[ irresponsible ]

irresponsible

i dont know why things i hear or see will easily get on to my nerves and makes me really agitated over it.. just get to hear that one of my friend quarrelled with her girlfriend.. and another friend has some misunderstanding with her boyfriend.. and MAIN REASON was another 3rd PARTY!! my goodness! how can you not be agitated when you hear these? and really pity those who suffers are girls..

guys.. let me analyse this from a girl's point of view.. when your girl get to know about you being close with another girl, first reaction is usually that they will keep it to themselves first.. BUT..... that doesnt mean that they are not JEALOUS over it!! it's just that JEALOUSY is a in-plosive kind of reaction.. it takes time for them to explose.. BUT.. never TEST it!! cause you wont know that they will explose anytime without giving signal..

BUT somehow, in the two cases mentioned above.. the guys have tested their girl's tolerance and patience level.. yes, you can try making them jealous and let them feel your importance.. BUT, never overdo it.. cause you wont know that you will be the ONE SUFFERING in the END..

be it whether your relationship happened to have a 3rd party or not.. i feel that it's a responsiblity concern thing.. know your limits of being close to a girl if you have a girlfriend already.. so what you just treat her only as a good friend.. you wont know that FEELINGS will DEVELOP even in cases that you think that it's IMPOSSIBLE.. well, nothing in your life is IMPOSSIBLE.. split up the word ... it's spell I'M POSSIBLE!!!!! get the word?

why makes things so COMPLEX when love is actually a SIMPLE thing if both parties are responsible?? it takes two hands to clap.. so, it also means it will takes 2 person to make the relationship get going.. if you really cherish the other party, never take the bet of trying to make another party jealous.. YOU WILL SUFFER!

just one word of advice.. NEVER PLAY WITH FIRE.. you wont know when you will be burned to death.. and... NEVER EVER BECOME A 3RD PARTY.. heard of CAUSE and EFFECT ma? dont wish to be bear the consequences? then dont cause it to happen.....

hais! cherish one another's presence.. dont ever take things for granted!!

[ random me..... ]

random me

i dont know what i should blog.. or maybe how i should i get my blog going.. maybe it's because there's too many things happening.. i dont know what should i say and what i should not say.. when you do something, people will comment.. when you dont do something, people will still comment.. when you did something you feel it's right, people will comment.. when you did something wrong, people will also comment.. then can you tell me, should i do or should not i do?

doesnt i have the basic human rights of doing things i love without your comments? why must people be so CONCERN about my problems?? and give comments not to me personally but to others? cant i have the choice to do things i like? cant i make friends and be close to them cause i'm just feel comfortable with them? why must i bother how people feel when they bother about how i feel? do you know how HURTING it can be when people gives comments about you behind your back? i'm being nice therefore i say give comments.. if you put it in a bad way, that's gossiping.. so what if you have a sense of concern inside? i dont give a damn!....

hais! complain complain complain.... i jus realised i kept complaining recently.. and receive complains from people too.. why cant all these SHIT come to an end? i just feel like breaking down already! and who can i turn to? i dare not turn to YOU.. you should know who you are if you're reading my entry...

i dont want you to feel that i'm a burden to you.. but when i dont pour out, i just feel that i'm feeling really very 痛苦 inside.. sorry if i have taken up lots of your time and make you really busy because of this extra committment.. i know you really have no time of your own.. and really tired cause you have to work, to study, still got school activites, your family, your friends and me.. this must have tired you a lot.. i'm SORRY.. maybe you're right! i should learn to be more INDEPENDENT.. and not to depend on you solemnly.. i always have the thinking that.. with you around, i can have lesser troubles, lesser problems.. and a chance not to be always be acting so strong and courageous in front of everyone.. 我也有软弱的一面.. why must people always have the perception that i'm a strong girl? can i dont be one?

wo heng lei... i dont know how should i carry on? can i stop crying myself to sleep?

i just need a break.. and hopes deeply that i'm a mute, deaf and blind now.. so that i can be isolated away from this world...

i'm just being random.. dont bother to bother.. i just need to vent out this STRESS! hais!

[ spring cleaning ]

spring cleaning

it's SATURDAY again!! yes!! but sound... it will be sunday and back to monday again.. hais! ren sheng zhen bei ai ar!! yes! i got my dream fulfilled finally le..

i slept till 12.30pm today actually.. was on the phone with my friend yesterday night till 12am plus.. happy chatting on some stuffs.. and worrying about some stuff too.. well.. hope is going to be over soon..

woke up at 12.30pm and have my brunch (breakfast and lunch) with didi.. actually i intend to sleep till maybe 2pm? hahaz! but my brother woke up and ask me what i want to eat.. so i woke up, brush my teeth and did my morning prayers before i have my food.. while eating, we watched a cartoon show " bleach".. hmmm.. not a bad show.. ultimately.. i have no intention to watch it de.. i have no choice cause he's watching.. so i just have to watch lohz..

at 1pm.. we watched the show "fang yang de xing xing".. then about 2pm.. i decided to spring clean my room.. and dump things that i dont want.. i just cant stand the untidiness in my room.. ultimately.. i'm a NEAT person.. it's just that recently, i got the time to do it.. so i just spend it wisely to spring clean my room so that i have a better environment to study and revise my work.. it's always nice to be stuck in my own cosy room when it's neat.. heez!

i spent about 2hours cleaning, packing my stuff.. finally!! it's NEAT again! after which.. i had my shower and decided to rest awhile on the sofa.. then.. mom complained that she's hungry and ask me to go buy dinner.. while buying things, tom called.. he's on his way out to celebrate kenneth's birthday.. so BORED! i cant imagine that it's a saturday.. and i'm at HOME! even mom is surprise that i'm at home.. cause it's a weekend.. she thought that i would be out with tom.. so irony! when i'm out, she will complain that i'm always going out.. and when i'm not out with tom, she will keep asking why i didnt go out with him..

aiyoyoz! well.. tomorrow.. i'll be going out with nadiah and farhan to study and revise our work.. 7more weeks to exams.. time waits for no man! my aim for this term is to score a 4point for my gpa!! praying hard.. and trying my best to cope with my studies, my gakkai activities, my family and of cause to spend time with my dearest boyfriend!! ultimately.. he's the one who is more busy.. so.. many a times.. i just have to compromise with his timing.. and many cases.. it will be ended up stucking at his house.. he's dating his bed.. and i dated his computer instead.. well.. shall not talk about it.. if not, it will sound as though i'm complaining liao..

i'm going to study le.. all the best for those who's having their o'level and a'level!! jiayou le friends! GAMBATTE ne!!!!!!! =]

[ is everything okie? ]

is everything okie?

life isnt always as smooth as we think.. it's been one week since i started school.. well.. the time-table is quite terrible in some ways..

mon - 8.00am to 5.00pm
tues - 8.00am to 5.00pm
wed - 10.00am to 5.30pm
thurs - 8.00am to 5.00pm
fri - 8.00am to 12.00pm

for wednesday wise.. dont be too happy when you see that school starts at 10am.. this will be the first week thing only.. my CA just mentioned today that she has booked the lab next wednesday morning to conduct CN (Clinical Nursing) practical extra lesson for us.. oh! that's so WELL-PLANNED!! hais! and on friday.. an early dismissal from school means there will be a high chance that you will be INFORMED to stay back from extra lesson.. see the word?? it's INFORMED not ASKED worz.. see the difference people!! hais.. wat to do?!? ultimately, nursing was my choice of study.. nobody forces me to take up nursing actually..

been quite busy recently over meetings.. and gatherings.. monday.. there was a prayer session but i didnt attend as i have a yep family gathering in school! then tuesday was a holiday for all ite as the ite won an international recognised award.. i would hope that it will be a day i can stay home and sleep till i wake up naturally.. but ultimately, there wasnt such a chance!! we have a yep family hari raya gathering.. we actually went to khairul's, zaki's and jamal's place.. and then after which.. the 8 of us (shaun, yeowchong, wuihou, guosheng, tom, miaozhen, carolyn and me) actually went to cenileisure for a k-session!! ya.. i was really sick.. having sore throat and coughing badly..

but... i jus want to GO!! hahaz! the session lasted for 3hours but i was COMMANDED home.. so no choice but to leave early.. well, expectedly, my VOICE got WORSE!! wed.. i meet up with xueyun IMMEDIATELY after school for dinner at bukit panjang plaza before we actually attend the leaders' study meeting at senja.. we had long john silver.. YES! i know it's FASTFOOD.. and my VOICE got really BAD till xueyun cant really HEAR what i SAY.. hais! serve me right lahz! it was raining and i'm really feeling very sleeply through the whole meeting.. i feel that nothing has really gone into my mind.. hais! sound so pointless attending the meeting..

thursday.. i'm supposed to have a planning meeting at uncle hua thong's place.. BUT.. i didnt go!! wasnt feeling that well.. and my throat hurts!! tom actually forbided me from talking.. you cant even stay by my side 24hours/7days.. how will you know if i got talk?? hahaz! i went home early hoping to get into bed early.. but.. eneded up, i spent hours at the computer.. then on tv programmes.. then on food.. end up i got no choice but to only go to bed at 10pm.. i'm really full and feel bloated because of the heavy dinner i took..

it's friday today.. slept slightly better today.. but.... i just feel it isnt sufficient enough to get back the amount of sleep i lost.. never mind.. tomorrow is SATURDAY!! and i'm going to use it wisely.. to do my revision, my homework and to sleep!! yes!! and it's grandpa's cataracts operation today.. hoping everything will be okie!~

life isnt as smooth.. REALLY!! ups and downs.. happy and sad.. fear and angry.. everything is making me feeling suffocated... and feels so not simple as before.. someone.. enlighten me please!!

[ wo deng ni ]

我等你

不做考虑也没半点犹豫
我就说了这一句我等你
你眼中闪过了一些压抑
更多的是怀疑
所以你可以离去
不相信你还会回心转意
是我任性才决定要等你
我眼中的泪没掉过一滴
只是随你背影
慢慢倒流进心里
我等你
半年为期
逾期就狠狠把你
忘记不止是伤心的还包括一切甜蜜
要等你
要证明自己我可以纵容你在心底
也可以当你只是路过的人
而已慢慢倒流进心里底
哦~~~~~~~
你应该已经和她公开在一起

just a nice song to share.. it's by guang liang.....

[ coughing my way out.... ]

coughing my way out....

well.. it's the 6th day since i came back from yunnan le.. well, life still go on as usual.. and on monday, i'm starting a new term again!! oh man!! today.. i woke up quite early actually.. around 10plus.. i was awaken already.. why?? cause i have to meet priscilla and meihui at admiralty.. so i woke up to chant and get myself wash up.. after doing all the neccessary stuffs.. as usual lohz.. and that's to on my computer.. check my email and stuff..

it's really boring through out this whole week.. hasnt been talking with tom on e phone for quite some time le.. everytime talk half way.. he will say he will call back later.. but ended up, he wont lahz.. he's busy working and i'm busy sleeping.. everything i practically do nothing much except to sleep if i got the time to.. till i got a new nick from guosheng.. drowsy queen.. well.. no choice also.. i wasnt feeling that well since i'm back from yunnan.. still coughing and sneezing.. but luckily, the insect bites are recovering.. it really makes me so UGLY when i'm on the return trip back to singapore.. i just look so UGLY in the pictures..

misses the time in yunnan.. though there's some unhappy moments that has really shattern my heart at times, but everything is worthwhile with the memories i have brought back with me.. i realised i'm still coughing till today.. hasnt been taking my medication regularly.. and has been eating western food and kfc for the past few days.. well, my voice really s**cks now!! aiyoz!! so nan ting lohz!!

was thinking this few days what should be done in order to maintain and strengthing my relationship with him.. i also dont know what should be done actually.. the journey has been travelling for 1month and 8days.. and it's still going on.. he's someone who dont easily expresses his feelings and thoughts.. and i'm a person who thinks a lot about many things.. sometimes, to a certain extent, things that he dont take it seriously.. i'll take it seriously.. maybe that's the reason why my heart shatters much more often than others do?? maybe that's the reason why my tears flows much more often than others do??

i just a peaceful and simple life with you...... grant me this!!!!!