woke up quite EARLY today.. though i slept at almost 2am this morning.. was already awaken at 10am.. cause when i sleep.. i'll just dreamt that i seriously have no time to waste! must STUDY!!! CN paper is TOMORROW!! oh gosh!! had my breakfast and lunch at the same time.. SAVE money and SAVE time!! then i started to revise on my BHS first.. got to finish the worksheets first before i start to revise my CN..
and halfway through my revision.. mom called.. and NAG.. what should can she say? instead of asking me to revise my work and be more CONCERN about my exams.. she asked me to DO HOUSEWORK!! she wants me to mop and sweep the floor!! i got NO SPARE time to waste.. yet, she cant be UNDERSTANDING!! bro is ROTTING at home and playing computer at home.. why cant you get him to do it? just because i am girl means i have to do all these? yes, i know you're TIRED that you need to work and cope with housework as well! but isnt that a responsibility a married woman should have?
when i dont do well in my studies, you blame me for being not concentrated.. you pushed that blame to my boyfriend.. saying that i cant concentrate because i have a boyfriend.. BUT, have you and dad encouraged me and help me in any way? by giving me money is what you call TENDER, LOVING, CARE? that's plain BULL-SHIT! all i need is more love, more attention!! and someone who can UNDERSTAND how i feel!!
dont always think that ITE is nothing.. is still a school.. i'm still studying.. i wont let you LOOK down on ME de.. i will PROVE you WRONG that i can make it till the end! and nursing is my PASSION.. not a DIRTY job like you think!
i still did the housework.. not because i want to STOP her from NAGGING.. but because i know by exerting my anger on mopping the floor.. i will feel better.. that's call SUBLIMATION! managed to finish the sweeping and mopping by 4plus.. then i had my shower and continued with my revision..
i just dont know why.. the more i feel like studying.. the more i will feel that nothing seems to get into my mind! just hoping exams is can be OVER soon! want to enjoy and relax! so many things happened today.. and makes me think a lot.. i started to realise the reason behind all the cold shoulders from you.. maybe because you just feel suffocated and feel that you no longer have your own space.. but have you try finding out the reason of me doing this?
like i say.. from young, i'm living in an environment i have never feel secure.. i live days after days of fear.. i guess this was the reason why i develop a tendency of afraiding to lose things.. and lose those i cherish.. can you tell me what did i do wrong?
Shaun called at 8plus.. asking me to BOOK Wuihou on the 10th first.. ya.. it's his BIRTHDAY! SURPRISE will come along.. just hoping it will be enjoyable!!=]
off to revise.. i am going CRAZY with my NOTES!! =(
The human spirit is the strongest force there is.
As long as our spirit remains unbroken, there is no defeat.
In life, spiritual defeat always precedes actual defeat.
Guard against laziness, cowardice, carelessness, impatience, resignation and despair which corrode the human spirit and sow the seeds of defeat.
-Daisaku Ikeda-
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