[ 不放心还是不甘心? ]

不放心还是不甘心?

on morning shift today.. went to work alone today again cause Ninie different shift from me.. reached the ward at about 6.20am and saw one of my bed in my cubicle is empty.. i had a BAD feeling.. yes, i guess correctly.. shall not elaborate what happened.. but, i didnt wish it was like that.. team 1 with SN Keng Li and SAN Halimah today.. but Halimah was asked to send patient to SGH.. so Letchumi came to take female side today..

fed my patient and bathe too! cause she's going to AMKCH for rehab today! like finally.. hopes she get well soon!! spent 45minutes sauna-ing with her in the shower room.. and changed her into her home clothes.. she really SLIM down a lot.. poor aunty.. and she commented that my mom must be very PRETTY.. so i asked her why she will think my mom is pretty.. then she said.. cause...... i am PRETTY!! hahaz! was a bit paiseh when i heard it! BUT, i was HAPPY!!! hahaz!^-^

feel so HAPPY that even how difficult my patients are or my patients' relatives are.. i can still managed to handle them myself and they would even praise me for the care i have given to the patients.. the SATISFACTION keeps me going.. i will LOVE this career more and more.. and deeper and deeper.... but i think i still get a bit EMO when i heard bad results coming out from patients' scan and stuff.. think i need to improve in the controlling my emotions part.. i have lost my loved ones.. so i know how it feels..

HUIWEN came to our ward today.. so HAPPY to see her.. nearer and nearer to her dreams.. feel so HAPPY for her.. hopes she do well in her final posting.. Rosaline suggested to go for k-session together! yupz! my favourite.. and longed to watch a movie!!!! finished work at 3pm today.. last day tomorrow.. think i'll be SUPER sad cause i dont know how my fate would be like in my medical posting.. HOPE it will be as good... headed home and boy is home.. he never work today.. was so tired.. bathe and slept till 6.30pm.. just TOO TIRED to work morning shift.. tomorrow's ah ma's 49th day.. and i cant attend cause i'm working tomorrow.. hais! i really miss her alot!! think mom too..

off to sleep.. morning shift tomorrow...miss NAD and SHIFFA lots!!!

[ i wish i am still a small kid... ]

i wish i am still a small kid...

on morning shift today.. I'm so TIRED! cause i was on afternoon shift yesterday,, i'm like ZOMBIE.. wake up 4.45 to shower and stuff.. left home around 5.30am.. once i board the bus, i DOZED off! just cannot TAKE it lahz! reached the hospital quite EARLY.. so i went to 7-eleven to grab some food.. HUNGRY and TIRED.. my last meal was like 5pm yesterday.. more than 12hours without intake of food.. bought ice milo and pau to eat.. you just CANT IMAGINE how horrible the pau is.. so HARD! till i think i can HIT someone's HEAD with it!! hahaz! ^-^ eat liao make my stomach really PAIN!!

early morning my bowel movement so STRONG liao.. in Team 1 today again with SN Cailian and SAN Halimah.. Team 1 always the most HEAVY.. cause lots of patients need to sponge and assist in shower.. had more patients need to shower than sponge today in my room! i almost go CRAZY i think.. spent more than 45minutes bathing one patient who had been lying on bed for 2weeks! and she kind of FUSSY lahz.. BUT, can understand, if it's me, 2week never bathe and wash my hair.. i would rather die!! lolx^-^

did oral feeding with teacher today.. and she commented on my HANDWASHING again! alamak! even Ms Doris also support her!! ya, i know the rationale behing handwashing.. BUT, different teachers really teaches handwashing differently.. i just dont understand why teacher cant be more FLEXIBLE.. ya.. no SIM trainings tomorrow and friday.. teacher see wrongly.. BLUR QUEEN lahz she..

went break and saw XIONG YUN!! just so HAPPY to see HER again! so FAST.. their posting finished liao and they are going to be registered nurses soon! so HAPPY for them! and to HUIWEN too!! miss her a lot!!!! miss the times we had break together!!!!!! finished work at 3pm today.. i'm like aching everywhere le.. this is the TIREDNESS you will get working as a NURSE.. but the SATISFACTION behind it is cannot be easily described by words! 是一种很大很大的成就感! not everyone can have this FEELING!

mom's HOME today but she didnt cook cause didi is out for work and dad's going to paternal grandma's house.. Aunty Ling called and told me reunion dinner will be this coming SUNDAY.. i dont really FEEL HAPPY! cause i just dont feel like going.. cause people will start asking my attachment, my studies and stuff.. and think my 3cousins are bringing their boyfriend and girlfriends for reunion to SHOW OFF again! this is WHAT i HATE the most.. everything new year also different person.. get the meaning CLEAR of REUNION PLEASE! ARGH! anyway, they are 外孙! dont bear the surname LOH.. so it's OKIE! dont need bother..

hmm.. i'm HUNGRY liao! off to buy DINNER and watch my SHOW! kinship!! ^-^ morning shift tomorrow!!

show off some pictures.. see the changes... hahaz!


this was ME when i was few months old i think!


when i start to WALK!


when i can sit on the chair without toppling down!


when my younger brother was born....


when i was in nursery.....


when i was in K1! the one at the right is ME! i think i was CUTE then! ^-^


and was me with my childhood qing mei zhu ma and bestie!

and was me when i was pri 2 i think! still as pretty?

i think i was CUTER and PRETTIER when i was young.. what you think? hahaz!! wishing i was still a small kid.. with NO WORRIES and living CAREFREELY.......

[ 其实你没有那么爱他..... ]

其实你没有那么爱他.....

on afternoon shift today again! VERY TIRED! and i'm still sneezing.. i kept forgetting that i have to finish the antibiotic.. so till now, i cant finish the full course of that medicine.. and seriously.. though i'm a nurse, i really HATE to eat medicine! hahaZ! what kind of NURSE is that! i'm HAPPY!! cause 2 of my patients are DISCHARGING TODAY!! feel happy for them cause they can be HOME! reach the hospital quite EARLY today.. 12.30pm and i'm already READY for work..

sent one of my patient, Ah fen jie down when she's discharged.. and she gave me her number.. and ask me to get in touch with her when i'm free.. and Ah fen jie's husband actually TEASED me again about his nephew and even his nephew in front of me and ask me to speak to him.. i'm like so PAISEH.. then, he gave me his number and ask for mine and my email.. well, it's GOOD to know another friend too! ^-^ NO HARM..

today as usual, will be in the team 1 with SN Cailian and SAN Halimah.. hais! sianz! had a new admit at around 6plus today.. BUT, i already finished my completancy for this skill, so give this chance for Ashiqa to do.. QUITE TIRED today! fed patient and stuff and one of my patient's relatives kept asking information about her mom's condition.. i understand how is it like to see your loved ones really ill and lying on this sick bed..

and did changing.. only managed to finish it at around 8.30.. time like pass so FAST today.. and saw one my patient's condition really like my decreased ah ma.. everytime i see her, i just get so EMOTIONAL.. i even dropped TEARS today.. hais! so fast.. this friday, it will be the 49th day ah ma left us.. and i cant be there for the ceremony.. cause it will be my LAST day in this ward and Ms Chow dont allow me to take leave for such reason.. if it's Ms Emily i think she will be KIND enough to understand.. hais! never mind.. i understand.. tomorrow, will be on morning shift! think i'll be like ZOMBIE tomorrow!

this is song below has helped to STRAIGHTEN my THOUGHTS! think i'm REALLY WALKING out of it! though i cried while listening to this song.. Title: 没那么爱他 by Fan Wei Qi...

你有权利情绪化
你不一定要坚强
便有些事情不能伪装
别为自己设了框
我懂失去的悲伤
也懂进退的挣扎
但想起过去都是失望
又何必要放不下
是习惯还是爱
不放心还是不甘心
只有你自己知道解答

其实你没有那么爱他
真的不需要那么想他
编织过的梦想
自己也可以抵达
谁说一定要有他
其实你没有那么爱他
没有深陷到不可自拔
认清了真心话你就放得下

我懂失去的悲伤
也懂进退的挣扎
但想起过去都是失望
又何必要放不下
是习惯还是爱
不放心还是不甘心
只有你自己知道解答

其实你没有那么爱他
真的不需要那么想他
编织过的梦想
自己也可以抵达
谁说一定要有他
其实你没有那么爱他
没有深陷到不可自拔
认清了真心话你就放得下

深呼吸抬头望
发现天空很宽广
这世界那么大
幸福总会在某个地方

其实你没有那么爱他
真的不需要那么想他
拥有过的计划
留给值得的对象
你知道不会是他
其实你没有那么爱他
没有深陷到不可自拔
认清了真心话你就放得下

[ happiness, are you there? ]

happiness, are you there?

on afternoon shift TODAY.. really TIRED till i was really reluantant to go to work.. BUT, come to think of it.. hmmm, my patients need me to be there for them.. if i were to take mc, no1, i must go do replacement on saturday and my cubicle will have no student to take care of the patients.. so, i went.. dragging my tired feet there.. meet Ninie at yishun interchange to take bus there..

today i'm in team 1! so HAPPY! worked with SN Cailian and SAN Halimah.. kind of hate working with Halimah... just find her a bit LAZY the previous round i work with her.. and she ATTITUDES! maybe because she senior.. from this, i learnt something, even i were to promoted to senior next time, i wont show attitudes.. this isnt a characteristic a nurse should have.. break was at 4pm today.. and i ate niang dou fu AGAIN! just dont know what to eat..

was QUITE busy after my break.. did parameters, change patient, turn patient, bring bedpan, drain urine.. it's a everyday routine lahz.. BUT, i just feel that my TIREDNESS are all gone when my patients thank me and praised me for being a nice nurse.. hahaz! i hope i can keep up to that.. one of my patient's nephew comes to visit her.. and i was TEASED! my face just *BLUSHS* so paiseh lohz.. my patient was trying to introduce me to the nephew.. alamak!!

and she asked me so many questions that make me so PAISEH! but it was NICE knowing his nephew.. somemore he just come to singapore to work not long ago.. and after her nephew left, my patient actually asked me how me and my ex boyfriend broke up.. well, it was a long story.. BUT, think i have started to get over it.. except that our picture is still in my wallet.. and Xueyun dajie saw it yesterday.. think she just feel like tearing it off.. lolx! dont worry lahz! i'll be OKIE! and i will GET OVER it!!

on afternoon shift tomorrow.. need to CHIONG my case-study le!!^-^

[ i cant imagine what we did TODAY! ]

i cant imagine what we did TODAY!

wake up SUPER EARLY i guess.. considering today as SUNDAY!... no choice lahz.. who call me so zhong qing yi.. want to help my hao jie mei.. so got to suffer some of my sleep for it lohz.. woke up at 9am.. and i'm like so UNWILLING to climb out of my bed.. i would wish there's COTSIDE to lock me from climbing out of it.. lolx! sound so STUPID! did my morning prayers and had my shower.. then slack around before i put on some lip gloss and marscara before i go out..

meeting Xueyun Dajie at City hall at 12.15.. and i BET she will be LATE.. as USUAL lahz.. yes! she was LATE! and late for 40mins! i think i can come out of my house at 12.15pm and can confirm reached before the time she reached.. also dont know she dragging what.. i just dont know why.. all my very good friends all have this "sydrome" of not being able to plan time well and always LATE even if you meet them at places super near their house.. hais! i'm kind of used to it since secondary school.. secondary 2 till now.. 6years liao.. SEASON and NUMB liao..

BUT.. i still think this BAD HABIT should be gotten rid of.. especially to Xueyun da jie and Xianyun.. alamak! headache! and ya! Xueyun now OWE me a MEAL and a STARBUCKS drink!! PLEASE REMEMBER!! hahaz!^-^ ya.. we headed to Conrad hotel then.. but before that.. we walked into Marina Koufu foodcourt.. and meet up with our employer of the day - Priscilla and Peter.. they kind of drag stuffs lahz.. supposed to start work at 1pm de.. end up only managed to start work at 2.30pm.. and it's like my first time stepping into a singapore's hotel's room!! hahaz!^-^ sound as though i'm a country bumpkin.. BUT.. ya what.. i'm a singaporean so there isnt any need to check into our own hotels! hahaz!

started cutting the wrapping paper and stuffs.. and started wrapping those STUPID merlions at about 3plus.. and POOR ME! think the paper too ROUGH liao.. till it pierced to my right thumb!! *OUCH* it really HURTS and it even bleeds! sobx!(T.T).. BUT, we TOLERANTED!! for our 50bucks sake!! hahaz! it took us FIVE HOURS to finish packing the 330 MERLIONS! think after today, i'll really HATE MERLIONS!! hahaz!^-^ the toilet in the hotel room is NICE! got bathtub somemore! how i wish i have a bathtub at home too! next time ba!! hahaz! when i get marry.. and i saw a weighing machine.. so i decided to weigh myself.. i kind of have a feeling i'm growing FATTER! hahaz! BUT, it isnt the case! i SLIM down TWO KILOGRAMS!! oh my GOD! *UNBELIEVABLE*!!! but i still HAPPY!!^-^

we are like SO HUNGRY.. only eat swiss roll since morning.. Xueyun dajie even WORSE.. never eat at all.. okie.. after taking the money.. we headed to Marina Square.. to EAT! and we had Swensens! i cant believe that Xueyun dajie never eat Swensens before! i had Salmon and mushroom baked rice and clam chower soup! as for Xueyun dajie, she had Beef baked rice and Cookie monster! and we shared the Fries!! *YUM YUM*!! super FULL sia! after that.. we went to shop around!! Xueyun dajie bought a bag and a cushion from Watsons.. and i bought to pouch, one for myself and one for mom..

after that, we took mrt home.. and Dajie accompanied me actually.. she took mrt with me and i dropped and yishun.. then she headed to cck to take bus home.. *TIRED* and really tired.. BUT, quite SATISFIED! i think since my attachment started, i'm really LAZY to stepped out of my house.. even if i have meeting. i'm also reluantant to go! think i'm growing more and more lazy!!

off to sleep.. afternoon shift tomorrow!^-^



Xueyun da jie and me! on the MRT!

[ 我怀念的.... ]

我怀念的....

woke up at 10.30 today.. REALLY very TIRED.. my will power wasnt STRONG enough.. i heard voices telling me that i should not go for the meeting and rest at home.. and another voice tell me i should go.. lolx! and i still decided to go.. had nasi lemak and ice milo as breakfast.. then sat down to watch tv.. then around 12.40, i left home to take mrt..

on the way there.. i saw the SN working at ttsh.. cant remember her name.. then saw Ann nee and Eric too! Ann nee was reminding of the CNY itesd gathering.. then headed to the mrt station.. took train too Boon Lay mrt.. on the way there.. actually wanted to close my eyes and sleep awhile.. BUT, cant sleep.. so took out my story book and read.. the "Think Big" till now i havent read finish.. lolx!

reached SCC and saw Francis.. he's on duty today.. and so BLUR of me.. Huiqian want to meet me at 3pm but i thought is 2pm.. hais! then i sha sha sit there till 3pm lohz.. sianz! then got to know Zhiwei's sister also, Shan Shan.. nice name.. and went up for the meeting at 4pm.. chanted for 30minutes and did our evening gongyo.. then started with the introduction of everyone..

i can say i learnt a lot today.. about homevisiting and calling members and stuff.. i just hope my will power can be stronger.. and be more convinced to do more for my members and the organisation.. i think i have been sleeping for too long.. and stagnant for too long.. guess it's time to wake up le.. lolx.. meeting supposed to end at 6 but it dragged till 6.45.. then i took 172 to CCK.. then passed away where Ah ma is staying now.. hope she rest in peace..

kind of miss her till i dropped tears secretly.. really MISS you a lot Ah ma.. Xueyun da jie called and she need help to wrap presents tomorrow.. i know she really help so i smsed Cliff and Aunty Helen to tell them i might not be able to go for the planning tomorrow.. feel so SORRY.. cause i was the one who cant make it on Monday cause i'm on afternoon shift and requested to change the planning to Sunday.. yet, i cant make it again tomorrow.. so SORRY especially to Cliff... so SORRY!

nice song by Stefanie Sun/ Title: 我怀念的

我问为什么
那女孩传简讯给我
而你为什么
不解释低着头沉默
我该相信你很爱我
不愿意敷衍我
还是明白你
已不想挽回什么

想问为什么
我不再是你的快乐
可是为什么
却苦笑说我都懂了
自尊常常将人拖着
把爱都走曲折
假装了解是怕
真相太赤裸裸
狼狈比失去难受

我怀念的是无话不说
我怀念的是一起作梦
我怀念的是争吵以后
还是想要爱你的冲动

我记得那年生日
也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空
最紧的右手
最暖的胸口
谁记得
谁忘了

想问为什么
我不再是你的快乐
可是为什么
却苦笑说我都懂了
自尊常常将人拖着
把爱都走曲折
假装了解是怕
真相太赤裸裸
狼狈比失去难受

我怀念的是无话不说
我怀念的是一起作梦
我怀念的是争吵以后
还是想要爱你的冲动

我记得那年生日
也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空
最紧的右手
最暖的胸口
谁记得
谁忘了

我怀念的是无言感动
我怀念的是绝对炽热
我怀念的是你很激动
求我原谅抱得我都痛

我记得你在背后
也记得我颤抖着
记得感觉汹涌
最美的烟火
最长的相拥
谁爱得太自由
谁过头太远了
谁要走我的心
谁忘了那就是承诺

谁自顾自地走
谁忘了看着我
谁让爱变沉重
谁忘了要给你温柔

我怀念的
我还有想要爱你的冲动
我记得那年生日
也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空最紧的右手
最暖的胸口

我放手
我让座
假洒脱
谁懂我多么不舍得

太爱了
所以我
没有哭
没有说

[ sometimes love just ain't enough... ]

sometimes love just ain't enough...

slept quite LATE yesterday.. was too EXCITED for my brother's enrolment into poly.. so waited him to come home and discuss with him.. has yet to make a decision but time is running short.. it determines his future.. should have start to search for courses he like before he got his results.. BUT, he simply dont want to listen to me.. want to do? hais! anyway, still must congrats him for his results! BUT, i was SADDENED by dad's CRUDE words to me.. i know didi has did you proud, and i didnt.. BUT, you should have say such haste words.. dont worry.. i wont need a single cent from you to complete my studies.. i will kao myself to finish my education..

woke up at 10am despite sleeping only at 1am this morning.. had my breakfast after my shower and morning prayers.. went to Yishun interchange to meet Suhaini to work.. very TIRED.. and my NOSE.. it's giving me problem again.. maybe because i didnt eat the flu medicine.. cant take it cause i have to work.. then only take the antibiotic..on afternoon shift today again.. working with SN Arlene and AN Gai.. today quite TIRED also.. got 2 patients on hourly parameters and 2 who need to be fed..

and got problemtic patients with problemtic relatives also.. hais! and saw one patient who sadden me alot.. she reminds me of my deceased grandma.. her condition just sadden me.. and the worse is that i cant do anything to make her feel better.. just pray that she can tide through it or at least not suffer.. and poor Gai.. was accuse by patient's relatives that she fed the patient orally for medication instead of through Ngt.. hais!

went home with Suhaini. took 851 today.. and while waiting for the bus, i saw AMALINA in another bus!! heez! just so GLAD to see her!! sobx.. and they are graduating soon! oh so sad! BUT, HAPPY for them too! cause they are so NEAR to their DREAMS! back to the bus issue.. it was like damn packed.. and saw a SUPER KPO indian aunty.. i not racist lahz.. BUT, she really VERY IRRITATING.. as though she own the bus! ta bulay tahan! and at amk.. saw a motorcyclist accident.. think it's a hit-and-run accident ba.. hopes the cyclist dont get hurt that badly.. just so dangerous to ride motor.. think i would prefer that my future husband can own a car ba! hahaz^-^

got a Zone youth leaders training tomorrow from 4-6pm at SCC Jurong.. but will be meeting Huiqian at 2pm for a small discussion.. and gd luck to our dearest FDs kids!! all the best for your "little prince" musical tomorrow! sorry Darren Er zi.. mommy cant be there to support you tomorrow! got meeting to attend! anyway, mommy miss you!! meet up soon yup!!^-^

talked to Stella online.. and got to know many things.. well, girl, i can only advice.. cant make the decision for you.. so what ever i say, dont get affected by my words and affect your decision.. what ever decision you make, i'll support you.. Shiffa came online and talked to me.. yup, kind of miss her and Nad.. it's like almost 2months since we last met.. hais! dont know how they doing in their attachment le.. jiayou le! meet up soon yupz!!

got stuck with this song now... title: Sometimes love just ain't enough by Stefanie Sun.. every single part of the lyrics touches my heart.....

i don't wanna lose you,
but i don't wanna use you
just to have somebody by my side.
and i don't wanna hate you,
i don't wanna take you,
but i don't wanna be the one to cry.
and that don't really matter to anyone anymore.
but like a fool i keep losing my place
and i keep seeing you walk through that door.

but there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know
it's your heart you can't trust.
there's a reason why people
don't stay where they are.
baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.

now, i could never change you,
i don't wanna blame you.
baby, you don't have to take the fall.
yes, i may have hurt you,
but i did not desert you.
maybe i just wanna have it all.

it makes a sound like thunder,
it makes me feel like rain.
and like a fool who will never see the truth,
i keep thinking something's gonna change.

but there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know
it's your heart you can't trust.
there's a reason why people
don't stay where they are.
baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.

and there's no way home,
when it's late at night and you're all alone.
are there things that you wanted to say?
do you feel me beside you in your bed,
there beside you, where i used to lay?

but there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know
it's your heart you can't trust.
there's a reason why people
don't stay where they are.
baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.
baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough......

[ 有人欢喜有人忧... ]

有人欢喜有人忧...

on afternoon shift AGAIN! first of all, must SHARE a GOOD NEWS! i managed to finish the project ALONE yesterday.. with my SNEEZING NOSE! hahaz! didnt know i can do it on my own.. well, it isnt that tough actually.. "when there's a will, there's a way"... i FINALLY understand what this phrase of words yesterday night.. slept quite EARLY yesterday.. around 10plus.. Dad's back from China.. and bought me a handbag! a PURPLE colour one.. thanks so much Dad! he bought mom the same handbag as mine and brother a EMPORIO ARMANI watch! kind of ENVY lahz.. nvm.. i shall get one when i have my money! heez^-^

had glutinous rice and ice milo as my breakfast today.. totally FORGOTTEN that i have to take the antibiotic before my meal.. and YES.. i went to consult a doctor yesterday after sneezing and coughing for so LONG.. BUT, totally forgotten about persistent headache problem! hais! =( nvm.. shall see doctor again regarding that problem.. didnt take my flu and cough medicine.. cause i just feel like sleeping if i were to eat it..

arrived at the ward quite early.. only 12.20.. and was asked by the SSN to arrange the work for my afternoon students on duty.. yes! i put myself back to team1! heez^-^ i still feel more comfortable working with female patients and feel more occupied in team1.. hahaz!^-^ was excused from work from 1-3pm.. had a long debrief today for our presentation.. my group did "patients' safety and fall risk assessment".. and because of that, Ms Chow signed out initial practice for fall risk assessment.. and all 16 of us BENEFITED! heez!^-^ one more skill done..

back to work at 3pm.. and everything is in a MESS! got 2patients back from operation today and got 3patients on hourly parameter.. and out of 3, 2 have low BP! it almost wanted my life.. cause have to do manually.. not that i not completant enough but because their pulse is WEAK! hais! was supposed to be on 2nd break.. but Shifiqah helped to cover my cubicle so i went for the 1st break.. luckily i went for the 1st break.. cause i got 3patients out of 6 need to be fed!!! i almost FAINTED!

and HIGH DEMANDING patients always in team1! got lots of changing and turning to do! was so scared when my patients' BP cannot be read.. and have to ask staff nurse to help.. i'm like running everywhere.. and my dearest teacher.. say want to do skill with me but then disappear.. hais! sianz! so i didnt get any skills done except for the given one which is the fall risk assessment.. almost coming to an end for surgical posting and i got quite a number of skills not even initial signed.. hais!=( how to score A like that?

ya.. and back to my brother.. o'level results RELEASE today! and he scored 19points! though NOT very good.. at least he's BETTER than me lahz.. can go poly.. at least he did my parents proud.. and congrats to my 3 cousins - Wanqi, Munting and Yonghwee's sister.. forget her name.. for doing quite well.. 4 of them including my brother.. 2 going poly, 2 going jc.. NOT BAD what.. think i must really work hard to get into poly.. and do really well!

tired today... will be on afternoon shift again tomorrow! then 2days break till next monday.. but i PACKED with my meetings.. alamak! just feel like resting.. i'm just pondering today.. when will i walk out of this? how long do i need? izzir because my will power is not strong enough that's why i'm still stuck in it? what about you? have you forgotten everything? have you already have someone in mind? hmmm, i going to take my medicine and off to sleep!^-^

[ 想不开是软弱的方式... ]

想不开是软弱的方式...

on morning shift today.. and i went to work ALONE today.. cause Suhaini back in school for training.. only got 4students per shift today.. and so LUCKY of me to be in team 1 AGAIN! and it's with Candy and Keng Li!! first time working with Keng Li and she did junior job today.. got a NEW AN who came to work only yesterday.. she just look so BLUR! more BLUR than us.. and didnt seems too keen to learn..

didnt do any assisted shower today.. only sponge patients.. whole morning.. was just busy giving NG feeding.. and i did twice.. cause first time.. Ms Chow assess and said i wasnt too good in it and wants me to try it again.. went break with Syuhadah today.. and ate niang dou fu.. couldnt really finish the food.. maybe because everything is just so TASTELESS to me.. yes! i'm still SNEEZING.. sobx! think my nose dropping out soon ba! lolx!

completed quite a number of skills today actually.. did NG feeding and aspiration, give ducuolax and had my 5rights of medication done.. and thanks to Ashiqa.. i administer oxygen through nasal prong today! so, a total of 4skills COMPLETED! so happy.. at least my log book dont look so BLANK! hahaz! so worried about my project.. got to submit and present tomorrow.. yet, i didnt do anything at all.. didnt have time plan well.. now, cant discuss with my group mates and have to do it on my own.. hais!

but thanks to Keng Li, i managed to get those information i wanted! thank you so much! LOVE YOU the most! hahaz! knocked off from work at 3pm and received an sms from Huiqian.. she told me Meisi's brother passed away yesterday.. hais! so sorry to hear about that.. think he also not that old.. so many closed friends' nex-of-kin passed away recently.. and it reminds me of my grandma and lihua jiejie.. really MISSES two of you a lot! hais! but ren shi bu neng fu sheng.. what to do.. just hope can be friends with lihua jiejie in the next lifetime and my ah ma can be my ah ma again!

saw Zaki's blog.. his production made for his ex girlfriend.. think if it's ME, i'll be very TOUCHED! it just so touching till i dropped my tears when i saw it.. maybe i too EMOTIC liao le.. BUT, really.. it would be the BIGGEST SURPRISE you would ever get if someone you love proposed to you on your anniversary.. so TOUCHING! just hope what he's waiting for will come true.. jiayou le Zaki didi!!! ^-^

read Seeleng jie's blog today.. she's consistently encouraging me.. and i think i disappointed her.. cause i dont seems to be letting go.. hais! i dont want it too lahz.. as what i say.. it takes time to heal the wound.. and i knowing i am healinh.. thanks jie! i know you LOVE me.. and i LOVE you too!^-^

off to do project!^-^ will be on afternoon shift tomorrow!=]

[ i dont want to disappear from your memories... ]

i dont want to disappear from your memories....

back to school for SIM training.. get to wake up at 5.15am instead of the usual 4.40am.. 35minutes of sleep can mean a LOT!! hahaz!^-^ had my shower and morning prayers.. then off i went.. took 969 to tampines.. and i STOOD all the way to Tampines.. hais! just cant expect that there's still so many people dispute that i'm quite EARLY already.. realised that i saw many NEW faces of students wearing nursing uniform.. think they are the jan'08 intake ba.. can tell from their looks.. NERD NERD de.. lolx! sound VERY BAD..

reached school quite EARLY.. only 7.15am only.. then sat at the bus31 bus stop to wait for Ashiqa and Sabarina.. was kind of stoning there.. and i saw Wui hou ge ge!! he look so SLEEPY! got parents drive him to school.. so GOOD lohz.. in my whole education life i think i wont have the chance to have parents sending me to school by car.. and was reading I-weekly and eating the chocolate pancake my SWEET brother bought for me! thanks so much! though everything eat now is like so TASTELESS! hais!

SIM training starts at 8.30am.. and was quite FUN.. the teachers tried cracking jokes so that we arent that tensed up.. didnt get to do any role-play today.. maybe it's good lahz.. it's like so COLD in the classroom and i'm like SNEEZING non-stop.. so i think i would need to REST more and TALK less! but i think we did something i think will do our lecturer PROUD.. Mdm Shamyamala find me and Sabarina's way of writing the reflective journal quite GOOD and took it to photocopy as reference.. heez! so HAPPY that i didnt do anything that bring shame to the group..

kind of miss the ward though only one day never go to work.. and MISSES HUIWEN! dont know how is she at her ot posting le.. hopes everything goes FINE for her.. headed home after SIM training and went to da-bao my dinner.. am alone at home.. just so TIRED to do anything.. is watching "Kinship 2" and thought of HIM suddenly.. i cant deny that i'm still SAD over it and cant get HIM off my mind even though i wish i can.. it takes a few minutes to fall in love BUT it would take a lifetime to forget someone.. dont know how is he already.. and dont know how is he coping with his school work.. he's like graduating soon.. and i think i wont get to see him anymore..

it's like a month plus since we last saw one another.. and i remember we didnt talk much then also.. hais! i just dont know why have things turned out like that.. maybe it's my FAULT ba.. think he's like so UPSET when he's with me.. even his friends also saw they want to see the old HIM again.. maybe i shouldnt have go for the trip.. maybe we shouldnt have been together.. it was my FAULT to have given you the chance......

off to sleep.. on morning shift tomorrow!=]


没有人可以因为没有了一个人而活不下去....

[ nothing is WORSE than NOW!!!!..... ]

nothing is WORSE than NOW!!!!.....

on morning shift today.. had a HARD time to WAKE up actually.. maybe because i was on flu medication ba.. took 851 with Suhaini.. very TIRED actually.. BUT, dont know.. didnt seems to be able to fall asleep on the bus.. very SAD since morning.. cause have been assigned to a different team le! sobx! wont be in the same team with Candy anymore.. but it's a new experience actually..

got to work with SN Pei Ru and AN Ria.. they are really NICE too! but, i dont really know my patients that well.. so i'm really WORRIED when i handled them.. be it providing toilet needs or hygiene needs.. will be in cubicle 3, team 2.. quite lucky.. only got 5patients, 1 bed empty.. 2 patients are independent.. BUT, who knows.... around 9plus.. isolation room which is just beside my cubicle, got 2 new cases.. and are clean cases.. so got to take care of the patients in the isolation room also..

the WORSE thing is.... they are male patients.. first one is a malaysian young man.. he's so FUNNY lahz.. i was doing the admistration for him.. got to ask him questions and do the parameters as well.. i was asking him questions and at the same time, he was asking me questions too.. like.. what i work here lahz, how old am i lahz. etc.. diaoz!^-^ but he's quite friendly lahz.. the other one.. i really had a hard time.. was asked by my SN to do hourly hypocount for him.. but he always struggle.. so i must be fast in my procedure yet not getting hurt..

tried inserting NGT for him.. but he struggled and got some bleeding in his nasal cavity.. end up, have to give up inserting the NGT.. hais! got a short briefing with Ms Chow today.. and got a lot of things to read up.. cause tomorrow, i'll be back in school for SIM training.. sianz! kind of HATE it lahz.. quite BORING.. and heard from Suhaini that Gerandine have quitted the course.. hais! what a waste! already almost 1year in the course le.. hais!

took mrt home today instead of bus.. had a craving for Pulut Mitam.. alighted at yishun mrt and went to Northpoint foodcourt to get the dessert.. and on the way there.. saw a patient's daughter.. headed home after buying the dessert.. BUT, the dessert taste TERRIBLE.. i dont know is it because i cant taste anything that's why it taste so terrible.. only ate 2mouth and i threw it away.. had honey water instead.. just feel so TERRIBLE.. cant smell anything, cant taste anything and i'm like sneezing like dont know what.. hais!

i need a good rest BADLY.. today is Huiwen's first day at OT.. dont know how's her posting le.. hope everything will be fine for her.. yup, i think it will.. been having abdominal pain since lunch time till now.. dont know why also.. maybe because i moved too much today.. will try sleeping early tonight! did a quiz from facebook today.. and they saw i will like to have gentlemen as my boyfriend.. lolx! anyway, i'm not thinking of having one now.. i still need some TIME.... SIM training tomorrow!^-^

love this song by Timbaland, Title: Apologise

I'm holding on your rope
Got me ten feet off the ground
And I'm hearing what you say
But I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down
But wait...
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around and say..

That it's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

I'd take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
(But that's nothing new)
Yeah yeah

I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue
And you say
Sorry like the Angel Heaven let me think was you,
But I'm afraid

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
Woahooo woah

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah yeah
I said it's too late to apologize, a yeah

I'm holding on your rope
Got me ten feet off the ground...

[ inconsolable...... ]

inconsolable........

woke up quite LATE today.. only around 12pm which is already noon time liao le.. cause sleep too late last night plus i was on medication.. so, was really TIRED because of the flu.. woke up and did my morning prayers.. then just slack on my sofa and watched tv.. was a bit hungry so went to buy my brunch.. had Nasi Lemak today.. i shouldnt have eat that.. BUT, just feel like eating though i'm like coughing and sneezing like dont know what..

while eating my nasi lemak.. just continue to watch tv.. think i'll just rest at home today.. have no intention to go out at all.. havent start writing my case study yet... going to die soon le.. cause tomorrow would be the deadline le.. i'm just TIRED to do anything.. and my cough is really killing me! what i always HATE the most is to be down with flu and cough at the same time.. cause the moment i start talking.. i'll cough till my face also turned RED.. HAIS! dislike this kind of feeling.. and i really dislike eating medicine.. the bitter taste.. *yucks*

just had a shower.. think it really makes me feel more REFRESH.. and ironed my school uniform.. hais! sianz! tomorrow will be on morning shift.. it's just so MESSY in the morning to work in this ward.. expecting that over the weekends, there will be patients discharged.. and will have new patients.. sianz! but i hope to work with Candy tomorrow in the same team again!^-^ still EXCITED to know that she's a soka member too!(o^.^o)

got a craving now for some desserts now! but... i'm just too LAZY to walk all the way out to yishun central to grab it.. if got delivery for it, then it would be GOOD! hahaz! day-dream sia.. think i must start writing for the case study le.. dont know why.. i just dont have the MOOD to do anything.. maybe because i'm SICK ba.. or maybe i'm just plain LAZY.. i just hope i can stay PASSIONATE about everything....

"sometimes wad we can do can be beyond our capabilities but that doesnt mean its the end. "
- encouragement from Pinwen.. must really thank him for that.. though he dont know what has happened to me, he seems to encourage me the correct way.. ya.. sometimes things just cant always be going the way we want it to be.. and it's really beyond our capabilities.. true enough.. it doesnt mean the end either.. i will walk out of this.. I WILL.....

got stuck with this song by Backstreet boys.. title: Inconsolable

I close the door
Like so many times, so many times before
Filmed like a scene on the cutting room floor
I wanna let you walk away tonight without a word

I try to sleep, yeah
But the clock is stuck on thoughts of you and me
A thousand more regrets unraveling
OOoh, if you were here right now,
I swear I'd tell you this

[Chorus:]
Baby I don't wanna waste another day
Keepin it inside, it's killing me
Cause all I ever wanted comes right down to you (to you)
I wish that I could find the words to say
Baby I would tell you,
every time you leave
I'm inconsolable

I climb the walls, yeah
I can see the edge,
But I can't take the fall, no
I've memorized the number
So why can't I make the call
Maybe cause I know you'll always be with me
In the possibility

[Chorus]
No, no, no
I don't wanna be like this
I just wanna let you know
That everything I hold in
Is everything I can't let go (oooh, can't let go)
Cause BABAYYYYY

[Chorus]
Don't you know it baby
I don't wanna waste another day
I wish that I could find the words to say
Baby I would tell you, every time you leave
I'm inconsolable
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Oooh, I'm inconsolable
Whoaa yeah
I'm inconsolable

life is so unpredictable...........

life is so unpredictable...........

woke up at 9am today.. today is SATURDAY but... i still have to go back to school.. hais! for a Red Cross meeting.. no choice lahz.. who call me to be a main comm member.. Sakinah wont be going back as she's having diarrhoea.. so like i'm like left with NO CHOICE but to be PRESENT cause my counter part isnt around.. was the FIRST one to reach.. i just realised that almost HALF of my friends have the HABIT of being LATE.. lolx! luckily not all are NURSES.. kekez!^-^

reached school.. and saw Jamal and Reezal!! Reezal's eyes are so SHARP! he see me from far and shouted to ask Jamal to turn around.. had a short talk with Jamal but didnt get a chance to talk to Reezal as he's practicing his percussion.. the meeting is quite simple.. with few seniors and 3 juniors we are going to be part of the committee.. so GOOD! they have graduated and have register with SNB for their nursing license le.. i still got 1year plus more to graduation.. i hope that day can come FASTER!! Ms Chow treat us Canadian pizza today.. it's been at least half a year since i last eat pizza.. the previous time was with Tom and Miaozhen at Tampines Mall's pizza hut.. Really misses that moment!!^-^ i guess i will start to be BUSY and be more INVOLVED in cca activities.. i just dont know if i can cope well..

been SNEEZING like dont know what today.. and thanks for being so concern Ms Chow.. think i'm like DYING soon! sneezing and coughing like dont know what.. headed home after the meeting.. and ate the flu medicine and off to sleep.. set the alarm clock at 6pm as i'll be meeting Xueyun and Willie to attend Ruixin's dad funeral wake.. met Willie at 7pm for dinner.. and as usual, Xueyun was LATE! had a simple meal for the coffeeshop nearby and i had chicken rice and limejuice treat from Willie.. everything seems so TASTELESS to ME! i just cant SMELL anything..

and that CUTE Willie... after so long never see me.. he asked me how was me.. and i just answered him.. "quite okie lohz.." then he said.. "but you sound so emo in your blog.." lolx.. i almost got CHOKED by my mouthful of rice.. ya.. cant deny anything since he read my blog liao.. i shall ADMIT.. i'm really very EMOTIC in my blog.. even Xueyun feel it too.. hais! what to do.. it takes TIME for WOUND to HEAL! had an hour of daimoku and gongyo.. i just cant believe that Aunty Jialing (Ruixin's mom) look so 憔悴.. i understand how it feel losing a loved one especially your life-long partner.. just hopes she will not grieve over it...

had a short chat with Xueyun and Willie at the wake.. and left home around 10.. it's just a 10minutes walk from Ruixin's place.. that's the advantage of staying near.. sent Xueyun to the mrt station and Willie walked me home.. really THANKFUL for that.. on the way back.. we chatted for quite some stuff.. dont worry lahz.. i will walk out of this soon! ^-^

got online and talk to Huiwen.. saw that she added Candy in her friendster.. so i also kpo kpo go add her also.. then i found out.. she's a SOKA member too! my goodness! cant believe that the SN i have been working for so many days since the first day is a SOKA member too! now i know the reason why she's so NICE! and i know she will continue to be so NICE! she will always say "Thank You" to me during worktime and after work!... i just feel so TOUCHED over it.. a small "Thank You" will simple MELT a day of TIRENESS.. think when i passed out, i will hope to be as NICE also.. hahas!^-^

still cant believe it.. i'm like so EXCITED over it! cause she's a SOKA member.. i have met patients who are soka member but havent work with SN or AN who are soka members yet.. first encounter! but.. i'm just so EXCITED.. think she will be SHOCKED if she knows i'm a soka member too!^-^ got to go sleep le.. i need more REST!

happy birthday Juaykai!!^-^

me and Huiwen! may our friendship lasts!^-^

do you know?... i doubt you do...

do you know?.... i doubt you do....

FINALLY.. it's FRIDAY!! on morning shift today.. woke up at 4plus and thought of Dad.. he will be away for 1week for a holiday with my ex boss.. so GOOD! how i wish i can go on a break too... DAY-DREAMING only! has! my NOSE got WORSE today! whole body feeling COLD and SNEEZING non-stop.. till i got no choice but to wear mask at work.. didnt have much sponging to do this morning.. cause the night shift did sponging for us liao.. so, only got assisted shower for few patients.. got 4juniors in my team today.. Ashiqa, Paramesh, Hui wen and me..

today is Huiwen and Xiong Yun's last day at this ward.. i will MISS you girls de!! hope to work with you girls in future.. my hand was scratched by one of my patients when doing changing.. it HURTS! hais! ah MAs got violence tendency...! went for break with Huiwen today.. and ate thai food.. it's just so SPICY.. but it CURE my BLOCKED nose problem!! after eating, took picture with SN Hanisah and Huiwen in the pantry room! they are just so SWEET!! got to know that i will be posted to New Horizon for my rehab posting.. it's at TAMPINES! dont know how the teacher arrange de.. should put me at AMK rehab centre mahz.. hais!

also GOOD lahz.. at least i wont think of Ah ma when i'm at New Horizon.. cause Ah ma once stayed at AMK rehab before.. QUITE TIRED today.. maybe because of my flu lahz.. completed one more skill today.. got to do admit patient today as the patient only knows how to speak mandarin so i'm asked to do it! that's LUCK ba.. hahaz! took 851 home today.. stood all the way home.. REALLY TIRED sia.. somemore got INCONSIDERATE people keep knocking and squeezing me when the space is already so limited.. IRRITATING sia!

will have to rest early tonight.. got to be back in school tomorrow morning for RCHN meeting.. i just hope i can get well SOON!! took a personality test jus now.. and that's my analysis....

My personality type: a Philosopher
to be or not to be? you are a philosopher, a thinker of deep thoughts. Your ability to see things from more than one perspective allows you to live a life rich in meaning. Bored by the mundane, you ask all the big questions and use your logical abilities to keep one step ahead of the world.

i feel that there's a knot in my heart.. and it doesnt seems to be undone.. 我真的那么软弱吗？为什么就是放不下？为什么？......

i feel as though there's a hard rock pressing on my heart. i can hardly breathe....

[ time will weaken a relationship... ]

time will weaken a relationship...

on morning today too... work started from 7am.. fed patient, then did assisted shower and sponging for patient.. also got patient with hourly parameter.. Teacher just like a bee buzzing around.. because of that.. i have to use BP set to do manual BP cause when she's around.. i cant use dinamap.. patient's BP was LOW.. and i got no choice but to do hourly parameter and everytime manually.. think if this goes on, my manual BP sure very PRO! lolx

got 3patients off drainage also.. and it reminds me of myself 3years back when i have the appendicitomy done.. i also have drainage bag.. it was just so PAINFUL when the doctor removed the drainage from my wound.. and covering the hole with only gauze to let it heal on its own.. i remember that year's Chinese New Year, i ate only veggies, fish and pork for months i think.. there's a lot of things i cant eat.. and i walk like a turtle.. and i cant run, cant walk too fast, cant bend down and stuff.. life was BAD then..

and with that operation done, my body gets WEAKER! cause after the operation, i didnt take in any 补品.. and that incident almost took away my life.. that was ONE of the reasons why i choose to take nursing and why i cherish my life so much.. back to track.. i had a really IRRATATING patient who is constipated today.. me and my friend wheeled her to the toilet 5times within 2hours time.. and each time she stays in about 15minutes.. which mean it's about 1hour plus of our time taken up because of her.. BUT, this isnt the way.. she ISNT the ONLY patient who has.. ALAMAK! headache! and because of her.. and think because the toilet is WARM and i stayed inside too long.. when i finished work, i was a bit HYPO!

i also dont know what went wrong with me.. keep feeling dizzy recently.. think i have some problem with my health already.. hais! like what mom says, i must learn to take care of my own health so as to take care of my patients.. reached home at about 4plus.. the weather is just so WARM! and the worse thing is, the bus i took was so PACKED! dont know what went wrong with this service bus 851.. always so PACKED! last time, it isnt like that de.. waited for mom to come home and got her to pack dinner for me..

my nose is dropping off SOON! because of the sneezing... i'm like dying soon sia.. and whole body just ACHES because of the persistent headache, terrible sore throat, and never ending sneezing! BUT, i will TOLERATE! cause tomorrow is FRIDAY liao.. dont want to take MC!! the most wear MASK during work time to avoid spreading of germs! i think i will give my zone leaders meeting a miss tomorrow.. i want to get MORE SLEEP and get WELL soon!!! Mrs Tay sms and tell me Rui Xin's dad passed away this morning.. HAIS! suddenly, just feel so SAD to hear that! hopes you get on your feet soon!!^-^

Many people will walk in and out of your life.

But only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.

To handle yourself, use your head;

To handle others, use your heart.

Friends
Anger is only one letter short of danger.

If someone betrays you once, it is his fault;

If he betrays you twice, it is your fault.
Great minds discuss ideas;

Average minds discuss events;

Small minds discuss people.

He, who loses money, loses much;

He, who loses a friend, loses much more;

He, who loses faith, loses all.
Beautiful young people are accidents of nature,

But beautiful old people are works of art.
Learn from the mistakes of others.

You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.

Friends, you and me...

You brought another friend...

And then there were 3...

We started our group...

Our circle of friends...

And like that circle...

There is no beginning or end...

Yesterday is history.

Tomorrow is mystery.

Today is a gift.

That is why it is called the present.

Show your friends how much you care...

happy birthday STEPHANIE (lee)!!

[ maybe you are RIGHT! ]

maybe you are RIGHT!

on morning shift today.. though i thought i will be like ZOMBIE today.. i DIDNT!!! hahaz! was quite energertic actually.. though i am still having headache.. hais! think i really need to find some time to go to the doctor le.. was on duty with SN Zhang Hui and NYP student nurse Xiong Yun..

was a eye opening day for me.. i saw how Xiong Yun did wound dressing today.. and today.. 1 of my patient is discharged.. so HAPPY that she can go home to REST! and so COINCIDENTALLY she's staying in yishun too.. hahaz!^-^ and the funniest thing is.. she also find me familiar.. she said she has seen me somewhere in yishun before in my uniform.. lolx! hopes you get well soon Aunty!^-^

and help me sent blanket to OT for my patient too.. the Aunty going for operation just look so SCARED.. i didnt know what to say too! just keep holding her hand and tell her not to worry.. think i have been running here and there too much till i was a bit HYPO when i knocked off from work..

mom's home today.. so i got to eat home cooked food! was having sore throat.. so i requested mom to cook mian xian soup for me.. NICE NICE! really NICE! 充满了爱的一餐! was watching "出路"..then the main actor and actress were stuck in a love triangle.. so i commented.. "为了就不可以拿得起放得下呢？" then mom commented.. "You can mehz?" hahaz! maybe you are RIGHT.. i dont think i can.. cause till now.. i'm still STRUGGLING to forget.. struggling to walk out of it...


i still love youuuuu.....


this baby CUTE right? e smile BRIGHTEN my days!^-^

[ 或许今天的一切都是我具有自取吧... ]

或许今天的一切都是我具有自取吧...

on afternoon again TODAY.. ya.. last afternoon shift of the week.. from tomorrow on, will be on morning shift.. QUITE TIRED today.. cause since last night, i've been sneezing like dont know what in my bedroom.. this cause me to have persistent headache and giddiness.. a bit HYPO.. just so WORRIED that when i am smelling aromatherapy i will vomit in front of the patients.. hais

work was quite occupied today.. but seriously, i really LOVE this course a lot.. and really cherish this chance to be in this chance.. i know i can lose YOU but i cant lose my passion in this course.. i know YOU are happier without me around.. 我太高估自己的能力了.. i know i am not ur HAPPINESS.. and i know you will find yours soon.. just hopes you are happy all day long..

did hypocount with my SAN today.. was helping her to do it.. we learned skin prick last term.. BUT, didnt have a chance to do it.. so, was GLAD that my SAN supervised me and i got a chance to practice my skill though it's not required to be done in this term attachment.. finished work at 9pm.. and this time.. i have learnt my lesson.. i took MRT home instead.. cause tomorrow will be on morning shift.. think i will be like ZOMBIE tomorrow!

going to sleep le..!

something funny to share.. BUT, i also feel that it's quite TRUE... "Men Are Hard To Please"

The problems with GUYS:

If you TREAT him nicely, he says you are IN LOVE with him;
If you Don't, he says u are PROUD.

If you DRESS Nicely, he says you are trying to LURE him;
If you Don't, he says you are from KAMPUNG.

If you ARGUE with him, he says you are STUBBORN;
If you keep QUIET, he says you have no BRAINS.

If you are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE;
If he's Smarter than you, he is GREAT.

If you don't Love him, he tries to POSSESS you;
If you Love him, he will try to LEAVE you. (very true huh?)

If you don't make love with him., he says you don't Love him;
If you do!! he says you are CHEAP.

If you tell him your PROBLEM, he says you are TROUBLESOME;
If you don't, he says that you don't TRUST him.

If you SCOLD him, you are like a NANNY to him;
If he SCOLDS you, it is because he CARES for you.

If you BREAK your PROMISE, you Cannot be TRUSTED;
If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.

If you SMOKE, you are BAD girl;
If he SMOKES, he is GENTLEMEN.!

If you do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK;
If he does WELL, it's BRAINS.

If you HURT him, you are CRUEL;
If he HURTS you, you are too SENSITIVE!!

& sooo hard to please!!!!!