[ 缘分 yuan fen ]

缘分 Fate

lesson was at 8am today.. saw Farhan at interchange today.. so we took bus31 together.. reached school and went to cafe1.. didnt have a good sleep yesterday.. i also dont know what's things am i troubling about.. had a hard time last time.. was revising for my CN test today.. till i almost BURST! BUT.. everything is gone.. CN test is OVER!! i just finished my CN test today! kekez! NOW.. left with end-of-module exams..

after CN test was CN lesson.. we (me, Shiffa, Nadiah, Nabilah and Farhan) went to MLC to continue with our PBL project.. deadline has been changed from friday (which is tomorrow) to next monday.. hais! BUT, it's still rushing.. cause.. Ms Zhao didnt want every group to do on the same topic for the Nursing Plan.. so.. she wants us to draw lots.. BUT.. she will only draw lots on monday.. it's kind of LATE.. cause only have 5hours to do quite a number of stuff.. *stress*.. it just wont stop affecting our daily life..

we had our lunch at cafe2.. and... it's Jamal and Jeremy's birthday today! Happy Birthday guys!! didnt have any form of celebration for them.. just wish them through sms and friendster.. was having cms lesson from 1-3pm.. but it's so KIND of Ms Cheryl to release us at 2pm.. i was having a terrible headache.. so i went home after it.. skipped SW lesson today.. it seems like i hasnt been doin SW since this term started!! luckily didnt meet Dear for dinner today.. if not, i guess i wont be able to enjoy it happily because of the headache..

reached home about 3.45pm today.. had a shower.. then took my painkillers and went to sleep.. the whole ceiling in my room is TURNING.. i just dont know why.. for this past 1 werk, everyday after lunch time.. my miagraine will start giving me problem!! everyday sia.. if people dont know will thought i will have brain tumour.. slept till about 6.30pm before i wake up to iron my clothes..

almost forgetten to ANNOUNCE something about yesterday.. i saw REEZAL on my way to school in bus969 yesterday!! hahaz! for the time somemore.. i went to school with him.. kekez! so happy!! cause we stayed quite near each other but i have never meet him on the way to school.. kekez! so, from this.. i can conclude something.. it's takes lots of FATE to be friends with someone.. to be lovers with someone.. and to be husband and wife with someone.. so, people, CHERISH and TREASURE those around you! =]

just finished my dinner.. cup noodles with a hard boiled egg.. dont feel like going down to buy.. TIRED and feeling giddy also! got to go le!... be happy always=] smile more jessica!


[ 人总是存活在比较过去和现在中度过，这是一种悲哀吗？people are living in the life of comparing the past and the present, is it a kind of misery?]

[ things are getting better... ]

things are getting better...

sleep quite early last night.. around 10plus i was in bed liao le.. mom and dad was SHOCKED how come i didnt use the computer then so GUAI go to bed so EARLY.. i just dont know.. just feel like sleeping though i know lesson starts at 10am tomorrow.. went to bed.. BUT, still keep my handphone on.. intended to off my handphone de.. BUT i didnt.. just have a FEELING that i will get calls from my friend.. and indeed.. Willie called me.. dont know why also.. was a bit drowsy then.. so i decided not to pick up his call.. and dear replied my sms also.. but didnt say anything much.. miss dear a lot.. hais!

now in BH lesson AGAIN.. lolx.. as usual lahz.. it's a period we will blog, check email, facebook and friendster.. BUT.. my INTENTION is DIFFERENT.. i want to blog my today's entry now so that i can CONCENTRATE in my REVISION for my CN test TONIGHT! as usual.. i wake up at 7.15am today.. i want to PROTEST! cause i cant SLEEP well LAST NIGHT!... when i sleep, i dream.. then i will wake up again.. when you dream, means you arent sleeping cause your brain is still doing work.. hais! think i will have to go to the doctor after my exams..

i just REALISED i got so much things i want to do.. let me list them out..

1. want to go to Escape Theme Park!
- though many people say it isnt FUN at all, but i just want to go.. cause i've been saying it for two years liao le!
2. want to watch movies!
- it's been so LONG i never watch movie.. my last movie was in august i think! that's so long!!
3. want to go cycling at East Coast Park!
- i last cycled in july.. so long liao.. want to go to the beach to enjoy the breeze!
4. want to go kbox!!
- want to sing and relieved my stress!
5. want to celebrate my birthday!!
- last last year, i celebrated my birthday at seoul garden with Benny, Stephanie, Jiafeng and Melvin. and last year with all my Chingay peeps and participants, but my cake was locked in the fridge at PA.. so no cake last year! this year, i want some SURPRISE! my last birthday in my teenage life!
6. want to take more pictures and neo-prints!
- so long never take neo-prints le!
7. want to spend more time with Dear!!
8. want to meet up with SK peeps, Chingay peeps, my soka friends, Xianyun!!!!!

so many things.. but i only got 1 month holidays.. and i'm going for a 4days3nights camp!! how? plan plan plan!! start planning..

was kind of SHOCKED just now.. Mdm Tan was trying to say who are the failures for the BH test 2.. then she said if i tap on your shoulder then you're the one.. and she tapped on my shoulder! oh my god! i got a SHOCK of my life.. BUT, i arent one of them lahz! hahaz! xu jing yi chang! teacher was saying students who are strong in their BH.. and i was one of them.. eh... i was SHOCKED! cause i know i have too many commitments nowadays.. maybe it's the POWER of the GOHONZON? hahaz! will continue praying!!!

been days i havent visit ah ma.. shall visit her on friday! must get well from my cough and flu first!!

[ struggling between e true facts and my emotions ]

[ struggling between e true facts and my emotions ]

in my BH lesson now.. and Mdm Tan said there's someone from our class who scored 8/30 for the MCQ in the test we had last thursday! and she said "she" scored.. oh man! and she said she's SHOCKED cause she isnt someone who didnt pay attention to her class.. hais! just hoping it isnt me! didnt sleep well last night.. keep waking up again.. i think i'm just too STRESSED over too many things up in my mind.. i also dont know what i am really CONCENTRATING now..

was doing my cms presentation write up early in the morning at cafe1.. and saw Miaozhen.. she was teasing if i have catched the first bus.. cause i was always seen early at cafe1.. still got my scamper story not done! DIE.. i havent start studying for my CN yet.. i dont wish to flang another paper.. HAIS! was asking some of our classmates if they have done their scamper story.. and heard Nad saying that her friend is helping her.. so good.. i was hoping someone can help me too..

Farhan tried to peep into my blog.. and i pushed him away.. it's people's privacy lahz.. though it's said to be a blog.. and now.. as usual lahz.. he's EMOTIC now.. my MOOD also not GOOD... dont test my PATIENCE too.. what Junyuan last night is TRUE.. everyone's patience and tolerance level also got a limit.. hais! i'm just hoping i'm not being pushed to the limit.. cause i am just easily AGITATED recently.. dont know how's ah ma already.. cant visit her.. got too many things on my hand that are rushing for deadlines.. and i'm not feeling well also.. dont wish to cross infect her..

got to concentrate in class.....

[ i must learn.... ]

i must learn....

monday blues.. first lesson was CN theory.. BUT this whole week.. all CN practical and theory lesson will be changed for us to complete the PBL project.. oh MAN! i just HATE it.. BUT well, the second attempt doing the PBL wont be as bad as the first attempt i guess.. just HOPING it will turn out well.. lesson from 10-12 was at techno block.. and dear came to look for me.. to get his forms he kept with me the other day.. and he's LATE for class.. bite u ar! everytime also like that..

had an early lunch today at cafe2.. bought fish beehoon soup.. BUT only managed to finish half of it.. just lost the appetite all of a sudden.. headed to MLC after the quick lunch.. and started to do some typing for the PBL project while the others did the researches.. and.. here came a 不俗之客 that almost make my breakfast and lunch rise to my esophagus.. i know it's BAD saying that.. BUT.. i just CANT HELP it! anyway, dont wish to talk about it..

back track.. had a hard time at MLC.. BUT.. had a GREAT time playing with the printer.. no lahz.. is handling the printer i should say!! hahaz! after spending almost 2hours at the MLC, i feel more RELIEVED.. cause almost half of the project is DONE.. BUT.. dont be TOO HAPPY, JESSICA LOH.. you still got your cms presentation, your cms assignment and your CN class test!! came out of the MLC and it's 13:57!! oh man! 3 more minutes for us for RUSH from MLC to MLT!! without saying much, we held our breath and walked all the way.. almost SUFFOCATE sia. it's really COLD cause it's RAINING and we are walking so FAST!!

came into MLT.. and was SHOCKED.. lecturer of the day.. our DEAREST section-head => MR TAY.. he's CATCHING hold of those who are LATE for lecture.. LUCKILY, we managed to run away from it.. topic of the day.. "perception" and "ego-defence mechanisms".. i really ENJOYED the lecture.. first lecture after so long in this term that didnt make me feel like sleeping.. hahaz! ACHIEVEMENT.. and he share so many personal stories of his with us.. MAKING ME laughing out loud all the way!! i feel so much RELIEVED after laughing so much..

called Chong after my lecture.. and headed to SDC to look for him.. before that.. i went into cafe1 to grab a cup of triple chocolate ice-cream.. dont know why.. just feel like eating it.. maybe because i'm NOT in the MOOD ba.. dear and Shaun were kind of SHOCKED to see me there.. and he asked why i was there.. was quite BLUNT in my words actually.. SORRY if i have made you angry, dear.. i dont mean it.. just have some frustration and feels that i have no one to turn to..

went home ALONE after that.. just need some TIME to REFLECT on my own.. and i CRIED.. i'm really TIRED.. so much things has happened.. and i kind of cant accept the hardest facts of lives.. why things happened this way? why things end up like that? i just need time to adapt.. maybe because i'm WORRIED about too many stuffs recently le..

and i feel kind of STUPID to have talk to dear like that when he talked to me nicely.. i know you have your problems too.. you have your committments and stress too.. BUT.. i hope.. you can share it with me.. and talked to me things that happened to you like you used to do last time.. let us face the stress we have together.. "stand alone spirit" is tiring..

i remembered before i sleep last night.. i was reading through all the sms dear sent me.. and remember i once said to dear.. "when i'm with you, i feel that i have nothing to worry about.." and dear replied to me "got.. me lohz.. got me to worry".. TRUE enough.. you're the one i worried about the MOST now.. especially when you dont share your problems with me, i'll feel more WORRIED.. well.. i guess.. i just have to learn.. to learn to be more UNDERSTANDING..

[ i know my love for you will never change.... loveulotsdear! ]

[ i wish i can sleep and never wakes up... ]

i wish i can sleep and never wakes up...

slept at 10pm last night and Chong called.. told me he has sent me an email on putty face.. was TIRED.. so we only talked awhile and i put down the phone liao.. guess he can hear that my voice isnt that right.. ya.. i was sneezing.. and still SNEEZING today.. slept till 2pm today before i wake up.. i had a total of about 16hours of sleep..

told dear about it.. and he said i really enjoyed life.. no lahz.. it wasnt the case.. slept so much today cause early morning when i intended to wake up.. i feel that my whole body is ACHING.. and feel FEVERISH.. so i climb out of my bed and took the thermometer.. indeed.. i am RUNNING a TEMPERATURE.. oh gosh! my SUNDAY is GONE.. got to STAY home and rest today..

went out to buy lunch even though i wasnt feeling that well.. cause i have to get to materials for the PBL project which will start tomorrow.. came home and did my revision as well.. did my CN homework also.. and call dear.. BUT we didnt talk much.. cause i wanted to study.. BUT.. cannot concentrate!! maybe because i'm still feeling feverish.. was slacking at home today.. watching tv and stuff... MISS dear lots! hais! how i wish he can be here to hug me to sleep.. *ah choo*

i'm going to sleep le.. tomorrow is going to be a longggggg day...

[ sneezing.... ]

sneezing....

was at home in the morning.. till about 11am.. set off to clementi.. mom got to settle some bills stuff and that.. so we headed to Clementi.. my old HOMETOWN!! hahaz! no lahz.. just somewhere i used to stay.. after settling some bills, we went to have our brunch session.. ya.. breakfast and lunch at the same time.. we had CHICKEN RICE!! my favourite.. BUT i still miss the stall under my old block.. not the one at clementi central..

after which, we walked towards the bus-stop.. and on our way there, we saw 二舅母and Yeeling表姐.. they just finished eating too! and 二舅母actually ask where are we heading too.. well.. it's to SGH lohz.. we are going to visit ah ma.. took bus147 from the bus-stop at the ntuc.. it was quite a distance.. i wanted so much to take a nap.. but.. i just CANT.. i just dont know why..

very tired.. and since morning.. i have been SNEEZING way before i get my head out of my blanket.. think i was TRAMASTIC after yesterday's fall ba.. hahaz! BUT.. it's making me real UNCOMFORTABLE.. while making our way into the hospital, i felt a sudden GIDDINESS.. i think i almost FAINTED! cause i feel that i'm walking side way.. BUT.. luckily.. i didnt.. went up to SICU to see ah ma.. she's responsing and times and not responsing at times.. so WORRIED about her situation..

she wanted so much to talk.. BUT.. she cant.. due to the tubes in her mouth.. and luckily, i know how to read lips.. she wanted to tell us she got no voice, cant talk.. ah ma, we understand that.. i just want to get well.. FASTER and SOONER.. dont wish to see you suffer.. dear's working today.. he must be TIRED.. went home so LATE last night.. feel so心疼 of him.. cause he's like working.. studying and got so many events and sc stuffs on in school.. just hoping that his investiture can come FASTER so that he can step down faster..

called him when i was in the hospital.. wanted to make sure he didnt over-slept.. mom's asking why he didnt come to visit ah ma.. well, i know he's busy.. at times, i do grumble that he didnt visit ah ma right at his face.. BUT.. inside my heart, i know he's busy.. and i can UNDERSTAND him well.. dont want to be so 辛苦! sometimes, i do feel i am not good enough to be his girlfriend.. cause i'm always not able to 分担 his 忧愁.. comes to STUDIES.. i CANT HELP him.. cause he's not in the same course as me.. comes to SC stuff.. i CANT HELP him.. cause i dont know anything.. comes to work, i CANT HELP him.. cause he need that for a living..

i guess what i CAN DO is to give him more understanding and be more understanding towards him.. whatever problem i can solve on my own, i wont go bother him.. whatever problem that might affect him to be more stressful, i shall keep it to myself.. that's my conviction from NOW..

went home at about 5plus.. REALLY TIRED.. and what irritates me the most is.. i'm SNEEZING like dont know what.. i cant go near my ah ma at all.. just dont want to spread germs to her when her immune system is already so weak.. grandma, get well soon!.....

tired le.. off to sleep....

[ is it retribution? ]

is it retribution?

it's FRIDAY! yupz.. weekend is round the corner.. my alarm was set to 5.15am actually.. BUT.. when the alarm clock rang, i was still NOT really WILLING to wake up.. cause by thinking that it's going to be a LONG day today makes my BODY filled with NO ENERGY.. hais! cant imagine that it's a friday BUT i still have to stay in school till 10pm.. hais! what is life man? was sneezing early in the morning.. hais! i guess i really need VITAMIN C!!

first lesson of the day.. behavioural science.. Mdm Tan wanted to go through the answers for the BH test yesterday with us.. BUT.. 2 of our classmates were absent during the test.. SOOooooo.. NO CHOICE lohz.. cant go through.. didnt really want to know the answers to the questions too.. cause i'll actually know how much i roughly score... hais! it's OVER liao.. so NO POINT CRYING OVER SPILLED MILK.. do well or wont do well also like that liao.. cant turn back time to change anything.. just have to BUCK UP for end-of-module exams!! i can say that i was concentrating quite well during lesson today.. topic is "MEMORY and FORGETTING".. few more topics to go before we proceed on for REVISION for EXAMS! hais! i SCARED cause EXAMS is ROUND the CORNER.. BUT.. on the other hand.. i'm HAPPY!! cause HOLIDAYS is COMING SOON too!!!

next lesson was CN practical.. BUT.. Ms Zhao used it to teach theory instead.. we are done with all our practical skills.. only left with theory part to go.. first topic was on "types of surgery".. then was on "anaesthesia".. got a better idea of that actually.. and then it was 15minutes more to 12pm.. we arent given any break in the midst of her 2hours lesson.. and she wanted to continue to brief us on our PBL project which is taking place next week.. hais! really exhausted till i cant really concentrate.. BUT.. still forced myself to LISTEN.. this time round's topic for PBL is on community nursing.. can say EASY.. can say DIFFICULT too.. gosh! thinking of my next week schedule makes me SHIVER from HEAD to TOE..

monday - planning meeting after school
tueday - nothing at the moment
wednesday - CMS presentation
thursday - deadline for CMS written assignment and CN class test
friday - deadline for PBL project
saturday - investiture and discussion meeting
sunday - nothing at the moment

oh GOSH! i need a BREAK! so many DEADLINES to MEET!! lesson managed to finish at 12.10pm.. and i RUSHED all the way to sdc.. put down my bag and went to change into my jeans and t-shirt.. then.. i went to noobs to have my LUNCH.. was quite HUNGRY actually.. early morning when i woke up, i cleared my bowel twice and once in school.. 3 times liao.. was having diarrhoea actually.. oh man! wat a bad start of a day.. ate spagetti with nuggets!! YUM YUM! quite NICE actually.. BUT.. i still prefer PASTAMANIA's CREAMY CHICKEN!! missing it!!

then we went back to sdc to slack a bit.. and then was asked to tie ribbons for the food they are providing for the concert.. had a great time actually.. then.. at around 3.30pm, the YMCA group arrived.. all MALAYS!! i'm not RACIST lahz.. just that was kind of SHOCKED why they arent chinese in the bridge programme when actually YMCA is a CHRISTIAN association.. first game of the day - the introduction ball game.. we played that before during one of our bonding session for the yep trip.. this brings me back to the SWEET MEMORY!! i rememebered that time Tom came to ttsh to pick me up and meet Carolyn and Miaozhen at city hall.. we were LATE for the training actually.. and remembered that Tom walked into the event hall with a wafer and me with a cup of ice milo.. that time we arent together yet...

2nd game of the day - the maze game.. me and Ruifen was put in charge of the event actually.. as i was the one who gave the suggestion to this game.. had a HARD time getting them to SETTLE down.. they arent NORMAL kids.. after the game itself, i heard some of them saying that they DONT LIKE this GAME!! *heartbroken*.. hais! so, i told Shaun that i feel this game isnt a SUCCESS.. BUT.. he reassured me by saying it is a great success.. Nabil also said it's FUN.. really THANKFUL for reassuring me and comfort me.. during the toilet break, i went to Shaun and requested that i dont wish to take part in the savanger hunt game.. BUT he inisted that i must.. and asked me not to be affected by their words..

hais! i cried..and THANKS for comforting me, Junjie.. first time talking out to him my feelings.. thanks for that!! i guess i shocked many who saw me crying.. ya.. just need to relieve out.. then.. we moved on with the savenger hunt game.. i was in the same group with Jag, Amalina, Miaozhen and Nabil.. and Jag.. was commenting that my hair is very soft!! hahaz! of cause.. my mom take care of it for me since young.. and many efforts must be put in to have such soft texture.. kekez! we LOST the game.. but was FUN though the moral of the group is LOW.. i managed to find quite a number of stuff with one glimpse! the marble rock, the monkey baby, the ducky!! hahaz! i can CONFIRMED that i'm really good in finding things.. BHB.. *self-praise*

after the game, we went to wash up.. was sweating like hell.. and it's so HOT!! as in WARM lahz!! hahaz.. after wash up, we slacked awhile in the sdc before we proceeded to the ampitheatre for the concert.. the concert itself was NICE.. i can say i enjoyed it.. BUT.. at the same time, somethings just sore my eyes.. shall not mention about unhappy stuffs.. we took pictures with them after the concert.. and i saw this cute little boy with the rainy rubber shoes.. so CUTE!! i just LOVE kids! then we walked back to the sdc.. and that Shaun.. he did a pole dance performance.. and Ms Jill was disgusted.. hahaz! but it's FUNNY lahz.. i had a GREAT time lol-ing my way...

then.. here comes to DIASTER!! someone said " the person must treat drinks"... so we started running.. and.... i was knocked down by Shaun and Jag.. and hurted her left elbow.. just have some skin tear.. and some abdominal pain because i landed on my stomach.. it's OKIE.. it's an ACCIDENT.. no one wants it to happen too.. so Jag and Shaun.. stop blaming yourself!! smile=] then.. many of them actually helped me up.. i think i was too SHOCKED to react.. except crying.. think this shocked TOM too! thinking back.. it's really EMBARRASSING!! but thanks to the nursing crew - Amalina, Miaozhen and Carolyn.. my wound is taken care of.. thanks for cleaning my wound.. and we had a GREAT time taking photos at the event hall.. BUT.. i was too TIRED.. and my wound just hurts.. not in the mood..

was talking about the investiture with Suhui and Tom.. Tom asked me to represent Red Cross for the investiture cause he feels that i have the need to interact with new committee of SC.. well.. i'm just a SMALL FLY lahz.. dont want to act big like someone.. dont wish to mention names.. then he said : " if he knows me last year, then will be different.. it will be okie if i have more interaction with them".. so i said: " if i know you last year, we knows we might have a different story ending".. then.. he said: " oh.. you mean we will end up together huh?" lolx! maybe lahz.. we knows..

went home with Wuihou.. we had a GREAT time chatting.. and we went to Tampines central and got drinks at macdonalds.. so THIRSTY! then Sam came.. she PS the guys who are going for supper.. it's LATE already lahz.. went home and had a shower.. and realised that my ankle area and kneecap have bruises too.. it's OKIE.. it will RECOVER in a few days time.. BUT i think the skin tear part will be really UGLY.. oh gosh! it's a TIRING day.. cause i played hard, and even CRIED hard.. tired.. turning in.......

[ nag . nag . nag ]

nag . nag . nag

it's thursday already.. yeah yeah!!! which means friday is coming.. early morning at 8am.. we have our BH test 2 at the MLT.. the first thing when i receieved the question paper is to see what are topics that are out for the short-anwser session.. oh my god! "PERSONALITY" came out.. and i didnt study that topic.. DIE.. going to do BADLY for this paper le.. hais!

after the test itself.. Junyuan was talking to me.. about the paper content and stuff.. hais! i know you will do well.. born talent lahz huh.. a bit demoralised this term.. the more i want to do well, the worse my results are.. why? why like that? hais!! next lesson was CN practical.. today's topic was to perform DEATH PROCEDURE.. first half of the lesson, Ms Zhao gone through the theory part of the topic with us.. and.. i just remember one thing.. next week.. we are going to do PBL again!!! my goodness.. i'm going to HATE it seriously..

and during the practical part of the lesson.. many of them cannot take it.. Shiffa got emotional.. and cried actually.. i learnt something through a friend who's studying in NYP.. he said.. in nursing, you cant get EMOTIONAL that easily.. he's right.. and Daphne.. she's was really upset over her BH test.. she cant concentrate during the test as Douglas was making noises.. hais! poor her.. really dislike seeing friends cry.. cause it will affect my mood as well..

lunch at cafe2.. was eating with Citi and gang, and with Nadiah and Shiffa.. Peixuan is in my school for the career fair.. Daryl also.. BUT.. didnt get to see them.. at about 12.30pm, we went up to the indoor sports hall for the talk by SGH and National Heart Centre.. was quite moved by what the nurse.. have the urge to take up bond with SGH.. BUT.. i just feel it's too FAR from where i am staying.. and i managed to get the HR in charge for TTSH.. and after the career fair, i went to TTSH HR to submit the form.. will be waiting for the interview in early decemeber..

after which, i went to SGH to visit grandma.. she's kind of drowsy today.. maybe because of the morphine given to her.. and one more extra medication given to her.. vancomycin.. think her surgical wound area is infected.. hais! i'm so WORRIED.. it's the thing i dont wish to happen.. it's dangerous if the wound area is infected.. left for home at around 5.30pm.. and went home to rest.. my HEADACHE is back again!! going to rest.... orh orh!~

[ praying for my grandma's well-being... ]

praying for my grandma's well-being...

back to school today.. was forcing myself out of bed this morning.. BUT thank god.. class start at 10am today morning.. went out quite early today.. BUT.. i was STUCK in the traffic jam on the highway to tampines interchange.. went to meet farhan at cafe 1 and had a simple breakfast.. first lesson.. BH.. i missed out too much in just one day's time.. and... i didnt seems to be able to concentrate in class today.. maybe because the HEADACHE is REALLY KILLING ME!! and i cant take my medication in school.. if not, i will become DROWSY QUEEN..

after lesson.. ate at cafe3 today.. BUDGET.. in the midst while i was eating.. Yeow Chong called and asked if i want to join him and Nabil for lunch at cafe2.. just too BAD.. i'm eating le.. plus i cant always PS my classmates because of my yep family.. after eating, start to do some revision for BH test.. it's TOMORROW!! oh my god!

1-3pm was SIM training.. got the same thinking as Nadiah.. just DISLIKE SIM training.. was thought how to prepare a patient for operation.. BORING.. cause it's Ms Zhao's lesson i guess.. maybe because i have already set the mindset that her lessons are BORING.. so no matter how INTERESTING she tried to make it, i'll think that it's BORING..shall change my mindset of that from NOW on... CMS was released early today.. and i took the READING test i missed yesterday..

went to see Ms Jill after lesson ended.. and took the consent form for the friday event.. and went to meet Tom at tampines to let him sign.. he's on his way to Bugis to meet his brother.. while i'm on my way to sgh.. didnt visit ah ma yesterday.. feel so uneasy.. her condition is better today.. as in.. she will have some reflex on her hand.. she can grip my hand at least.. but she's on more and more TPN machines.. Insulin, Morphine, and 3 other types of medication to maintain her BP.. and on oxygen therapy also.. but.. at least i see electrolye given to her today..

saw Yeeling miao jie for the first time since the last time i see her.. she came to see ah ma too.. and had a great chat with her.. was studying outside the ICU while waiting for mom to come.. am really tired! and cannot really concentrate.. BUT i still FORCE myself.. had dinner in the hospital before going home.. and one more thing.. i must thank those friends who are really concern about my grandma.. thank you so much.. i know with all your prayers.. she will RECOVER..

off to study...

[ exhaustion stage... ]

exhaustion stage...

was sick today.. took mc for the first time in the past few months in ite.. it's was REALLY a TOUGH decision for me to make.. cause i just dont know how much i will missed!!! BUT.. i still give it a MISS.. cause i KNOW.. i need that BREAK badly!!! went to the polyclinic to see a doctor.. was there at 7.15am.. and i waited till 7.55am before i got myself registered..

then at around 8am.. i was sitting outside the doctor's room waiting for consultation.. that ass doctor.. he was sleeping in the room till 8.30am before he sees me.. someone, i was his FIRST patient of the day!! my goodness! polyclinic's doctors are terrible.. saw my preceptor when i went for attachment in july.. and saw the sisters for the polyclinic.. REALLY misses the period during attachment..

during this visit to the polyclinic.. saw two WEIRD guys keep STARING at me.. alamak! never see before GIRLS ar!! cannot stand them.. and i just knocking into them where ever i go.. even when i seen the doctor much later than them, i still knocked into them when i went to take medication.. hais!

reached home at around 9am and called tom to wake him up for school.. the blur him.. half awake still know how to ask me whether i going to school or not.. lolx! after calling him, i took my medication and went to sleep.. think my headache too SERIOUS till the doctor gave me another type of painkilllers instead of the usual panadol.. and was having running nose as well.. and this two medication will cause DROWSINESS.. so.. i turned into a DROWSY QUEEN after taking the medication.. didnt sleep really well actually.. cause Janice called and called twice.. and that IRRITATING SPECIMEN, Guosheng called twice too! *argh* i should have switched off my phone..

want to DIE also cant die in peace.. HAIS! and Yeow Chong called twice also.. he's LUCKY that i didnt SCOLD him.. just sound FRUSTRATED only.. he called caused he was ASKED to do so by that idiotic Guosheng.. just over the stupid edusave thing.. HAIS! SICK also cant REST well.. WHAT IS THIS MAN!!!!!????

slept till about 5pm before i wake up and wash up.. dear went to work.. was thinking whether he will drop by to visit me.. oh well!!! that's PURE DREAMING huh.. he went to ENJOY LIFE.. went to cafe cartal with Shaun, Shaun's girlfriend and Yeow Chong.. hais! well, as usual.. he will definitely say.. "i'm a busy man... i got work what.." he can give up his sleep for the cafe cartal BUT.. i know he wont visit me when i'm sick... unless i'm hospitalised lahz.. CHOI!! TOUCHWOOD huh.. 2years ago.. i rememeber when Hui Shan was hospitalised due to cancer.. i remembered Weimin went to visit her everyday without fail.. and i can remembered clearly that after visiting her, when i went home.. i ask daryl, my boyfriend then,. would he actually visit me everyday if i'm hospitalised.. and INDEED.. one month later.. i was HOSPITALISED.. and somemore.. first time HOSPITALISATION, i ended in the OPERATING THEATRE too.. and that's when i did my appendicitomy operation..

shall not CURSE myself.. hahaz! after washing up.. i did my evening prayers and went to study.. hais! i cant CONCENTRATE!! BUT.. i have NO CHOICE.. BH test is 2days away.. had my FIRST MEAL of the DAY.. my DINNER.. this was what i ONLY EAT.. POOR ME huh.. sick liao yet NO ONE cook me porriage.. hais! after dinner, call Nadiah also.. and checked out with her what the teacher gone through today.. and she said i missed out a lot.. hais! no choice.. FALL SICK at the WRONG TIME!! mugging!~

turning in early.. DROWSY.....

[ endurance!! ]

endurance!!

it's monday blues again! was sitting at cafe1 early in the morning to complete my CN homework.. didnt have the time and the mood to do it during the weekends.. was busy going in and out of the hospital everyday.. Shiffa was quite early today.. and was talking to her.. hais! finally i can have someone whom i can talk to.. was telling her about my grandma.. and then Nadiah came by.. thanks girls.. thanks for talking to me.. i guess you girls are really my TRUE FRIENDS.. it isnt easier to have true friends..

first lesson of the day.. CN theory.. well, everyone has some hu-ha over the CN homework.. most of them didnt do the homework or didnt complete the homework at all.. BUT.. Ms Zhao just insisted on collecting the homework.. and i was given the task to do it.. was put in a difficult spot as they are my classmates and she's my teacher.. i dont know who should i obey.. seriously dont know.. then.. after much efforts of collecting it, she returned the paper back to us.. diaoz! and wants us to mark our paper..

she herself also not sure what are the questions she has given us.. and.. we actually quite some time on infection control.. my goodness! anyway, i shall not compare.. after all, she said something really right.. teachers just act as faciliators.. whether we want to do well or not really depends on us.. and.. we should let some small little things affect our studies.. life hasnt been moving smoothly for me recently.. isnt gossiping behind people's back a bad thing? but why are there people still doing that? and even to people they treated as friends? hais! i just get a bit sadden when i came across a friend's blog who commented on another close friend of mine...

maybe they should just make things clear before commenting.. after all, we have no rights in other people's life.. we can advice.. but cant do anything more than that.. well.. was having a terrible headache since last week.. just stress and sad over grandma's hospitalisation.. have CN lecture today at MLT.. and contact time from 4-5pm.. and Ms Zhao was really kind and understanding towards my situation now.. she let me off earlier.. thanks for that.. took the mrt to sgh.. and went in to grandma..

actually to the nurses there.. she's not doing well today.. 3medications was given to her to help maintain her blood pressure.. her blood pressure was really low.. and as what my uncles told me.. grandma hasnt open her eyes for the whole day they are there.. maybe she's just TIRED? i really hope so.. and on my way back.. Meihui messaged me.. she was concern for my grandma's condition.. thanks for that.. and thanks for the encouragement.. i really need lots of endurance now!! really need.......

off to sleep.. my headache is killing me...

[ tired . tired . tired ]

tired . tired . tired

woke up at around 10plus today.. did my morning prayers and had my breakfast at home.. brother bought it for me.. thanks huh.. i'm really TIRED to even go downstairs.. then i went online to get some red cross stuff done.. then at around 2pm.. i started my "WORK".. first was to sweep the floor.. then i mopped the floor.. after which.. i took down the dried clothes and fold it.. then putting them nicely into the drawers..

it's really a humid day.. then.. i went to have my shower.. i really SMELLS after all the housework.. then.. i went to iron my clothes and stuff.. before i go out, i did my evening prayers.. i'm AFRAID that i will return home late.. went out with brother at around 4pm.. ate chicken burger and fries for lunch.. i'm really HUNGRY after sweating so much...

went on our way to see grandma.. she's so AGITATED today.. she kept struggling to get out of bed.. and see her wanting to talk but she cant.. and tried knocking away the blankets.. till her IV cannula came out.. hais! i just dont know how long this will last.. then.. i left for clementi at about 6pm.. went to cheers to get some ice-cream.. i'm really SAD.. and STRESS.. and eating ice-cream makes me feel better.. how i wish i can eat one tub now? BUT.. it doesnt seems to help MUCH.. HAIS.. GONE CASE liao..

took 147 from SGH down to Clementi.. managed to get her before 7pm.. was meeting Aunt Sherley, Aunt Suni and Yee Ling for planning meeting for this month's YWD/WD combined discussion meeting.. Really not in the mood.. and forced myself to eat too.. cause i know i cant afford to COLLAPSE at this crucial moment.. managed to finish the planning in an hour's time.. and sat down with Yee ling and Aunt Lian See.. they were really concern about my mom.. and about my grandma.. thanks for all the encouragement.. dont worry.. i'll do my BEST to keep my THINKING POSITIVE..

took mrt from clementi home.. and called Tom.. BUT.. he's having his dinner.. and while waiting for him to call back.. i fall asleep in the mrt.. i'm REALLY TIRED.. but.. till i reach home.. he didnt call.. dont know what he's BUSY with.. really WISH to TALK to HIM.. just need someone to talk to.. BUT when i called him again, he told me he's meeting tian chen.. and said i called at the wrong time.. hais! i know he sound he's joking.. BUT, to the person who hears it.. it's HURTING..

and i just need him to be there.. for this very moment.. want to find one day i'm free to go to the seaside.. or to the reservoir.. and sit down quietly to think.. want to relieve my stress.. longing for that day to come...

" Life is full of battles. Each victory is determined by the path you take and the role you play "

[ accepting the hardest fact of life and preparing for the worse ]

accepting the hardest fact of life and preparing for the worse

today is saturday.. slept till about 10.30am.. was awaken by samuel's sms.. he asked if i want to go for breakfast together.. BUT.. i'm SERIOUSLY tired and not in the mood.. hais! woke up and did my prayers.. sat down at the sofa and FORCED myself to take the breakfast.. my gastric is giving me problem.. i got no choice but to force myself to eat.. at the same time.. was watching "放羊的星星".. the show is getting more and more TOUCHING.. and REALLY FUNNY.. thanks to that.. i managed to LAUGH out LOUD.. it's relieving my HIDDEN STRESS..

intended to do my homework.. BUT, i just have NO MOOD to do it.. at around 12.30 almost 1.. i left home.. making my way to the hospital.. meeting mom at the hospital directly.. grandma is lying in the surgical icu.. we went in and see her.. and she was holding on so tight to us.. holding my mom's bag.. and trying to tell us something.. but.. she cant talk.. so, i asked her if she wants water, and she told us she wants by nodding her head.. but we cant give her.. her kidneys isnt producing urine.. if we were to give and the water goes into her lungs, she will suffer pnuemonia.. and who knows next.. we are asked to go out.. cause they are starting the dialysis for her.. oh GOSH! something i hope it wont HAPPEN had HAPPENED.. just hoping that it will be a TEMPORARY measure.. NOT a LONG TERM one..

after she started her dialysis.. we went down to have a coffee.. and i took my lunch.. almost FAINTING liao.. and my gastric isnt listening to me.. after which, we went in to see her again.. she's STRUGGLING in PAIN.. though i has never go on dialysis before.. BUT.. i know how it feels poking an external tube into your body.. it's WORSE than DYING.. when i call her, i saw her tears flowing out.. i quickly dragged my aunt out of the room.. the next moment.. my tears started to flow.. i just cant take it.. i see her struggling and frowning her eye brow.. as though she's telling me she's in pain.. and yet, i cant do anything to stop her from suffering..

then.. the doctor came to spoke to us.. telling us her condition.. she isnt out of danger yet.. and her kidneys are failing.. and she suffered a heart attack after the operation.. doctor also mentioned that they managed to stop the bleeding in the aorta.. but he dare not say that the operation is successful.. all the doctor said is he wants us to prepare for the worst.. and it really depends on her willpower to tide through this.. hais! after when the doctor spoke to us, we took turns to go in and see her again.. ah ma is dropping tears again.... we dare not stay long.. first time.. first time i see my uncles and aunts crying.. mom cried too..

i dont know what should i tell them to make them feel better.. BUT.. all we can is to pray for her to have the strong willpower and TRUST the doctors and nurses in the hospital.. they are the ones who can save her.. left home at 7plus.. really tired.. not in e mood to eat.. just had hot milo cause i was sneezing all the way..

really tired.. got to wake up early tomorrow.. sleeping soon.... i need a break..

[无心伤害 ]

无心伤害

it's friday.. everything started off very smoothly.. NO CLASS today for ME.. cause.. the yep family will be hosting the SSEAYP (Sea of South East Asian Youth Program) participants who are coming to our school for a tour today.. woke up at around 5.15am today.. didnt sleep well.. was waiting for Tom to call me when he gets home.. BUT.. as usual lahz.. he will say OKIE.. but with NO ACTION done.. hais! and i fall asleep while waiting for him to call.. he's RIGHT.. he said before.. he WONT do REPORTING to his girlfriend.. whatever it is.. i just need to OPEN one EYE and CLOSE the other to MAKE my LIFE less MISERABLE.. as usual.. i'm always early.. luckily, Khai and Nabil were early too.. then.. some of my classmates came.. Shiffa, Nad and Nabilah.. we had a great time talking CRAPS.. ya.. it's Nabil AGAIN.. he made all of us laughed till stomach also aching..

and then when my classmates went up to their class, Chong, Shaun. Guosheng, Carolyn and Miaozhen came.. had my breakfast.. had a cup of ice milo with a char siew bread and cheese tart.. lolx! just have a feeling that i wont get to eat well or eat in the noon time.. after which, we went to sdc to SLACK while waiting for others to come down.. went to the washroom with Suhui and saw Joel.. alamak! he just treat us as though we are strangers.. GOSH! i cant IMAGINE i have such yep family members.. thinking back.. we arent the ONES who OUT-CASTED him.. he was e ONE who ISOLATE himself from us.. cant BLAME us then...


the particpants will only be arriving at 10am.. so, we still got some time to SLACK around.. as usual, i went online to check my mails and stuff.. suddenly, i feel kind of moody.. dont know why also.. just dont feel talking.. then.. all a sudden.. i was dragged in the picture of Tom and Shaun's agrument.. Tom paid for Shaun's girlfriend's meal yesterday.. and Shaun wanted to pay him back.. but Tom dont wants it.. then the money was passed to me.. Shaun feel that it's his girlfriend.. so, it isnt very NICE for Tom to pay for her.. TRUE.. i think if i'm a guy, i also will feel the way Shaun will feel.. BUT.. on the other hand, Tom thinks it's just a treat that dont cause much..

who knows.. the NEXT moment.. they were scolding vulgarities in front of cafe1.. ARGH!! i was so ANGRY.. early morning, people are scolding each other with me standing in the centre.. then, taking the 10dollars note.. SEE CAREFULLY!!! 10dollars note.. i walked away feeling so FRUSTRATED.. argh! it's REAL CHILDISH!! i almost wanted to cry le.. people who knows me well should know.. you cant make me ANGRY.. if not, i will also CRY.. that's why i'm called CRYBABY!! heez!

walking into LT2.. i sat beside Tom.. but i didnt talk to him at all.. WAS REALLY ANGRY.. then he asked me why my face so black.. so i told him.. if he and Shaun wants to quarrel and argue over money issue AGAIN.. DONT GO OUT together next time.. hais! then Shaun saw my face really BLACK too.. HAIS! i'm disappointed.. just dont know why.. while waiting for the participants to arrived.. we self-entertained ourselves.. taking pictures and cracking jokes.. then i was asking Suhui whether my president has given the reply to her for the investiture or not.. and Tom asked what happened.. then i actually shouted sayig.. "third party dont get involved..." i think he must be very ANGRY when i say him like that.. i DONT MEAN it.. BUT.. i just feel ANGRY over HIM.. hais!

after some powerpoint presentation of our school, we went for a tour to the SIM training centre and to the beauty therapy training centre.. this is my FIRST time stepping into the training centre for beauty therapy.. oh gosh!! it's really NICE.. and there's facial, massage, pedicure and manicure services provided for students, staff with a CHEAPER price.. GOT to TRY it some day..

then.. we went to the EVENT hall for some refreshment.. and over there, we played the slide show for our yunnan trip.. REALLY misses the time there.. and i got a bit EMOTIC when i saw the pictures.. didnt have the appetite to eat.. was having a headache actually.. and saw a voicemail message from mom.. i couldnt call out cause there isnt reception for starhub users in the event hall.. so, i borrowed Tom's phone and called mom.. i got a SHOCK of my life.. grandma is HOSPITALISED and is already in the OPERATING THEATRE when mom called me.. was trying to get my brother.. but i just couldnt get him..

my TEARS just dropped.. the PROBLEM we WORRIED so much REALLY came TRUE.. the aorta really ruptured in her body causing internal bleeding.. hais! i TRIED controlling my TEARS.. but when Chong and Suhui saw me.. and asked me what happened.. i JUST CRIED out.. thinked i really SCARE them.. Suhui, thanks me lending me a shoulder to cry on.. Tom was inside sdc with Joel, Ms Jill and Ms Jacqueline.. he didnt know what have happened.. and when he came out.. he didnt see my eyes red as well.. he was so ENGROSSED in talking about Joel.. Final conculsion.. Joel isnt paying back the money.. what the HELL is that? hais..

Rushed to the hospital.. and on the way there.. i almost FAINTED.. could see STARS turning.. hais! when i arrived.. grandma is still in the OT.. we just dont know what went wrong.. all we know is.. if she dont op, the percentage of surviving is 0%.. and if she gives the op a try, the survival rate is 20%.. hais! we waited till 6plus before she was wheeled to the SICU.. i just CANT BEAR to see her like that.. with NG tube in her nose.. tubes in her mouth.. IV drips on her hands, her neck.. on urinary catheter .. SPO2 monitoring.. BP and HR monitoring.. oxygen therapy.. and given constant blood transfusion.. the doctor spoke to us.. saying that she has lost large amount of blood during the operation.. and that it might affect the functions of her kidneys..

it just reminds me of lihua jie jie when i see the ICU setting.. I'm really SCARED.. scare that i will lose my grandma.. through this 7months in nursing course, i have already lost a friend of mine.. i dont wish to lose another loved ones.. i just dont wish to see them suffer as well.. when i held her hands, it's ICY cold.. i'm so SCARED.. till my gastric pain start to give me problem.. she cant talk.. and bearly awake.. doctor says she isnt out of danger yet.. just praying that she can PULL through this..

dear called me at 11plus.. and i'm still awake.. just cant sleep even though i'm really TIRED.. i know mom cant accept it as well.. i'm afraid she will collapsed too.. why will so many things happened just within 24hours? why? i really blame myself that i arent a qualified nurse now.. i cant do anything much for her.. all i can is to PRAY.. praying for her speedy recovery.......

was talking to Shaun online.. thanks for comforting me yup.. i told him that i didnt want Tom to know that i arent feeling well and almost fainted.. just dont wish to let him worry.. i know he's stressed himself too.. got to support himself and got to cope with his studies.. i dont wish to be his burden.. staying by my side is good enough dear.. you dont have to do much......


* i feel hurted by that friend of mine.. just hoping it's 无心伤害... can i forgive and forget?! *

[ hate the feeling of being cheated ]

hate the feeling of being cheated

had no school today.. cause it's Deepavali.. hmmm.. woke up at around 9plus.. my initial plan was to SLEEP till 10am.. but then... my whole family woke up and my dear brother is kicking his soccer ball outside my room.. and it's SO KIND of him to CLOSE my DOOR.. but i SEE NO POINT in doing this.. cause.. my bedroom's door isnt SOUND-PROVED.. so you see the point now? ultimately, he will just CREATE more NOISE.. cause the ball will knocked onto my DOOR.. and CREATE more unnecessary NOISE.. ARGH!! it's HOLIDAY and yet i cant get the PEACE i want..

so, i woke up.. SCREWED him upside down and went to wash up.. since i wake up so EARLY.. i decided to IRON my clothes for Friday SSEAYP event and iron my uniform as well.. mom's COMPLAINING again.. complaining that my IRONING skill is lousy and terrible.. lolx! i'm arent a PROFESSIONAL HOUSEWIFE after all.. though many people thinks i look like one.. " you think, i thought, we confirm? " hahaz!

meeting Chong at 11.30pm at novena.. then going down today.. that's e GOOD thing about having a friend staying on the same mrt line as you.. as least, you wont be BORED going home alone and stuff.. SERIOUSLY.. i LOVE travelling alone.. cause this is the time i'll listen to my mp3 and think through some stuff i need to REFLECT on.. and things i have to think through and analyse.. i was LATE.. cause mom was COMPLAINING AGAIN.. as usual.. on my outfit.. cause will be going back to ah gong's place later..

she wants me to look PRESENTABLE.. BUT.. i guess being there is already PRESENTABLE enough.. hahaz! then.. had a HARD TIME trying to CALL my DEAREST too.. call him at 11.10am.. BUT.. his mobile is OFF.. and his home phone NOBODY bothers to PICK it up.. then, i got NO CHOICE but to turn to Shaun.. then..... i REALISED... that.... Shaun had called him at 10.50am to WAKE him up le.. was guessing that maybe he PURPOSELY off his phone lahz.. and indeed.. my SIXTH SENSE was RIGHT!

he told Shaun himself that he PURPOSELY off his phone.. well, whatever.. you're the one who ask me to wake u up and yet you off your phone.. cant be bother.. i did tried.. so i'm not at fault if he really gone back to sleep.. on the way there.. was thinking about a number of stuff.. and guessing a number of things too.. and indeed.. my SIXTH SENSE was RIGHT!! can it NOT be RIGHT? i JUST HATE the FEELING of that.. hais! anyway.. it doesnt MATTER much.. it's just MY SELF-CENTRED mind causing TROUBLES..

many were LATE.. and i SERIOUSLY DISLIKE people with NO SENSE of TIME-CONTROL.. shall NOT find FAULT.. they might REASONS behind why they are LATE.. you shall be FORGIVEN then.. BUT.. kick that bad habit! then, we made our WAY to marina square.. the moment Tom arrived, i didnt really wanted to TALK to HIM.. just ANGRY cause he PURPOSELY off his phone.. if he's AFRAID that he will be AWAKEN a second time by ME.. at least CALL or SMS to tell ME that Shaun has woke him up already.. then i SAVE my EFFORT of CALLING him..

BUT.. he just didnt even BOTHER to do so.. then he CAME up to me and asked why i didnt want to TALK to him.. sometimes i just wonder.. am i too PETTY?? but i can FEEL that i'm much better than the "ME" few weeks ago.. at least i FEEL that the UNDERSTANDING ME is COMING BACK!! yupz.. that should be the WAY.. shall drop this subject since it's OVER!! but this isnt the ONLY issue that SPOILT my day..

NEXT.. it's RUIFEN INCIDENT.. we were all waiting for her to come.. she didnt know the way and yet she kept telling me she knows.. then.. gradually.. i found out that she dont know how to make her way to marina square long john silver.. so.. i called and guided her how to come.. when i put down the phone.. Guosheng started to comment.. saying that i shouldnt have tell her all at a goal.. she might not know her way.. i didnt know why i was SO AGITATED.. i SHOUTED back at HIM.. shall not REPEAT what i said to him.. cause i feel it's really BAD.. just know that it's a few phases of words that makes the yep family members present STARE with EYES open BIG... i can easily say that their pupils are dropping out.. lolx..

after that.. i went out to look for Ruifen.. and i managed to find her.. hais! then.. they decided to have a change in venue.. then.. here we are.. starting our scavenger hunt at city hall.. hunting from marina square to meillia walk to suntec city to convection hall then back to marina square yoshi.. ALAMAK! ended up.. i only spent about 20minutes with them for the discussion.. FEEL so BAD.. but i have no choice.. got to go off to ah gong's place.. rushed my way down to lakeside.. had some food at ah gong's place.. some buffet stuff.. and ate a piece of his birthday cake.. it's MANGO cake.. my FAVOURITE!!

seeing grandma walking even without a walking frame.. i'm so HAPPY.. able to see her growing fatter.. and eating well.. and was having a GREAT time suan-ing my cousin about his girlfriend.. cause he and his girl got a period of time seperately.. so me and my brother were happily guessing the reason behind it.. Tom went movie with Shaun, his girlfriend, Zaki and Khai.. Mom was asking me why i didnt go when she asked where Tom go.. so, i told Mom that Tom went for a movie with some of the yep family people.. and she asked why i didnt go with him.. suddenly, i just feel i dont know how to answer her question.. and i REALISED that Tom and me HAVE NOT been for a MOVIE at ALL.. oh.. how SADDENING it can be.. well, we only go on our own now.. the ONLY time we are TOGETHER will be with events with the yep family and that attendance is COMPULSORY..

and Mom dont seems to UNDERSTAND that we DONT get to SEE each other even though we are in the same school.. well.. there's nothing much i can do.. just hopes she can be more UNDERSTANDING.. and that i can be more UNDERSTANDING.. as a girlfriend.. as a daughter..

left home at about 5plus.. really TIRED.. hais! came home and read one of my friend's blog.. then i realised someone close to me has cheated me for the first time.. it's a very close friend of mine.. i trusted him a lot.. and tells him practically everything.. though it seems like it isnt anything big that he had kept away from me.. BUT.. i just feel very UNCOMFORTABLE being CHEATED.. really HATE this kind of feeling.. for friends who know me for long, you should all be clear that i always HATE people who CHEATS me.. and i always say.. " if you want to lie or bluff me something, make sure you bluff your way through and never ever give me an opportunity to find out.." i HATE. HATE that my SENSITIVITY is so STRONG.. HATE that my SIXTH SENSE is always so ACCURATE.. something just MEANT to be NOT KNOWN.. if you KNOW it, you will feel AFFECTED.. tired... sleeping soon.....

[ need a break ]

need a break

lesson was at 10am today.. YES! as what i have said.. i have a total of 14hours of sleep last night.. BUT.. i'm still having a HEADACHE!! why? SLEEP TOO MUCH liao i guess... sobx!... woke up at 7.30am.. and wash up.. left house at about 8.15am.. an took bus969.. as EXPECTED!.. i'm stuck on TPE because of the traffic jam.. couldnt sleep also.. slept too much..

received an sms from 小舅informing us about ah gong's birthday celebration tomorrow.. come again! it's tomorrow and he only inform me today! oh gosh! at it's at 12pm also.. i'm supposed to meet the yep family tomorrow at 12pm at city hall for the discussion for the ymca event next friday.. then i must show my face at my ah gong's house.. how am i going to seperate my body? cut into 2 parts? that will be a GOOD IDEA i guess if it can WORKS.. hahaz! well, i'm must going a bit NUTS!! out of my MIND..

lesson ended quite early.. instead of 5.30pm today.. we finished at around 4.45pm.. so, as tomorrow would be a PUBLIC HOLIDAY.. Nad suggested not to go home straight after school.. BUT.. to go SEE SEE, WALK WALK.. at first.. was thinking to go to TM de.. the NEAREST and the MOST CONVENIENT place for me to take bus home.. then they said then it might be too BORED.. caused we always go there.. then Shiffa suggested to go to WHITESANDS.. which we realised that Nad has never been there.. well, cant blame her.. she's staying at the extreme end of west.. and Whitesands is at the extreme east..

so, we SQUEEZED our way up the REALLY PACKED bus31.. and headed to Tanah Merah mrt.. from there.. we took the mrt to pasir ris.. saw many Ns men when we stepped out of the control station.. so was thinking whether i'll see weihan there or not.. cause he's staying at pasir ris.. BUT.. i didnt!! hais! sad! but anyway, we had a GREAT TIME looking at blouses, shoes, bags... and stuff.. how i wish i can be a MILLIONAIRE at that MOMENT!! hahaz! BUT.. SADLY.. i'm NOT lahz... hahaz!

at around 6pm.. i left pasir ris.. leaving Nad, Farhan and Shiffa.. they are going for dinner..and as for me.. i'm heading home for mom's home cooked food.. really TIRED.. the moment i board the bus, i just KNOCKED OFF.. lolx! misses mom's cooking a lot.. and i had my FAVOURITE today.. pig's stomach soup, and my favourite steamed food.. well.. it's a fulfilling meal i should say.. yup!! hahaz..

going to sleep le.. need a break badly.. but.. my tomorrow will be fully uterilised.. hais!

[ sleeping mode ]

sleeping mode

this entry was written on the 7th morning though it's supposed to be things that happened on the 6th.. you will know the reason why as you read down my entry!! hahaz!

lesson was at 8am today too.. i'm just so TIRED.. maybe because i turned in too late yesterday.. but.. still feeling with sweetness.. after struggling and going through so much.. we are in our 2nd month.. and i'm praying day by day that everything will continue to go on so smoothly..

first lesson was BH.. totally just switch off from what mdm tan is teaching.. and concentrating so much on other things like facebook, friendster and my blog!! i know this shouldnt be the same.. BUT.. that's what e-learning is all about lahz.. after which is CN practical.. and we had a great time SLACKING.. cause.. we are asked to FEED an ADULT patient.. so.. we were given some time to BUY FOOD back into our LAB.. and take turns to FEED our CLASSMATES!! hahaz! so fun! THANKS to Ms Zhao and Ms Lang.. they just UNDERSTAND so WELL.. thinking that we would need a BREAK after our phase test!! kekez!

skip lesson from 1pm to 5pm... it was CMS and SW lesson.. BUT i didnt go.. applied for AL.. at 12pm.. when lesson ended, went to see Ms Jill at SDC.. Ms Jacqueline wanted to see us.. telling us about what are the changes made to independent studies will affect us.. guess.. for those graduating in april.. really SAD that the policy changes only NOW.. hais! for me! what to do? i'm ONLY GRADUATING in year 2009.. well well well...

after which, i had lunch at the cafe1 with Shaun, Chong, Nabil, Sam, Reezal and Guo Sheng.. but they left halfway.. leaving me with Shaun and Chong.. i was happily eating my teriyaki beef when all a sudden Shaun came out with a FUNNY and STUPID trick to steal my beef.... he kept asking me to turn.. saying that Tom is here.. i knew something was up in his mind.. so i didnt turn.. but ended up.. he FORCED my head to turn.. then steal my beef.. so CUTE lohz.. if he wants to eat, he can always ask me ar.. i'll be most WILLING to SHARE my food.. kekez!

then.. at around 1plus.. Chong left for his driving lesson.. FIRST lesson!! all the best huh! then leaving me with Shaun lohz. so.. we were randomly talking my past working experience and stuff.. and waited for Tom to come till we got a bit 不耐烦!! so we went to look for him at the SDC.. and indeed.. he's there.. happily watching the video Zaki had came up.. after which, we went back to cafe1.. cause Tom hasnt take his lunch yet.. then.. while he's eating.. we started to discuss about the ymca thing we are going to do next friday..and the same time.. we do side track lahz.. hahaz! that's NORMAL!

hais! we had totally NO IDEA what YOUTH AT RISK is all about.. so, remembering Stanley kor is working at ymca.. i gave him a call.. it's been SO LONG i hasnt hear his voice!! oh ya.. a short intro of who he is.. he's my senior in NPCC when i was in secondary school.. he's the CI (Cadet Inspector) in charge of my squad when i was in secondary 1 and 2.. ya.. was quite CLOSE with him when i was in secondary school.. and i got really LOTS of RUMOURS with him when he was taking our squad.. ya.. and i got SMALL crush for him too lahz! shall not denied that.. BUT.. now, he's my god brother.. and i TREAT him like my ELDER BROTHER!! and it's been years we didnt see each other!! hahaz! anyway, he's a NICE guy lahz! always there to help me when i was in my cca.. cause i everytime got gastric pain, he was the one who cares for me a lot.. then one of THOSE who always DRAGGED me into my CCA room to take MILO and MEDICATION.. really love lots moments in npcc!!

okie.. back track.. then.. we came out with a number of games also.. then.. Tom started talking about his hairy hand.. saying that one of the picture he took shows his hand.. and when he sees that picture.. he sees how HAIRY his hand is.. so FUNNY lohz.. makes me and Shaun laughed till our ORGANS are OUT!! who knows what happened next?? saw Jamal.. and he was saying that his girlfriend is still ANGRY with him.. hmmm.. PITY him!! he's a NICE guy with NO TEMPER.. but, his girlfriend.. hais! then Shaun's girlfriend came.. then Shaun started to intro me and Tom to her.. and who knows.. she knows who we are before Shaun said anything.. my goodness! she knows so clearly who are we.. then his girlfriend even 报料 that Shaun said before that Tom is very HAIRY!! lolx! SO FUNNY lohz!

after which, i left school.. and went to yishun polyclinic for my Hep B third jab.. after the jab.. i went home.. shower and sleep.. from 5pm all the way to 7th oct (this morning) 7.30am.. see the reason why my entry for yesterday was typed today morning? hahaz! anyway, i also dont know why i'm so TIRED!!

[ our 2nd month ]

our 2nd month

yupz.. today is 5th nov!! and it's our 2nd month.. guess this was one of the reason why i was so energetic today!! early morning when i woke up.. i saw dear's sms.. didnt expect he will send sms to me before i sent it to him.. yupz! HAPPY 2months dear..

as usual.. class is at 8am.. we had our every first period with Ms Zhao.. CN theory.. oh man! i just feel like sleeping.. only slept 5hours last night.. and i keep waking up.. i think i'm suffering from insomnia.. i gets more and more moody lesson after lesson.. and thinking that it's kind of SAD that we cant spend our 2nd month today.. BUT.. i didnt BLAME him at all.. cause he's actually having SC meeting..

lesson at MLT from 2pm to 4pm.. then went to take the sponsorship form from junyuan.. then.. i just dont know why.. we started to talk about Guosheng again.. somehow, our subject of conversation just cant let Guosheng out.. alamak! get kind of SICK of it.. but guess that's when we know we got the same thoughts towards some stuffs.. lolx! but thanks for printing me the form.. your efforts are appreciated!

after lesson.. went to meet Chong.. cause need to see Ms Jill to get the excuse letter for this friday's event.. after which.. went to look for tom at the sc room.. was complaining that he cant give up his meeting because it's a special day.. lolx! dont say that i'm unreasonable.. i didnt BLAME you at all.. jus making fun of you.. after which.. went on my way to century square to take bro's handphone.. and while walking out of the school gate.. i heard someone calling me.. oh gosh! guess who is it? the person i'm scared to see..... guosheng.. i guess me and chong would hope it isnt HIM..

then he start to ask.. where we are heading to.. and he's like so UNHAPPY that me and Chong now very good friends.. ya.. JEALOUS?! but WHO GIVES A DAMN!!?? hahaz! he wanted to accompany us to tampines so much.. and so LUCKY.. i managed to SHAKE him OFF.. hais! stress sia!

then.. i headed to century square.. oh gosh! there's almost 20people ahead of my queue number.. thanks to my bro lohz!! spoilt kid.. cant settle his own things on his own.. hais! then.. Dear called.. saying that his meeting is done.. and wants to come and meet me for dinner.. all a sudden.. the disappointment stage are filled with HOPE.. hahaz! at least a dinner is better than nothing.. and he even agreed to go for the camp in decemeber!! smile=]

we went to fish & co actually.. and i had my seafood platter!!!!! been so time away since i last eat fish & co.. think the last time was in april on melvin's birthday.. anyway. thanks DEAR for all these!! after the dinner itself, while walking up the escalator.. Dear was saying that it seems so fast.. and it's already our 2nd month already!! and he also said we kept quarrelling.. lolx! i also dont wish to ar.. he just dont know how many times i cried because of our agrument.. haiS!

after the dinner, we set off to take his new specs! then.. here comes my mom's HORNING.. horning me HOME! hais.. she just SPOILT my MOOD.. after taking my specs.. i went home.. ya.. on my own.. didnt want him to send either.. it's too far liao.....

going to sleep le.. tomorrow is going to be a longggggggg day!...

[ raya with yep family ]

raya with yep family

woke up quite early today.. 8.30am!! and it's sunday somemore!! alamak! why is my life so TOUGH?? hahaz! no lahz.. it's because i'm going out that's why i'm giving up my sleep.. something more different from other people.. when i want to go out, to avoid any nagging or scolding.. i just need to make an EXTRA EFFORT to PLEASE my MOM!! and what i did this time round is to HELP her do some HOUSEHOLD CHORES.. and i SWEEP and MOP the FLOOR!! and it's kind of like PATHETIC to do household chores as early as 8.30am.. if i can guai guai stay at home.. i might not need to xi sheng so much.. but anyway, i guess all these are WORTHWHILE..

after mopping the floor, i had my shower.. and then when i walked into my room.. my dearest handphone rang.. and it's from yeow chong.. they have finished their csc event at bishan park.. and asking if i'm ready to meet them up at bishan j8.. alamak! i just finished my shower.. havent do my morning prayers.. havent dress up yet.. and everyone is rushing me.. and that KIND-HEARTED chong almost dumped me with that sickening person.. SO GOOD FRIEND of HIM.. hahaz! but luckily he didnt.. if not, he will become 108pieces.. lolx!

i quickly put down the phone and went to prepare myself.. managed to get out of my house before 11am.. and reached j8 at around 11.20am.. suhui, guosheng, shaun and yeow chong were sitting at the food court.. so i went up to look for them.. the moment i stepped into the foodcourt.. i just feel that it's so SMOKY!! and makes me feel so SMELLY.. cause i just had my SHOWER!! alamak! there's goes the fragrant smell of my hair.. SOBX!

after sitting there for a while.. we went out of the foodcourt and went into mini toons.. shaun just cant stand me and suhui.. cause mini toons is so like a girls' paradise.. hahaz! and chong saw something interesting.. something like a light bulb.. and he accidentally dropped it.. luckily it's made of plastic material.. shaun just dragged me away when chong dropped the light bulb thing.. it's kind of LOUD.. and so paiseh!! hahaz!

suhui went in and bought a comb.. while the rest of us just walked around.. then we saw some cute designs of ash-tray.. like "NO SEX" stuff and that.. lolx! and it reminds us of my dearest.. hahaz! diaoz.. then we went into a shop beside the mini toons.. it's a shop that sells christian books and stuffs.. we were happily searching for the meaning of our names.. Jessica - means a blessed one.. and shaun.. he's so happy saying that shaun means - a gift from heaven or something.. lolx! suhui cant join us in the raya session.. she got driving lesson.. and here is shaun again.. giving advice and talking about his TP again.. hahaz! he's just still HAPPY over it!!

after which, we went to take bus88.. and we are to actually drop at shaun's girlfriend's house bus-stop.. so.. with his look filled with sympathy.. lolx! he asked if we could allow him to go up to his girlfriend's place for a while.. yupz! we are NICE PEOPLE.. of cause we will ALLOW!! lolx! he say he needs maybe around 20minutes.. but he came down after 10minutes.. that's fast!! and he gave us that HYPER look again!! and happily saying that his BATTERY is RECHARGED!! i like his way of doing things.. cause though it's just a 10minutes meet up.. he's still so thankful and grateful about it.. and didnt take things for granted at all.. lolx! while walking back to the bus-stop.. we saw bus93 coming!!!!!..... oh man! then.. our first reaction is to......... RUN!!!!!!!! oh man!!!! like so long never run liao.. then i'm wearing my dolly shoes and RUN!! alamak! so torturing!!

and shaun.. keep suan-ing me that i'm like princess.. eating japanese pearl rice and drinking distilled water and stuff.. and when i walked out of the sun.. he will asked if i need an umbrella.. feel so PAISEH!! through-out the journey, i didnt wanted to talk.. as usual lahz.. that guosheng made me so ANGRY.. time and again DISCOURAGING me to take up the sponsorship.. WHAT's the PROBLEM with YOU? dont EVER have the MINDSET that EVERYONE is SO NAIVE and ONLY YOU knows EVERYTHING.. i kept quiet through out the journey and think shaun and chong knows me WELL....

we reached eunos mrt station quite early.. it's only 12.30pm.. and we are meeting them at 1pm.. so.. our first station.. SWEETTALK bubble tea.. as usual.. i had peppermint milk tea.. and shaun had milk tea with small pearls.. he was drinking and playing with the pearls.. saying that he will stuff his mouth with the small pearls and when tom come, he will give him a pearl war!! lolx! end up, he actually kept his pearls in his mouth for 15minutes till he cannot take it anymore... lolx! cause tom is LATE!! as usual lahz huh.. hahaz!

but cant blame him also.. he worked till today morning.. so poor thing! on the way to nabil house.. journey through out was FUN.. nabil was happily tricking amalina that jamal's bike break down and that zaki and khai is not coming.. and innocent amalina actually believe him.. lolx! then we sat at nabil's house that bus-top and patiently waited for "jamal" to come.. but actually.. we are waiting for zaki and khairul.. we reached nabil place at around 2plus.. and we had some cute cute cakes and some dishes prepared by her mom.. NICE NICE!!

over at nabil's house.. we were still happily talking about the past incidents that happened in yunnan.. it's really unforgettable!! after at around 3plus.. we set off to amalina's place at toa poyah.. GREAT! it's near my place.. we took bus8 from nabil's house to toa poyah central.. through out the journey.. some were talking.. amalina is studying.. and some of us were sleeping.. dear was sleeping also.. think he's really TIRED after working over night.. hais! think i should start PLANNING my TIME and go back to WORK...

at the interchange, we took bus 235 to her place.. actually her place is just 2 bus stops away from the interchange.. but she TRICKED us!! it's a feeder bus so it actually goes one round and goes back to the interchange.. she LEARNED really FAST!! hahaz! the moment she opened the door of her place.. i feel it's so NICE!! her bedroom ESPECIALLY.. i want a QUEEN SIZE BED too!! we ate some nice biscuits.. drank F&N orange.. and watch the starhub cable tv.. on a ang moh girl's 16th birthday party.. her GIFT is a BMW!!! oh man!! that's so like SPOILT lohz.. but anyway, amalina's mom cooked for us too.. lontong, fried chicken wings, prawns with beef, sotong... etc.. and amalina's cousin is soooooooo CUTE!! i just love her..

then nabil was talking about asking khai to get marry first.. then someone said tom should be the first in the yep family.. then he said so loudly that he got no intention to get marry.. then all a sudden... all the eyes are on me!! then nabil said.. jess, you can throw away liao.. HAIS!! i just hope his perception of getting married will change as times passes by..

we left amalina's place at around 7plus.. then we went to toa poyah central.. then the guys actually find ways to let guosheng go home.. and then when tom saw that i'm still around.. he said: " why you still here? the plan we had was to make you and guosheng go home... " OH MAN!! i was so ANGRY at the moment.. tomorrow 2nd month today still must make my BLOOD BOIL!!! ARGH! as usual lahz.. after making me angry.. then he will find ways to make me smile again lohz.. now i know this quote is really TRUE!! .... "The person who makes you cry is usually the person who makes you smile...."

we went to the hdb hub and settled down at the coffee bean... and i had my favourite!! pure chocolate ice blended! we talked from topics to topics.. not leaving guosheng as one of the topics.. kind of sick to always talk about him.. cause it will reminds me how he made my BLOOD BOILED! argh! at around 9.. i went off.. kind of ANGRY actually.. shall not say what had happened.. and my mom called and NAG again!! as usual lahz.. her favourite pasttime is to HORN me HOME..

i'm tired le.. turning in early.. tomorrow is 5th NOV!! kekez =]

[ *甜甜圈* ]

*甜甜圈*

haiS! cant imagine that it's a SATURDAY yet i have to wake up at 5.30am to go SCHOOL! oh my goodness! i'm just too TIRED!! been dragging myself out of my cosy bed this few days!! oh gosh! how i wish i can have a proper sleep..

early morning.. had my shower and did my morning prayers.. really praying hard that i can do well in this phase test.. and around 6.15am, i step out of the house and went on my way.. really TIRED.. the FIRST thing i did was to SLEEP when i boarded the bus.. then on the bus to school, i saw MDM QIAN!! kekez! she's was encouraging me and ask me not to be so NERVOUS for the phase test.. ALAMAK! how can i not be nervous? and must thanks mdm qian also.. she treated me breakfast!! thank you so much..

after that, i went up the lockers area and sat down to do some last minute revision and eat my yummy bread.. our waiting area is at the t06-23.. and the phase test for our class is at t06-20.. was praying really hard in my heart.. and it was so NICE of Fara to crack jokes to distract our attention.. hahaz! thank you so much! it was really FAST!! 9am and it's my turn already.. i'm really very NERVOUS.. till i forgotten that i must tell the patient what i am doing before i go and collect my requisites!! alamak! luckily when i was collecting the requistes i can remember what steps i missed.. so lucky.. and it's so NICE of the teacher to allow me to repeat this step again..

it tooks me about 15minutes to finish the whole procedure.. much faster than many others.. and then.. i waited for Nadiah, Farhan, Ramlan and Shiffa to finish the phase test.. while waiting for them, i sat at the lockers area and talked to junyuan.. was talking about the hospital bonding thing again.. hais! i also dont know should i take up the bond or not.. and worried very much that i cant do well..

after which.. me, shiffa and farhan went to tampines mac to have our breakfast.. i'm really making myself confused.. i wanted so badly to lose weight.. and i managed to lose 1kg in this one week.. guess the one kg lost is gain because of the sausage mcmuffin with egg meal.. alamak! after the breakfast, i went home and sleep.. supposed to do something for mom.. but now, she settled on her own liao.. so, i can go sleep PEACEFULLY!! hahaz! but so sorry to joyce.. must dump her alone to study cause i need to do things for my mom.. end up, didnt help her also..

slept till 3.30pm before i wake up.. need to wash up and do my evening prayers.. meeting xue ling at bukit panjang plaza for 6pm.. dinner at cafe cartal.. i didnt eat anything much cause mom cooked dinner at home.. so got to rush home later for my dinner.. was discussing and talking about my transfer from my district to her district.. and getting information about my new members over at her district.. kind of stress over the transfer.. jus afraid that i cant cope with it.. doesnt seems to be putting in efforts in my studies in this term.. i seems to be distracted.. i also dont know what's the course.. but i can be definite that it's not relationship.. maybe because i'm psychologically and physiologically TIRED??

hasnt been sleeping well.. and that's e reason why i'm always craving for afternoon naps.. well, must do something to it liao.. as in to my studies.. shall chant and come out for soka activities more.. i know i'm slacking and sleeping for too LONG...... i dont want to disappoint my family and my friends who are putting high hope on me.. and well, must really thank my soka friends who gave me lots of encouragement from the moment i have decided to come back to school.. thanks guys! dinner was chicken soup mian xian!! one of my favourite! you just cant find anything nicer than my own mom's cooking.. bloated now!

going to sleep le.. meeting with yep family tomorrow! raya i'm coming!!!!!~

[ drowsy queen ]

drowsy queen

early morning.. woke up at 5am as usual.. didnt really sleep yesterday.. slept quite late at around 12am like that.. was on the phone with dear yesterday and he said he will call me back.. end up.. i waited for his call till i fall asleep.. bad right? never call but never inform.. then i also stupid stupid also wait for him to call..

early morning.. call him at 7am to wake him up for school.. that's e privilege of staying so near the school.. 7am i already reach school liao le.. but he still can relax and wake up and shower.. first lesson was behavioural science at com lab.. and i sms him.. but he didnt reply.. so i was telling nad that he must have skip school today.. and indeed.. i guess correctly.. he's having a headache and skip school today.. must be have slept late yesterday again.. also good lahz.. today's timetable and he's working at 6pm.. it will be good if he can sleep more..

during behavioural science lesson.. mdm tan was telling us that babies who are not breast feed when they are young will have the tendency of feeling insecure when they grow up.. hahaz! true.. now i know why i will feel insecure so easily le.. cause i'm not being breast feed when i was a baby! hahaz! interesting thing that i have found out.. CN lesson was as usual.. to practice on insertion of NG tube and and feeding.. i did tried once to practice today..

i feel that i have did better compared to yesterday.. but i kept forgetting to do handrub before and after procedure and forget to put down the cotside when i'm serving the patient.. aiyoz.. infection control fail ar! i just hope that i wont be so nervous tomorrow and can score well..cause i know i wont do well in the behavioural science test liao le.. ms zhao got high expectation on me.. she feels that i can do well.. i dont wish to disappoint her.. dont wish to disappoint mrs tang and mdm emily ng too! and wants badly to prove my parents wrong.. i want them to feel proud that even though i'm attached.. i still can do well in my studies..

and poor him.. because of me, he really working very hard.. 5days a week.. hais! see him like that i also xin tong cause i know he dont have the time to rest and sleep well.. must be very stressful like that.. somemore he only left with one more sem in school le.. and he's graduating.. sobx! actually this is the part i worry a lot.. i scare when he step out of the working society.. it will be more difficult for us to meet up.. and i'm afraid he will find me too childish cause i'm still schooling.. well.. shall not worry much.. just want to cherish NOW!

came home after i sent my brother's handphone for repair.. and had my shower and skipped my lunch.. cause i'm just pure LAZY and wants to SLEEP badly.. plus i want to LOSE WEIGHT! that's e crucial point.. hahaz! really like drowsy queen like that.. went to bed and woke up at 4plus to ring dear up.. first thing when he feel my voice.. he know i'm sleeping liao.. really tired.. and went back to sleep again! till about 6.30 when melvin called and woke me up.. he was asking if i'm meeting siyi or not.. cause it's her birthday today!! and ying hui's too! happy birthday sister! and my dearest daughter, yinghui..

after waking up, i was sneezing all the way.. feeling so terrible now.. and tomorrow is phase test! oh man! praying hard to do well! wish me all the best! smile=]

get to go liao.. still must iron my own uniform! take care my dear friends!

[ appreciating those around me, and remembering those who have left me ]

appreciating those around me, and remembering those who have left me

hmmm.. it's my blood drive today.. and was really busy yesterday running from place to place.. early morning, 8am.. we had our first behaviour science test at the MLT.. oh man! i guess i wont do well though me and shiffa have both guess one topic for the short answer questions.. but, i didnt really have the time to revise and study.. hais! guess i'm going to do badly for my very test in this new term.. hais! this is going to be something that will demoralised me.. hais!

shall not talk about that.. after the test.. we went back to the nursing lab for our clinical nursing practical.. and i actually get ms zhao to assess my NG tube insertion before i go for the blood drive volunteer at 11am.. well, i'm not really that confident.. and i'm really tired.. didnt have the time to really sleep and rest well.. i think i really disappointed ms zhao in terms of my performance during the NG tube insertion.. hais! well, i have made the conviction that i will buck up and do well in this term.. wont want to disappoint my parents as well..

and something happy to share.. i feel i have did quite well in my independent studies module.. so happy! and the blood drive.. i must really thank JN0704C classmates of mine and my YEP FAMILY!!.. thanks for coming to support me and the blood drive.. let's thank the YEP family one by one..

Carolyn - thanks for donating your blood and supporting the red cross fund raising!
Miao Zhen - thanks for donating your blood!
Jun Jie - thanks for dropping by to give me moral support though you cant donate blood!
Amalina - thanks for picking up your courage to come forward and donate your blood and support the red cross fund raising as well!
Sam - thanks for donating your blood for the first time and support the fund raising as well!
Guo Sheng - thanks for trying and donated your blood for the first time!
Yeow Chong - thanks for dropping by to give me moral support and thanks for saving my stomach!
Shaun - thanks for rushing down in a cab after your TP and even kept your stomach empty. and thanks for picking up your courage to donate your blood for the first time!
Dear - thanks for giving up your sleep and come down to donate your blood. and thanks for asking the yep family to come and support me as well!
Su Hui - thanks for dropping by to give me the moral support and spreading the news for me!
Jamal - thanks for dropping by to give me the moral support and thanks for that hug!
Nabil - thanks for dropping by to give me moral support!

JN0704C - thanks everyone for donating and trying to donate!! Nad, Farhan and Shiffa especially! so happy you guys came! too many people.. cant really rememeber who donated.

Junyuan - thanks for trying to donate when you arent feeling that well! got lots of opportunity next time!
Ashiqa - thanks for coming to donate your blood!
Elli - thanks for trying to donate your blood!

after all, i feel really happy yesterday.. especially when my yep family members came down to support me! love you guys a lot.. and i really have a great time eating dinner with Shaun, Dear, Chong and GS.. thanks for everything guys! and... i'm really happy to see Shaun "back to normal" again.. and congrats for passing your TP! smile=]

and suddenly.. while typing this entry.. i thought of li hua jie jie.. hais! i'm going to start to learn to appreciate those around me more.. and remembering those who have left me.. and.. as what people always say.. i'm a person who gets contented very easily.. dear friends, am i? tag me for your response!