[ life still have to goes on..... ]

life still have to goes on.....

my day start MUCH MUCH EARLIER today.. 4.40am!!! Mom thought i was sleep-walking to wake up so EARLY.. hahaz.. so CUTE of her lohz^-^ ... had shower and did my morning prayers.. just HOPES everything can go through smoothly TODAY.. went out of my house at 5.30am and headed to yishun bus interchange to meet suhaini.. managed to reach the hospital at 6.20am.. i'm seriously VERY TIRED after yesterday.. think my body still adapting ba..

seriously.. every second was FILLED with FEAR when i'm in the ward.. cause i just dont know how things work and how they get things done in the ward.. EARLY morning.. got to see that actually not every patient gargles their mouth before breakfast.. MY GODNESS! arent our job assisting them to get back to their healthy state or at least improved? hais! it just makes me feel so dishearted seeing them doing things like that..

after breakfast was sponging and shower time.. cant imagine that they actually use ONLY wet wipes to do sponging only.. how can it helps to maintain hygiene needs? hais.. went break with Suhaini and Davinder together.. have lots of FUN together.. hahaz! back to ward at about 11am.. and helped to serve diet for the patients.. did quite many stuffs today.. helped to assist my patient in eating also.. did parameters.. help patient to toilet.. help patients make tea,milk, help to do changing and turning, do translation for staff nurse and collect stool specimen today..

i must say.. my Staff Nurse in charge, Candy is really NICE.. she even THANK me today for helping her.. and another NYP student - Xiong Yun.. she's NICE too.. Ashiqa talked to me today.. she said that she feel that she seems to lose intested in this course.. oh dear.. that's TERRIBLE.. just suddenly feel.. will there be a day i will feel the same as her? just HOPES i can learn as much and HOPES it can help to keep me going.. i want to be someone near to Florence Nightingale.. to be a GOOD NURSE.. i have lost Lihua jiejie, lost Ah ma.. i dont wish to lose ANYONE anymore..

after work.. went to HR department to look for Gina.. BUT, she isnt around.. so i just pass the documents to her colleague.. home with Suhaini and Kusham.. had prawns taco balls too.. just so TIRED till i dozed off in the bus.. my legs are just so HURTING.. and something more is KILLING me.. my gums are having ULCERS!!!!!! sobx! really very PAINFUL.. eating is just a TERRIBLE thing for me now..

was ironing my clothes and suddenly, a thought strike my mind.. Am i very HARSH to those around me? Am i a cold-bleeded and heartless person? i feel that there's a NEED for me to be more RESERVED.. be it in my words, my action, my perception of things, and... my stand on relationship.. i'm really TIRED.. on morning shift tomorrow.. 7-3pm AGAIN!! i need MORE SLEEP!
off to sleep!

something MEANINGFUL to share..

我對佛說：讓我所有朋友永遠健康快樂 ~ ！

佛說：只能四天~ ！
我說：好, 春天、夏天、秋天、 冬天。

佛說：三天。
我說：好，昨天 、今天 、明天 。

佛說：行，兩天。
我說：好，白天 、黑天 。

佛說：NO, 就一天~ ！
我說：好！

佛問：哪一天？
我說：在我所有朋友活著的每一天！~

佛笑了……說：以後你所有朋友將天天健康快~


i'm living with agony... i hate the ME now...