[ essential disciples, arise! ]

[ essential disciples, arise! ]

it was a STRUGGLE for me today! cause i have to wake up EARLY and get myself ready for SD Kensyu.. luckily, the venue is at senja.. not that far from my place.. if it's at jurong kaikan, i'm sure i'll be DEAD! though i doesnt have much problem about puncuality.. BUT, lately, i got BIG PROBLEM over waking up EARLY! even if i wake up LATE, i will still CRAVE for afternoon nap.. and even if i have afternoon nap, i would want to turn in EARLY in the night.. just want to stay in bed.. i just dont know why no matter how much REST i get, i'll still feel TIRED! am i really TIRED? or just feel TIRED? i got no idea too! ^-^

ya.. though i kind of like drag myself out of bed, i know i cant miss this SD kensyu.. what kensyu means? i guess many of you are wondering? (=.=!?).. it means training course.. and SD stands for Student Division.. in the SD itself, it consists of many institution like Ite, different polytechnic, ASD (A'level Student Division), and many other universities.. and i'm given a TASK today.. and that's the narratoring for the skit by SP and Ite.. so, i must be there.. if not my comrade, Kris will DIE.. lolx!

ya.. it's a RESPONSIBILITY thing lahz.. since i promised and i take up this role, i must fulfill it and do it well! isnt it the right way? activities planned were NICE! BUT, i seriously think that there's too many sharing till many of us feel like falling asleep.. somemore, many of them are staying quite far from the kaikan.. BUT, i saw many close friends of mine.. had a short chat with Jin Haw and Jih Yang daddy too! seriously, i owe it to you, Jin Haw.. if not because of her encouraging me, i wont be studying nursing now in Ite.. thank you so much for what you have done! i will always remember this! ^-^ and as for Jih Yang daddy, if not because of him, all the chingay'07 trainers will go through training emptied stomach and we wouldnt have grow so much without your guidances and your tender, loving, care!!

just MISSES the chingay trainings a lot! ya.. as Jih Yang daddy said, i'm the Naima of Chingay'07 ar! really misses my children a lot! ya.. and my er zi, Darren came to look for me today.. and passed me my christmas present, CHOCOLATEs! BUT, i on diet lehz.. kind of WRONG timing to give me chocolates at this time.. BUT it reminds me of having to pronounce chocolates.. if Khai papa is here, he will sure LAUGH at me! Dinner was SUSHI! just eating some sushi with mom.. a TIRED day i should say.. BUT, FUN! especially when i see how the Toda Sheng long is acting.. SO REAL! the round spectacles and moustache made by ME!

i guess i forge lots of comradeship during this kensyu.. if not because of my involvement in the skit, i wont attend the kensyu i think.. maybe it's like near the end of the year, i just long for a BREAK! mentor-and-disciples spirit! and about the writing of resolution.. i told Peixuan, "you can write.. i resoluted to be a chapter chief in 3years time"... and she really wrote it! lolx!

suddenly feel SIANZ! yupz.. shall not think too much about those unneccessary stuffs.. sometimes, i just HATE to be ALONE.. cause i will start to have deep thoughts into things that are bothering me and affecting me.. yet, i'm RUNNING AWAY from it.. maybe like Pinwen say in his shout-out, "i merely walked away".. i just rememeber that when Peixuan tells me about the crush that guy has on her, i still tell her.. "avoiding cant solve problem, face it daringly with courage".. Jessica loh, why cant you put what you adviced people into actions? 2008 is just one day away!

i have always face relationship stuffs much more daringly than this time.. this time i lost.. i lost to the strong feelings i have.. i didnt know it's that DEEP already! i dont know why things are like that now? why act like strangers? why so COLD? i just wish to find out the answers behind all my questions.. yet, i'm afraid to hear things i dont wish to hear.. and afraid that things that i wont wish it to happen will happen.. i want a simple love, a simple life.. with you around!

i still love you! do you?


things wont change overnight, but they will change! hold on to your beliefs^-^