slept at almost 2am this morning and woke up at 2pm this afternoon!! :) hahaz.. you can see how TIRED i am these few days and how LAZY Jessica can get during the holidays.. hahaz! cant blame lahz.. today, early morning only then it start raining liao.. therefore, my mind doesnt seems to be able to wake up..
wake up at 2pm, showered and went to pray.. then went to get my brunch.. had half spring chicken with fries, coke and got myself watermelon juice also.. also didnt know what to eat cause choice of food is limited on sundays over at my house area.. and i am too lazy to go to central for a meal..
came home and watched tv.. just lying on the sofa and dont wish to move at all.. HE's out for shopping.. so didnt want to disturb him.. want to let him enjoy a bit.. feeling not that well today.. since last night, kept having the nausea feeling lohz.. hais.. feel so uncomfortable.. went to meet Mom at 7pm at yishun central.. mom look at me looking so lethargic and tired.. didnt know why.. just dont have to energy...
had ramen at the japanese foodcourt.. oh well, i still LOVE Ajisen's:) mom had the same thinking too!=] then bought some sushi home as well.. still feeling a little not well.. is it because HE's not well too? i should be HAPPY these few days ar.. get good results, get into poly.. what else to hope for? just hope he's coming back soon! and celebrate my joy with me.. and also hope friends around me are doing well and enjoying life too!=]
these few days, has been thinking a lot.. i feel that RC really brought many people's lives together.. some from strangers to friends, from friends to couples.. and some sadly from couples to total strangers again.. many a times, the situation from couples to total strangers would be MUCH MUCH WORSE than before they become friends.. same for gakkai as well.. i guess it's a NORM to see this in a human organisation.. where ever you go, if there's human beings, there bounds to be situations like this happening.. I just feel that for a person to know another person, this kind of fate never comes easy.. therefore, no matter what, CHERISH it!:)
also thought of another issue.. kind of feel that it would be good that people who are attached to keep a distance from the opposite sex.. just for example, if you're a guy and you're attached, maybe to a certain extent, you should stay away from other girls.. though you might not feel anything towards those girls.. but that doesnt mean they might not develop a feeling toward you in the later day to come.. or the girl might not feel anything for you.. same goes if you're a girl and you're attached.. nowadays, i really feel that FEELINGS this kind of thing, really CANT CONTROL.. friends around me already show me a good REAL LIFE EXAMPLE liao.. and i think i have enough of SHOCK recently le.. hais.....
and if a relationship has comes to an end because of whatever reason.. NO POINT DWELLING into it.. and comes out with all the 小动作.. it wont helps AT ALL! it will only makes the possibility of from couples to friends DROPPED to NEGATIVE! in other words, actually there's a chance to be friends after breaking up.. but because of all your 小动作, you pushed that person further away from you and in turn become TOTAL STRANGER.. that feeling is really SCARY! dont want this to happen, then stop all your 小动作 le.. wake up and MOVE ON ba..
i am a 过来人 myself.. i know how it feels of guys 一脚踏两船, guys 移情别恋 or simply just say better to be friends, or NO FEELINGS liao this kind of words.. i am a girl, i know how it feels.. BUT what can i do? CRY all day long? CURSE and SWEAR at HIM? 绝食抗议? it WONT WORKS at all! NOBODY will pity you if you do all these.. you can do all these for half a year, one year even your entire life.... he wont come back means he wont come back.. what you should do is BE STRONG, MOVE ON, and LEAD EVEN BETTER LIFE.. and think that you guys just dont have the fate.. it's okie to meet MANY WRONG ONES, cause i believe it will make YOU CHERISH THE RIGHT ONE EVEN MORE when you really meet him.. so girls out there, jiayou le! you have all my SUPPORT!=]
Everything depends on what is in our hearts. If we decide to ourselves that something is impossible, then, consistent with our minds in thinking so, even something that is possible for us will become impossible. On the other hand, if we have the confidence that we can definitely do something, then we are already one step closer to achieving it in reality.
-Daisaku Ikeda-
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