[ 爱一个人好难 love someone is difficult ]

[ 爱一个人好难 love someone is difficult ]

today is my chinese birthday! ya.. woke up at 7.30am this morning.. cause i'm heading to ah gong's place to pay respects to my ah ma.. and to cck where her ash is placed to pay respects.. and when i woke up.. mom said something that i totally FORGOTTEN! today is the 7th day ah ma passed away.. and chinese always believed that during the 7th day, the decreased will come and visit his/her family.. and from 2-5pm is the time.. mom didnt want to SCARE me so she kept quiet..

by breaking this news to me set my goose pimples rising.. ya.. it's my grandma but it's kind of SCARY to hear this kind of thing.. oh ya.. must ANNOUNCE something.. LAST person who wish me on my BIRTHDAY is my dearest cousin (biao mei) - An ni!! thanks girl! you're real CUTE! and Daryl sms me too.. and asked how i spent my birthday.. well.. didnt celebrate.. and i broke the news about my grandma's death to him..

he was kind of SHOCKED to hear that.. after so many years we broke up, i cant BELIEVE he still remember that my grandma stays at lakeside.. hmmm, anyway, mom is accepting.. and i am too.. though i think i still MISSES her a lot.. ah ma, you will remain in our hearts! and thanks for bringing the kinship between the cousins closer!

reached ah gong house and went to wake Wanqi up.. Ah gong still seems to be quite SAD.. hais! ya, 50 over years as husband and wife.. i guess he really have lots of REGRETS! that is the CONSEQUENCE he faced taking things for granted.. i think he really REGRETTED why he didnt patched up with ah ma even till the last moment.. hais! now, i can see ah gong dropping tears everyday and see him with his face of guilt..

was discussing about ah ma's hospital matters today.. and 2nd uncle (二舅) mentioned that he will lodge complain once he settle ah ma's funeral stuf.. we just feel that ah ma shouldnt have leave us just like that.. and many nurses really deserved to be sacked.. set off to cck at around 10plus 11.. finally settled ah ma's funeral wake.. i think everyone who really gave their heart in the wake deserve a good REST!

lunch was on 2nd uncle (二舅) today.. and jurong east.. NICEST meal i ever had for the past few days.. starting to MISS my cousins! Manting, Seeleng, Wanqi, An Ni, Yong Hwee, Xiang Hao, Deyun and Nanchun korkor.. for the past few days, we'll been STICKING TOGETHER like honey and bees! LOVE THEM THE MOST!! Wanqi, me and my brother went to 2nd uncle's (二舅) place after lunch.. and 二舅母 (2nd uncle's wife) took out some old photos to let us see.. and i realised that from young, i'm on very GOOD TERMS with Deyun le.. as young when we were BORN!

二舅母 (2nd uncle's wife) sent us back to ah gong place at around 3plus.. and me, my brother and Wanqi went to Jurong Point to shop and grab some t-shirts.. as for the next 42days till it reaches 49th days after ah ma's death, we have to wear clothes of colours like black, white, grey, blue.. that's for my uncles' children.. as for me and my brother, we choose not to cause she's our maternal grandma.. but... i think i will wear.. in a form of respect.. i already gave up my birthday celebration, so i think it's nothing..

we went to do manicure also.. to cheer ourselves up and Wanqi bought two white tee-shirts from Hang ten.. i think i am going to spoil the manicure in 2days time ba.. i so ROUGH! lolx! we ate sushi too! i just feel like eating Sakae Sushi!!!! was asked home by ah gong for dinner.. and after dinner, 小舅 (youngest uncle) went to pick mom from work and drove us home!! thank you! i'm so TIRED after such a long day!! i just want to sleep..

plans for tomorrow - 10am to 12pm - rehearsal for SD Kensyu Skit
- 1.30pm onwards - meeting Yep family at Pasir Ris for ESCAPE!!
plans for sunday - meeting Francis to take my present
- meeting Darren er zi for lunch and my present

it's going to be a long day again tomorrow.. i want to SLEEP!!~

heard this song when i was on 小舅 (youngest uncle)'s car going home..

it's by 苏永康 - title: 爱一个人好难

你说你还是喜欢孤单 其实你怕被我看穿
你怕属于我们的船 飘飘荡荡靠不了岸
时到如今没有答案 我的真心为你牵荡
不管相见的夜多么难堪 渐渐淡淡的说
爱是不爱 想要把你忘记真的好难
思念的痛在我心里纠缠 朝朝暮暮的期盼
永远没有答案 为何当初你选择一刀两段
听你说声爱我真的好难 曾经说过的话风吹云散
站在天平的两端 一样的为难
唯一的答案 爱一个人好难

时到如今没有答案 我的真心为你牵荡
不管相见的夜多么难堪 渐渐淡淡的说
爱是不爱想 要把你忘记真的好难
思念的痛在我心里纠缠 朝朝暮暮的期盼
永远没有答案 为何当初你选择一刀两段
听你说声爱我真的好难 曾经说过的话风吹云散
站在天平的两端 一样的为难
唯一的答案 爱一个人好难

想要把你忘记真的好难 思念的痛在我心里纠缠
朝朝暮暮的期盼 永远没有答案
为何当初你选择一刀两段 听你说声爱我真的好难
曾经说过的话风吹云散 站在天平的两端
一样的为难 唯一的答案
爱一个人好难

suddenly, i feel so EMOTIC.. i just dont know why.. it's a old song that speaks us manys' feelings.. including MINE now...