[ illusion filled my life!! ]

[ illusion filled my life!! ]

sunday again.. a bit sianz of the routinue of monday to sunday.. then sunday to another monday.. yupz.. seriously sick.. sick of the routine type of life.. cant it be a bit more flexible?? yupz.. starting from tomorrow.. it's revision week.. Jessica Loh, endure through the one more pathetic week and you will get to REST!!

just had my breakfast.. i know it's quite late huh.. but that's normal on sundays.. i usually sleep till at least 10plus.. my eyes need to rest real a lot nowadays.. during weekdays.. i'll sleep as early as 9pm.. ya.. i cry a lot.. and that's why last time people used to call me crybaby.. and that's why my eyes are tired.. plus all the lectures and stuff.. it's exhausting!! tomorrow onwards, no more PIE class, no more SW as well.. so......... it's all on nursing studies and bioscience.. i will go crazy i think.. continue mugging..

couldnt finish my breakfast.. my favourite fishball gui tiao.. i only managed to finish half a bowl of it.. ya.. my appetite is getting from bad to worse.. i can dont eat yet i go to the toilet.. as like i can dont drink yet i still can urinate.. Jessica Loh's immune system is just so different from the rest.. something is wrong.. ya.. just dont feel like eating.. not that i'm wont get hungry.. sometimes i'll get really hungry that my stomach makes noise.. but when i bought the food, after one mouth or two of it, i just feel like puking naturally.. i also dont know what went wrong.. is it because i got the mindset in my sub conscious mind that i want to loss weight??

i have no idea.. no idea of what's happening around me.. blockage somehow... tomorrow and tuesday.. got meeting to attend somemore.. haiz.. i'll be real tired.. cause school only ends at 5pm.. i have no chance to go back and take a shower and change my uniform out.. just have to go straight from school.. and it's in the west area somemore.. sure die.. predicting i'll be only home after 11pm.. oh man!! how to do revision like that?? as for wednesday and thursday, i'll end school at 5pm as well..

it's no longer like secondary school.. i skipped 3 weeks of school just to study for my o'level.. end up.. the results still sucks like dont know what.. it's because of relationship.. mom is right.. i should have listen to you.. relationship turns my life upside down.. and filled my life with illusion.. stop DAY-DREAMING le Jessica Loh.. you have enough of all these shit!! what you want is ETERNAL HAPPINESS.. NOT SHORT-TERM HAPPINESS.. dont get satisfied so easily over all the SHORT-TERM HAPPINESS.. it will makes you go HAY-WIRED...

ya.. when you fall, learn the pain and stand on your feets again.. I WILL MAKE YOU REGRET.. REGRET for your ENTIRE LIFE.. and i'm going to leave my hands off your life.. it's got nothing to do with me.. PEACE.. is all i asked for.. just so simple.. i'm just a SIMPLE girl who's asking for a SIMPLE LIFE!! no more WEEPING.. no more TEARING.. no more CRYING.. soon.. my blood will clot.. and no more BLEEDING... "HEAL the world, make it a better day, for you and for me and the entire human race..." just a sudden.. thought of this song by MICHAEL JACKSON..

yupz.. i'm going for a shower now.. and start my mugging!!!! *mugging*

just finished watching "wei xiao pasta".. i cried.. so touching!! yupz.. true love is forever not smooth sailing.. it will haunt your entire life.. making you really exhausted and tired.. STOP all the unneccsary nonsense!! i want to CONCENTRATEeeeeeeeeeeee.........


[ GIVING UP doesnt mean you're WEAK. it only means that you're STRONG enough to LET GO!! ]

just wanna do some copyright stuff.. saw this from a friend's blog.. he feels how i am feeling now.......

Why have you changed so much?
Where is the "you" that i've first knew ?
Who are you now?
When will you really be at your happiest?
What can i do now?
How will our future be?
perhaps for me, i could only look back.
always thinking of the things we did together.
why we cried together
why we laugh together.
it is very disheartening to know that the one you loved,
has somehow perished?
i could still feel ur touch,
remember the words u said.
But how much are u for me?
maybe thanks for ur cold shoulder all these while?
the saddest feeling is that u know even if u are dead today,
she wont even know or bother to know.
because no matter what u have done for her,
they are all taken for granted and forgotten.
saddening right?? i admire his courage.. he dared to write out how he feel.. this is how i am feeling now......
harbour happy thoughts than to think of how to be happy.
Being happy and Being contented is two different Thing.
Many of us are happy yet uncontented.
and when ure uncontented, ur happiness is not fully manifested.
when ure contented, happiness comes flowing like water.
we often look and search too far and neglect about the ones around us.
"when you love someone too deeply theres bound to be agony. "
these are all written by the same friend of mine..... really true right?