think i have been bluffing myself all this while.. yesterday while i was watching the korean drama show.. i cried suddenly.. i thought i have already let go.. but actually i didnt.. i just want others to know i am a STRONG girl.. and that i can take any blow that come about.. was on the phone with Catherine yesterday and i told her about that incident.. think she was surprised that i am okie.. even MOM was SURPRISED.. this was how our conversation goes...
Mom: "girl, why arent you sad this time round?"
Me: "i sad you know mehz?"
Mom: "Of cause i will know, i'm your mom after all.."
Me: *laughed* "maybe because i reach a certain age, this kind of thing will not take it to heart ba.." *wahahaz* "sound like i very old right? dont worry lahz mom.. old ones dont go new ones wont come ma.."
NOW, then i know that 我一直压抑我的情绪.. 我不想让别人替我担心... i just dont want them to see me crying.. i just dont want them to see the weaker side of me.. 我也想变得软弱,但我可以吗? 谁可以暂时让我放下我坚强的一面? 让我也能大声痛哭.. 让我发泄压抑很久的情绪..... 放不下就放不下... 为何要掩饰呢? maybe i just dont want YOU to feel guilty ba.. hais.. dont think so highly of yourself le, Jessica Loh.. you are just another passer-by.. why must people feel guilty ar?
i couldnt sleep well last night.. was feeling so cold that i have to hide myself in the blanket and off the fan.. and this morning till now, my stomach isnt feeling that well.. and my appetite arent that good.. only ate 1/3 of my noodles and i dumped it liao.. thank god mom was understanding this time.. she know she should not 在我的伤口上沙盐.. mom gave me money to buy new year clothes.. and i bought two tops.. i can say i like it very much.. BUT, i dont know if mom likes it.. hopes she wont NAG...
received this email from Shiffa.. find it quite interesting and i feel it's MEANINGFUL..
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person..
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life,
whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.
i must say.. thank you for being in my life for a REASON.... YOU gave me HOPE, bring me JOY and scattered my dreams AGAIN.. i must say that i did suffer and feel unhappy.. BUT.. i NEVER blame YOU at all for this.. maybe i'm NO LONGER the person who can make YOU laugh.. i'm NO LONGER the girl who looked like the one you dreamed.. it was my FAULT.. maybe i'm just NOT GOOD enough.. YOU will find the one who you looked like the one you dreamed.. thank you for setting me FREE...
cute? find it interesting..
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