[ let e BRAIN do e THINKING, NOT e HEART ANYMORE!! ]

[ let e BRAIN do e THINKING, NOT e HEART ANYMORE!! ]~*

saturday... yupz.. weekends has come.. which means the next weekdays will come soon.. *sobx* wakey quite early today.. i set my alarm to 9am.. but woke up many times.. first was because mom woke up at 5.15 for work.. second round was because dad woke up for work.. then comes the third time.. didi woke up at 8am for his soccer training.. yupz.. after all, i'm just trying to say it's NOISE POLLUTION that wakes me up.. was already fully awake at 8.30am.. though i just feel like lying down till 9am..

then... i brushed my teeth as usual.. rationale people?? it's to make sure my mouth and teeth stay clean and fresh.. hahaz.. sound like nursing studies test question.. heez.. my mood is quite good actually AT FIRST.. but i just love making myself sadden by things i'm not supposed to hear.. and not supposed to see.. yupz.. sadden because i'm just want to find out what happened to what he said yesterday.. sound chim.. but it's okie.. it's for me to know NOT for you to find out.. it's her.. i knew it.. i just dont want my instinct to make the conclusion for me.. but.. true enough.. my instinct is RIGHT..

i cried.. cried really badly in front of the computer... and luckily.. no one is at home.. if not, i'll end up undergoing investigation by my parents and brother.. i sms Nad immediately.. i told her.. i just feel like killing myself.. for being such a fool.. for comforting and encouraging him when he actually worries and got affected so much about the incident that happens.. end up, the person is her.. you made her angry by doing something wrong.. and worried so much how she's feeling.. yupz.. true.. you must be concern for your friends whom you cherish.. the EXTRAs... just let it be transparent then...

Jessica Loh, why must you make youself sound so PITIFUL?? why must you make yourself sound so STUPID?? where's the IGNORANCE you should have?? Nad, you're right!! i should have listen to you... and stop all the things i'm doing for him.. and stop all the unneccessary concern for him.. cause.. it's not worthwhile.. it's not being appreciated..

hmmm... after which.. i left house with that saddening feeling to meet ramlan and fara for the project work.. supposed to meet at 11am at Jurong East mrt control.. and i'm like 20mins early.. ramlan reached 10mins later than me.. and fara.. she's late.. for more than 30mins.. end up.. ramlan and me went JE Entertainment Centre's Mac to eat.. i want to eat big breakfast so badly.. but.. too bad.. ramlan got the last share.. so.. i ate Mcspicy meal instead.. like so long never eat it liao.. always eat Mcnuggets meal..

at 11.30am.. our dear fara finally appear.. so the 3 of us went to JE library instead.. cause Nad, Farhan, Hazwan, Rahmah, Izzah and Siti small is there.. went to catch some fun.. and that cute fara.. she smuggled coke into library.. wahahaz.. end up, we cant do anything.. cause fara's laptop cant read my cd.. i stored all the information in Microsoft Word Processor.. and it's like not all laptop has that program.. haiz.. what a waste of the trip..

they went to have long john.. and again.. as usual.. Nad and Farhan have to listen to my grumbles.. getting sick of it huh.. ears bleeding everyday.. i also very sianz.. *tired* ... went to queue up with Farhan to buy food for Nad and himself..Farhan asked me a question.. "have you thought of asking him if he really likes you?" well. i thought of actually.. but i dont think it's neccessary now already.. he's the one who let me go.. so be it ba!! and Nad... quarrelled with her boyfriend again.. what the hell!! got such a good girlfriend still dont know how to cherish.. are you sure you own a brain??

haiz.. i'm really sadden to see Nad emo.. i guess Farhan feel the same as well?? we took 51 to Ayer Rajah CC for the interact club's CIP.. yupz.. i just tagged along for fun.. we are late.. cause waited for Izzah and small Siti to buy things.. while waiting patiently for the bus to come.. Vin called Hazwan.. and that stupid Hazwan told Vin that our bus broke down.. wahahaz.. think Vin only born yesterday.. will believe his words.. STUPID.. it just takes us not more than 10mins to reach our destination.. and we are late..

yupz.. Izzah and Fara tagged along too.. just for the fun of it.. our first job - to give out flyers to neighbouring estate.. Farhan, Nad and Hazwan were given the honour.. but i just tagged along.. kpo kpo a bit.. luckily i went with them.. mostly the eldery people are chinese spoken.. so i saved them!! hahaz.. after which i also dont know how i managed to spend the 4hours time in that cc.. just do some carrying of chairs at the end of the eye screening session, and attended talks.. and gossip a bit here and there.. and crazy us (Farhan, Nad, Hazwan and me) start taking pictures here and there..

i kind of dislike the treasury of the Interact club.. she sound bossy.. yupz.. but quite friendly actually.. luckily i'm out there with my classmates.. if i'm alone at home, i also dont know what will i do to hurt myself.. and that will another STUPID thing... after the CIP session was over, me, Nad and Farhan went to beach road.. Farhan wants to get a pair of new shoes for school.. and my naggy mom called again.. horning me again as usual.. well.. Nad and me got the same thinking.. we arent young anymore moms.... at least be glad that we dont crave for drugs, we dont smoke and we dont got clubbing.. just a bunch of cute sweet girls who love some shopping and sharing of secrets.. hahaz.. be grateful for that moms!!!

after that.. we walked to bugis.. in the midst of walking.. we chatted our way through.. i told Nad and Han.. i want to SLIM DOWN.. i've been saying that for so long.. it's time for REAL ACTION.. yupz.. i want to make those heartless idiots regret.. regret for all the things you have done to turn me into the me today.. reassure.. you will regret for your entire life!! *evil laugh*

i want to take a bus home from there.. and thanks Farhan and Nad.. it's so sweet of u guys to wait for the bus with me!!LOVE YOU GUYS the MOST!! yupz.. so much unnecessary events happened today.. and we end up not getting any time and chance to study.. and.. i'll be locked at home during weekends.. yee!! it's GROUND at home.. tomorrow.. i'll stay home to study.. *guai guai* a bit..

yupz.. want to get online just now to send Fara the information for the project.. and my hands get itchy.. went to look at his msn nick.. ya.. it got me sadden AGAIN.. i'm just easily AFFECTED.. "iloveyoursmile".. that was his msn nick.. he used to say this to me.. i want to bluff myself that it's refering to me.. but somehow.. I CANT do it!! my instinct tells me.. it's HER again.. ya.. my love rival.. thanks for taking him away from me.. maybe what xueyun da jie say is right.. gohonzon just gave you a hint before you guys even progress to another stage.. he's not your MR RIGHT.. that's what da jie says.. yupz.. i should listen to her.. let my brain do the thinking and not my heart anymore..

from tonight onwards.. i'm going to work towards my goal.. study well.. and SLIM DOWN.. my short term goal.. I'm COMING!!! off the sleep.. my eyes are tired...........