u give mi hope n smash them in2 pieces again

[u give mi hope n smash them in2 pieces again]

i seems restless 2dae.. u give mi hope.. n smash them again.. u alwaz go MIA.. mayb i'm wrong again.. i jus cant force u.. how am i goin 2 face u?? ur bdae cumin in a mth time.. will u invite mi?? will u?? if i c u tis cumin wkend.. should i greet u?? or should i avoid?? it's confusin mi.. thank u 4 givin mi all e encouragement, care n concern.. i realli appreciate it.. mayb we will jus remain like tis 4ever ba.. remain in tis state.. tis status.. we r nv close.. i alwaz tot we r close.. veri close frenz.. but we r not.. i'm e one bein concern 4 all ur stuff.. but 2 u.. my stuff r my business ba..

haiz.. wat should i do?? 2dae work quite occupied.. at least i'm doin my job- drawing.. lolx.. though i noe pple still questionin my ability.. but i new 2 everythingy.. i need time badly.. lolx.. last week got a new guy workin under my dad.. lolx.. he realli looks like jay chou.. his looks.. his hairstyle.. e way he work oso.. lolx.. but he got hearin impaired.. oh no.. wat a pity rite?? hmmm.. but too old 4 mi.. b my bro is a beta choice.. nv tok 2 him b4.. so dunoe wat kinda person is he... but he smokes.. though my 1st impression quite gd.. but 2nd impression but gd liao.. i jus dislike pple who smokes..

got hearin impaired still dunoe how 2 cherish life.. wat is tat?? haiz.. i'm upset.. veri upset.. can any1 cheer mi up???

LIVING WITH REGRETS......

LIVING WITH REGRETS........

tis few daes veri busi.. yester work till 1.30.. cos co co nv cum work.. summore got drawings need 2 draw.. i jus do my veri best 2 draw it out.. till hav 2 pick up calls 4 e admin oso.. mutli-taskin.. haiz.. then hav 2 rush 2 tampines kaikan 4 e youth peace lecture on e topic "e triumph of mentor-disciple spirit".. e speaker is soka(india)'s president.. dun realli seems 2 catch him well.. cos of his essen.. plus.. i'm jus tired.. after which.. went 2 eat sakae sushi wif anna, yvonne n another fren whom i 4got e name.. oh gosh.. lolx.. saw ah mui there oso.. she seems happi workin there.. i'm happi 4 her too.. then went hm.. slept quite early.. abt 10 plus i'm alread in bed..

2dae.. woke up quite early too.. cos goin down 2 telok blangah 2 chant.. every sun we hav mornin daimoku/gongyo session from 8am to 9am.. n i was late.. cos of e stupid bus.. but late is alwaz beta than nv turn up.. i jus hardly c any youngsters goin.. 2 mani of them.. sundae is 2 slp as late as they can.. n wake up wif a fresh mind 4 shoppin.. lolx(=.=!!).. after which.. went 2 out book store n bought a book entitled " a piece of mirror".. gonna finish it in 4 daes time no matter wat happened.. cos tis cumin thurs is my 2nd ywd plannin meetin 4 our june's ywd discussion meetin on e 24th.. yvonne treat mi 2 eat dim sum at raffles place tat side.. quite nice.. realli veri long nv eat dim sum liao le.. mayb bcos i'm cantonese ba.. so i love dim sum a lot.. heez(>.<)..

after which.. yvonne went 4 gym.. haiz.. she got free 1 mth membership wanna give mi.. but i'm under 21.. so cannot go.. oh.. so sad(x.x).. i almost fall aslp at e gym there waitin 4 her.. after which.. went 2 her office wif her.. she wanna grab sum stuff done.. then took mrt 2 tampines kaikan 4 2dae's women's peace lecture on e topic " e future lies wif women ".. learnt quite a no of stuff thru e 2 talks.. though is still e same speaker.. lolx(^.^).. after which went 2 eat genki sushi wif them.. it's realli bad.. worse than sakae de.. yvonne realli regret.. n she looks so upset.. haiz.. wat a pity.. nv take pic wif them though i hav camera wif mi.. sobx sobx (T.T)..

took 969 from tampines back hm.. on e bus.. i realli tink a lot.. yvonne kept askin mi 2 go back 2 studies again.. she sae i musnt give up my education bcos of my work.. haiz.. it isnt i dun wan 2 study.. i love 2.. i wish 2.. i wan 2.. i wan 2 go back 2 sch jus like others.. but i cant.. finiancially no.. i cant affect 2 go back 2 sch n give up my job.. i cant even hav e ability 2 study n work at e same time.. time is too consumin 4 my life.. thru out tis 17 over yrs i'm been livin.. i jus realised i got lotsa regrets.. regrets in studies.. regrets in my work.. regrets in my personal love life..

i regret not puttin enough efforts in my studies.. if i do well, i mite not hav 2 work.. i mite hav 2 give up my ambition, my dream.. i mite hav 2 suffer so much.. i mite not hav b force 2 do thingys i hate.. i mite not hav 2 work a longer path than others.. i mite hav 2 give up on e one i love.. now tat i hav switch department.. i hav 2 learn 2 adapt 2 e new enviroment again.. tat's wat i hate.. i dun love 2 learn all over again.. i dun like 2 learn crawling again.. pple r flyin, so y mus i crawl?? quite sum time ago, i feel like movin out.. but i noe i cant survive..

2 mani pple ard mi mite hav e impression tat i'm courageous, daring, confident, determined n independent ger.. especiall those soka frenz of mine.. hahaz.. sorrie 2 sae.. i'm not wat u tink.. i seems courageous from my actions.. i seems daring from my style of workin.. i seems confident from my tone of words.. i seems determined from my thinking.. n.. i seems independent .. but it's all illusion.. cos i not.. i'm oso weak.. weak at times..

cumin 2 relation.. haiz.. well.. i'm quite gd in handlin frenship.. but cums 2 love.. oh no.. wat a mess!! my 1st stead.. he like mi 1st.. so i choose e one who love mi.. 2nd stead.. he oso like mi 1st.. again.. i choose e one who love mi.. my 3rd stead.. oso e same.. i choose e one who love mi.. my 4th stead.. oso like mi 1st.. again.. i choose e one who love mi more than i love him.. e 5th one.. oso.. e same.. y mus i choose e one who love mi?? y cant i choose e one i love??

u neglected mi.. u broke ur promise.. u abandoned mi.. u sae.. u sae if i need ur help.. u give ur fullest support.. but u nv.. u r alwaz MIA.. missing in action.. u r alwaz busi.. i wanna tell u my probz.. i wanna share wif u my happiness.. my sorrows.. liar.. big liar.. mayb i'm wrong.. wrong 2 keep u in my heart.. wrong 2 tink of u.. wrong 2 spare a though 4 u.. wrong 2 noe u.. i'm tired..