[ let mi go 2 rest ]

[ let mi go 2 rest ]

haiz.. it's 11 plus liao.. yet i still awake n still blogging.. lolx(>.<).. was out wif zhongteck, ziyuan, kenneth, weidong n yun jus now.. went 2 view e npcc dae parade at e hq 2dae.. it's at e new campus.. at chua chu kang.. hmmm.. we took e chartered bus at cck interchange.. ah yun 4gotten tat's a chartered bus so she went 2 tap her ez-link.. lolx.. so funny.. make much much nicer n bigger than e old one.. n definitely dun look as scary.. lolx.. heez.. realli mizzes ms liang alot.. saw lian kiat, weiqi they all.. liankiat.. tis name sound familiar rite?? hahaz.. he's our squadmate.. okie.. i repeat.. he belongs 2 nco warriors 03'04.. not 04'05 de okie.. yet.. he joined them.. mayb i jus dun gd bein wif them.. i mean nco from 04'05 lahz..

i sae sumthingy veri bad 2dae.. i sae abt e nco from 04'05.. summore use weidong's squad 2 describe them.. weidong mus b veri angry wif mi.. haiz.. sorrie weidong.. i noe i'm haste in my words.. didnt get 2 c ms liang.. cos it's jus too crowded.. 10th gold award.. will there still b e 11th one?? (>.<).. saw haven been eatin anythingy since mornin.. so damn hungry.. yet tat stupid bdae boi ong zhong teck wanna go till bugis n eat.. sae wanna watch soccer.. oh gosh.. end up.. after much arguement.. they decided 2 eat at clementi.. n oh cos at coffee shop cos they wanna watch soccer lohz.. haiz.. soccer nice mehz? kick here kick there still a ball.. lolx.. e coffeeshop near 7-eleven.. aiyoz.. so mani old man.. all look like lecher.. lolx.. jus make mi feel like i'm in geylang.. lolx.. end up.. mi n yun decided 2 go 2 mac 4 dinner.. n dunoe y.. weidong n kenneth decided 2 tag along.. but tat stupid kenneth... i go buy food then he left 4 hm liao le.. haiz..

ah yun ate nugget meal n i ate macspicy meal.. lolx.. n i love mayo a lot.. guess wat.. wei dong ate e same thingyas well.. oh gosh~ he sae.. "oh no.. i got e same taste as u".... lolx(>.<).. shockingly.. alwaz sae my taste veri poor.. lolx(=.=).. sum pple's taste is jus as poor.. ho ho ho (#.#).. saw rainbow 2dae oso.. i almost 4gotten.. kekez.. mayb bcos now adays keep rainin ba.. rain.. plz take away my worries wif u.... at mac.. we tok abt mani of e past np stuff.. n realli awaken lotsa of saddenin moments as well as angry moments.. n of cos.. sum sickenin pple who left our lives wif scars n make our lives inprefect.. but i'm sure.. those scars realli make us learned n grew from it..

but these sickenin pple out there.. r u awaken 2 ur own mistakes?? bu yao yi cuo zai cuo le, ni hui yue xian yue shen de.. dao shi huo, jiu hui yi fa bu ke shou shi.. on our way back, i mean mi, ah yun n au ben dan.. we were waitin 4 bus at clementi interchange.. then got 3 foreign workers kept starin n walkin pass mi n ah yun.. hahaz.. guess wat.. au ben dan stands closer 2 us.. heez.. end up.. their bus cum le.. leavin mi alone waitin 4 bus 282.. oh gosh.. guess wat.. e 3 men boarded e same bus as mi.. n they jus sit opp mi.. n kept starin at mi.. if not of weidong's reaction, i wun b so terrified.. alamak.. luckily, my mom n didi jus return from outside.. so i called them 2 pick mi up at e bus stop.. after tis incident.. guess i'll try 2 return hm earlier..

[[ x zao ji zhe ni ........ zao ji zhe shi ji mei you ni x ]]

[ zao ji zhe ni... zao ji zhe shi ji mei you ni ]

haiz.. 2dae.. i actuall set my alarm clock 2 wakey at 10am tis mornin.. n guess wat.. i woke up at 8++.. haiz.. n then i went 4 breakfast wif my dad,mom n didi at e usual coffeeshop we alwaz visit on sundae mornin.. i had a bowl of fish porriage n a cup of hot milo.. cos mom sae early mornin cannot drink cold drinks.. i added egg 4 e porriage n guess wat.. it's so raw though i kept covering e egg wif e warm porriage.. *yuck* .. got e raw raw smell veri disgusting..

walkin around wif my dolly hairstyle.. feel so weird.. heez.. but.. it's a gd change ma.. at least i look younger.. after which, i met catherine at clementi n had our lunch at mac.. hmmm.. after which we went 2 shop 4 mascara at watson.. then we headed 2 tampines by mrt.. got 2 hear 2 veri touching testi from 2 of our soka mbers.. realli veri touching.. i even drop tears.. every time i hear testi from our soka mbers, i will feel tat actuall my life isnt as bad actuall lahz.. so thru hearin testi from them, it will realli encourages mi a lot.. it will encourage mi 2 move on..

on our way, catherine vomitted on e mrt.. oh gosh!! scare mi.. mayb bcos too mani pple liao then veri stuffy lohz.. haiz.. i met yun at tiong.. then she went shoppin 4 clothes.. haiz.. how i wish i can new clothes too.. but.. my mom restricts mi from buyin.. cos i realli got too mani clothes in my wardrode liao le.. summmore sum nv even wear b4 de.. saw sum realli nice ladies' slippers.. realli feel like buyin.. but slippers n shoes oso a lot.. so dare not buy scare mom scold.. lolx.. heez.. cos i movin hse soon liao le.. if got mani stuff.. then will hav sum probz.. though i gonna hav my own room soon.. heez.. but stay in e west so long.. all a sudden movin 2 north side.. feelin a bit uneasy.. i still love my old hse at bukit batok.. though i onli stay there 5 yrs..

but majority of my frenz stay in west n south.. my soka activities r oso in e west.. haiz.. realli veri tired ar.. realli.. i wanna go on holidae!!! i wanna travel!!!

i jus fulfill one of my wishes!!!!

[ i jus fulfill one of my wishes!!!! ]

heez.. guess y i am online at tis hr?? coz i jus came hm from hougang.. heez.. wat am i doin there?? mi n yun went 2 one of e salon there.. actuall.. my job 2dae is 2 fulfill her wish of doin rebonding lahz.. so i brought there 2 search 4 salons lohz.. end up.. we actuall went back 2 e same salon where i did my ice rebondin abt 1 1/2 yr ago.. lolx.. lolx.. c my nick u mus tink i go do rebonding again.. but.. no lahz.. i didnt.. coz my mom lohz.. she dun wanna give mi money do.. she sae will spoil my hair texture then e chemical oso not gd 4 my hair.. i nv do perming oso lahz.. coz my mom sae too chao lao liao.. rebonding alread makes much more matured than b4.. so nv intend 2 turn older.. lolx.. summore.. i scare.. scare it dun suits mi well..

now.. my whole hair is clean clean n filled wif a bit of salon smell.. coz i hav alread been stuck there from 3++ till 7++.. lolx.. coz yun do shiseido rebonding ma.. heez.. but rebonding indeed makes her look more presentable.. lolx.. she goin 2 chop mi when she reads my entry.. lolx.. heez(=.=!!).. lolx.. wat i hav done wif my hair?? i jus fulfill e 1st dream listed on my wishlist.. n tat's a new hairstyle.. yeah!!!! plz look below..


tat's how my hair looks like durin my sec 4 life b4 i do my rebonding


tat's how my hair looks like in feb durin chinese new yr


tat's how my hair looks like in april at melvin's bdae celebration


tat's how my hair looks like now......... (=.=!!)


big big changes after 2 yrs rite?? lolx.. mus tu po ma.. heez.. anw.. i'm realli satisfied wif my hairstyle now.. a new hairstyle.. a new start.. heez.. gambatie..

dai zui gao yang

[ dai zui gao yang ]

few daes again.. i jus met a veri frustrating incident.. tat's was on tuesdae,11th of april.. haiz.. as usual.. i'm alwaz veri busi at work.. in order nt 2 delay my work.. i skipped e tea break at 10am.. yet, my leader, xiao jun, my da jie,xiu juan n my fren anna still continue 2 go 4 their tea break.. due 2 shortage of tubes 4 our cutters, one of e sales-person actuall mentioned tis probz durin our company daily production meetin.. due 2 tat probz bein mentioned, actions had 2 b carried out 2 get tis probz solve 4 e moment.. e admin manager who is oso in charge of e purchasing of tubes actuall went 2 e store where our cutters r kept as stock 2 search 4 old tubes.. truely, they found quite a no of tubes..

e admin manager is frustrated bein e complain lodged.. she atuall went 2 question my 3 seniors.. n guess wat.. my leader sae tat she actuall instructed mi 2 go 2 e store 2 search 4 it but i told her i cannot find.. oh wat e ... tat's e frustrating part.. she didnt even instruct mi 2 search 4 e tubes 4 e cutters left on e shelf in qc.. wat e hell!! how can she push e blame 2 mi?? how can?? as a senior, as a leader, how can do such a thingy 2 her junior?? HOW CAN?? i realli feel saddenin workin in tis department.. my da jie n anna actuall suggest mi 2 go tell e admin manager e truth.. but i noe.. there's no point sayin anythingy more.. my manager will protect my leader de..

every single dae.. u will jus c her doin thingy so slowly tat u feel like choppin off her hands.. n u c n hear e way she tok.. u will jus feel like slappin her stinky mouth.. n u c e way she pretend doing thingy.. in other words, *k-eng*(hokkien).. u jus feel like ... argh~ she's e one alwaz pretendin tis pretendin tat.. yet.. my manager nv sae anythingy.. n summore sae i'm e one pretendin.. wat e hell!! when other pple rushing 4 shipment n e needs e profile projector (machine used 2 check cutters), she will alwaz fight 2 use it.. n when pple rushin 2 type e report, she will b typin her report, takin her own sweet time at e computer..

n when she finishes her stuff 4 shipment or e m'sia cutters dun hav 2 send 4 shipment, she will still continue 2 check her own cutters n will nv volunteer 2 help out wif e shipment.. n even when she rushin 4 shipment, when her fone rings, she will still pick up n takes at least 5 mins outside e rm tokin.. everytime is her bf.. everythingy oso her bf.. alwaz tell pple my bf tis my bf tat.. got bf big deal ar?? u hav, other pple oso hav ar.. wat's e big deal?? i dun c any.. y?? tong ren bu tong ming ar.. bcos of tat, i jus bcum pple's dai zui gao yang..

addicted

[ addicted ]

hmmm.. i hav been searchin 4 tis song 4 veri long.. hopin 2 change my blog music.. 4 frenz who mizz it.. yester e song i input is SHE's bu xiang zhang da.. but 2dae.. dunoe y.. i jus feel like findin e song tat can describe my feelin now.. hmmm.. tink less than 2 mths again.. i once told a fren who told mi tat he hope tat he can find his happiness soon.. then i oso dunoe y.. i feel tat he will meet his ms rite soon.. so i told him.. it's cumin soon liao le.. n tell him not 2 worry.. now.. guess wat.. he told him he got a gf le.. n hav been datin 4 almost 1 mth liao le.. realli feels veri happi 4 him.. heez..

though i haven meet mine.. but i noe.. he's near.. is jus tat e time isnt rite.. therefore i still dunoe.. mayb he's sum1 i noe alread.. lolx.. like fa hua chi like tat.. but havin sum1 u love bein there 4 all e time is realli a great thingy.. i'm sure i'll b filled wif happiness de.. WO SHI XING FU DE.. tat's wat i believe.. yester.. i'm on e fone wif one of my jie, catherine.. we tok realli a lot.. rangin from her bf 2 my ex.. i realli envy catherine n stephanie.. both of them realli fortunate hav such great bfs.. haiz.. sumtimes.. goin out wif them i oso feel paiseh.. cos i like light bulb like tat.. then will feel bein neglected like tat.. haiz.. they oso kept pushin mi.. ask mi find sum1 dating.. but this kinda thingy how can force de?? lolx.. am i rite?

i realli cant rmb how izzit like 2 fall 4 sum1 deeply.. how long did ur longest crush last?? mine was 4 yrs.. tat was durin my pri sch daes.. lolx.. on a veri nice guy.. he oso veri rich.. he's tat type veri gentlemen type.. less than 2 mths time.. i met him on e bus.. lolx.. tat was e 1st time i seen him after we graduated from pri. sch.. he still look e same.. so handsome.. mi n him quite fated.. after pri.2 we changed sch cos our sch demolished.. then we ended in e same class n e same class summore.. after streamin in pri.4 we went in2 diff class.. he veri clever so he went 2 best em2 class.. after then.. our frenship slowly turns pale.. but i still rmb him as my best bud.. after which 2nd crush last abt 3 yrs.. lolx.. so long.. i still rmb one of my fren's cousin has a crush on a ger 4 seven yrs.. wow.. tat's long.. longer than a relationship..

crush usuall last longer than a relationship.. my longest relationship onli last 1 yr plus.. yet my longest crush was 4 yrs.. tat was when i was veri naive lahz.. hahaz.. anw.. lovin sum1 is nv easy.. findin sum1 u love is nv easy too.. so couples out there.. mus cherish ur partner worz.. n nv take them 4 granted.. cos everythingy dun comes as u wan........


[ A d d i c t e d ] - simple plan

heard you're doing okay
But I want you to know
I'm a dick
I'm addicted to you
I can't pretend
I don't care
When you don't think about me
Do you think I deserve this?

I tried to make you happy but you left anyway

I'm trying to forget that
I'm addicted to you
But I want it and I need it
I'm addicted to you
Now it's over
Can't forget what you said
And I never wanna do this again
Heartbreaker Heartbreaker Heartbreaker

Since the day I met you
And after all we've been through
I'm still a dick
I'm addicted to you
I think you know that it's true
I'd run a thousand miles to get you
Do you think I deserve this?

I tried to make you happy
I did all that
I could
Just to keep you
But you left anyway

I'm trying to forget that
I'm addicted to you
But I want it and I need it
I'm addicted to you
Now it's over
Can't forget what you said
And I never wanna do this again
Heartbreaker Heartbreaker

How long will I be waiting?
Until the end of time
I don't know why I'm still waiting
I can't make you mine

I'm trying to forget that
I'm addicted to you
But I want it and I need it
I'm addicted to you
[x2]

Now it's over
Can't forget what you said
And I never wanna do this again
Heartbreaker

Heartbreaker
I'm addicted to you
Heartbreaker
I'm addicted to you
Heartbreaker
I'm addicted to you
Heartbreaker
I'm addicted to you
Heartbreaker

bu xiang zhang da

[ bu xiang zhang da ]

* i jus wanna faster let my boss noe tat i hav alread finished my basic german course.. cos i wanna go 2 germany now.. e faster e beta.. there's jus lotsa thingys i need 2 avoid.. there's a lotsa of thingys i need 2 hide.. i once mentioned tat my boss tok 2 mi.. hmmm.. did i??? he asked mi 2 endure.. he saes i'm a smart ger.. he noes tat i will tolerate.. n i tink i will.. but i realli need a rest badly.. realli.. veri veri tired...............

haiz.. wrote half way then went 4 dinner liao le.. end up.. guess wat.. i didnt c properly.. i didnt step on e board.. but instead.. in2 e board.. n guess wat.. my big toe e nail broken.. luckily.. it isnt e whole nail cum out.. veri painful now.. sobx sobx.. y so bad luck?? haiz.. *pain pain*.. wo de ma ya.. veri tired ar.. haiyo....

i now quote one of ikeda sensei's guidance.. " It is an illusion to think that we can find happiness by going to some other place, far away from our present reality. Our happiness is determined b our mindset. if we resolve that the place where we are right now is the perfect place to carrying out Buddhist practice, and if we challenge ourselves there, then that place will become the "Capital of Eternally Tranquil Light". It will shine as a bight citadel of happiness."

after reading this.. i realised i cant run away from thingys.. i shld accept who ever i am, where ever i'm now at, n what ever situation i'm in now.. by getting away n findin a new place 2 start afresh will makes mi equally like a coward.. i cant hide away form my probz forever.. this is my karma.. i will learn 2 accept.. livin in such a busi n big city.. pple tends 2 get tired easily.. all i long 4 is in tis planet i'm living.. there's sum1 who is willin 2 lend mi his shoulder n sum1 who can make mi be ruan ru.. i dun wan 2 let pple hav e tinking tat i'm a veri strong ger.. i'm a ger too.. i oso wanna feel ruan ru.. i dun wan 2 alwaz 2 pretend 2 b strong.. i'm sick of bein strong.. wo ye yao ruan ru..

wo bu xiang wo bu xiang bu xiang zhang da......................................................