[ Maria ave Maria!! ]

[ Maria ave Maria!! ]

it's friday.. counting down.. 9 more days to final exams.. oh no!! Jessica Loh, you're running of time!! ya.. i slept at 11plus yesterday.. and today morning.. i'm just like a zombie.. i'm so TIRED.. physically and psychiologically... had our nursing studies at lab 29 today.. and got to know our nursing studies combined results for phase test 1, class test 1 and phase test 2... i got 76.. it's an B... just 4marks away from A.. so.. i just need to put in MORE efforts in my final year to attain an A.. can de!! u can do it, Jess!!

influenced by 200 pounds beauty.. practically everyone in my class are now crazy over the song : "Maria"... everywhere you go.. you will hear people singing : "Maria ave Maria....." *addicted*... hohoho.. thanks to me.. bluetooth here bluetooth there.. my mood is spoilt today.. and almost everyday without fail.. what the hell??!?? and this time round.. by a close friend.. i dont want to mention names.. it's not nice.. a bunch of us were late for lesson after the 10mins break given by Mdm Qian.. and that asshole say : "cher, punish them lahz".. and i shouted across the class: " keep your comments to yourself..." for the first time, i have such reaction.. Mdm Qian actually stared at me with that shocking look..

really disappointed.. that phrase of words come out from someone i'm quite close to.. what's wrong with your brain?? yupz.. sometimes, the way you speaks tells others how mature you are.. bloody shit!!!!! well.. i'm in a bad mood.. pms-ing.... ARGH!~ my nerves just tighten so easily nowadays.. i cant control my temper, my emotions.. my world is upside down now!!!!

after which.. it's bioscience lesson.. Ms Tan went through the test paper with us.. ya.. at that very moment, i'm still telling myself.. how did i got an A?? so ridiculous!!! my hands are itchy.. really feel like sms-ing him.. but.. i held back... just trying not to be so soft-hearted.. but i cant help.. to worry.. and to think of his well-being.. went back together with hazel today.. finally got someone go to tampines with me.. this whole week.. i go back everyday alone sia.. cause.. Nad and Farhan got their interact club things on.. well.. had a great talk with Hazel.. she's really nice.. well.. our subject just cant be lack of that "problem".. as usual lahz huh..

went home quite early today.. mom bought me sushi.. *yum yum*... after which.. i got my hair dried and went to sleep.. *oink* just tired.. lack of sleep.. *yawn* .. wakey.. and saw him online.. didnt want to talk to him actually.. but saw his msn nick.. was pretty worried.. and TALKED to him.. yupz.. just want him to live happily.. something about archery happened again.. ya.. he will just get worked up over archery stuff only.. and he made his close friend angry.. might be her.. who knows?!?

you're worried and hope that friend of yours wont be angry anymore.. when you do this to me, when you hurted me, have you spare a thought for me?? do you even remembered what you said and what you promised?? "i wont want to hurt you... if you're sad, i'll be the first to cry..etc".. this is all bull shit now.. it's just a blank cheque that will never meet.. i'm crying.. tears flow not only from my eyes.. but from my heart.. do you know it??

well.. i'm just too SOFT-HEARTED.. i know it clearly.. that can be a strength as well as a weakness.. that's why i easily bullied.. even pinwen also say that.. so does him.. but.. somehow, human beings are just too forgetful.. and tends to give lots of empty promises.. well.. i'm in my lala land.. with all the empty promises surrounded..

how come i forgive people so easily?? even when they stabbed me deep into my heart.. the person who got my heart melted was the one who make it bleed profusely now.. i want to pick myself up once again.. but along this way.. i tripped and fall badly.. especially this time round.. i never want my life to be disturbed.. want to concentrate fully.. but.. you came into my simple life.. and get my frozen heart melted.. and thanks to you.. i do enjoy short term happiness..but now.. my life is no longer peaceful.. many distraction and disturbance... till i think it's getting out of my hands, out of my control.. thanks huh..

holidays... please come faster.. after which.. i wont see you.. till 3months later.. and i'll miss my classmates i guess.. cause.. my best buds wont be in e same hospital attachment as me i guess... haiz.. well.. BREAK is all i need!!! let me SCREAM and SHOUT!!!~