tat's ILLEGAL!! it's scary tat singaporeans do tis so openly.. haiz.. wat 2 do??
after all, i'm jus tired!!!~
Thursday, January 11, 2007
1st post of e year 2007!!!
1st post of e year 2007!!!
Guy Facts:
When a guy is quiet,He's listening to you...
When a guy is not arguing, He realizes he's wrong
When a guy says, "I'm fine," after a few minutes, he means it
When a guy stares at you,he thinks you're the most beautiful thing in the world
When you're laying your head on a guy's chest, he has the world
When a guy calls you everyday, He is in love
When a (good) guy say he loves you , he means it
When a guy says he can't live without you,he's with you till your done
When a guy says, "I miss you,"he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else
Girl Facts:
When a girl is quiet, millions of things are running through her mind.
When a girl is not arguing,she is thinking deeply.
When a girl looks at you with eyes full ofquestions, she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a girl answers, "I'm fine," after a few seconds, she is not at all fine.
When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are so wonderful.
When a girl lay on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever.
When a girl calls you everyday, she is seeking for your attention.
When a girl wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered.
When a girl says, "I'll love you forever,"she means it.
When a girl says that she can't live without you, she has made up her mind that you are her future.
When a girl says, "I miss you,"no one in this world can miss you more than that.
how true can it be?? i realised i envy pple who are having bf.. how wonderful it can be?? i realized nowadays when i chant, i'll nv put having a kosen-rufu partner in my prayers le.. am i jus too tired? i used 2 long 4 one a lot.. izzit e lack of courage tat stops mi frm everythingy? jessica loh!!! u're no e old "you"..
Guy Facts:
When a guy is quiet,He's listening to you...
When a guy is not arguing, He realizes he's wrong
When a guy says, "I'm fine," after a few minutes, he means it
When a guy stares at you,he thinks you're the most beautiful thing in the world
When you're laying your head on a guy's chest, he has the world
When a guy calls you everyday, He is in love
When a (good) guy say he loves you , he means it
When a guy says he can't live without you,he's with you till your done
When a guy says, "I miss you,"he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else
Girl Facts:
When a girl is quiet, millions of things are running through her mind.
When a girl is not arguing,she is thinking deeply.
When a girl looks at you with eyes full ofquestions, she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a girl answers, "I'm fine," after a few seconds, she is not at all fine.
When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are so wonderful.
When a girl lay on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever.
When a girl calls you everyday, she is seeking for your attention.
When a girl wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered.
When a girl says, "I'll love you forever,"she means it.
When a girl says that she can't live without you, she has made up her mind that you are her future.
When a girl says, "I miss you,"no one in this world can miss you more than that.
how true can it be?? i realised i envy pple who are having bf.. how wonderful it can be?? i realized nowadays when i chant, i'll nv put having a kosen-rufu partner in my prayers le.. am i jus too tired? i used 2 long 4 one a lot.. izzit e lack of courage tat stops mi frm everythingy? jessica loh!!! u're no e old "you"..
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