[ if you are not the one..... ]

if you are not the one......

i seriously got insufficient amount of sleep last night.. i went to my bedroom at 10plus last night.. hoping to have a good sleep so as to feel refresh today.. then i only managed to go into my lala land at about 11plus.. and was awaken by a friend's phone call.. dont wish to mention who that person is.. BUT.. this call really come UNEXPECTEDLY!!!..

friend ask me if i am sleeping.. actually i am lahz.. but happened to wake up and read sms.. and i can sense something is wrong with friend.. therefore, i have chosen to lie to friend that i arent sleeping.. friend told me friend got some problem with friend's relationship.. and i told friend actually i knew it days ago.. i can sense that something is wrong.. BUT, didnt know things was that bad.. sometimes, 爱或不爱只在一线之隔.... nobody knows when the feeling will just go away..

it can be quite CRUEL.. to hear that someone who you love just tell you at the face that he/she dont love you anymore.. just simply because no feelings lohz or feelings arent the same anymore.. anyway, friend isnt the first person that i met is like that lahz.. people i have good impressions of will say such things too.. 我真的听不下去... 难道人与人之间的感情就那么经不起考验吗？though i advise friend to say it out friend's thoughts to be FAIR.. but in my heart, i really pity that victim.. putting the victim situation in my shoes, i think i wont be able to take it too!!.. BUT... i would hope my boyfriend will be trueful to me to tell me the truth.. cause i believe that if you try not to hurt someone, the hurt you will cause might be bigger than you think..

that was just part of the BIG thing.. friend continued to tell me that there an extra feeling toward somebody else.. hais! this is the 晴天霹雳 part! i felt as though lightning strikes! cant imagine that things are happening this way.. HAIS! what to do? i just a 旁观者... no rights to comment.. hais! talked with friend for almost 2hours till 3am.. then went back to sleep.. seriously couldnt sleep after hearing what friend said.. hais! and i even cried.. i think i am too worried about it.. and suddenly, i felt that i have been through such situation.. really very 难受! hais! why have things turned out this way ar? 天意弄人啊！

alarm clock rang at 5.20am and i woke up to get ready myself.. showered and did morning prayers.. then left home and took 969 to Tampines.. met Stella at 7.15am for breakfast.. had sausage mcmuffin with egg, hashbrown and ice milo.. my gastric is PROTESTING!! 胃好痛！hais.. i also dont know what happened and why am i that AFFECTED? maybe i'm just worried about friend ba..

talking about today.. am happy that i went back to SK with Stella for the Children's Day celebration.. we had games day!!:D really had lots of FUN! the children saying "thank you jie jie", "i like you, jie jie" and many many HUGS! i just feel so much better after that.. and that moment, i really forget about friend's problem.. the kids were CUTE! just plain CUTE!! :D saw Eveleign today.. she's so CUTE! give me kiss and hug me too! :D

whether is it the K1 i took in the morning or the Nursery kids i took in the afternoon, they just LOVE me!! hahaz! i am not being thick-skinned.. BUT, they really LOVE me.. i can hear "jie jie" resounding in my ears! hahaz! went home at about 4pm.. took 969 and i really KNOCKED OFF! just too too TOO TIRED! and reached home at about 5pm.. nap till dinner time then i wake up.. too TIRED liao.. already not sleeping enough and somemore play whole day with those energetic kids.. i just CANT deny that i am getting old......

the coaches there were cool.. actually i dont really like that Mr Aw lahz.. since the open house, i kind of dislike him.. BUT Mr Soon was cute!:D Stella, i know you will continue to tease me! :P am TIRED today.. friend's problem keep resounding in my head.. i really hope i can help friend and lighten his load on this problem..

friend, no matter what happened.. remember there's always listening ear for you here okie? like i said, i'll be here to support you no matter what decision you made.. just like what you told me, "shout my name and i'll be there"! jiayou le friend..i hope to see the cheerful you again! smile OKIE? :D

If you are not the one by Daniel Bedingfield

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't want to run away but I cant take it, I dont understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I dont know why youre so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in youre the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't want to run away but I cant take it, I dont understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
cause I love you, whether its wrong or right
And though I cant be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side

I don't want to run away but I cant take it, I dont understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that i


it really express how i feel..

[ 我的快乐会回来的..... ]

我的快乐会回来的.....

slept at 12plus yesterday.. was really ANGRY with Dad yesterday.. sometimes i just feel so UPSET and ANGRY seeing him... true enough.. if dont have him, i wont be here.. but i seriously dont see a need to be here.. so i dont need him.. all the misery, all the sufferings.. i know it's KARMA.. BUT.. WHY? why me? hais.. really AFFECTED.. see a reason why i always tell myself i dont need a MAN? it's because of Dad.. and i had enough of meeting with BASTARDS that have ruined my life...

woke up at 12pm today.. am having a terrible headache.. had my brunch after i did my morning prayers and took my shower.. plain slacking at home.. watching tv and stuff.. and keep rubbing ointment on my forehead and nose.. my HEADACHE isnt going away at ALL! what happened? hais.. am still thinking whether to attend the R.I.C.E project meeting or not.. cause i am really not feeling well.. hais.. but i am afraid if i dont go, i scare will affect their progression.. hais.. i am in a dilemna! =X

alright.. after thinking, i have decided to stay home and rest.. just hope that by tomorrow, i will be okie.. will be going back to SK tomorrow to help out for the Games Day.. and will be doing the calling again with Stella.. till date, we are at 75 people now.. going to take a rest:D

[忽然发现这一刻我不想你了..... ]

忽然发现这一刻我不想你了.....

slept at about 1am.. and woke up at about 12plus this morning.. am really TIRED.. Finally, the CFG performance is over.. and i am just left with one week holiday.. next week.. got many things to handle also.. SK thing, SMU R.I.C.E project meetings... tired... really feel like going on a holiday and enjoy myself..

was happily sleeping then dont know which person.. so early morning drilling while people is sleeping.. GOSH! awaken by Didi's phone call also.. then i woke up, showered and did my morning prayers.. then i went to cook my own brunch.. will be staying home today to rest.. want to do the calling for SK.. but am really having a bad headache and sneezing like mad.. hais! i am not feeling too much... and my back is aching.. dont know is sleep too much or never sleep enough..

Mr "F" saw me online and came talking to me and nudging me.. but i just ignored.. when can all these NONSENSE just STOP? i'm seriously not in a good mood.. dont come and provoke me! if not, i will be sorry if i lose my temper on you... just pop in 2 panadols and going to take a nap now.. and hopes the drilling can just stop..

i love this song.. a bit sad.. but it's NICE...

我的快乐

徘了徊了走了错了过了等了累了
全都困了烦的乱的等的
都是真的

疯的想的念的不安的焦虑的
复杂的梦过的拥有的失去的
怎么忘呢

你做过的伤放困了你爱的音
那天的我等着你等成了摆设

我的你的他的好的坏的难的
灰的蓝的黄的酸的甜的苦的
都还记得

非常想要忘的绝对不能忘的
我心要换你的真的不行那么
只得放了

环岛的火车载着我第几天了
忽然发现这一刻我不想你了

我的快乐会回来的
只要清楚曾爱得那么深刻
不准问值不值得

我的快乐会回来的
离开不是谁给了谁的选择

我的快乐会回来的
只要清楚曾爱得那么深刻
不准问值不值得

我的快乐会回来的
离开不是谁给了谁的选择

我的快乐会回来的
只要清楚曾爱得那么深刻
不准问值不值得

我的快乐会回来的
离开不是谁给了谁的选择

疯的想的念的不安的焦虑的
复杂的梦过的拥有的失去
的怎么忘呢

非常想要忘的绝对不能忘的
我心要换你的真的不行那么
只得放了

放了......
忘了......

tomorrow - will be going to SMU, 7pm for R.I.C.E project meeting..

[ it's YOU who made the SUCCESS POSSIBLE!.... ]

it's YOU who made the SUCCESS POSSIBLE!....

slept at 2am yesterday.. was talking to Cliff last night on msn while waiting for Daryl to call.. he's unsure of how to get to Senja Soka Centre.. so have to explain to him how to get there.. if not, he sure have problems finding his way there.. set my alarm clock to 10am this morning.. woke up and my whole body aching.. must be because yesterday was hopping around and dancing too much..

woke up, showered and did my morning prayers.. have laksa and ice tea as my breakfast today.. the weather is kind of good today.. though i feel it's a bit too warm liao le.. reached Senja at about 12.40pm then went to draw the keys for Sunrise room.. then went up to leve4 main hall.. Aunty Hiang Hua tied my hair for me.. hahaz! all the girls are saying i look YOUNGER!! :D hoho! i am YOUNG what...

am HAPPY today.. all the GIRLS enjoyed themselves to the MAX! and the CFG was a GREAT GREAT success!!! and thanks for all we came to support!! especially Daryl and his sister, Pearl!! :D they are my real victories!! =] have no idea if Wen ting, Wendy and Huimin came or not.. but am happy that we managed to hit our target for the cfg!! half a year's efforts has been paid off.. though i didnt really do much lahz..

headed home after the CFG ended.. am really TIRED!! i swear i will sleep in longer tomorrow.. somemore nobody will be home.. had Beef fried rice and rose syrup as my dinner today.. SUPER super TIRED and SUPER super hungry! did some changes to my blogskin again.. though this one i also not satisfied.. cause i dont know what happened to the template.. cant see some of my past entries.. HAIS! dont care liao.. can see recent posts can liao..

hmmm.. last year of today, it's actually my 5th day in Yunnan.. lolx! thank god CFG didnt happen yesterday.. if not, i'll missed out a lot manz.. looking through the photos, i really miss those moments in China.. waking up early to shower, sleeping late, facilitation nights in Ms Jill's room, seeing stars together at the rooftop!! so COOL manz! miss Dan shu a lot!! :D

am FRUSTRATED till i cried in front of the laptop.. it's my blog and yet i have to hold back my thoughts, my words.. why am i tolerating all this NONSENSE? WHY!? ARGHhhhhhhhhh.. BO WEI GONG lahz! silent can be the BEST choice now........



my girls! :D


the other half! =]


me and my godsis - Yue Chang! :D


that's me lahz! *peace* :P


HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIKE and YUE CHANG!! :D

i just want to say something...
i have my LIMITS and TEMPER too..
DONT EVER THINK of testing it..
YOU WILL REGRET!
*PEY CHEY* lahz!! #%&$@


P.S.Sorry Stella that i lost temper on you...

[ everything is in a MESS.... ]

everything is in a MESS....

slept at almost 2am this morning and woke up at 7.15am to get myself ready to head off to AH.. has been tasked by Ms Chow to meet Mdm Tan at AH today with Fazli.. have no idea what are we doing actually.. went out of my house at 8am.. thinking that it's like a bit early.. so i went to get myself a pack of milo and bought some food to munch on.. then i walked out to the bus-stop nearby..

upon reaching the bus-stop, i saw MANY people.. YES! MANY people waiting for the bus.. cause bus 855 broke down after turning out from the interchange.. and we waited for quite some time before the next bus came.. it was really PACKED but thank god i managed to get myself a seat.. then dont know from where start, i started seeing the sky outside turning greyish and soon.. it started to rain cats and dogs.. the bus is really COLD with my hair all wet actually.. cause i didnt dry my hair today, hoping to let it dry on its own.. reaching somewhere near Adam Road.. it started to JAM like nobody's business..

gosh! looking at my watch, it was then 9.15am already.. and i'm still a distance away from AH.. was pretty SLEEPY but i just dont have the mood to sleep anymore.. worrying that i wont be able to reach AH by 9.45am.. just 2 bus-stops away from AH, my needle on my watch strikes 9.45am sharp.. so i decided to ring up Mdm Tan.. she was kind too.. i told her that i am few bus-stops away and need some time cause it's jam.. she didnt scold me but ask me to take my time cause everywhere is flooding and the floor is slippery.. and that moment, my impression of her really changes.. she's not that unreasonable actually.. she was late too cause the house area is flooded and trees fallen on the road.. everywhere in singapore is raining and some places flooded.. Fazli was worse.. he called me at 9.40am telling that he just woke up! oh my TIAN! but thank god Mdm Tan was really understanding enough .. cause she knows that everywhere is jam and raining heavily..

managed to reach AH at the same time with Mdm Tan.. we had a short chat while waiting for Fazli to come.. she's NICE actually.. though she's a strict lecturer.. hmm.. i'm not really scared of her.. cause i know if i know my school rules and i follow it, i wont get any scolding from her actually.. it will be good if she's my CP lecturer.. but i guess the chances might be a bit low cause i just 6months to graduation.. Fazli reached at 10plus.. and headed for our usual plan.. a professional photographer was hired to take photos of us.. advertising for Standard Chartered's marathon in this coming december... LOLX.. this is my FIRST time being a model.. and i seriously have no idea where will the photos be appearing at..

today.. i finally understand how TIRING a model can be.. must meet the photographer's standard and must look natural.. oh my TIAN! one pose has to be done so MANY times! after the photo-taking, heard from the person in charge that in October, there will be a media interview.. oh my TIAN! i'm becoming famous over the night.. lolx! managed to get everything done at about 11plus.. and it was still raining quite heavily.. so Mdm Tan dropped us at the nearest bus-stop.. thank you so much! she's really nice..

took 855 back home and got my lunch.. then i came online.. hoping to do some updates for the SK thing.. and change my blogskin AGAIN.. seems like this one also got some problem.. i also dont know what's happening.. hope that Peiyi can help me solve it.. i just SUCKS at html.. then i went to sleep.. setting my alarm clock at 5.45pm.. but knows.. i set wrongly.!!!! i set it at 5.45am! and i oversleep till 6.15pm then i woke up.. really rushed like MAD! showered, did my evening prayers and went out.. bought my dinner and gobble it down while travelling to Senja..

then dropped at BBP and went to Popular, hoping to get the storybook "Totto-Chan" for Yue Chang as her birthday gift.. hahaz! thank god, there is.. and helped her buy dinner also.. Rehearsal started at about 8.30pm and ended at about 10pm sharp.. am EXCITED about the event cause i'll be seeing Daryl tomorrow.. am NERVOUS too.. just afraid things wont go the way i hope it will.. going to sleep soon le! my lala land, i'm coming.........

[ it seems like i OVER-ESTIMATED our ability... ]

it seems like i OVER-ESTIMATED our ability...

was awaken by Stella's sms this morning.. had set my alarm to 10am this morning when i went to bed at 12am.. well, i wanted to sleep in earlier BUT.. i guess my clock in my body has set a FIX time for me liao.. next week, i shall try to sleep more early and wake up earlier.. cause 2nd week of October, i'll be back in TTSH for one week.. oh ya, almost forgetten.. when i went to visit Grandaunt the other day.. heard that she's going home on the 7th of Oct!! feel so HAPPY for her.. after all the PT, OT, she can now sit up on her own with minimum assistance!! that's indeed a GREAT news right? :D

back to today.. Stella smsed to say that there's a Jay Gee Sales at Suntec City.. so, i woke up way before my alarm clock rings and went to get ready myself.. left home at about 10.30 and headed to City hall to wait for her.. then from Citylink, we walked towards Suntec City Convention Hall.. Woo! the whole area at City Hall just changed SO MUCH after the Ndp.. roadblocks, fencing everywhere.. at the Sale, saw many branded goodies.. Aldo bags, shoes, Adidas, Cartier watches, Levi's jeans etc... Stella got herself a pair of Levi's jeans and got her cousin a early birthday gift.. 2 t-shirts from Levi's too.. i got 怡怡 a top and a pants! it just look so CUTE! not from Levi's de.. cant remember the brand.. but it's a BRANDED one..

then after which, we headed to Marina Square and i got my brunch from Burger King.. then we took Mrt from City hall to Bedok.. LOLX.. today, Stella got an EYE-OPENING that i can GOBBLE my food down so QUICKLY.. no choice lahz.. i'm always rushing.. rushing for meetings and stuff.. i'm used to it liao ever since i took up Nursing.. actually, it's not a good thing cause you will grow FAT easily.. from Bedok, took bus28 to SK.. on the bus.. met with some EDUCATED BARBARIANs.. gosh! they are just so INCONSIDERATE! just by thinking of them makes my blood BOILS! =X

reached SK at about 2.30pm.. cool down awhile and talked to Mrs Tay.. then we started our calling.. everything you do wont be always smooth-sailing.. just like our calling today.. if it's smooth-sailing, we wont feel the SATISFACTION at the end of the day.. from 38people last night to 72 people today! almost DOUBLE! lolx! another EYE-OPENING for Stella today.. she heard how i tried convicting people like Jun Hao to come down and help.. and ask Weihan not give Wei min any choice to make.. lolx! i learnt all this through my PROFESSION.. getting in contact with patients and convicting them to eat medicine, convicting patients to eat well, rest well.. convicting patients' relatives on accepting patients' conditions.. convicting the Staffs through our efforts.. everyday's work is convicting.. lolx! i really appreciate Nursing a lot.. cause i really learnt a lot..

learnt to forgive and forget.. though to some extent, i am still a human, i still hold grudges and hatred.. learnt to thank, learnt to appreciate, learnt to cherish..... etc.... through the calling today, hear from Aloysius that Ariel left home for few days le.. really worried how is she doing now.. nowadays kids just cannot be controlled.. left SK at almost 7pm.. went to Bedok Interchange to meet 秀娟姐 to pass her 怡怡's clothes that i have got this morning.. then we had dinner together and she showed me videos she took for 怡怡.. i cant deny she's plain CUTE! her " 要, 不要" can really make us LAUGH like MAD! i shall visit her next year when i graduate..

back home.. and came online.. intend to check my mail and stuff.. Chong came to talk to me and ask me about ***'s girlfriend's blog tag thing.. well, i shall make a DECLARE here.. I DIDNT TAG HER though i know of her blog link and read her blog entries before.. if i were to, i SWEAR i will put my name on it.. i shall admit this, i know of your presence and know you know of mine.. and i know you are affected after reading my blog.. i wont blame you for that.. cause i have been through what you are going through.. it's not easy to accept someone who you didnt know exist in this same atmosphere of yours and appeared before you did.. it's not easy to maintain a relationship too.. and i know i have no comments to say anything about you and ***.. i know you know best what should to done to your own happiness.. that's just what i want to say.. and Chong, dont disappoint me by questioning me again.. maybe the ME last time might do such things.. but not NOW okie!

going to bed.. meeting Fazli and Mdm Tan at 9.45am at AH tomorrow.. and CFG last combined rehearsal tomorrow night! :D and one more thing.. THANK YOU STELLA for all your efforts today! it's you who made the FIGURE possible today!!! love you lots!! =] JIAYOU le!!!:D

i wanted that to be my blog title though i know today the FIGURE has made a DIFFERENCE and i shouldnt be saying this anymore.. but this words not only is talking about the SK incident.. but to my Red Cross side too.. in many ways of my life, i feel i over-estimated my own ability and those around's..... *REFLECTION*



LASTEST pictures of my LOVE - 怡怡


She's ONE year old NOW! :D


秀娟姐 and 怡怡 - they do look ALIKE!:D

[ sorry seems the HARDEST word.... ]

sorry seems the HARDEST word....

slept at 1plus today.. was kind of ANGRY.. cause i was waiting for someone to call.. BUT.. she didnt.. at least an sms will save my ANGER.. BUT.. she didnt.. till i sms her today morning and ask her if she returned home late night.. cause i was waiting for her to call while trying the rest of the SK alumnis... hais.. i'm really DISAPPOINTED that such things happened again.. i wish to mention who is it.. BUT, i hope she knows that we need her help..

we are just ONE MONTH away from the actual event.. and in this month, i got MANY MANY things in my hands.. i still have my CFG on till this saturday.. Red Cross got many events in October too.. and there's ITESD meeting, CIC training, Discussion meeting, Study meeting.. and i'm having one more week of attachment from 6th-10th Oct.. and starting my last sememster from 13th oct.. hais! see the reason why i am so STRESSFUL?

stayed home today.. and decided to change my blogskin.. hahaz! although simply but i like it.. wants things simply now.. chatted with Daniel online just now.. lolx.. he's from NPCC when he was secondary school.. didnt know NTSS so popular.. even he also know that NTSS NPCC is gold unit.. and one thing more that i found it so RIDICULOUS.. we had the same score for PSLE.. he also started from NA stress and promoted to Express when he was in secondary school.. gosh! so coincidental that i feel so scary about it! lolx.. Peijun Mdm came to talk to me online also.. she said Ruibao now is HO liao..wah! so long never see him... dont know how is he now..

one year liao.. seems like Yep family is going further and further from each other.. or is it just me alone? if me and *** arent together and dont end up like now, things wont be taking place this way ba.. hais.. i cant blame anybody too.. just FATE ba.. at home today, and Mom cooked dinner.. had Udon noodles for dinner today.. hais! my mom just cant stop thinking about Red Cross, about SK Grad Day event even though i'm watching my favourite show.. as for CFG, not so worried.. cause it's ending in 3days time.. and i still got help..

just saw Chern Fen's email.. got Zone Directors meeting on coming Monday again.. hais.. Sakinah, please come back earlier ba! i'm SERIOUSLY tearing apart.. was calling and sms-ing SK alumni just now again.. we need 107 people! and we are ONLY 38people now.. can you tell me how not to worry? sending emails, preparing meetings's information at this hour.. my back just aches! and my miagraine is calling for me again! my BRAIN CELLS are seriously DYING FAST...

will be meeting stella for lunch tomorrow and going to SK for meeting! :D hope the FIGURE can increase tomorrow.. *praying hard*

[ 我的世界没了你就不完美了...... ]

我的世界没了你就不完美了......

hmmm... slept at 1plus last night.. was quite EARLY liao.. cause i managed to finish the show yesteday liao.. and Mom also saying that i got dark eye rings liao.. so i went to have my beauty sleep last night much much early.. woke up by Mom today at 12pm.. if she's not home, i bet i can sleep till 1 or 2pm!! :D lolx..

went to have breakfast together with her and Didi.. then went to shop for some groceries.. and Mom got me 2 blouses!! :D pictures to show! :)


green top with white spagetti attached! :P


it's grey, black n white top. i just love e small pockets:D

then headed home.. came online after Didi left home for work.. GOD! i just dont know what luck i am down recently.. i got HARRASSED by a guy who added me on facebook!! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee.. so DISGUSTING lohz.. he said things like " you turned my sexual drive on" and stuff like that.. GOSH! he even dare ask me if i feel uncomfortable hearing this.. GOSH! who will feel comfortable hearing this? and please lahz.. i'm a NURSE.. BUT that doesnt mean i am OPEN-MINDED to words like that okie!!!!!!..

i should have delete him from my facebook long long ago.. and after hearing what said to me and despite me ignoring and not replying him.. i got him deleted from my facebook and block and deleted him from my msn.. so DISGUSTING lohz.. he even added me on msn! Eeeeeeeeeee.. i just dont know what's wrong with my luck recently.. i even told him i got boyfriend liao.. i know i am lying but i even try protecting myself from all these unnecessary nonsense liao.. BUT.. it just still happened.. thank god he didnt have my number manz! i just dont know what's wrong.. i'm always meeting this kind of guys recently! and PLEASE! he's from NTU lohz!! somemore people who got brain de, study uni somemore.. next time need to go NTU i must be careful liao.. better be careful for girls studying in NTU!!! EEeeeeeee... my goose bumps simply STANDS!! is that call SEXUAL HARRASSMENT? i just hope he dont know any of my friends.. GOSH! it just turned my day UPSIDE DOWN!

i know Ben Ben will definitely say i am a dramatic queen.. so drama the story.. aiyoyoz.. i also dont understand why.. i also never say anything or do anything.. how come people will behave like this? i SWEAR i didnt do anything to turn him on.. hmmm... Ben Ben going down to HQ for the F1 briefing.. see him must PUNCH him for me hor.. i mean Calvan lahz.. not that facebook guy.. must PUNCH him if you see him in NTU.. YUCK! going to get ready, will be visiting Grandaunt at the hosptital!!:D

love this song! :D title: 半情歌

花接受凋零
风接受追寻
心的伤还有一些不要紧
我接受你的决定

你将会被谁抱紧
唱什么歌哄他开心
我想着天空什么时候会放晴
地球不曾为谁停一停

你的明天有多快乐不是我的
我们的爱是唱一半的歌
时间把习惯换了伤口愈合
也撤销我再想你的资格

你的祝福一半甜的一半苦的
像我手中冷掉的可可
最最教人残念的总是未完成的
我只能唱着一半的歌

你将会被谁抱紧
唱什么歌哄他开心
我想着天空什么时候会放晴
地球不曾为谁停一停

你的明天有多快乐不是我的
我们的爱是唱一半的歌
时间把习惯换了伤口愈合
也撤销我再想你的资格

你的祝福一半甜的一半苦的
像我手中冷掉的可可
最最教人残念的总是未完成的
我只能唱着一半的歌

你的明天有多快乐不是我的
我们的爱是唱一半的歌
时间把习惯换了伤口愈合
也撤销我再想你的资格

你的祝福一半甜的一半苦的
像我手中冷掉的可可
最最教人残念的总是未完成的
我只能唱着一半的歌

你的明天有多快乐
不是我的我们的爱是唱一半的歌
时间把习惯换了伤口愈合
也撤销我再想你的资格

你的祝福一半甜的一半苦的
像我手中冷掉的可可
最最教人残念的总是未完成的
另一半的歌

P.S. please, this kind of thing, dont happen again!


HAPPY ANNIVERSARY YEP FAMILY!!! :D

[ if u see someone w/o a smile,give one of urs!!! ]

if you see someone without a smile,give one of yours!!!

slept at 2am this morning.. lolx! like i said.. was busy watching "命中注定我愛你".. was awaken by Stella's phone call.. lolx! she smsed me but didnt managed to wake me up... lolx.. so no choice must call.. she's lucky that i didnt off my phone to silent.. if not she can call till BAO i also wont wake up.. kekez.. after talking to her on the phone, i woke up and had a shower.. then did my morning prayers before i left home to meet her for lunch.. went to meet her at Yishun bus interchange..

then.. we headed to have our lunch at KFC... hmmm.. cause Northpoint really got nothing much to eat... had a great chat while eating at KFC.. after our makan, didnt know where should we go to.. so i suggested to go to my place.. hahaz.. she's the second person among my friends to come to my place!! :D then on our way there.. walked past an ass's place and saw his car under his block.. that ass! cheated so many girls!!! you will have retribution de!!!

went home and we watched 命中注定我愛你 together.. Stella, you will start to love it!! :D hahaz.. i just cant stop laughing and crying while watching the show.. Daniel sms me and ask for my msn address.. he really damn pro lohz.. got so many ccas and still can cope with his studies.. dont worry about time management lahz.. i'm sure you can do it de!! JIAYOU worz!! :D

sent Stella off to take bus at 4.30pm.. then i came home.. weather a bit warm so i went to buy ice tea.. then came and continue to watch the show.. sad sad sia.. almost forgetten that i talked to ben ben last night... hmmm.. thanks for comforting me.. i am okie lahz.. you know me too well.. i just need to grumble a bit then i'll be okie le.. thanks friend!! :D must thank another person, and that is Stella!! thanks a lot too!!! i think i am so FORTUNATE to have so many GREAT FRIENDS around!! :) loves loves!:D thanks for giving me one of yours when i need that smile!!!! =] mom told me something just now.. say i got SERIOUS DARK EYE RINGS!! lolx.. must be watch too much show then never sleep enough.. i shall faster finish the show and get some beauty sleep!! :D


HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEPHANIE and AH KEONG!!!!! :P

p.s. i finished the show already! :D

[ 命中注定我愛你.... ]

命中注定我愛你....

woke up at 12pm today.. Dad was like so kind.. gave me money to buy makan.. really RARE mahz!! once in a blue moon.. woke up, showered and switch on my computer.. kind of bored cause no one is at home.. hmmm.. hais! so i decided to search for the show "命中注定 我愛你" on youtube... just to excited to continue seeing what will happen to 纪纯希 and 陈欣怡.... really EXCITING..

spent hours and hours on the computer watching the show.. i CRIED.. i LAUGHED.. hais.. i just love to watch love stories.. cause everytime i watch love stories, i will dreamt that i will have such 感人 love stories too.. which girl wouldnt want their love stories to be like what is telecast on tv? which girl wont want their boyfriend to be caring, loving and romantic? this is NOT call NOT UNDERSTANDING enough.. it's just every girl's LITTLE WISH! guys out there, if you think being caring, being loving, being romantic, being sweeter to your girl is DEMANDING, is RIDICULOUS, then i think you wont deserve any love ba..

even how career-minded a girl is, even how intelligent a girl is, even she says she dont need a someone to be around, that's all BULL-SHIT lahz.. it's that another part that we girls need in order to make our lives more perfect and more meaningful! just giving in a little more wont take away your life.. on the other hand, you might realised that it's part of your life that you have to go through.. although i always believe i dont need a boyfriend in order to be happy, but...deep down in my heart, i really hope i have one.. lolx! so guys out there who has a girlfriend already, please make sure she will be 幸福! and girls out there, dont think that asking for a little more is being not understanding enough.. if he feels that you are not understanding enough, then i can only says that he might not be your "right" one ba.. jiayou to those girls out there, be it whether you are attached, or single, just remember, 要幸福喔!




i just feel that this represented what i want to say NOW!!! :P

[ going all out for humanitarian..... ]

going all out for humanitarian.........

slept at 1.30am this morning.. hahaz! was busy watching "命中注定我愛你" last night... really watched till i LAUGH like MAD and CRY like MAD!! woke up 5.30am this morning.. was so 不甘愿 to wake up actually.. cause i am so TIRED.. serve me right.. watch till so LATE.. lolx.. but no choice, must go.. if everyone will scream at me.. woke up, showered, prayered and left home with mom together.. cause Mom's going to Clementi to work.. and i'm going to meet the rest at Clementi..

met everyone at Clementi then took bus96 to NUS.. had a hard time finding the place.. gosh! NUS so BIG lohz.. really had a hard time finding the Yusof Ishak House.. walking up and down to find the place.. had a cup of ice milo as breakfast.. then went in for registration.. was really HAPPY to see yuhang again.. hahaz! the first thing he saw me, he said: " must take picture huh!!" lolx..

the workshop was a very ENRICHING one.. especially Dr. Patrick's talk.. kekez! if he's my lecturer, i will sure get straight A!! hahaz.. lunch was okie.. still got mooncakes to eat.. and i even tried their Ham and Cheese Toast bread.. really NICE!!! :D then went in with NUS main com to the dance studio to chit chat.. and we ate PEACH!! nice nice!! and not forgetting to take picture!! :D


me, Buvi and the NUS com!! :D


yuhang and me!! :)

made a new friend today.. He's Daniel, the NUS President.. like Yuhang.. he's a nice guy too!! hmmm.. i guess President this position has changes Yuhang a lot.. he became more out-spoken.. am HAPPY that RCHN has changes many people's life.. though i do feel tired at times, i am still trying my BEST to do whatever i can..

headed to RC House after the workshop finished.. hmmm.. after listening to Adeline and Chern Fen's presentation and explaination for the R.I.C.E project, i can feel the stress lohz.. hais!! i also dont know if we can make it..but.. one thing i can be sure.. is that.. i wont be doing sai kang again.. that's your responsibility not mine.. i am only tasked to take charge till you return back to singapore. after which, that's your problem liao.. cause you're the president, not me..

actually, i have signed up with Shirley to go for the camp.. BUT.. Stella protesting.. cause it's during my birthday.. and that i got a strong feeling that i will covering people's SHIT again.. well, i just hope to graduate FASTER!!! FASTER graduate!! i always welcome everyone with a smile doesnt mean i am truely happy.. i dont understand why must i be the one who always please everyone? can i just be simply leading the life i want and not pleasing anyone in any way? is there even someone who can spare a thought for me? and be concern about how i feel? hais.. i'm just being complainsome today..

after the meeting at RC House, called up Stella and waited for her to come.. hmmm.. met her near Carl Junior.. and saw someone i havent met for the past 10months.. OH MY TIAN!!!! i dont know if you have seen me.. BUT, i seriously equally dont wish to knock into you.. hope the other 2 didnt see me as well.. hais.. 我想过得好一点！让你看了就会嫉妒! although it sounds a bit CHILDISH, but i really hope to let you see the difference in me.. and also wish to see you living better day after day.. went shopping for Stephanie's birthday gift.. she will love it!! cause i love it so much!!! :D and had dinner with Stella at Ajisen Ramen.. had my favourite Cha Siew Ramen and california maki with a cup of ice lemon tea!! :D this meal took away my stress!! :)

then we headed to shop for clothes... month end liao.. a little broke.. so didnt get anything.. but Stella got herself a blouse and polo tea from "Net".. and we went to Mac to rest our feet!! had Hot Fudge sundae.. well, it just takes away my headache and simply cure my heartache:D well, i must thank Stella.. it seems like when i am down, you're always the one there for me! i just dont know how to thank you! anyway, please do not forget that in any ways, there's a listening ear for you too!!! :D love you lots sister!!!!!=]

[ get things starting.... ]

get things starting....

woke up early today despite sleeping at 1plus yesterday.. as usual, stayed up to watch "命中注定我爱你"... it's really a NICE show manz! really feel like renting the video and watch them all! i SWEAR if there isnt a need to go out, i'll stay home, rot and watch tv!! hahaz! took breakfast at home, showered and did my morning gongyo.. then slack awhile on my sofa.. then did my eveing gongyo and headed to Tampines..

on the bus.. saw a really FUNNY thing.. there's a quite pretty young girl boarded the bus.. then 3 guys sitting in front kept turning and look at her.. diaoz! somemore so OBVIOUS kind one.. and one guy even walked till in front of the girl and STARE at her.. diaoz! reached tampines and headed to singpost to mail the CFG invitaion cards to Wendy and Wen ting.. really hope that they will be able to attend the CFG.. and hoping that Daryl wont disappoint me as well..

then.. headed to SK.. waited for Stella to come and we started our discussion.. hmmm.. so fast.. SK Graduation Day cum 15th anniversary is coming so SOON le.. hmmm.. it seems like we have graduated for so long liao.. 不认老 also cannot liao le.. i'm just so STRESSED!! was grumbling to the teachers and Stella that i really got too many things in my hands that i need to complete.. too many DEADLINES to rush.. till i feel like i dont even have the spare time to take a breathe! can somebody save me??

after the meeting, took bus59 to Toa Poyah, and from there, i headed to DB to meet Buvi.. hais.. that BLUR Buvi.. really can make my blood boil sia! ask her meet at NEL line, she went to Red line.. end up, still change my mind and meet her at PS entrance.. went to Long John Silver for dinner.. then shop shop around.. was looking around for Stephanie (lam)'s birthday gift.. hmmm.. have decided to get something with Winnie the Pooh.. still remember last year we had a simple meet-up with her and Xueyun at CCK Lot 1 and i also introduced *** to them.. Sept is a very memorable month for me.. Lasy year, during this period, i was happily preparing for the Yunnan trip.. and happily in love.. but, this year, it was a really different thing..

我是肉做的，我也有感觉.. till now, i still can remember every single thing that has happened.. be it happy, be it sad, be it angry moments.. i didnt blame *** at all actually.. when i scold you, when i curse you, it's just that i want to show everyone that i have grown STRONG and that i can be HAPPY without you.. *** dont have to bother about my presence.. i just hope that *** can treat her better.. love her more...

went to SMU with Buvi for the R.I.C.E project interview.. hmmm.. it's a NICE place, but every where got security lock.. saw Ms Jay at DB when i'm going home.. i'm so GRATEFUL that Ms Jay has lighten my passion in my life again.. thanks for encouraging me and makes me feel better.. thank you so much! please do not worry.. i wont disappoint you.. i will be a good nurse.. i will! :)

will be going to NUS tomorrow morning for the NUS First Aid Awareness Workshop and to Red Cross House in the afternoon for meeting!! :D will see Yuhang tomorrow!! must take pics!! :)

[ 一天一天贴近你的心..... ]

一天一天贴近你的心.....

2nd day of HOLIDAY!... didnt sleep till that late in like yesterday.. woke up at 10am today.. didnt sleep last night either.. slept at 12am this morning but woke up so early.. actually 7am plus i am already awake liao.. body still aching a little.. and having a little bit of headache.. dont know is sleep too much yesterday or didnt sleep well.. BUT, my body is still recovering from all the aches i got because of BCLS.. it was a really STRESS period for me..

went with mom to the market today.. to get some groceries and to have our brunch.. nothing much happened today.. just plain rotting lohz.. and checking of emails and stuffs.. got many upcoming red cross events coming up.. tomorrow and saturday will be booked by red cross liao.. my whole saturday GONE liao.. morning will be attending the First Aid Awareness Workshop at NUS.. then is meeting with SMU at Red Cross House.. had a chat with Shirley today.. will be attending the blood donor recruiters camp in december.. GOSH! i'll be spending my birthday in the camp!!

had a chat with Mrs Tay too.. hais.. have to start to meet up for SK Graduation preparation le.. and still got CFG to prepare.. gosh! so many things in my mind.. i also dont know which one should i do first.. hais! CONFUSED and FRUSTRATED! i just got so many things to take care.. Ms Chow going overseas, Sakinah away also.. so many things under my hands.. still need to plan for Blood Drive liao.. hais.. wont get headache also a bit impossible.. Vin just smsed me just now.. saying that Mrs Tang called him to inform us that we wont be having lessons tomorrow! hahaz! it's DEFINITELY a GREAT piece of news.. dont need self-declare holiday liao.. it's OFFICALLY my HOLIDAY!!!! :D

though this holiday is shorter because i need to do replacement form 6th-10th oct for the JCI week.. BUT, i know i am going to make full use of it to not only get things on track, and not forgetting to enjoy!! :D i must be GRATEFUL... grateful that so many people are so concern for me.. people like Medy, Sin Ling, Ben Ben, Chee Cheng, Huiqian.. thanks so much people! i'll be okie de.. just need sometime.. hope to graduate faster.. to get out of the competitive class, to leave this messy RCHN and get my life right on track.. Dad was kind today.. he went downstairs for a walk and i told him i want to eat honeydew.. who knows.. this is what he did to the honeydew...


the SWEET cubes honeydew!!

dad mus be thinking that i am toothless.. chop the honeydew into cubes instead of slices.. lolx! make me and mom laugh like MAD!! anyway, the honeydew is really SWEET!! :D tomorrow, i'll be meeting Stella at SK at 4pm...and will also be meeting Buvi for dinner at PS and will be heading to SMU for the interview for R.I.C.E project..!! hope she will gets in! jiayou le! :D took a quiz at facebook.. "how much can i love a person..." i am >37degrees.. "you believe in loving with eyes closed and with a heart open, thus you r crazy unconditional lover..." and that's ME!!!! :D

love this song - 心愿便利贴

一天一天贴近你的心
你开心我关心

一点一滴我都能感应
你是我最美的相信

等不到双子座流星雨洒满天际
先点燃九支仙女棒代替

最灿烂不一定要许多钻石黄金
看你眼睛有幸福的倒影

把你的讨厌宅急便送到天边
平凡的傻事用了心变成经典
存满满的心愿便利贴贴成无限
就是我们最富有的宣言

把你的喜欢每一天复习两遍
惊喜的预言我的天通通应验
你和我的心愿便利贴贴心里面
收集感动给以后怀念

等不到双子座流星雨洒满天际
先点燃九支仙女棒代替

最灿烂不一定要许多钻石黄金
看你眼睛有幸福的倒影

把你的讨厌宅急便送到天边
平凡的傻事用了心变成经典
存满满的心愿便利贴贴成无限
就是我们最富有的宣言

把你的喜欢每一天复习两遍
惊喜的预言我的天通通应验
你和我的心愿便利贴贴心里面
收集感动给以后怀念

daladala......

把你的讨厌宅急便送到天边
平凡的傻事用了心变成经典
存满满的心愿便利贴贴成无限
就是我们最富有的宣言

把你的喜欢每一天复习两遍
惊喜的预言我的天通通应验
你和我的心愿便利贴贴心里面
收集感动给以后怀念

一天一天贴近你的心
一点一滴我都能感应
你是最美的相信


i want to destress!!!!!!

[ when you fell deep down... ]

when you fell deep down...

i welcomed a new day with my whole body aching.. one day of infant and adult choking, infant cpr have almost turned my whole immune system upside down.. well, i cant deny that i am getting older day by day.. and i am no longer than strong before.. no more intensive physical training that i used to had when i was in my secondary school days.. i just fall sick too easily recently.. still having miagraine though my flu has got away from me..

started off with my Mac breakfast as my first meal of the day.. been a long time since i last ate Mac breakfast.. but now, i learnt to be more obedient.. drank hot milo instead of cold milo.. lolx! :D BCLS.. one man cpr and 2-man cpr demo was quite okie.. but the hands-on part almost wanted my life.. compression was too shallow cause my wrist is aching.. and that i had hurt both my wrist before.. compression didnt have relaxation in between.. my graph just look terrible! after doing 4 rounds of practice, managed to make it better..

then was 2-man cpr practice.. screwed up the first one cause we didnt know the sequencing well enough.. but Shiffa and i managed to make it through the second one.. then was break for lunch.. had nasi lemak and ribena to build up more energy.. then was our theory test.. hais.. after discussing answers, i think i only get one mistake.. here comes the nightmare.. went in, did one round and it was HORRIBLE.. then Ms Juiliana gave me another choice and wanted to threw my first graph away.. BUT.. Mdm Le stepped in.. i knew i am dead.. she said 2nd try means 2 attempts liao.. which means my A will be gone..

hais! i cried!! cried like mad.. cried for more than an hour.. i just cant stop thinking that my gpa will drop!! hais.. i'm just too worried that i cant make it for my 2.2.. it's my last sememster le.. i dont wish anything bad to happened.. went in.. *gosh*.. this time round is Mdm Mages.. i must grateful to her i guess.. i managed to make it through.. by the time, i do with her my last attempt.. i'm already really TIRED.. and my back starting to ache.. my wrist and palm are already red and swollen liao..

Mdm Mages was right.. our class is too into our marks.. really competitive class.. but, cant be help too.. the working society outside look at your marks! it is not that we want to be competitive.. hais.. there goes my A.. i really dont wish to see my gpa dropping in my last sememster.. hais! i'm just so disappointed with myself.. what to do.. i guess i didnt pray hard enough.. hais.. although whether you are a good nurse or not doesnt depend on your grades, i really need that grades to make it through for my poly enrollment.. hais..

i just need to cool down and take a break..


read through her blog and saw her how much she have gone through with YOU.. only going to 3months only and YOU are already doing this to her.. meet her 2weeks once.. YOU never changed!! well, a leopard will never change its spots.. and as usual, dragging your friends down together during your date with her.. I am UPSET cause i just feel that YOU dont deserve any true love!! you dont deserve any love!! YOU just deserve to be living ALONE FOREVER!! although she might not be a good girl, BUT, i still feel that it's your PROBLEM and she dont have to gone through this with YOU! can YOU wake up your idea? can YOU stop hurting another person just like how you hurt me? HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU!!!! ARGHHHHHH!!!! i guess you wont be able to find someone who can tolerate your nonsense till the last minute and dare not even scold you? i cant believe she can scold YOU on her blog! i guess i didnt even have the courage to do this when i was with YOU.. i just only grumble behind your back.. BUT, i am glad.. after 9months plus le, i didnt regret even for one second that i have left YOU.. though our break-up wasnt a clear one, but i am grateful that YOU left me so that i can get out of the suffering.. i must thank YOU huh! GET LOST ba! and stop hurting her le..

[ first day of intensive training!!!! ]

first day of intensive training!!!!

started school at 8am today.. woke up at 5am today to get myself ready.. then reached school.. had my breakfast while waiting for my clinque to come.. reached BCLS room at 7.45am.. and started off with some general guidelines.. then our class is assigned to do infant choking and infant cpr today morning.. gosh! the infant really DIFFICULT to ventilate.. i almost turn breathless just by trying to ventilate the infant.. *gosh!*

break was from 12 plus to 1plus.. then was being tested for infant choking and infant cpr.. thank god the manikin i got was quite easy to ventilate.. if not, i'll be done.. i guess i have no problem remembering the sequence.. is just the compression and ventilation part i need to worry about..

joke of the day - Vin actually gave Douglas $10 to get him a strip of panadols.. this is the conversation

Vin: Douglas, help me get one strip of panadols.. i give $10, should be enough.
Douglas: Oh.. okie..

after buying the panadols..

Douglas: Vin, i got a bad news for you. $10 not enough, you have to pay me $8 more..
Vin: What?

Douglas then took out 1 box of panadols! gosh!! it's 150 tablets for one box.. actually, Vin just need 1 strip which is 10tablets!!! hahaz!

this became the joke of the day manz.. it really helps to lighten our tense feelings of the BCLS course.. after everyone finished with infant choking and infant cpr.. we learnt the adult choking.. from conscious to unconsicous.. then we did our test.. after which, we were dismissed.. *gosh*.. it's like 6plus liao.. really really very TIRED..

tomorrow, will be another LONGggggg day! One-man cpr.. although i am certified liao.. i still am not confident to pass the test tomorrow.. theory test shouldnt be a problem.. is the one man cpr only.. i will be praying hard!!! =X

[ EMO?! ]

EMO?!

kind of learnt a big lesson after Calvan's incident.. now then i realised that it doesnt mean you do volunteer work means that you will be kind at heart.. People do put on fake masks to hide their real self.. Just like what Mom said yesterday, "those who look decent might turns out to be wolves by nature.." and i guess i really MET one.. till i got nightmares for several night..

GOSH! i guess i really deserve it.. if not, i'll never learn my lesson.. i just trust people too easily.. i called that innocent and positive thinking of seeing each individual's good side.. BUT.. Mom called it NAIVE thinking.. well, that's just a thin margin.. lolx.. Guys out there, see this CLEARLY.. girls arent born to let you have fun, peace, laughter and joy de okie! so, think twice before you take action..

talking about reunion dinner for mooncake festival.. well, my family didnt really have any celebration or meet up for dinner.. Daryl's mom asked me to join them when i went to pass him the tickets yesterday.. but i turned him down, cause i went to meet mom.. like what aunty helen said to me yesterday.. ask me go find boyfriend.. lolx.. i would want it too lahz.. BUT, this time round, NOT any Tom, Dick, Harry.. BUT... someone whom i think can last till marriage.. one that is serious in everything he do and can gives me the sense of security i need..

i know it will come.. i know i wont have to search.. maybe he's already around, just that i didnt realise only.. just wait and while waiting... i am going all out for KOSEN-RUFU movements.. and also strive a path on my nursing career.. and not forgetting about my humanitarian works!! :D and also my dearest family and friends.. after so many things have happened, it has opened my eyes of seeing who are the ones who really cares for me.. for those who dont bother, i seriously dont give a shit now.. and for those who go all out to make sure i'm okie, i'm really grateful about it! i'll not forget you guys! thanks so much!! love you guys lots!! :D

a unknown guy popping out from no where just added me on facebook yesterday.. didnt know who's he.. but know his name familiar so i just approved.. who knows.. he's someone i dont know.. what to do.. just make friends lohz.. BUT, this time round.. i learnt my LESSON.. i'm a FAST LEARNER okie.. he asked me if i got boyfriend.. and i told him i have..lolx.. i just LIED to him! it's a WHITE LIE lahz.. just want to prevent myself from UNNECESSARY TROUBLES.. lolx.. and he asked for my number.. BUT, i didnt give.. like i say, i wont want my next boyfriend-to-be to be any Tom, Dick or Harry.. so yup.. just want to be more CAUTIOUS myself!! :D

tat guy is from NTU.. so i just helped NTU RCHN publisize.. i told him that they got blood drive in October.. ask him go support with his blood.. lolx:D dont know what's wrong with me.. think my miagraine and flu makes me a bit BLUR liao.. even my mood is kind of affected..

well, i'm just being EMO today..

[ true love is worth waiting for..... ]

true love is worth waiting for.....

hasnt been blogging for the past few days.. just one simple reason - i'm just too LAZY!! hahaz.. actually, i everyday also finish lessons at 12pm.. but i just dont know why i am so LAZY to blog.. come home only shower then sleep till dinner time before i wake up for my dinner.. lolx! 4hours straight of combined lecture can DIE!! lolx..

never the less, we always keep ourselves ENTERTAINED!! lolx.. with laughter and jokes!! sad.. Mrs Tang didnt teach for combined lecture.. makes our laughter lessen.. yesterday lesson was much interesting.. cause we were given the chance to watch the video on "natural birth"... GOSH! i just feel that it is so painful.. maybe i'll just choose not to give birth naturally lahz.. so painful sia! so more must wait for cervix to dilate then the constriction is HORRIBLE manz! MOTHERs are really WEI DA!

was having miagraine for the past few days and flu set in as well.. i think i'm still not used to the school setting again.. like i said before, i have problems adapting to new environment.. kind of used to the "full of germs" hospital.. now back to school, a bit too CLEAN! lolx.. i just too TROUBLESOME lahz.. i actually wrote that i had miagraine and flu on my facebook.. and to my SURPRISE, Medy comment on my status! gosh! he was just being caring enough to ask me take care! thank you so much! :D and also thankful to Chee Cheng who was so concern over me when i mentioned i got nightmares the other day on facebook.. i guess facebook is the "NO SECRET" hiding place.. lolx.. everyone just know my every single movement! but really thankful for those who really concern for me.. i can feel the LOVE! thanks!! :D

today.. woke up very early.. at about 7.30am.. cause we have a red cross main com meeting in the morning.. supposed to attend a talk at HQ in the meeting and main com meeting in the afternoon.. then i wont be able to attend the first cfg combined rehearsal.. BUT, thanks to my prayers.. they are being answered! the talk was cancelled so the main com meeting has been pushed forward to 1oam in the morning.. some people i will have to talk to didnt turn up for the meeting.. and the teachers arent being supportive enough also.. only Ms Chow present.. gosh!

meeting finished at 1plus.. with us taking crazy pictures!! hahaz! we had FUN! pictures still have Victor.. shall post it up some other time.. many upcoming events - camps, first aid competition, blood drive.. GOSH! i really need GOOD TIME MANAGEMENT as i shall DECLARE - this is my LAST sem in school! got to WORK SUPER HARD to push up my GPA even further.. rushed off from Tampines to Senja.. got rehearsal today.. and i was LATE with valid reasons lahz.. hahaz!

had few rounds of trainings.. and i'm happy that the kids are better controlled now.. Evelyn cried today.. think she's just too scared and have missed out the previous training.. thank gohonzon that i remembered that she's SK student now.. so i told her: " Evelyn, children of the lions must be strong, righteous and free, we mustnt cried that easily." and i sang her the school song! GOSH! she turned out smiling and my relationship gets a step closer!! cause she has always been shy and dare not talk to me.. well, this is the BOND between seniors and juniors.. nobody will has it!! hahaz! all the tiredness has been paid off!!!

we had a great time rehearsing and i'm really looking forward to it.. and i called Daryl today and went to Clementi to pass him the tickets.. that IDIOT.. i called him to ask him where he is.. he kept replying that he's in my heart! gosh! but it was a JOY.. i invited him and his sister.. and he invite few others!! :D cant believe that.. when i was with him, i tried asking him to come for concert events.. BUT, it has always been a failure.. been now, it seems like the seed has been watered and growing in a pot of plant.. i dont know if he will be shakubuku through this CFG.. but i am sure, i am a step closer!! :D it's indeed a JOY undescribable by words! :)

and was happy to see his sisters again, Pearl and Adrienna.. and his mom.. after so much they have gone through, they are still living strong.. i'm sure i can do it too! invited Huimin, Peixuan and Darren to come for my CFG too! really hope they can make it.. and not forgetting my dearest sisters - Stella and Xueyun.. Xueyun will be helping out with welcoming.. BUT, most important is must come! cause there will be lots of SURPRISE!!!! hahaz!! :D back aching like mad=X ... simply cant straighten it anymore.. gosh! please recover! i'm having BCLS test on Tuesday manz! and starting BCLS practical on Monday.. back ache please GO AWAY! shall pray more tomorrow when i'm at home.. got to go rest early! :D i'm a GOOD GIRL! hahaz!=]

today is Lihua jiejie's first year death anniversary.. so fast.. one year liao le.. may you rest in peace.. i'll be praying for the police to catch the murder that cause you and your brother's death.. REST IN PEACE, Lihua jiejie!! missing you always..

[ at the beginning with you..... ]

at the beginning with you....

talked to Ben Ben yesterday night.. and told him what happened.. as usual lahz.. he will say i like drama queen.. my story so DRAMATIC! lolx.. i also dont want de. you just dont know how much FEAR i have now.. but anyway, thanks for comforting me.. anything will sure call you.. and thanks to STELLA and WOANLAN too!! =] they played a part comforting me too!! praying really hard everyday...

SECOND day in school.. woke up slightly later today cause Sook Mun sending me and her to school! :D thank you Uncle!! was discussing with her what elective to take while on the way to school.. she kind of dont know what to choose.. BUT, i have made up my mind to choose Oncology le!!:D just hoping to do well this sememster too!! :D will TRY and TRY my best to do well and bomb with daimoku too!=]

lesson started at 8am at LT4.. today combined class with F class.. feel kind of uncomfortable studying with other class people.. but saw Amanda:D lolx.. and Ms Jay and Ms Pearl sit in our class today also:D 10-12 was practical lesson.. learnt how to do eye swab, ear swab, nasal swab and throat swab.. and also eye drop, ear drop and nasal drop.. and how to do eye check.. lesson finished at 12plus today again!! thank you Mrs Tang for being so kind:D time-table for tomorrow till friday, all theory lessons! gosh! can die..

just finished lesson then mom called say ask me come home a bit faster.. cause she want to visit Grandaunt today at AMK Hospital:D will be visiting her later... will be doing some revision later when i come home.. a little bit TIRED now.. will try sleeping early tonight.. the GROUP meet-up cancelled today.. cause Ms Jay got a last minute meeting today.. never mind, will meet up soon yup peeps!! :)

going to prepare myself, going to visit Grandaunt! :D

tomorrow starting school at 8am!

Love this song:D - At the beginning by Richard Marx and Donna Lewis

We were strangers
Starting out on a journey
Never dreaming
What we'd have to go through
Now here we are
A nd I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you

No one told me
I was going to find you
Unexpected
What you did to my heart
When I lost hope
You were there to remind me
This is the start

Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey

I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you
Unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you

We were strangers
On a crazy adventure
Never dreaming
How our dreams would come true
Now here we stand

I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you
Unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you

I knew there was somebody somewhere
Like me alone in the dark
Now I know my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing's gonna tear us apart

Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey

I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

Life is a road and I wanna keep going
Love is a river I wanna keep going on....
Starting out on a journey
Life is a road and I wanna going
Love is river I wanna keep flowing
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you.


Is there someone who will truely love me?
And take my heart away and promise not letting it get hurt?
Can i still trust LOVE?


HAPPY BIRTHDAY MELVIN (tan)!!!! :D

[ nightmares kept me companied in the night.... ]

nightmares kept me companied in the night....

FIRST day in school.. met my new CA, Mrs Joanna Tang.. well, our class quite familiar with her liao.. she's our last semester's Biological Science 2 teacher.. now.. our CA.. a little strict, expectation quite high but someone NICE:D

met up with my clinque after so long.. kind of MISS them but also MISSING my CP mates:D the FUN we had, the quarrels we encountered.. every little single part enriches my life!! :) supposed to end school at 5pm today.. cause we got a 3hours break from 12pm-3pm.. BUT, we are quite co-operative with Mrs Tang and she managed to finish what she want to teach.. so, we are realised at 12plus!! :D still thinking of which elective to take.. but , higher chance of taking Oncology cause like so many people taking Psychiatric.. though i'm not really good in phase test compared to class test.. BUT, i think after speaking to Ms Emily Ng, i'll choose Oncology.. shall submit my choice tomorrow!:D

Headed to Tampines with clinque.. and went to buy Old Chang Kee with Daphne:D we were so ENGROSSED with our conversation till we over-shoot the shop.. then we were looking around and realised the Old Chang Kee is behind us.. lolx! damn FUNNY:D gobbled down my breakfast cum lunch on the bus then reached home.. showered and slept till 5plus.. really really TIRED!! after so much things have happened over the weekend.. *gosh*.. it's like a NIGHTMARE!!!

everytime i close my eyes now, his DISGUSTING face just appear! i'm so SCARED he will come after me! and i'll be DEAD!!!!!!!!! =X the feeling is NEVER GOOD!! i swear.. had packed dinner and watched drama at the same time.. hais.. he just cant get haunting me!! told antonio about it.. he's really SCARY.. now going to RC HQ must be extra careful.. hais!!

tomorrow - starting school at 8am, taking Sook Mun's Dad's car:D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LYN! :)

[ what comes wif e heart, goes wif e heart.... ]

What comes with the heart, goes with the heart...

woke up EARLY morning.. and headed to Jurong Kaikan for CFG Dance training.. was quite EARLY.. Mike was asking me if i know whether Chee Cheng comes back from overseas already not.. diaoz.. i didnt even know he went on a holiday.. saw him coming back.. like a chao da man! lolx.. must have gone diving or something..

dance was quite okie today.. BUT, the kids doesnt seems energetic.. guess i have to bomb in more daimoku then can le.. after CFG dance practice, went to look Stella and Stephanie (lam) at Woodlands Causeway point.. had an ice-cream cone while waiting for them.. then till about 4pm, managed to meet up with them.. then, had Ajisen Ramen with them.. been some time since i last eat ramen liao.. then went to Popular and Pasa malam to walk around.. quite warm sia..

took 965 with Stephanie and Stella.. dropped at yishun with Stella and went to buy bubble tea.. went to void deck and sat there while waiting for Mom.. really DISAPPOINTED with that Calvan.. managed to see Janurai online just now so i asked if Calvan is keeping in contact with her.. then she said yes.. to my SURPRISE, then i know that Calvan is also going after her.. WHAT AN ASS ma! gosh! i was RIGHT.. he's indeed that kind of guys who go after different girls at one time!

dont worry! i wont let you off easily.. NTU peeps and whoever going for F1 Red Cross Duty, please be CAREFUL of him.. anything let me know!! *gosh!* he's a HORROR manz! just afraid he will come look for me.. just hope HQ side wont reveal my personal details to him.. OH PLEASE!!! thank god didnt listen to mom this time.. what age is not a problem.. if i listen to her, i'll be sending sheep to the tiger's mouth.. hais! thank god Shine Campaign got chant a lot.. is really a blessing in disguise.. *gosh* no wonder i recently keep having nightmares!! gosh!!

tomorrow, will be back in campus for 2.2 liao.. like so FAST.. one blink then going to graduate liao.. going to sleep:D

[ really disappointed.... ]

really disappointed....

woke up really EARLY today.. despite sleeping late yesterday night.. had a quarrel with Mom yesterday night just before sleep.. and i cried myself to sleep.. waking up today morning with swollen eyes! gosh! went for the COC camp.. Thank god Sakinah rushed back from JB.. if not, the whole morning, i'll be the ONLY representative from ITE.. lolx.. BUT, i also feel kind of BAD to make her rush back.. i just hope she enjoyed the camp!!:D Victor and Xiangyun joined us at the later part..

it was quite FUNNY.. saw NTU peeps at Clementi Mrt while me and Sakinah are heading to Ngee Ann.. i cant deny that the whole bunch of us are really NOISY!! lolx! BUT it was really FUN! reached Ngee Ann main gate then me and Sakinah just quietly hide behind those NTU peeps in order for Jordan not to spot us! lolx! he just a mafan guy.. got ENOUGH of him just because of this camp.. lolx.. was allocated to be in group 6.. with 10 other people.. namely, Chern Fen, Daine, Vinh son, JJ, Yaw Keong, Michael, Vani, Xinyi, Guo yang and Ali.. making up 11 people including me.. therefore our group name is 6-Eleven!! :D kind of LAME but really NICE one.. hahaz!

games were okie.. lunch okie too.. lots of FUN i guess because NTU peeps are around.. have fun making fun of JJ and threatening him about Vibrant Blood'09!! hahaz! just hope he wont be angry that i gang up with the rest to bully him!! lolx!!:D lots of FUN.. like seeing Jordan eating raw eggs.. well, i guess that's kind of disgusting BUT because of that, i kind of have a better impression of him.. lolx! i guess that eggs are WORTH..


left with Ms Chow, Victor and Xiangyun at around 5.30pm.. showered at NP and headed to Red Cross HQ in a cab.. on the way, really had lots of FUN!! :D reached HQ and saw a BOMB! saw Calvan.. didnt expect that he will be there.. was kind of SHOCKED.. hais. what a BIG liar!! say will not be coming to Singapore for few years.. all RUBBISH! was so ANGRY so i smsed him.. who knows.. that ASS! said so many HARSH things out.. 我心都冷了! hais.. how come i will know such a person? hais.. shall not talk about him.. after the ceremony at HQ, headed back home to celebrate Mom's birthday..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!! :D

6-Eleven!! :D

Group pic!! :)

[ just another day.. ]

just another day....

was on morning shift yesterday and today.. nothing much actually.. guess we are more FREE cause NO MORE rushing skills for me and there's NYP students per shift.. some of them are kind of friendly.. some really arrogant.. it really reminds me that i shouldnt be like that when i really become a poly student.. hmm.. AN Deeva came to talk to me.. say i'm her favourite student.. HAHAZ! *paiseh* lehz..

anyway, if she dont command people around, she's okie de lahz.. lolx.. 2more days to ENDURE and it's the end of our posting!! YES! hahaz.. then.. will be back in school for BCLS and 2.2! gosh.. who are like graduating SOON! like so soon.. then we'll be address as Asst Nurse! OH MY TIAN!! like so FAST!

kind of scare to go back to school.. cause going to readapt again.. hais! anyway, i really hope to maintain or further improve my gpa! cause i really hope to go further.. shall be praying hard for it.. as for other things, i dont wish to talk about it anymore and dont wish to talk about it anymore.. i just want to stay happy..

has been having nightmares this few days.. gosh! am i thinking too much? i also dont.. hope to sleep well! i'm so TIRED manz.. tomorrow, will be on afternoon shift.. more time for me to sleep! hahaz! i'm just a lazy pig!! :) heez!

[ I HATE YOU!!!! ]

I HATE YOU!!!!!

today is school holiday as it's Teachers' Day.. therefore, HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY to all TEACHERS!! stayed at home today as i was too TIRED after yesterday.. nothing better to do so decided to go online.. anyhow click and came to this blog of a friend..

i always thought you're one of the NICEST guy i ever met.. being TRUE and being SINCERE.. and i always feel that i was the one who didnt know how to cherish our time together.. only know how to bully you and stuff.. BUT, today, i know.. it's all a LIE! you are just another GUY!!!.. another one that makes me cry myself in front of the computer.. crying for no specific reason.. i thought you are being true and wanted so much to convince myself to accept you again.. BUT, it turns out to a hurting TRUTH.. why didnt you tell me about that girl? why didnt you let me know that you like her? maybe she's the type that suits you better ba..

maybe she's the one who can understand you better.. i was just a PAST that needs to be erase completely.. I REALLY HATE YOU! get out of my LIFE! GO AWAY from me pleasE! what is there so good to fight for her with your brother? is she that good? or are you just BLIND? from today onwards, i'll get you out of my prayers list.. NO more praying for your happiness! cause it's NOT WORTHWHILE at all~!

why become another person that tie my heart into pieces? why be another person that makes me that think that NO GUYS in this world can be trusted? why let me me find out the truth? why?

sometimes, love and hate is just a THIN margin....


P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOOK MUN!! :)